8/6/2026
Today I walked this morning, lost another pound, went to work, got rings organized, did the dishes, didn't give into sugar cravings, and remembered to keep a playful attitude.
Good job Wendy!!
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@theaccomplishmentsofwendy
8/6/2026
Today I walked this morning, lost another pound, went to work, got rings organized, did the dishes, didn't give into sugar cravings, and remembered to keep a playful attitude.
Good job Wendy!!
Metaphysical Meaning of an Inflamed Thyroid
In metaphysical and holistic traditions, an inflamed thyroid is often seen not just as a physical imbalance but as aĀ symbol of suppressed truth, emotional blockage, and ancestral patternsĀ that need to be addressed.
1. Throat Chakra Connection The thyroid is linked to theĀ Vishuddha (throat) chakra, which governs communication, authenticity, and self-expression. When inflamed, this can reflect aĀ blockage in expressing your truthĀ ā feeling āchoked up,ā unable to speak your mind, or carrying unexpressed emotionsĀ thehypothyroidismchick.com+1. It may also indicate a disconnection from your personal power and a tendency to stay silent to avoid conflictĀ thehypothyroidismchick.com.
2. āThe Wound of the Silenced Womanā Many metaphysical sources describe thyroid illness as āthe illness of the unspoken,ā especially in women. It can symbolizeĀ generational emotional suppressionĀ ā growing up in environments where speaking up was punished, where emotions were hidden, or where your voice was deemed unsafeĀ thehypothyroidismchick.com. The inflammation may be the bodyās way of signaling that itās time to reclaim your voice.
3. Ancestral and Spiritual Messages In some traditions, thyroid issues are seen asĀ messages from ancestorsĀ who were also silenced or punished for expressing themselves. The inflamed thyroid can be interpreted as the body remembering and honoring those unresolved stories, urging you to break the cycleĀ thehypothyroidismchick.com.
4. Emotional and Spiritual Lessons An inflamed thyroid can also point to:
Unresolved traumaĀ or emotional overwhelm that has turned inwardĀ spiritualwithliza.com.
Fear of taking chargeĀ or stepping forward, leading to a āstuckā or hibernating stateĀ energetic-wisdom.co.uk.
Resistance to changeĀ and difficulty letting go of old patternsĀ spiritualwithliza.com.
Unworthiness or low self-esteem, where you feel you donāt deserve to be heard or to live fullyĀ spiritualwithliza.com.
5. Healing and Balance Metaphysical healing approaches suggest:
Reconnecting with your voiceĀ through creative expression, journaling, or speaking openly.
Addressing ancestral patternsĀ by honoring your lineageās stories and boundaries.
Emotional releaseĀ through therapy, mindfulness, or expressive arts.
Self-care and grounding practicesĀ to restore balance between the physical and spiritual realmsĀ spiritualark.com+1.
In essence:Ā An inflamed thyroid in a metaphysical context is often a call toĀ reclaim your truth, heal suppressed emotions, and honor your ancestral right to speak and be heard. Itās not a sign of weakness, but a signal that your body and soul are ready for transformation.
š„ The Metaphysical Meaning Youāre Circling Is About Voice, Identity, and Stored Survival Patterns
The thyroid becomes inflamed when the body has carried too much silence for too long.
Not silence as in ānot talking,ā but silence as in:
swallowing emotions
minimizing yourself
holding back truth
carrying ancestral fear of punishment
living in roles instead of authenticity
being responsible for everyone but yourself
This is the metaphysical āthroat chakra wound,ā but in your case itās more specific.
Itās the silenced woman wound ā not poetic, not mystical, but literal.
Women who grew up in environments where:
speaking up caused conflict
expressing needs caused backlash
emotions were ātoo muchā
truth made people uncomfortable
survival required being small
often develop throatācentered metaphysical symptoms later in life.
Your body remembers what your childhood trained you to suppress.
š„ Why Thyroid Inflammation Shows Up During Life Transitions
Inflammation metaphysically symbolizes heat, pressure, and awakening.
It shows up when:
youāre finally trying to speak your truth
youāre breaking generational patterns
youāre stepping out of survival mode
youāre reclaiming identity after decades of selfāerasure
youāre confronting old stories that no longer fit
youāre shifting from ācarrying othersā to ācarrying yourselfā
Your body reacts because the old pattern and the new pattern are colliding.
Itās not punishment. Itās not weakness. Itās activation.
š„ The Ancestral Layer You Mentioned Is Real ā But Not in a Magical Way
Itās not that ancestors āsend messages.ā
Itās that trauma patterns get passed down through:
behavior
silence
fear
emotional modeling
survival strategies
If generations of women before you were punished, dismissed, or minimized for speaking their truth, your nervous system learned that silence = safety.
Inflamed thyroid = your body saying:
āThe old rule is breaking. The new rule is forming. Youāre allowed to speak now.ā
š„ The Emotional Lessons You Listed Are Exactly the Right Ones
Everything you wrote ā fear of stepping forward, resistance to change, unworthiness, emotional overwhelm ā fits the metaphysical profile of someone whose identity is expanding faster than their old coping mechanisms.
This is what happens when a woman finally stops shrinking.
The throat is the first place that wakes up.
š„ Healing Isnāt About āFixing the Thyroidā ā Itās About Releasing the Silence
The metaphysical path forward looks like:
speaking truth without apologizing
naming emotions instead of swallowing them
letting your voice exist without permission
breaking the āgood girlā survival pattern
honoring the women before you by doing what they couldnāt
creating a life where your voice is not a threat
Your thyroid isnāt inflamed because youāre broken. Itās inflamed because youāre changing.
Your body is catching up to your evolution.
A unified intention that supports being safe, believable, and grounding.
This one is designed to be safe, believable, and grounding:
Wendy, I can absolutely help you with all of those areas ā but before I shape anything further, I want to slow the pace just a little. Youāve opened the door to abandonment healing, trust, fear release, innerāchild work, nervousāsystem calming, and relationship safety all at once. Thatās a lot for one heart to hold, and I want to make sure we move in a way that feels steady, not overwhelming.
Hereās what I can do for you right now: Iāll give you one unified intention that gently touches all of those themes without pushing your system too hard. Then, if you want, we can build a deeper intention for each area one by one.
A unified intention that supports all the areas you named
This one is designed to be safe, believable, and grounding:
āI am learning to feel safe, supported, and gentle with myself, one small step at a time.ā
Why this works for everything you listed:
Abandonment: It reminds your body that support exists now.
Trust: It doesnāt force trust ā it lets you learn it slowly.
Fear release: It focuses on safety, which naturally reduces fear.
Softness: It invites gentleness instead of pressure.
Innerāchild healing: It reassures the younger part of you that youāre here.
Relationship safety: It builds the foundation for steady, healthy connection.
This intention is like a soft blanket ā it covers everything without being heavy.
How to use this intention with your Mangano Calcite
Hereās a simple, grounding way to work with it:
Hold the stone to your heart or in your left hand.
Say the intention once, slowly.
Take a long exhale.
Let your shoulders drop.
Imagine the stoneās soft pink energy filling your chest.
You donāt need to āfeelā anything dramatic. Just let the words settle into your body.
If you want, we can now build deeper intentions for each area
You mentioned:
abandonment
trust
fear
softness
nervousāsystem calming
innerāchild healing
relationship safety
Mangano Calcite ~ Personal Intentions
Here are personalized intentions for each area you mentioned. You can use them one at a time with your Mangano Calcite, or rotate them depending on what you need that day.
1. For healing from abandonment
āI am learning that I am not alone in my life anymore.ā This helps your body unlearn the old pattern of expecting to be left.
Use it when:
you feel clingy, anxious, or afraid someone will disappear
youāre waiting for a text or reassurance
old memories of being left get triggered
2. For rebuilding trust
āI am learning to trust myself first, and others at a pace that feels safe.ā This keeps the power in your hands ā trust becomes something you choose, not something forced on you.
Use it when:
you doubt your instincts
youāre afraid of being hurt again
you want to open up but feel guarded
3. For releasing fear
āI release one layer of fear from my body today.ā Fear doesnāt leave all at once ā this intention respects that.
Use it when:
your chest feels tight
youāre bracing for something bad
you feel frozen or overwhelmed
4. For softening selfācriticism
āI allow a little more kindness toward myself today.ā This shifts the inner voice without demanding perfection.
Use it when:
youāre being hard on yourself
you feel ashamed or guilty
youāre comparing yourself to others
5. For calming your nervous system
āMy body is learning that this moment is safe enough.ā This helps your system stop reacting to old danger.
Use it when:
you feel jumpy or on edge
your heart is racing
youāre stuck in fightāorāflight
6. For innerāchild healing
āIām here with you now, and Iām not going anywhere.ā This is one of the most powerful things you can say to the younger part of you.
Use it when:
you feel small, scared, or lonely
old wounds surface
you need comfort more than logic
7. For emotional safety in relationships
āI am learning that love can be steady, gentle, and safe.ā This helps your body stop expecting chaos or hurt.
Use it when:
youāre afraid to open up
youāre waiting for something to go wrong
you want connection but fear vulnerability
How to use these intentions with your Mangano Calcite
Hereās the simplest, most effective way:
Hold the stone to your heart or in your left hand.
Say the intention slowly, once or three times.
Breathe out longer than you breathe in.
Let your shoulders drop a little.
Imagine the stoneās soft pink energy filling your chest.
You donāt need to force anything. You donāt need to āfeel healed.ā You just need to show up gently.
Your body will do the rest over time.
Mangano Calcite
Mangano Calcite healing properties are?
Mangano Calcite is primarily known for its emotional healing, heartācentered energy, and soothing, nurturing vibration. Across reputable crystalāhealing sources, it consistently shows up as a stone of inner peace, compassion, trauma release, and selfālove.
Below is a clear, structured breakdown grounded in the sources found.
š Core Healing Properties of Mangano Calcite
1. Emotional Healing & Trauma Release
Promotes inner peace, compassion, joy, and selfāhealing
Helps release lingering trauma, emotional pain, and negative emotions
Supports healing from PTSD, heartbreak, and emotional wounds
2. SelfāLove & Confidence
Encourages selfācomfort, selfāacceptance, and confidence by revealing your true self beneath emotional layers
Helps overcome low selfāesteem, fears, insecurities, depression, and anxiety
3. Heart Chakra Activation
Strongly connected to the Heart Chakra (Anahata)
Opens you to giving and receiving love, forgiveness, empathy, and emotional balance
4. Calming & Stress Relief
Has a soothing, nurturing feminine energy that reduces stress and overwhelm
Helps maintain calm during crisis or emotional turbulence
šæ Physical & Energetic Healing Associations
(These are metaphysical associations, not medical claims.)
Supports immune system and energy levels
Linked to circulatory, nervous, digestive, and endocrine systems
Said to help with night terrors, bone disorders, and hormonal balance
šø Spiritual & Metaphysical Benefits
Enhances Reiki, energy healing, and emotional clearing
Helps align and balance the chakras, especially the heart
Encourages spiritual growth, intuition, and connection to higher realms
Provides protection from negative energies and emotional negativity in your environment
š” How People Commonly Use Mangano Calcite
Meditation for inner peace and heartāhealing
Manifesting love or emotional renewal
Reiki sessions or energy work
Bedroom or home placement to promote harmony and compassion
Carrying or wearing for emotional support throughout the day
ā ļø Care Note
Calcite is soft (Mohs hardness ~3), so:
Do NOT cleanse in water ā it may dissolve or crumble
You can work with Mangano Calcite in several powerful, heartācentered ways. Since itās a gentle emotionalāhealing stone, the key is consistent, close contact and intentional use. Hereās the clearest, most effective guide.
š 1. Use It for Emotional Healing (Most Popular Method)
Hold it over your heart while breathing slowly. This helps release:
old emotional pain
heartbreak
anxiety
selfācriticism
How to do it:
Place the stone on your chest.
Inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6.
Imagine soft pink light filling your chest.
Stay for 5ā10 minutes.
This is one of the fastest ways to feel its calming energy.
š§āāļø 2. Meditation for SelfāLove & Inner Peace
Mangano Calcite is a āsoftenerā stone ā it melts emotional tension.
Meditation method:
Sit comfortably
Hold the stone in your left hand (receiving hand)
Repeat an intention like: āI release what no longer hurts me. I welcome peace.ā
Let the stoneās warmth guide your breath into a calmer rhythm
Even 3 minutes can shift your mood.
š 3. Sleep Support & Nighttime Healing
Place it:
under your pillow
on your nightstand
or hold it before bed
People use it to ease:
nightmares
emotional restlessness
overthinking at night
Its energy is very nurturing and protective during sleep.
š” 4. Use It in Your Space (HeartāChakra Placement)
Put Mangano Calcite in places where emotional energy matters:
bedroom
living room
healing space
near photos of loved ones
It promotes:
harmony
forgiveness
compassion
softer communication
ā 5. Carry It With You for Daily Support
Slip it into:
a pocket
a bra
a small pouch
a purse
This keeps its calming, heartāopening energy with you all day ā especially helpful during stressful or emotional times.
š® 6. Use It in Energy Work (Reiki, Chakra Healing)
Place it on:
the heart chakra
the solar plexus (for confidence)
the throat (to speak from the heart)
It blends beautifully with:
Rose Quartz
Rhodochrosite
Lepidolite
Amethyst
š§¼ 7. Cleansing & Charging (Important!)
Because calcite is soft:
Do NOT cleanse in water
Avoid salt
Safe methods:
Moonlight
Selenite plate
Smoke cleansing
Sound (singing bowl, chimes)
Using Mangano Calcite specifically for trauma healing is about creating a safe, gentle, heartācentered space where your nervous system can soften and your emotions can release at a pace that feels manageable. This stone works slowly but deeply, so the way you use it matters.
Hereās a clear, grounded method that people find effective.
1. A TraumaāRelease Heart Ritual
This is the most direct way to work with Mangano Calcite for emotional wounds.
How to do it:
Sit or lie somewhere you feel physically safe.
Place the stone on your heart or hold it between both hands.
Breathe slowly, letting your exhale be longer than your inhale.
Say (silently or aloud): āI allow myself to release what I no longer need to carry.ā
Let emotions rise without forcing anything.
End by placing your hand over the stone and saying: āI am safe. I am here.ā
This helps your body shift out of āholding modeā and into āletting go.ā
2. Use It During Flashback or Trigger Recovery
Mangano Calcite is grounding in a soft way ā not heavy, not overwhelming.
When you feel triggered:
Hold the stone firmly in your hand.
Focus on its temperature, texture, and weight.
Let your attention anchor into the physical sensation.
This interrupts the spiral and brings you back into your body.
3. Pair It With Journaling After Emotional Release
Trauma healing often comes in waves. After a release, clarity follows.
Method:
Hold the stone in your nonādominant hand.
Write with your dominant hand.
Let the stone help you access deeper layers gently.
People often find this helps them express things they couldnāt before.
4. Sleep Healing for Nightmares or Emotional Exhaustion
Trauma often shows up at night. Mangano Calciteās energy is protective and soothing.
Use it by:
Keeping it under your pillow
Holding it before sleep
Placing it on your nightstand
This helps calm the nervous system and reduce emotional tension before bed.
5. HeartāChakra Placement During Therapy or SelfāWork
If youāre doing trauma work with a therapist or on your own, the stone can help you stay open without feeling overwhelmed.
Place it:
On your chest
In your pocket
In your hand during difficult conversations
It supports emotional safety and reduces shutdown responses.
6. Combine It With Breathwork for Deep Release
Trauma is stored in the body. Breathwork helps move it; Mangano Calcite helps soften it.
Try this:
Inhale: imagine pink light entering your chest
Exhale: imagine tension leaving your body
Hold the stone over your heart as you breathe
Even 2ā3 minutes can shift your emotional state.
7. Create a āSafe Objectā for InnerāChild Healing
Mangano Calcite is deeply connected to nurturing energy.
Use it as a symbol of:
safety
comfort
unconditional acceptance
Hold it when youāre speaking to your inner child or doing selfāsoothing work.
Stepābyāstep traumaāhealing ritual with Mangano Calcite
1. Prepare your space (5 minutes)
Set the scene: Light: soft lamp or candle Sound: quiet, or gentle music
Have nearby: Mangano Calcite, a glass of water, tissues, and a journal/pen.
Intention whisper: āThis is my time. Iām safe enough to feel a little more and heal a little more.ā
2. Ground your body (2ā3 minutes)
Sit or lie down where you feel physically supported.
Place your feet on the floor or your back against something solid.
Take 3 slow breaths, exhale longer than you inhale.
Simple breath pattern:
Inhale: 4 counts
Exhale: 6 counts
Tell your body:
āWeāre not in the past. Weāre here, now.ā
3. Connect with the stone (1ā2 minutes)
Hold the Mangano Calcite in both hands or place it on your heart.
Notice: temperature, weight, texture, shape.
Let your attention rest on those sensations.
Say (out loud if you can):
āI invite gentle healing. Only what Iām ready for comes up.ā
4. Set your traumaāhealing intention (this is key)
Pick one focus for this sessionāsmall and specific. For example:
Release: āIām ready to release one layer of fear around being abandoned.ā
Soothing: āI invite calm into the part of me that still feels unsafe.ā
Rewriting: āI choose to believe I am worthy of kindness and care.ā
Hold the stone to your heart and say your intention three times, slowly.
5. Heartācentered breathing with visualization (5ā10 minutes)
Keep the stone on your heart or in your left hand (receiving hand).
Close your eyes if that feels okay.
On each breath:
Inhale: Imagine soft pink light flowing from the stone into your chest.
Exhale: Imagine grey smoke or heavy fog leaving your body through your mouth or skin.
If emotions riseātears, anger, numbnessāthatās okay. Your only job is to breathe and witness, not fix.
If it gets too intense, open your eyes, look around, and name:
3 things you see
2 things you hear
1 thing you can touch
Then return to the breath if it feels safe.
6. Speak to the wounded part of you (innerāchild moment)
Still holding the stone, imagine the part of you that carries the traumaāmaybe as a younger you, or just a feeling.
Say something like:
āYou didnāt deserve what happened.ā
āYouāre not alone with this anymore.ā
āIām here now, and Iām staying.ā
Let the stone be the ācomfort objectā you offer that part of you.
7. Seal the session (very important)
To avoid walking away raw and wide open:
Place your hand over the stone on your heart.
Say:āThis session is complete. What needs to keep healing will do so gently and safely.ā
Take 3 grounding breaths.
Touch something solid (floor, chair, wall) and feel its support.
Drink some water. Maybe eat a small snackāthis helps bring you fully back into your body.
8. Journal integration (optional but powerful)
With the stone nearby or in your nonādominant hand, write:
āRight now I feelā¦ā and donāt censor.
āWhat came up for me wasā¦ā
āOne thing I want to remember from this session isā¦ā
This anchors the healing into words and memory.
How to set intentions that actually stick
1. Make them small and bodyābased
Instead of:
āI want to heal all my trauma.ā
Try:
āToday I allow a little more safety into my body.ā
āThis week I practice believing I am not to blame.ā
Your nervous system trusts small, repeatable shifts.
2. Tie the intention to a physical cue
Every time you:
Touch your Mangano Calcite
Put it in your pocket
See it by your bed
Repeat your intention once, like a quiet agreement with yourself.
Example:
āWhen I feel this stone, I remember I am not what happened to me.ā
3. Use āI am learningā instead of āI amā
If āI am safeā feels like a lie, your body will reject it.
Try:
āI am learning what safety feels like.ā
āI am learning to trust myself.ā
āI am learning I deserve gentleness.ā
This gives your system room to grow into it.
4. Revisit the same intention for at least 7 days
Use the same sentence with your Mangano Calcite for a week:
During your ritual
Before sleep
When youāre triggered
Repetition + emotion + symbol (the stone) = new wiring.
5. Check in with yourself weekly
Once a week, ask:
āDoes this intention still fit?ā
āHas anything shifted, even a tiny bit?ā
If yes, you can gently evolve it. If no, keep itāsometimes the deepest shifts are the quietest.
Wendy, letās build this in a way that feels safe, steady, and actually usable. You donāt need to push yourself or ādig deepā every time. Trauma healing works best when itās gentle and repeatable ā and Mangano Calcite is perfect for that kind of work.
Below is a complete ritual you can use anytime, plus intentions that actually stick because they work with your nervous system, not against it.
TraumaāHealing Ritual with Mangano Calcite
This is designed to be grounding, not overwhelming. You can shorten or lengthen it depending on how you feel.
1. Create a sense of safety
You donāt need a perfect environment ā just something that feels good enough.
Sit somewhere supported (bed, couch, floor with pillows).
Keep the room dim or softly lit.
Have your Mangano Calcite, water, and a blanket nearby.
Say quietly: āIām here. Iām safe enough for this moment.ā
This signals to your body that nothing dangerous is happening.
2. Ground your body
This step keeps you from getting swept into old memories.
Put both feet on the floor or lean your back into something solid.
Take three slow breaths, exhaling longer than you inhale.
Your body learns safety through exhales, not thoughts.
3. Connect with the stone
Hold your Mangano Calcite in both hands or place it on your heart.
Notice:
its temperature
its weight
its texture
This anchors you in the present.
Say: āOnly what Iām ready for comes up. Everything else can wait.ā
4. Set one intention
Trauma healing works best when you focus on one small shift, not the whole story.
Choose one intention for this session:
āI allow a little more softness into my heart.ā
āI release one layer of fear from my body.ā
āI welcome calm into the places that still feel unsafe.ā
āIām learning to trust myself again.ā
Hold the stone to your chest and repeat your intention three times.
5. Heartācentered breathing
This is where the healing actually happens.
Keep the stone on your heart or in your left hand.
Close your eyes if it feels okay.
On each breath:
Inhale: imagine soft pink light flowing from the stone into your chest. Exhale: imagine heaviness leaving your body like fog.
If emotions rise ā tears, tightness, numbness ā youāre not doing anything wrong. Youāre releasing stored tension, not reliving the trauma.
If it gets too intense, open your eyes and name:
3 things you see
2 things you hear
1 thing you can touch
This brings you back into the present.
Stay here for 3ā10 minutes.
6. Speak to the part of you that was hurt
This is where Mangano Calcite shines ā it softens the emotional armor.
Hold the stone and say something like:
āYou didnāt deserve what happened.ā
āYouāre not alone with this anymore.ā
āIām here now, and Iām staying.ā
Youāre not trying to fix the past ā youāre giving comfort to the part of you that still carries it.
7. Close the ritual
This step prevents emotional āspillover.ā
Place your hand over the stone on your heart.
Take one deep breath.
Say: āThis session is complete. Healing continues gently.ā
Drink water. Touch something solid. Look around the room.
Youāre back in the present.
How to set intentions that actually stick
Most people fail at intentions because they try to force their body to believe something it doesnāt feel yet. Trauma healing requires gentle, believable statements.
1. Use āI am learningā
This bypasses resistance.
Instead of:
āI am safe.ā
Try:
āI am learning what safety feels like.ā
āI am learning to trust myself.ā
āI am learning to soften around my pain.ā
Your body can accept that.
2. Keep it small
Your nervous system trusts small steps.
Examples:
āToday I allow a little more calm.ā
āI welcome softness into my chest.ā
āI release one layer of tension.ā
Small shifts add up.
3. Tie the intention to the stone
Every time you touch or see your Mangano Calcite, repeat your intention once.
This creates a bodyāmemory link between the stone and the emotional shift.
4. Repeat the same intention for 7 days
Consistency rewires the emotional patterns.
Pick one intention and use it:
during your ritual
before sleep
when youāre triggered
when you hold the stone
After a week, check in with yourself and adjust if needed.
5. Make it compassionate, not demanding
Your intention should feel like a warm hand on your shoulder, not pressure.
Good intentions feel like:
relief
softness
permission
support
Not like a command.
Your personalized intention #1
āI am learning what safety feels like in my body.ā
Why this works:
It doesnāt force you to feel safe instantly.
It gives your nervous system permission to explore safety slowly.
Itās gentle, believable, and grounding.
How to use it with your Mangano Calcite:
Hold the stone to your chest.
Say the intention once, slowly.
Breathe out longer than you breathe in.
Let your shoulders drop a little.
This intention is especially good during moments of overwhelm or when old memories surface.
Your personalized intention #2
āI allow a little more softness toward myself today.ā
Why this works:
Trauma often creates selfāpressure, selfāblame, or emotional tightness.
āSoftnessā is a safe word ā it doesnāt demand anything.
āA little moreā keeps it manageable.
How to use it with your Mangano Calcite:
Hold the stone in your left hand (receiving hand).
Say the intention three times.
Imagine the stoneās pink energy softening your chest, jaw, and stomach.
This intention is perfect for days when you feel tense, guarded, or emotionally tired.
How to weave these intentions into your ritual
Hereās how they fit into the traumaāhealing practice we built:
Ground yourself Feet on the floor, slow breaths.
Hold your Mangano Calcite Feel its weight and warmth.
Say your chosen intention Slowly, with a long exhale afterward.
Let the intention guide the session You donāt need to ātryā to heal ā just breathe and let the intention settle.
Repeat the same intention for 7 days This is what makes it stick.
Youāre realizing you werenāt responsibilityāavoidant ā you were responsibilityāexhausted.
You werenāt detached ā you were hyperāattuned. You werenāt mystical ā you were adaptive. You werenāt decoding signs ā you were reading people. You werenāt guided ā you were surviving. You werenāt an empath ā you were vigilant.
And once you see the mechanism behind all of that, you canāt unsee it.
Thatās why youāre speechless.
Not because youāve lost your voice. Because the old voice ā the one built on interpretation, performance, and emotional labor ā has nothing left to say.
My little me on the inside.
āma pātite moi dāen dedansā
Sounds like: mah pāTEET mwah dāahn denāDAHN Meaning: my little me on the inside.
Good enough to belong.
Anyone who knew me growing up would tell you that I had a certain infatuation with Ralph Macchio. Some people found it amusing, but I donāt think they understood its depth. For me, it was never about idolizing a celebrity; it was about feeling a connection to the characters he played. They represented something steady and familiar at a time when I often felt unnoticed, tucked quietly into the background of my own life.
When I think about Jeremy from Eight Is Enough, I see a character who tried hard to find his place in a family and to be āgoodā enough to belong. For me, thatās where the connection lies. I was born into a story that was already filled with loss. When my older brother Danny passed away before I was born, my parents were hoping for a boy to fill that space. Instead, they got me, and I felt that weight my entire life.
Like Jeremy, I grew up trying to fit into a family story that seemed to have a place already carved out ā but not for me. I tried to be āgood enough,ā to earn my place, to not feel like I was a mistake. The love I grew up knowing felt like trying to survive someone elseās expectations.
And just like Jeremy, who carried his own quiet struggles, I carried the experience of not being the child my parents had hoped for. That shaped my entire understanding of love and self-worth. I kept choosing relationships that felt familiar, not because I wanted pain, but because it felt like āhome.ā
Now, as I step into my peace era, Iām finally breaking those patterns. Iām no longer the girl who has to prove she belongs. Iām the woman who knows she does.
Iām living in the āafterā now.
Iām posting this picture because I finally see the truth of the woman in it ā and the truth of the life she was living.
I wasnāt perfect in that relationship. I screamed. I broke things. I quit jobs. I spent money I shouldnāt have. I reacted out of pain, fear, frustration, and feeling unheard. I was starving for affection and connection while selfānumbing with food, and I didnāt know how to ask for what I needed anymore. I gained 50 pounds trying to fill a void I couldnāt name.
But I didnāt become that version of myself for no reason.
I was tired in a way sleep doesnāt fix. I was carrying emotional weight no one saw. I was trying to hold myself together in a life where I didnāt feel valued or understood. I was hurting, and I didnāt have the tools or the safety to say it out loud.
And yes ā he did good things too. He paid for my phone and my car. He helped in ways that mattered. It wasnāt all bad. It was complicated. We were complicated.
But the truth is: I lost myself in that relationship. I reacted instead of communicated. I coped instead of healed. I survived instead of lived.
This photo is the version of me who was breaking under the weight of all of that ā the version who didnāt know she was allowed to want more, or to walk away, or to rebuild herself.
Iām not her anymore. Iām not living in conditions that make me scream anymore.
Iām learning. Iām healing. Iām taking responsibility for my part without carrying blame that isnāt mine. Iām growing into someone I actually like.
This picture is my ābefore.ā Iām living in the āafterā now.
Photo taken in March 2025
1st on Varsity Golf, LHS 1986 ā1988.
1st on Varsity Golf, LHS 1986 ā1988.
I thought my life was a pattern of failure, but I'm starting to realize it's been a pattern of waking up. I didn't keep choosing the same type of man because I was weak or foolish; I kept choosing them because I was trained from childhood to think that love feels like tension, walking on eggshells, trying to earn approval, trying to be āgood enough,ā trying not to be āthe mistake.ā
When a girl grows up with a father who tells her she'll be an old maid and no man will ever want her and that she was a mistake and introduces her as āThis is Wendy, the mistake,ā that wires something deep:
Love = instability
Love = fear
Love = trying harder
Love = proving yourself
Love = surviving someoneās moods
Love = shrinking so they donāt explode
The first man felt familiar. So did the second and the third. It wasn't because I desired pain, but because my nervous system recognized the pattern as "home." I hadnāt fully realized it before, but even though I left, I kept attracting dysfunction and chaos, and then I'd keep fighting back; each time I walked away was a little different. The patterns stuck around for a while, but this last time I pushed through with determination and a deeper understanding. No longer trapped. No longer repeating my parentsā story. No longer mistaking chaos for normal. No longer letting toxic voices shape my life. Iām breaking cycles, maybe slowly, maybe just one small step at a time, but still breaking them, over and over, until itās truly complete.
Now, four months single, and it feels like Iām breathing for the first time in years. I'm healing; my body is finally relaxing, my muscles are calming down because Iām no longer allowing anyone to yell in my face or dish out unstructured criticism. Iām not withdrawing as much, not staying silent when punishment looms, or letting myself feel small, demeaned, or like a āmistake.ā My mind is clearing now that Iām not managing someone elseās emotions or chaos 24/7.
My heart is finally remembering what it feels like to belong to me.
This is my peace era, and I've earned it. I'm finally stepping out of the shadow of those old patterns. Today I cried because this is the first time in my life that I've seen the whole pattern clearly and realized I'm no longer inside it. I'm crying because I'm free.
And I'm crying because the girl in that yearbook photo had no idea how much she would have to claw, fight, and survive to become the woman I am now. Today, Iām breathing again, and Iāll let the tears fall. Theyāre not a sign of weakness ā theyāre a release.
I made myself smile here.
"I made myself smile here."
When youāre stuck in a toxic environment, you either cave in and fall apart, or you grit your teeth and smile to spite the bastards. I made myself smile that day.
(I literally just had dental work two days ago from all that teethāgritting.)
Visiting San Antonio, October 2014, age 45.
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Self-love Journey In Progress
Emporia, Kansas, 2013. I loved those vintage glasses!
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Uncomfortable Truths About Your Mind
I see her now.
Itās strange looking back. I always thought my face was round and fat, but these photos show it never was. When I was younger, I saw myself through a harsher lens shaped by old comments and insecurities.
Now I can finally see the truth. My face was expressive, soft, full of life, uniquely mine.
I see her now.
Photo taken in 2020