This is the place where I post my fics and writing stuff :)
Don’t have the time currently to write requests, but I’m very open to ideas, so send them anyway!
I write x reader fics unless stated otherwise.
Currently writing for: The Pitt (Jack Abbot, other characters in progress)
AO3
Play by the rules:
- No need to rain on my parade. Don’t like? Don’t read.
- Fanfic should be and stay a labor of love. Don’t put my work into AI.
- Intimacy can be found in other acts than sex. Don’t ask me to write smut.
- Home is where the heart is. Don’t crosspost my fics on other platforms.
- Anonymity on the internet is wonderful, but it should not be a mask to hide behind while spewing hate. Don’t spread hate.
Masterlist
Jack Abbot (The Pitt)
Place your bets - Fluff - 3.2k
Trinity Santos knows her cousin has a partner, but doesn’t know who it is. You have only told her they work in the same ED as she does. To Ahmed’s delight, a new bet has started.
Ways to show you - Fluff, a little angsty - 12.6k
During the aftermath of a shooting, Dr Jack Abbot meets the new fellow in pediatric emergency medicine. While you are drawn to his quiet kindness and intense stares, finishing your fellowship must come first. What happens when you fall despite your best effort to stay away? Fallng in love with Jack Abbot as told through five love languages and one all new.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
as a writer, it’s very important that you know this: whenever you tell yourself “this will only be one-chapter-long” that is a lie. your brain is lying to you. it won’t, in fact, be just a short one-shot
I just discovered there’s a stats page on AO3 and Ways to show you is bookmarked by 26 people. That’s 26 people saying they like it and would read it again 😭😭
For a fic that’s so close to my heart, this feels so amazing. Thank you all for the love!!
Currently working on a wlw Emery Walsh and a wlw Parker Ellis fic, but I would like to write for Jack Abbot again. He’s a great blorbo to put in situations.
I’m probably going to do a prompt request thing soon for Pitt characters, but feel free to send ideas!
( pick a quote + a feeling + a trope ! let’s see what fic you end up with. )
author's addition: this lil build-a-fic is inspired by @scealaiscoite ’ s adorable idea ! her prompt lists are literal perfection. go stalk her blog pls she’s the best ever 🧸 you’re welcome to tweak phrasing as needed, but please don’t add to or rewrite the original post. give credits to @fawndrip / @suprclark if using.
— QUOTE
❛ stop smiling like that. it’s distracting. ❜
❛ you make it really hard to stay just friends. ❜
❛ why does it feel like a goodbye? ❜
❛ you’re blushing. ❜ — ❛ no i’m not. ❜
❛ just friends don’t look at each other like that. ❜
❛ i missed you. that’s all. ❜
❛ you remember the little things. that’s what gets me. ❜
❛ tell me to stay. and i will. ❜
❛ my hand fits so perfectly in yours. it's like i'm made for you. ❜
❛ do you want me to leave? ❜ — ❛ no. i want you to stay forever. ❜
❛ i think i knew it was you. even back then. ❜ — ❛ then stay. ❜ — ❛ but that's the thing. i don't know if i know you anymore. ❜
❛ i don’t know how to stop wanting you. ❜
❛ this means something. don’t pretend it doesn’t. ❜
❛ you’re not just anyone. you’re you. ❜
❛ if we kiss now, everything changes. ❜ — ❛ i know but that's a risk i'm willing to take. ❜
❛ i’ve been in love with you since the night we met. ❜
❛ tell me it meant nothing. lie if you have to. ❜
❛ i was easy to leave, wasn’t i? ❜
❛ you don’t get to miss me now. you lost that right when we broke up. ❜
❛ say something. anything. please. ❜
❛ i loved you. that should’ve been enough. ❜
❛ i wish i didn’t remember everything. ❜
❛ don’t look at me like you still care. ❜
❛ i’m tired of pretending this doesn’t hurt. ❜
❛ you said forever. i believed you. ❜
❛ if you didn’t mean it, why did you say it? ❜
❛ you chose them. you always do. ❜
❛ i don’t hate you. i just wish i’d never met you. ❜
❛ you let me go like i was nothing. ❜
❛ please don’t make this harder than it already is. ❜
❛ are you sure? cause whatever this is it doesn’t feel like love. ❜
❛ it’s always been you. i just didn’t know how to say it. ❜
❛ say that again. i dare you. ❜
❛ you really don’t see it, do you? ❜
❛ i think i like you. like, like like you. ❜
❛ do you always look at people like that? ❜
❛ you make it really hard to think straight. ❜
❛ oh my god. you’re blushing. ❜
❛ this means something. don’t pretend it doesn’t. ❜
❛ i should’ve kissed you when i had the chance. ❜
❛ you’re not helping. you’re being pretty. it's distracting. ❜
❛ you make me nervous in the best way. ❜
❛ every time you look at me, i forget what i was saying. ❜
❛ just admit it. you like me. ❜
❛ if you don’t kiss me right now, i might explode. ❜
❛ you’re dangerously good at that smile. ❜
❛ only one bed ❜
❛ mutual pining ❜
❛ fake dating gone real ❜
❛ friends to lovers ❜
❛ strangers to almosts ❜
❛ found family ❜
❛ rivals with tension ❜
❛ the “oh” moment ❜
❛ confessions at 2am ❜
❛ sunshine x grump ❜
❛ forbidden ❜
❛ hurt / comfort ❜
❛ secretly in love ❜
❛ reunion after years ❜
❛ accidental domesticity ❜
❛ slow burn ❜
❛ “just friends” denial ❜
❛ second chances ❜
❛ love letters never sent ❜
❛ childhood friends ❜
❛ exes ❜
❛ soulmates who don’t believe in fate ❜
❛ enemies on the same side ❜
❛ sleep talking confessions ❜
❛ one falling first, the other falling harder ❜
❛ patching up wounds with shaky hands ❜
❛ “who did this to you?” ❜
❛ dancing in the kitchen ❜
❛ jealousy over nothing ( but also everything ) ❜
❛ late-night phone calls ❜
❛ caught in the rain ❜
❛ almost kissing but someone interrupts ❜
❛ waking up next to them ❜
❛ fixing each other’s tie / collar ❜
❛ taking care of them while they’re sick ❜
• A character almost admits they were wrong and then pivots
• Two people sitting in a car after an argument, engine off, neither leaving
• Someone practicing a speech in the mirror and hating how it sounds
• A character lying for someone they resent
• An inside joke that no longer feels funny
• A public setting where private tension is simmering
• Someone seeing their ex unexpectedly and performing indifference
• A character giving advice they absolutely do not follow
• A confession interrupted by something mundane
• A person rereading old messages they shouldn’t
• A gift that misses the mark completely
• A character realizing they’ve outgrown someone mid-conversation
• Someone saying “It’s fine” and meaning “I will remember this forever”
• A moment where a character notices they are no longer the favorite
• Two people who used to be close struggling to find a topic
If your story feels stuck, it likely needs friction. Not explosions. Just a little pressure.
Ways to Show a Character is Falling in Love and Doesn’t Want To ...
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They notice the sound of their name in that person’s mouth and hate that it sounds better. Like their name was meant to be said that way.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They start to dress better when they might see them, subconsciously at first. “Oh, this old thing?” Sure. The old thing you ironed twice.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ Their laugh becomes a trigger. Not in the trauma sense, in the “I suddenly forgot how to breathe and now I want to die” sense.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ Every conversation feels like walking a tightrope between wanting to tease and wanting to touch.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They say they don’t care, but they’re paying way too much attention. Who they’re talking to. How they’re smiling. Who made them smile.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They avoid them, dramatically, stupidly and it physically hurts. Like withdrawal. They’ll literally hide behind shelves, peek around corners, act like a spy in their own life.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They start saying their name too often. “Oh, yeah, Alex said that too.” “Alex likes that band.” “Alex once...” Shut up, my dude. Please.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They mock them to their friends, but there’s a softness in the way they do it. A little too much affection in the “ugh, they’re so annoying.”
⋆.𐙚 ̊ Their stomach does that thing, you know the one, when they catch their scent on something, and it’s not even strong, just a hint, and suddenly they’re useless for the next ten minutes.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They overthink texts. “Okay, no emojis looks cold. Too many looks desperate. Maybe one. No, zero. Period. Wait, does the period look aggressive?”
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They dream about them, not even romantically, just constantly. Their brain won’t let them rest.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ Their jealousy doesn’t make sense. “Why are you talking to them?” “Because they’re a person.” “Oh, right, cool, yeah, totally fine, no reason, haha.” (proceeds to spiral internally).
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They act colder, on purpose. But it’s performative. The kind of detachment that’s practically begging to be noticed.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They start arguments for no reason. Because fighting feels easier than confessing.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They imagine kissing them during fights. Yes, during. It’s sick. They hate it.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They think about what they’d say if they ever got drunk enough to tell the truth. Then immediately pray that moment never comes.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ Their pulse spikes when their phone buzzes. It’s embarrassing how fast they grab it. And when it’s not them? Oh, the rage.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They watch their every expression. Like a scientist studying a dangerous animal. “What does that smile mean? Are they flirting or just friendly?” They never know. It’s torture.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They make jokes about being heartless. “Me? Love? Gross.” Meanwhile, they’re literally halfway in love already.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They defend them when no one asked. “They’re not that bad.” Bro. No one said they were. Chill.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They keep trying to rationalize it, listing all the reasons it can’t work, all the flaws they can find, like that’ll stop the feeling. It won’t.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They flinch when someone else flirts with them, then pretend they didn’t notice.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They convince themselves the other person doesn’t feel the same, because that’s safer than hoping.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ Their denial becomes its own obsession. “It’s not like that.” “It’s nothing.” “I don’t even like them.” Said for the fiftieth time this week.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ They get defensive when someone points it out. “Me? Them? You’re insane.” They’re not.
"Come on, this isn't funny." "I'm not joking. It's locked."
"Is that the only tent we have?"
"There's only one bed." "Well, darlin', I'm not sleeping on the floor, so I guess we'll have to share."
"I'm your bodyguard. It's in the job description to protect you at all times." "Well, could you at least 'protect' me from over there?"
"You have got to be kidding me. I have to share a room with you."
"What do you mean there's only one sleeping bag? You had one job."
"Quit following me!" "I was hired to follow you, princess, better get used to it."
"What the hell is that noise?" "Uh, yeah, slight problem. We're out of gas."
"Where are you going? We're in the middle of nowhere!" "Yeah! And whose fault is that?"
"Look around, love. In case you hadn't noticed we're snowed in. So unless you plan to freeze to death, we'll have to find a way to keep each other warm."
"I may be stuck with you, but I don't have to like it."
"Is now a bad time to tell you I'm claustrophobic?"
"Your heart's racing. Now, I know being pressed up against me is exhilerating and all, but I'm trying to concentrate on picking this lock."
"What are you? Afraid?"
"Uh. Slight problem. We're trapped."
"Well, which way, smartass?" "Uh. We might be lost."
Summary: During the aftermath of a shooting, Dr Jack Abbot meets the new fellow in pediatric emergency medicine. While you are drawn to his quiet kindness and intense stares, finishing your fellowship must come first. What happens when you fall despite your best effort to stay away? Falling in love with Jack Abbot as told through five love languages and one all new.
Pairing: Jack Abbot x f!reader
Words: 12.6k
Notes/content: Fluff, Light angst, Medical procedures, Medical inaccuracies (still not a doctor), Reader is a pediatric emergency fellow (this means kids get harmed and healed in this fic), Shameless flirting, Love languages, 5+1 fic, Slow romance, Slow burn, Major character injury (the injury is not that bad though!)
A/N: Soooo…. The response to my last fic was enormous and I did not expect that. I will never know why my first fic blew up like that, but thank you all for reading and interacting! It’s making my phone blow up and I appreciate every single comment, kudo, like and reblog. You make this first-time fic writer want to keep writing :) Have a not-so-little one-shot as a thank you and please come cry in the comments with me!
Link to AO3
Today was the day.
You were starting your new job as a fellow physician in Pittsburgh.
Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center to be precise.
You had just finished your residency in emergency medicine in Boston when you applied for the fellowship in pediatric emergency medicine, knowing you would probably be under-qualified. Fellowships were for kid-wonders and people with a ton of research experience under their belt.
But you applied despite the little voice in your head, thinking that if you shoot for the moon and miss, you would at least land among the stars.
The application process had been hell. You wrote endless amounts of essays, on your career starting as a volunteer at the EMS to entering medical school, and were interviewed multiple times by the Chief of Medicine and Chair of Pediatrics. You even had to work a shift supervised the Chair of Pediatrics to see how you held up.
You had worked your ass off from the moment you wrote that application letter.
And, to your surprise, it payed off.
Because you were now standing in the administration’s office, picking up your new employee badge and ready to start your two year fellowship.
“Alright, sign here and here please.” Clara, the management assistant, handed you the form. You quickly signed the paper and handed it back to her. She inspected the form through the reading glasses sitting at the tip of her nose.
“That looks good. Here’s your badge.”
“Thank you!” You were thrilled to receive the little plastic cards on the badge reel. Your picture shined in the fluorescent light of the office.
“You’re expected in the pediatrics ward in fifteen minutes. Do you know where to go?”
“I do.” You nodded.
“In that case, here’s your locker code and you can get your scrubs from the machine next to the lockers. Have a good first day, sweetheart.”
“Thank you again. Have a nice day, Clara!” Clara watched as you practically skipped through the door toward pediatrics.
***
Words of affirmation
The morning went by smoothly. You quickly found your locker and changed into the black scrubs of the emergency doctors. After a quick meeting with the charge nurse Patty, the department Chair, Dr Brandon James, took you for a tour of the floor.
“Although you will likely spend less time here than in the emergency department.” Dr James deep voice rumbled, reminding you of a grandfather telling bedtime stories. It calmed your first-day nerves immediately.
“Why is that? I’m sorry, my last hospital worked a little different.”
“Fellows and subspecialists are the glue between departments in this hospital. You will be learning under and assisting attending doctors of both departments. In pediatrics you will, however, not focus on doing rounds or triage by yourself. You will lead them and teach residents and students during your treatments.” He stopped at a room where a resident was talking to a 5-year-old patient and their parents.
“You will be doing similar work to an attending. Meaning, during your fellowship, you will make sure to be available to jump into a trauma bay at a moment’s notice and take charge of the room.” Dr James looked at you. “All rooms and cabinets are arranged the same throughout the hospital. It will be better to get the lay of the land here than in the ED.”
“Thank you, I’ll get started right away.” You moved to an empty room and started to look through the cabinets.
That afternoon Patty quizzed you on the basics you would need for examinations and surgeries. You aced every single question.
“Okay kid, I think you’re ready to go down to the ED!” She put her hands together and waved you off to the elevator.
“Thanks for the help!” You yelled through the closing elevator doors.
“Any time, darling!”
The doors opened and it felt like you were hit by a brick.
The calm of the pediatrics department was gone and instead you landed in what felt like an exploding minefield.
There were people constantly moving about. Some were yelling near gurneys, some were walking at a brisk pace bordering on a run, while others were working at the nurses’ station like they could not hear the noise. You supposed exposure therapy was a way to learn to shut out the sounds of the ED.
There was a blonde nurse in grey scrubs walking toward you.
“You must be our new pediatric emergency fellow. I’m Dana, one of the charge nurses of this ED.” She held out her hand.
“Nice to meet you.” You told her your name as you shook her hand when a man with a beard walked toward you.
“And I’m Dr Robinavitch, attending here. Call me Robby. Welcome to the Pitt.” He showed a welcoming smile, hands in the pockets of his hoodie. He pointed behind him. “Want a tour?”
“Yes, please.” If Dr Robby was to be your attending in the ED, you were sure you would learn a lot.
“What has Dr James told you already?”
“Mostly my tasks in the pediatrics ward. He did not want to presume about my tasks in the ED.”
“Good. We haven’t had a pediatrics emergency fellow in ages, but we give a lot of responsibility to our colleagues following educational programs. They do check their cases with attendings, but they will mostly handle their patients themselves. Students as well after their first few weeks.” He grabbed an iPad and started showing you different patient charts written by students and residents.
“We prioritize who gets which patient. Students will never get a trauma case as their patient, but will on occasion assist senior residents during procedures and fellows during more specialized care. Attendings take the lead on more severe cases and supervise during others.” Robby continued. “I just mostly sign charts.”
You laughed a little. It amazed you how much trust they placed in their colleagues and how much learning on the floor was happening in such a stressful environment. It didn’t feel like the sink-or-swim mentality your last hospital had adopted in their ED. This felt like someone had actually taken the time to structure the system.
“For you, that means leading specialized procedures, advising the attendings, and supervising cases within your specialty. The residents will come to you first when handling minor cases.”
“That sounds exactly like what I signed up for.” You smiled at him.
“Good. But don’t forget you’re here to learn as well. We won’t forget to pull you in the trauma bay when you’re needed.” He put the iPad back in the rack and nodded toward the nurses’ station. “Nurses run the place here from the hub. If there is anything you ever need or can’t find, don’t hesitate to ask them. Take their advice to heart. They see more than we do.”
You were completing your tour of the north and central rooms when you ended up near the hub.
“Have you heard about the night shift attending? I heard he lost his leg.”
The comment shocked you. It was thrown around carelessly without regard for the effect of the words or who might hear.
You looked at the rude resident.
She had short dark hair and a permanent smug look on her face. A man stood next to her who looked like he could fall over if you looked at him wrong. Luckily, Robby had told you about the team already.
“You must be Dr Santos. I’ve heard a lot about you.” You held out your hand and introduced yourself as the new fellow.
“Only positive things, I’m sure. I’m Trinity.”
“I hope you know a sense of team spirit is appreciated in an emergency room. It might save someone’s life when a team works well together.” You gave her a gentle smile and the knowing look your siblings feared. They always tried to do better after that.
Santos pursed her lips and looked away, not unlike your younger sister when she was caught doing something she knew she shouldn’t.
“Best moment to start is now.” You told her. “And I have. Heard good things about you, I mean.”
That pulled a small satisfied smile from her.
You turned to the man standing behind Santos. He looked like he was waiting for the gallows.
“Dr Whitaker, I assume?”
He jumped slightly at the mention of his name. “Student doctor actually. I’m in my last year of med school.”
“Nice! Do you already know where you might do your residency?” You could see the tension in his shoulders ease.
“I am still doing my rotations, but I like the idea of emergency medicine.”
“Then I hope you’ll have a wonderful time here.”
The red phone on the counter rang.
Dana moved to pick it up. When she put the horn down, she had a severe look on her face.
You knew the red phones in hospitals were for 911 calls and traumatic events. You took a deep breath, tried to find the last peaceful moment before the inevitable rush of patients.
Dana immediately went to find Robby, her pace a little faster than you’ve seen before.
“There’s been a shooting.”
You had walked out of the trauma bay to double check the location of your supplies, when you saw a man in scrubs putting a stethoscope around his neck. You hadn’t seen him before.
Robby hugged the man. “Brother, I am so fucking glad to see you.”
“I heard it on the police scanner. How many are we expecting?” His voice sounded a little raspy, as if he had just woken up.
“First reports are at least fifty wounded. Various levels.”
“We best get ready then. Where do you want me?”
“On red with our fellow and I. McKay and Mohan will be on orange. King, Santos and the students are on yellow. Shen and Ellis will handle triage. We are still trying to reach Collins.” The man nodded at Robby’s instructions. Robby saw you bending over a stray cart and nodded toward you. “That’s her.”
“The new pediatric emergency fellow?”
“Yeah, she came highly recommended. Has been mentally mapping the entire ED this afternoon.” Robby said, amused by the coincidence of having you focus on the physical things you needed to save lives. He couldn’t believe his luck.
“Good thinking. It will serve her well in the next few hours. Most newbies start with the digital stuff.”
You heard footsteps coming toward you. You turned around to see the mystery man walking toward you. It was nearly impossible to see, but he favored his left leg slightly.
You remembered Santos’ comment about the night shift attending. This must be him.
“Dr Abbot, I’m assuming?” You shook hands with him and introduced yourself.
“Nice to meet you. I hear you’re also in the red zone.” He assessed you with a slight tilt to his head. You felt like he could read you like an open book. It was a little unsettling.
“I am.”
“You ready for it?”
“Are we ever, really?” You tried to joke. The corner of his mouth twitched upward.
“Your experience at the EMS and your residency will get you through the worst of it.” He patted your shoulder. You eased a little and nodded your thanks before he walked away.
As he left, you realized you had not told anyone about your time at the EMS.
The following hours were chaos.
You ran from patient to patient, treating them as best you could. Their age was irrelevant to you. Only their injuries mattered now. They needed help and you would do everything in your power to save them.
You had just stopped a young woman from bleeding out, placing a balloon in her artery, when you heard Dr Abbot yell over his shoulder.
“I need an extra set of hands here!”
You nodded to Jesse, the nurse who had been helping you stop the bleeding, and ran toward the noise. He would make sure your patient made it to the OR.
Abbot had just started giving air to a teen when she started bleeding again. You grabbed the bag from him and held it over the kid’s nose. Donnie ran over with a unit of blood, started the transfer and squeezed the blood bag.
“She needs a tube.” Abbot looked at you and nodded at the laryngoscope while he tried to stop the bleeding from the teen’s upper leg.
You grabbed it, together with a thin tube, and held it in the patient’s mouth.
The batteries were empty. You couldn’t see a thing.
“Do we have another?”
“This one’s empty too.” You heard Mohan yell.
“I guess we’re doing this blind.” You grabbed the tube, pushed the tongue out and down, and slowly eased the tube into the her throat past the vocal cords.
Once you were in, you unhooked the bag from the mask, onto the tube and started giving air again.
You saw Abbot applied a tourniquet above the wound and was now staring at you.
“Let’s get her to surgery.”
After the chaos had slowed down, you sat on a stool at the hub, taking the past few hours in.
Images of patients were flashing like lightning through your mind and you knew you only needed a quiet moment to close your eyes and a few deep breaths to slow down your racing thoughts.
You closed your eyes and took the first.
“You did well today.”
You opened your eyes to find Abbot standing in front of you.
“You as well. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone place a tourniquet so fast.”
He chuckled a little. “I’ve never seen a newly graduated fellow perform an intubation blind.”
“Well, today was full of surprises.” The corner of your mouth lifted.
“It certainly was.” He mirrored your exhausted but satisfied smile.
“I mean it though. You were amazing today. Well done.” The silence and intensity of his stare was strangely comforting. You could feel the storm behind your eyes quiet.
“Thanks, Dr Abbot.”
You heard Robby calling his name.
“Call me Jack. I think we’ve earned a first name basis after today.” He put his hands in the pockets of his scrubs as he walked away.
You took him in for a moment. He favored his left leg more heavily now. No doubt he was at least as exhausted as you were. You made a mental note to gently offer him a chair the next time you talked.
His shoulders were also broader than you initially noticed.
Your face flushed and you shook your head.
It was inappropriate to think that of your attending.
***
Gift giving
It had been a few months since you started your fellowship and you knew the rhythm of the Pitt now.
So well, in fact, that a few weeks ago Dr James suggested that it might be good to pick up a few night shifts. To get a feeling for the types of cases that came in during the dark hours, he said. While your current sleep deprived head protested at his suggestion, you could see that he was right.
Days mostly brought kids that were doing something stupid while their parents’ backs were turned. You had seen LEGO bricks in noses, cuts on knees, even a severe case of a toddler that discovered the cleaning supplies.
The nights, however, were very different.
While you did see the occasional LEGO brick, there were also cases of kids grabbing their parents’ THC gummies and vodka bottles or being brought in with high fevers, parents scared to go to sleep and wake up to find their baby too far gone to be saved.
This particular night had been slow.
You were finishing a chart on a 7-year-old whose little brother thought it would be fun to pour water down his throat while he was sleeping.
He was coughing so badly and it took you half an hour to help him get the last of the water out of his lungs.
You ended up placing a chest tube to drain the last of the fluid, but he would make it home after observation with only a sore throat and a few stitches in his side.
A yawn escaped your mouth and you blinked the tears away.
“Tired?” You saw Shen leaning over the half wall of the hub, sipping his iced coffee.
“A little.”
“Want some coffee?” He gestured with his straw to the break room.
“And get poisoned by that abomination in the break room? No, thank you.” You had no idea how anyone drank that stuff, although Ellis seemed to sing its praises. You supposed she was too busy to notice the taste most times.
A few nights ago, you discovered a decent coffee machine in the ICU, but your coffee always got cold before you could drink it. Perks of emergency medicine you guessed. You now knew why Shen only drank it iced.
“We should go to the cafeteria. Get the good stuff.” Shen leaned in and lowered his voice to a whisper. “I hear they use actual beans now. None of that instant or pre-grounded crap.”
“Thanks, but the cafeteria is too far and I really should finish this chart first.” You leaned your head on your hand in defeat.
“Suit yourself. You know where to find me and my good coffee.” He pushed off the wall and moved to sit with Ellis.
“I will, John.” Shen stuck out his tongue at you. He hated his first name.
The emergency door was thrown open. You ran to the gurney and yelled for Shen to join you in the trauma bay.
An hour later, you tore off your PPE gown.
The patient was stable now and would thankfully make a full recovery.
You made a promise to yourself to never touch LEGO bricks again.
The tiredness in your limbs was unbearable. The thought of a stool waiting for you at the hub was the only thing keeping you upright.
You slumped down and noticed a cardboard cup on your desk.
Heavenly smells of caramel, nuts and pure bliss filled your nose.
You grabbed the cup with a small hint of reverence.
It was still warm.
While lifting the container, you noticed a yellow post it underneath.
To help you stay awake. -J.
You frowned.
Shen had been there in the trauma bay with you. How could he have gotten you coffee?
Abbot chose that moment to walk past the hub to one of the beds in north.
Something in your overly tired brain clicked.
The ‘J’ that got you the coffee was not the attending that was operating with you, but the one outside the bay that somehow always knew how you were feeling during shifts.
You hugged the warm cup with both hands and took a sip.
It tasted even better than you imagined.
There was just the right amount of milk in it, no sugar. It was just the way you like it.
You pressed your lips together to hold back a moan and closed your eyes for a moment to savor the taste fully.
With a sigh, you took another slow sip and went to find the giver of the gift.
You found him leaning against a wall, looking at an x-ray on the iPad in his hand.
“Thank you for the coffee.” You said as you leaned next to him, the cup still warm in your hand.
“Don’t mention it. Can’t have my best fellow physician falling asleep on shift.” He kept looking at the x-ray.
“I agree that would not help the patient satisfaction score.” You laughed a little. “Thank you again. Where did you get it?”
Abbot looked up from the screen.
“I can’t tell, or my secret spot will be discovered.” He smirked.
“Please? This is the first decent cup I’ve had in weeks.” You pleaded with him.
He shook his head, making a sound that almost sounded like a laugh.
“Depends on what you offer in return.” His eyes met yours again and you felt something warm in your chest.
That did not feel like it was coming from the coffee.
You bit back a smile. “What do you suggest?” You challenge him to name the thought in his gaze.
Jack’s eyes flickered down to your lips and back to your eyes.
You found yourself leaning in just a fraction of an inch.
SLUUUUURP
“Are you two okay?” Shen walked by, one eyebrow raised while sipping his nearly empty coffee through a straw.
You cleared your throat and quickly turned toward Shen. You could see Jack do the same.
“Yep, what’s up?” You smiled up at him as if nothing happened. If only your stupid heart would slow down. You were pretty sure Shen could hear its rapid pace.
“I need a hand.” Shen pointed his thumb toward the supply closet.
“Okay, coming.” You pushed off the wall and followed Shen, leaving the other attending behind. You were definitely not fleeing from whatever had been happening before, but you felt satisfied as you noticed Abbot looking at you as you walked away.
You took another sip of your coffee.
It somehow tasted even better now.
***
Physical touch
After what you had now dubbed the ‘gift from the heavens’, you started noticing Abbot more during your shifts.
During rounds, you could feel him checking on patients in the beds next to your patients; during surgeries, your hands would touch handing tools over an open chest cavity; during the moments in between, he would always find something to ask your opinion on.
You also found more cups of the perfect coffee on your desk whenever you started feeling tired.
It was during a particular hard conversation with a patient’s parents that you appreciated him the most. He was standing right behind you as you told the parents what had happened to their little girl.
You could not see Abbot, but did feel his warmth. Comforting and supporting you from a distance, standing at the ready if the conversation went sideways.
That was the strength of his mentoring, you supposed. He let you make your own decisions, only discussing corrections in private if needed. You rarely heard them leave his mouth but he did initiate small conversations in private, albeit about different topics.
You were there for him in different ways too.
A few weeks ago, a veteran had come in. He was a victim from a car crash. Drunk driver, you heard the paramedic say.
It was a quiet moment for pediatric emergency cases, so you joined him to help stabilize the patient.
When Bridget cut his clothes, Abbot saw his patient’s tags. You could feel the energy in the room shift to a razor sharp focus.
In the end, the patient did not make it.
A fractured pelvis and severe internal bleeding. A miracle would not have been enough to save him.
After the surgery, Abbot was standing frozen in the trauma bay, looking at the body. Everyone had already left the room.
You moved to stand beside him and brushed your fingers against his. Only after he answered with a brush of his against yours, did you grab his hand to comfort him.
You stood there in silence for a while, letting your thumb draw slow circles on the back of his hand.
When he started to move again, he methodically peeled off his gloves and the PPE gown, moved toward the door and you lost him for a moment.
He came back with a letter in his hands that he laid in the viewing room.
He walked past your desk and you grabbed his hand to give it a quick squeeze. No words were spoken, but there was an understanding between you.
There had been and would always be hard moments in this line of work. The only way to go on was to honor the person that was in your care, convince yourself you did everything you could and lean on those around you.
Later that night in an empty exam room, you had asked what he needed in those difficult moments.
He avoided your eyes and sighed like he did not want to answer.
You simply stood there waiting for him to speak.
Finally, he took a defeated breath as he took your hand.
“Exactly what you gave me. Some time and a steady hand to hold.”
A few weeks later you had a busy shift, but you were going home.
There was a warm bed and a hot shower waiting for you. You could not wait to lie down and lose yourself to sleep.
After you had handled the handover with Robby and Collins, you were getting your bag out of your locker.
While you were rummaging around for your lip balm, you felt a hand on your waist and jumped a little.
“Sorry, need to grab something quick.” You heard the tired voice of your favorite attending in your ear.
The hairs on your neck raised and suddenly your cheeks felt very warm.
He reached over your shoulder to the right to grab his keys out of his locker. His chest touched your back at the movement. When he pulled his arm back, his hand lingered on your waist.
“Thanks.” His fingers slipped away agonizingly slow.
“No problem.” You replied, a little out of breath and already missing the touch.
You walked out of the hospital wide awake.
“Shit!”
There was a stubborn pack of gloves at the end of the supply closet that you needed and it kept sliding out of reach.
Bridget mentioned the gloves in one of the trauma bays needed restocking and you told her you would get them. You were only catching up on charting and she had enough on her plate.
She had, however, failed to mention the gloves were impossible to reach.
You had grabbed a chair in the hopes you could reach it, but even when you stood on your toes, you could only touch the box with your fingertips. With an annoyed huff, you lowered yourself.
“You alright in there?” You heard Abbot behind you.
“Yep, I just need to reach these stupid gloves.” You stood on your toes again in another attempt.
You felt the chair slip away before you could register why the world was suddenly spinning.
Abbot moved forward. His arm circled around you as he twisted you both to slow your momentum.
You grabbed his arms to steady yourself. You looked up at him with wide eyes, still a little out of breath from the fall.
Once the initial shock passed, you realized your face was close to his.
Very close.
Your heart thundered in your ears and you could feel his breath on your face.
“Are you okay?” He asked, his eyes searching frantically for a hint of pain in yours.
“I’m okay.” You breathed in.
Your voice sounded wrong. You cleared your throat and repeated yourself.
He smelled like the coffee he kept giving to you, mixed with the antiseptic smell of the Pitt and something that reminded you of the pine trees near your childhood home.
Jack slowly pulled you upright and you found your footing again.
“Are you sure?” The fingers at your waist flexed a little.
His face was still so close. You could see little gold flecks in his irises and barely-there freckles across his nose.
“I’m sure. I’m okay.” You lied. Your hands were still on his arms and you were afraid you were going to fall again the moment he stepped away. Now you knew how baby deer felt walking the first time.
Neither of you moved away.
Your eyes lowered to his lips. They were slightly parted.
What would it feel like to…
Jack softly called out your name.
“Yes?” You looked into his eyes again.
“What did you need from the supply closet?”
Your bubble burst and reality hit you like a freight train.
You jumped back, out of his arms.
“I needed a box of gloves at the back of that shelf.” You stammered, folding your arms across your chest. You tried to look everywhere but at him.
You felt your heart beat fast in your chest and your breath becoming shallow.
It felt like you were on fire.
“I’m sorry, I have to go.”
You raced out of the room without waiting for a goodbye.
Abbot called after you, but you ducked into the bathroom and locked yourself in.
Leaning against the door, you tried to calm yourself.
This was not supposed to happen.
Yes, you had gotten close to him over the last six months during night shifts, but that was no excuse.
Getting lost in your mentor’s eyes, finding comfort in his touch and embarrassing yourself like that was not what a serious physician on a fellowship was supposed to do.
It was crossing a line you never intended to cross again.
With a hand on your chest and a few slow deep breaths, you made a decision.
This had to end.
The next morning, Robby received a request from you to be transferred to the day shift.
***
Acts of service
Robby had allowed you to return to the day shifts as soon as you put in your request. He did, however, have a million questions going through his head when he saw you on your first day back.
“Can I ask why you want to transfer? You don’t have to answer if you want to, but I want to prevent whatever it was from happening again. You need to feel comfortable returning to the night shift if your fellowship calls for it.”
“There was no particular reason. I started missing the day shifts.”
You could see that your answer did not satisfy him, but he mercifully stopped asking. And if you avoided his eyes after that, that was none of his business.
From that moment, you avoided Dr Abbot, suddenly remembering you left something on the other side of the Pitt whenever you saw him walk in, and you handled your handovers with Ellis and Shen.
“I can’t believe you left us for the photosynthesis people.” Shen sighed. He took a sip from his emotional support coffee.
“What he’s trying to say is that we miss you and wish to see you soon at the night shift again.” Ellis elaborated.
“Yes, we need you back on the side of the vampires. Join the night!”
“I miss you too, but I need equal experience in both day and night shifts. It was time to go back.”
“Bullshit.” Shen pouted.
“Shen! We talked about this. No bullying the fellow when you want to recruit her.” Ellis reprimanded.
You smiled at the easy banter.
You truly missed them, but it was for the best. You had worked so hard for your career and were already past the halfway point of your fellowship. You could not throw it away for an unrequited crush on a superior.
“You do realize I need to put in equal time in day and night shifts and have just started my next six months in the day shift?”
Shen’s eyes widened at your comment. “Does that mean you’re coming back?”
“I have to eventually.” The smile on his face grew wide.
“We’ll have the best coffee you can imagine waiting on you when you do.” He assured you.
The smell and feeling of a particular cardboard cup entered your mind.
You had still not found the machine that could replace those containers of happiness in the night.
“You better.” You smiled.
A month after your transfer you were cornered by the last physician you wanted to see.
“How have you been?” Dr Abbot asked while you were putting your bag in your locker.
“Pretty well, it’s been good to see the sun again. And you?” You forced yourself to keep your focus on getting your badge out of your bag.
“Well. Nights have been different without you though.”
“Let me guess, less banter and more actual medicine going on?” You tried to pull a laugh from him.
“Quieter for sure, yes.” He notes, not even hinting at a smile.
You got your badge out of your bag and closed your locker.
“Why did you leave?” The soft tone of his voice caught you off guard. You took a steadying breath.
“I need to split my time between day and night shifts. It’s only fair that I keep up with all kinds of cases. There’s no other reason. It was time.”
Dr Abbot nodded at your words.
“Very well. Have a nice shift then.”
“Thank you. Drive home safe.” His gaze lingered before he turned around to leave for home.
That tray had come out of nowhere.
You were in the pediatric department for the end of the day. Robby had sent you up to discuss aftercare for a few patients that had come through the last few days.
“And let them open up more beds!” He yelled before the elevator doors closed.
While you were talking to Dr James about the newest addition to the ward, said 4-year-old started crying loudly.
You immediately stood up and went to check on your patient. The room looked like a bomb had exploded. Drawers were pulled open, their contents strewn about the floor, a pile of blankets next to the bed and you were pretty sure that was crayon on the wall.
“Hey there Eve, are you doing okay?” You asked in a soothing voice to the child standing on the bed.
Eve started crying louder.
“I WANT HOME!”
You turned around and gestured at your colleague Nina to get the parents. With a tentative step, you entered the room and closed the door behind you.
“I can see you’re upset that you are not home. You can go home soon. Only one more night.”
“I WANT HOME NOW.” Eve screamed at the top of her lungs.
“It’s okay to be upset. I get upset sometimes too. Let’s stomp our feet instead, okay?”
“NO! I WANT MOMMY!”
You looked around the room, trying to find something to distract her. “Can you help me count the apples on the wall?”
“NO!” She picked up a tray from the cabinet next to her bed. How had that end up there? The cabinets were supposed to be locked.
Before you could find the answer, the metal tray hit you on the side of your head and you went down.
Nina burst into the room with the parents. The parents hugged their child to keep them still and Nina helped you up.
“Let’s get you to the ED.”
“I don’t need-”
“You do. You’re bleeding.”
A moment later you were sitting in an exam room in the Pitt and looked at the clock. It was after eight in the evening. The night shift had started.
“Hello again, missed me?” Shen walked into the exam room. You breathed out and relaxed your shoulders. Exactly the attending you wanted to see.
“So much that I needed to get injured.” You held a wad of gauze to the side of your head.
“Alright, let’s see that wound.” Shen placed his hand on yours and slowly moved the gauze away.
He let out a slow whistle. “That’s a nasty cut, but fortunately, the bleeding has almost stopped. You will only need a few stitches and a CT.”
You groaned.
“You know it’s hospital protocol. Can’t have you treating patients tomorrow with a concussion.”
“Fine.” You huffed.
“Keep that gauze pressed there. I’ll be right back with a suture kit and some lido to ease the pain.” Shen rushed out the room.
You closed your eyes and lied back on the bed.
Your head was throbbing.
Shen needed to hurry up with giving you that lido.
“What happened?” Dr Abbot stood in the doorway.
“A four-year-old threw a tantrum. Unfortunately for me, the metal tray she threw won.”
He rushed to your side.
“Let me look.” He already had his penlight in his hand to check your pupils and moved to take the gauze from you.
“Shen’s working on it.”
“Shen can take another patient. Show me.” He insisted.
You moved your hand away from the cut. His mouth formed a line.
“Bleeding has stopped. You’ll need stitches. Has he ordered a CT?”
“He was working on it.”
Shen chose that moment to enter with the suture kit and medication. Abbot grabbed it out of his hands.
“I’ll order that CT now.” Stunned, Shen took a step back and moved away while Abbot filled a syringe with the painkiller.
You felt yourself relax a minute later. The pain was gone for now.
“Tell me if it stings.” You nodded before he started rinsing your cut with saline.
His touch was gentle but sure. Practiced.
“How’s your head?”
“Much better now. No obvious sign of concussion or pain.”
“Good.” He opened the suture kit, moved your head to the side, and started stitching the the cut closed.
You felt the thread pull a little, but, other than a little social discomfort, you were fine.
Although the position was a bit awkward. You were facing his chest with your head nearly touching his lap.
The scent of antiseptic and pine filled your nose again and you started to feel a little lightheaded.
“All done.” He said all too soon. He moved away from your head and you tried to sit upright again. His hand pushed your shoulder until your back hit the bed.
“You might want to lie down for a while. You could get lightheaded if you stand up too fast.” He told you in the serious tone you recognized as his doctor voice.
You almost scoffed. As if you weren’t feeling lightheaded already. Although, your injuries had nothing to do with that feeling.
Your eyes followed Jack around the room as he cleaned up. He seemed to be taking his time, starting to wipe down the surfaces. You knew most times the nurses helping during the procedure would reset the room for the next patient.
He was avoiding something.
“Are you okay?” You saw him freeze for a moment. His shoulders moved in time with his breathing.
“Just thinking.” He continued to wipe down the surfaces.
“About?” You softened your voice and could see the circles he was making with the disinfectant cloth slow down and come to a stop. He lifted his head and looked into your eyes.
“What happened? Why did you change shifts?” The set of his jaw indicated he wanted answers.
“You shouldn’t ask that.” You sighed as you held your hands together on your lap, hoping they could act as a shield.
“Why not? You left sooner than the schedules could change. Something must have happened for you to change shifts overnight.” There was an edge to his voice, some kind of anger at an unknown reason he could not wrap his head around.
“It doesn’t matter what happened. My fellowship must come first.” You set your jaw, hoping he would not see the words that threatened to spill if he continued to ask you about that night.
He continued staring into your eyes, waiting for a confirmation that was not coming. Eventually, he gave up and stood up to walk to the door.
When he reached the doorknob, you said his name.
He looked at you over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry I can’t tell you now. My future must come first. At all costs.” You tried to keep your voice steady.
He nodded at the words and disappeared.
You laid your head back against the bed before you felt a tear slide down your cheek.
The weeks after that day, Jack avoided you as much as you used to avoid him in the first weeks back on the day shift.
His handovers were handled by Robby, he walked the other way when he noticed you in the hallway and stopped picking up day shifts at random moments.
Ellis and Shen were still trying to recruit you to the night shift, stating that they needed some sunshine in the Pitt at night.
“I’m telling you, Abbot is more severe than usual.” Shen sighs. You looked at Ellis. She tilted her head to the side.
“He’s snappier than usual, for sure. Something must have happened.”
You gave them a soft smile. “Two more months, guys. Then I’m all yours again.”
“And they’re going to be two very long months if he keeps this up.” Shen rolled his eyes and huffed.
“Which will make your return all the sweeter, sunshine!” Ellis exclaimed.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m amazing. Now go home before I kick you out or keep you working a double shift.”
“Time to go! See you, sunshine!” Shen pushed off the counter and ran toward the doors.
“We’ll see you tonight. Have a good shift, sunshine!” Ellis saluted you. You supposed you had a new nickname.
“Looking forward to tonight?” You asked Robby. He was standing near the board talking with Dana.
“I sure am. It’s going to be wonderful. Just me, the road and an endless horizon.” Robby made a gesture with his hands.
“He’ll be coming back a changed man.” Dana smiled at you and turned to Robby. “You deserve it. It has been too long since you took a break.” She patted him on the arm and she walked away.
“It’s good you are taking some time away. Reset a little.”
“That’s the plan.” He said wistfully.
“Robby?”
“Yes, my favorite pediatric emergency medicine fellow?”
You laughed a little. “I’m your only pediatric emergency medicine fellow.” He smiled at you.
“Are you going to be alright?” You asked after a silent moment.
“Of course. I’ll be back before you know it.” He grabbed you by your shoulder and gave you a quick side hug.
“Good. Because I’m expecting you to hand over that certificate with the biggest smile on your face the moment I get certified.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Sunshine! What’s your sign?” You heard Santos from across the Pitt.
“Why are you asking me what my sign is?” You reached Whitaker and Santos huddled behind one desk.
“I’ve been teaching Huckleberry how to read charts.”
“Medical charts? I’m pretty sure he already knows how to read those. Haven’t you heard? He’s an MD now.” You winked at Whitaker, earning a proud smile.
Santos rolled her eyes. “I know, he won’t shut up about it. But no, I mean star charts. So, spill.”
You told them and Santos tried to make Whitaker tell you key points of your personality. You could hear Javadi hold back a laugh at one description.
“Want to add something, Crash?”
“According to her star sign, she won’t be compatible with a loud and bright person, like a Leo. She’s much better suited to someone who is like the calm after a storm.” Javadi stated. She turned toward you. “Look for someone with a water and earth combination in their sun, moon and/or rising signs.”
“And that’s why Javadi is the influencer among us.” The comment earned Santos an annoyed look from Javadi.
“Any suggestions on how to find them?” You asked, skeptical of the whole astrology thing.
“No need. You’ll find them when you least expect it.”
“Okay, that sounds both vague and optimistic.” You laughed a little. “Have you heard back from the listing yet?”
“Not yet. But I’m sure I’ll find something else if this apartment falls through.”
You put a hand on her arm. “I’m sure you will. I’ll keep my eyes open.”
“Thanks!” Her mouth stretched into a big smile and she returned to her charts.
You leaned toward Santos and Whitaker. “Have you met the new chief attending yet?”
Santos’s eyes started to shine. She loved gossip. Listening to Princess’ and Perla’s conversations were a highlight of her day.
“Yes, she seems thorough.” Whitaker said after thinking for a moment.
“That sounds almost like an insult coming from you, Dennis. What happened? Are you already becoming jaded?” You teased him.
“No, she just has a lot of ideas about changing the ER.”
“I will be happy when Dr Robby returns from his roadtrip.” Santos stated.
You raised your eyebrows at her. “Very maturely put.”
“I try.” She shrugged.
Whitaker nudged her. “Come on, we should finish our rounds before Dr Al gets here.”
Santos sighed. “Fine.”
The day did not slow down after that. From the moment you heard about the cyber attack, the normal level of the Pitt’s chaos grew to a crescendo.
Tests were missing, charts were scattered and you’re pretty sure everyone forgot to eat.
You slipped Whitaker a granola bar when he passed you in the hallway. The first thing he always forgot in increased chaos was eat.
You took over a patient from Santos so she could spend a little longer on her charts, handed a much needed coffee to the newly-returned Langdon and gave a fidget toy to a nervous Mel.
You tried to keep the ED together as well as you could.
Mentally, at least. This morning had been hard on everyone.
You had lost Louis.
The man had been a source of joy for everyone with his easy smiles and quick jokes. He had been so in tune with all that happened in the Pitt. He asked you if it was time for you to go home the moment he saw your face the day after Jack had caught you in the supply closet.
You would miss him so much.
The afternoon did not start well either. At least, for you.
At one in the afternoon, a police officer was brought in and you were pulled into the fray. The gurney came in, and you moved next to the patient in the direction of the trauma bay on autopilot.
“Excuse me.” You tried to take over and pushed the hands of the patient’s partner away from the bag without looking at him. Robby stifled a laugh. You looked up and saw familiar dark and grey curls.
“Abbot.” You tried not to sound surprised, but were failing spectacularly. You had not recognized him in his SWAT gear.
“Nice to see you as well.” Jack could not hide his smirk as you took him in.
“We’re good, sunshine. Keep an eye on any other people coming in.” Robby told you and they disappeared into the trauma bay.
It was half an hour later when you could finally find a moment alone after you embarrassed yourself in front of your attendings and ducked into an exam room.
You turned around to lean against the door. A breath filled your lungs and you opened your eyes to find the room was not, in fact, unoccupied.
Jack was sitting on the bed shirtless with his T-shirt in his hands.
Heat rose to your cheeks.
“I-I’m sorry. I thought this room was empty.” You said, shaking your head.
“It’s alright. It used to be.” A corner of his mouth quirked up.
You noticed the gauze and bandages next to him.
“What happened to you?”
Jack started grabbing pieces of tape with a concentrated look, avoiding your eyes.
“A bullet grazed my vest.” He noted as he pulled more pieces off the roll.
“You were shot?! Where?” You moved closer and started examining his chest, grabbing hold of one of his arms and moving it out of the way.
“Shot at.” He stated, as if that made a difference to you. “And my shoulder.”
You stepped around him and saw the wound.
It was shallow with clean edges and had already stopped bleeding.
Your shoulders sagged in relief.
A q-tip distorted your view and you noticed Jack trying to reach the edges of the wound himself.
You put on some gloves, took the q-tip from his hands and went to work cleaning the graze.
“How did this happen?”
“A warehouse robbery gone wrong. They underestimated the time they needed to clear out. We arrived and all hell broke loose.” He said it as if getting shot at was something that happened to him every day. It probably was since he joined the SWAT team.
“That sounds horrible. Will your partner make it?”
“Yes, he will.”
Your breaths were the only sound filling the room for a while.
“When did you join the team?” You tried to fill the silence. Silence felt like too many words left unsaid.
“A few months ago.” His answers were clipped. You left the night shift a few months ago.
“Why?”
“My therapist said I needed a hobby.”
You snorted. “There are other ways to fill your time that don’t require you being in the path of multiple bullets.” You tried to keep your voice light and mask the worry you felt underneath the easy remark.
You held out your hand and he gave you a gauze swab. As you held it in place, Jack handed you pieces of tape.
You moved in front of him and put your hand on the slope of his shoulder.
“All done.” You felt your medical professionalism slip when you took him in.
“Thank you.” The corners of his mouth lifted into a shy smile.
“Always.”
The air felt charged the moment the word slipped out of your mouth.
His hand twitched at his side. You could see his pupils widen as he looked at you.
You took a step closer and his right hand found your hip. Your other hand cupped his jaw. He placed his left on your waist.
“Don’t scare me like that again, please.” You whispered.
“I’ll do my best.” He smiled up at you as he brushed his thumb over the waistband of your scrubs.
The silence between you no longer felt stifling. Instead, it felt like all unspoken words were heard and understood.
You lowered your head to his and breathed him in.
“Thank you.” You kissed his forehead.
You could hear his breath hitch and feel his heart rate increase underneath your palm.
The hand at your waist clenched, bunching up the fabric between his fingers.
You lingered for a while, as long as you could allow yourself to, before releasing him and stepping back. Your hand slid down his arm to hold his.
He mirrored your smile. Small, but comforting and gentle.
There was a promise underneath. Something greater than promising you to try not to get shot at.
You squeezed his hand.
“I think it’s time I find you another shirt.” You breathed.
“Do you have to?” He still looked at you like you hung the moon.
“I fear you might cause some patients to faint if you go outside without it.”
He laughed in that calm way of his.
“There is a spare one in my locker.”
You nodded and started to move away.
“No chart?” He asked, hoping to keep you a little longer but dreading the follow-up of the paper trail.
“Figured you wouldn’t want the paperwork. I’ll be right back.” And you slipped out of the room.
Your hand cramped for days after.
The amount of charts you had to write by hand made you feel like your forearm should have been a lot more muscular.
The day shifts felt quiet without Robby’s usual laughter and jokes.
You tried to spend more time in the Pitt to help the residents. The change had been hard on them — especially Whitaker who now stayed in Robby’s apartment — but Al-Hashimi had disagreed with you. They would call you up from pediatrics if they needed you.
Your conversations with the residents turned shorter by the day, interrupted by a medical emergency or Dr Al sending you up to the ninth floor again.
You were complaining about the change in energy during one of your rare handovers with Ellis in the ED.
“Why don’t you join the night shift again?” Ellis mentioned. “Abbot’s been better.”
Your heart skipped a beat.
“I’m not sure if I can leave the kids.”
Ellis nodded, knowing you meant the residents and students instead of your patients. “They’ll be okay, mama bear. They have Langdon and McKay as well, and don’t forget Dana, Perlah and Princess. They will wreak havoc if something happens to the kids.”
You sighed. “Thank you. I’ll think about it.”
“I heard you were thinking of joining the night shift again.” Princess was rearranging files near your desk.
“Not yet. I still need to finish a few weeks here before I think about switching again.”
“We saw you walk out of that exam room the day the computers went down, you know?” Princess tilted her head as she pointed a knowing look at you. “Returning with a black shirt that did not look like yours.”
“I really need to start remembering nurses see all.” You put your head in your hands.
“That we do.” Dana chimed in. Her smile could only be described as smug. “So this reluctance to go back to the night shift has nothing to do with the person whose shirt you were carrying then?”
“Of course not. That interaction was purely professional.” You insisted.
“As professional as Abbot following you for the rest of the day.” Perlah added under her breath.
You looked at her in shock.
“What? The man looked like a kicked puppy whenever you went somewhere he couldn’t follow.”
“What we’re saying is,” Dana started “you should try it again. See how it goes. Live a little.” Dana shrugged. “Who knows, you might find yourself with a boyfriend when your fellowship ends.”
“Dana!” You exclaimed.
“Or before! And then we get to keep you on the day shift.” Perlah added.
You groaned and put your head in your hands again.
“Don’t worry, sunshine.” Princess giggled and laid a hand on your shoulder. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind having you all to himself on your days off.”
“I’m pretty sure this entire conversation is a massive HR violation.” You grumbled.
Jesse chose that moment to walk by.
“Jesse, please save me from this madness. I will give you anything.” You pleaded with him.
“Even your firstborn with Abbot?”
“Not you too.” You groaned.
This was going to be a long shift.
***
Quality time
“Hey, can you cover for me tonight? I have an emergency at home.”
Shen had called you during your shift and told you his dog was sick. He needed to go to the vet. You immediately agreed to work a double, knowing how much Shen and his partner loved that dog.
“Thank you! I’ll text Abbot to let him know.”
It seemed Shen had forgotten to text Jack later that night, because when he entered the Pitt, he stopped when he saw you.
“I thought you weren’t working in the ED today.”
“I’m covering for Shen tonight, working a double.” You beamed at him. A corner of his mouth lifted.
“Good to know. I’ll get you some coffee then.” He turned toward the lockers and readied himself to get to work.
It felt as if you had never left.
Ellis was ecstatic when she saw you sitting at the hub without a coat on or charts to hand over. In the trauma bay, you and Jack worked like a well-oiled machine, always knowing what the other needed before they had the chance to ask.
Lena was telling you and Ellis stories of patients that came through when Jack placed a hand on your shoulder, handed you coffee with a soft smile and moved to the north exam rooms. You watched him go.
“I’m sorry, what happened there?” Ellis asked. She turned to Lena. “Did you see that too?”
“Oh honey, I’ve been seeing it since she started night shifts.”
Ellis’ jaw dropped. “And you never thought to tell me?”
“You really should start talking to the day shift nurses more often. They’ve seen more intense moments than that.” Lena stated. “Where do you think she got all that coffee from during her night shifts when she never even moved from the Pitt?”
“He was just being nice.” You squeaked.
“Just being nice. Girl, you’re kidding me now. That was the look of a man ready to propose at a moment’s notice.” Ellis exclaimed with a raised eyebrow. She fell silent for a moment. “Wait, does this mean you shifting to the day shift is what got him so cranky?”
“Probably not. We’re not anything romantic.”
“Not romantic, my ass.” That earned Ellis a slap on her shoulder with a folder from Lena, saying there were kids nearby.
“We’re not. He’s my supervising attending when I’m on night shifts and any relationship beyond that is a conflict of interest.”
“Funny way to call your coffee dates that.”
“Ellis, this is serious. They could pull me from my fellowship.”
“Not really.” Lena chimed in.
The world stopped for a moment.
“What?” You were trying to process what she was saying.
“You said it yourself. He’s your supervising attending when you work night shifts.” She shrugged and looked at you and Ellis. Her shoulders sagged with a sigh when she noticed the lightbulb was still not on. “So… Don’t work night shifts.” She spelled out.
Ellis hummed. “That could work. If we can get Abbot to sign off on your night shifts, saying you learned all that you could from him, you could switch to days for the rest of your fellowship and there would be nothing HR could do.”
“If that were true, why would Jack not come up with that solution?”
Ellis raised an eyebrow. “Jack, now is he?”
Lena interrupted Ellis’ gloating. “You know him, sweetheart. He would never do anything to jeopardize something you really wanted. If you want this, you’ll have to be the one to tell him.”
You sighed. “I’ll think about it.” You grabbed an iPad from the rack and looked at Ellis. “In the meantime, we have some rounds to make.”
The shift went by easily, but the toll of a double shift was getting to you.
Even with the steady supply of coffee Jack handed you throughout the night, you could not stop yawning.
“I think we might need to find you a weight for your upper lip so you’ll finally stop.” He joked as he yawned with you whenever your mouth stretched around another again.
Finally at the end of your shift, you handled the handover with Langdon and were ready to go home and sleep.
“Hi.” Jack was standing next to you, getting his coat out of his locker.
“Hello.” You smiled a lazy smile at him.
“Do you have a ride home?”
“I can drive.” You protested.
“Not with the amount of yawning you’ve been doing.” He could see a frown growing on your face. “Humor me. Let me take you out for breakfast.”
“Are you sure you want to sit next to this tired face?”
“Always.” He smiled as he closed his locker. “Come, I know a place with great pancakes.”
A few moments later you were sitting in a diner together, having just ordered a stack of pancakes each and bottomless coffee. You took a sip when the coffee arrived. It was decent enough. Nowhere near the gift from the heavens.
You talked about patients you’ve seen, movies you’ve watched, and books you read as the noises of the diner faded into the background. Conversation flowed so easily between you, it felt like you knew each other outside of work for years.
“How did you like the night shift?” He asked, drinking from his coffee.
“It was nice to see everyone again. It’s not the same when you only see them at handovers.”
“Are you thinking of coming back?” He swayed the liquid around in the ceramic cup.
“Actually, I was thinking of transferring to the day shift permanently.”
He lowered the cup as his face went whiter than you’ve ever seen.
“Why?”
“Lena mentioned something tonight that I’ve been thinking about.”
He frowned. “What did she say?” There was a soft pleading in his voice.
“She said that I could not go on a date with my supervising attending due to a conflict of interest.”
“Oh.”
“But I could go on a date with an attending who would not be supervising me.”
Oh.
That caught his attention.
A tentative smile grew on his face.
“Are you sure about this?”
“I’ll have to work out the details and the effect on my fellowship, but if there is no negative effect, I would very much like to go on a date with you.” You reached for his hand. “Sooner rather than later.”
“We can wait.”
“I don’t want to. Not anymore.”
He squeezed your hand. “We’ll work it out then.”
You smiled at him and you felt a weight lift off your shoulders.
If this could actually happen, you would be very happy.
The next week, Robby returned from his sabbatical, telling you all about the road to Alberta. He visited the Great Lakes on his way to Canada and was currently talking your ears off with facts about Lake Superior. Mel was standing next to him, listening in and nodding fervently.
“I mean, it’s huge! Largest freshwater lake on this planet by surface area and second by volume. And it alone contains ten percent of Earth’s freshwater supply.”
“That sounds wonderful, Robby.” You tried to sound excited for him, but you were waiting for the right moment to butt in and your nerves grew with each fact about that lake.
“And all the water from the other lakes, and more, can be held by Lake Superior alone!”
Mel gasped. She loved facts about nature.
You realized he was never going to stop if you didn’t intervene.
“Robby, can I speak to you alone? There is something I need to ask you.”
Robby switched from talking with glee to attentive when he heard the serious note in your voice. “Of course, let’s go.”
He was leading you into the empty family room when Jack walked in for the night shift.
“Robby, can you wait for a second please?” He nodded and watched you move towards Jack.
You grabbed his hand for the first time in a week.
After your breakfast in the diner, you exchanged private numbers and combed through every HR regulation and contract you could find together. You sent each other parts of your own contracts for the other to read and share interpretations of. Jack even messaged a friend from his old squad. His friend became a lawyer after his time in the army and was all too happy to help.
With his advice, you formed a plan.
The bottom line was the same as Lena’s plan. Jack would not be supervising you anymore and would sign off on you completing your night shifts.
To prove your romantic relationship did not start during the moments he supervised you — and therefore declaring your assessments void —you gathered statements from Ellis, Lena and Shen to support the story.
Shen had been shocked at the news and very disappointed it all happened during the one shift he was not there. He had also been very honored when you asked him to be your supervisor if you did have to work night shifts on occasion.
“It might be best if you come with us.”
Jack looked behind you and saw Robby waiting for you. He let himself be pulled into the room and closed the door behind him.
Robby looked at your hands.
“Anything you want to tell me?” His arms were crossed.
“I want to be permanently transferred to the day shift for the rest of my fellowship.” You stated. Jack’s hand was steady, even if you felt anything but.
“Okay. When did this happen?” Robby was in supervisor mode. His voice did not betray a single thought.
“It hasn’t yet.”
Robby’s eyebrows flew up.
“I sure missed a lot in the last few months.” He laughed while shaking his head.
“That you did.” Jack chuckled.
“You do know you’ll be seeing each other a lot less now?”
“Yes.”
“No more supply closets or dressing bullet wounds in exam rooms for the rest of your fellowship.”
“Yes, we understand.”
“It was just a graze.” Jack protested at the same time.
“I assume Shen will supervise when you do work nights?”
“He will. We have it all written down here.” You handed the document to Robby.
He leafed through it, nodding while he read the statements, alternative supervision structure and the limits you’ve identified for your professional interaction.
Robby looked up, smiling. “Okay.” And signed the last page.
“I’ll take this to HR, Gloria and James.” He gestured with the stack of paper and moved towards the door.
“Congratulations, you two.” And closed the door behind him.
You turned to Jack and saw the same overflowing happiness in his eyes that you felt.
This was happening.
It was happening and you would still be able to fulfill your dreams.
Only a few short months to go and you’d be an attending, free to move and interact with him without a stack of paperwork that needed to go through three different pairs of hands before approval.
He squeezed your hand.
You took a step towards him and cupped his jaw, the way you did in the exam room when you dressed his bullet wound.
You could feel the steady beat of his heart.
“Jack Abbot, would you go on a date with me?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” His arm circled around your waist and he pulled you close as his lips finally found yours.
***
Inclusion
“Good morning.”
You opened your eyes and saw Jack lying on the pillow next to you, smiling. His eyes twinkled the way they did in your dreams.
“Good morning.” Your voice sounded rough from sleep. The sound made Jack smile wider as he pulled you close. You burrowed your nose in his chest and slung a lazy arm over his waist.
“I could stay like this all day.” He sighed.
“Don’t ever let me leave this bed.”
He kissed the top of your head. “Never.” You felt his laughter rumble through his chest as he held you tighter and you quietly fell asleep again.
The next moment you woke up, you saw a steaming cup of coffee waiting for you on your bedside table.
You took a sip.
It was perfect.
It had been three years since the first time he got you coffee.
You remember the surprise you felt when you saw the note and your heart pounding in your chest during the flirting after.
If only the you from then knew where you ended up now.
Lying in your shared bed with a similar cup, made by the one who still perfectly knew how you liked your coffee.
A lot had changed in those years. You couldn’t believe it was nearly two years since you went on your first date with Jack.
You remember getting breakfast together at the diner, the energy at the table vastly different from the time when you told him you couldn’t date an attending and formed a plan to make it happen. After breakfast you went to the park, talking and lying on the grass in the sun as the day went by. The date went on and on until Jack finally had to leave for home to prepare for his shift. Dreading the goodbye, you went with him.
That evening was the first time in over ten years that he walked in late for his shift.
You stayed until he got home again in the morning, not wanting the dream to end. He had been so happy to see you sitting on his couch after his shift that he pulled you toward the bedroom the moment he saw you. The waffles on the counter were cold by the time you ate them, but you didn’t care.
That year you also finished your fellowship. You studied your ass off for that board certification, but it payed off. Robby had kept his promise and broke the news to you with the proudest smile on his face.
He had also given you a job offer to join the ED as an attending, saying they needed someone to help with the crazy stuff the kids got into.
When you told the residents you were staying, Santos was the first to hug you, pushing Whitaker aside before he had the chance. Javadi, now living in her own apartment, had also decided to join the ED as a first year resident, finally making a name for herself.
Before you started your new job as an attending, you and Jack took a week off. The quiet week together was just what you needed.
It helped you both shift from the idea that you had to keep your relationship quiet and within the boundaries of admitted paperwork — even though everyone already knew — to the idea of working as equals and partners, out in the open.
You spent the better part of the week together. From waking up at his place to cooking dinner in his kitchen, it felt like you had been living there for years.
It was on a Wednesday morning during a grocery run when he asked you to move in with him in the middle of the cereal aisle.
Instead of a relaxed week, you spent that week painting, building furniture and moving your stuff from your former apartment to your new shared home.
The first few weeks of being an attending were tough.
With your new job and the new environment at home, you noticed you were snappier than usual. You apologized to Jack every time you overstepped. In those moments he held you, assured you he forgave you, gave you a cup of tea and set you on the couch underneath a blanket. It was just what you needed after a hard day.
Slowly, your life grew intertwined with his.
You started noticing little things that changed at first.
Your music started playing in his car and he left you little notes around the house when your shifts didn’t align. He noticed hot packs for his leg waiting for him when he got back from a grueling shift and caught himself using your pillow when you were not lying next to him, simply because it smelled like you.
It felt like you created a language that only you two spoke. You knew what the other needed without saying a word.
On New Years Eve, you handed him the noise cancelling headphones you got him for Christmas and he reminded you to take your meds when you had a headache, knowing you had always been stubborn about needing help against pain.
You kept holding his hand after the hard cases, shooting him a text before his shift ended when you weren’t there and holding him when he came home.
You wouldn’t have it any other way.
It was a morning on your day off when Jack took your hand and told you he loved you.
Tears fell from your eyes.
You knew how frightened he was in the beginning, not wanting to trouble you with his mental health but being unable to walk away. Slowly and with a lot of help from his therapist, he accepted this was something he could have. That he could have a future with you, regardless of the past, if he only reached out and took the chance.
You told him you loved him too and kissed him with everything you had in you.
That night was the second time in ten years he was late for his shift.
“I heard you are leaving for your holiday tomorrow.” Robby smirked.
The Pitt crew was gathered in your garden to celebrate the graduating residents and to welcome the newcomers. Robby and Dana were sitting next to Jack, beer in their hands.
“We are. We’re taking a trip to the sea. A quiet week off before the summer starts.” Jack mentioned as he glanced at you. You were sitting across the garden, laughing with Perlah at something Princess said.
“That’s a good plan. You should take some time off together.” Dana smiled.
“I take it you’re going to ask her then?” Robby gestured with the bottle.
“Not exactly.” Jack made no effort to hide the smile on his face.
“So, let me get this straight.” Princess held out her hands. “You went ring shopping together.”
“Yes.” You nodded.
“You chose a ring.”
“Yes.”
“He got it sized to your measurements.”
“Right again.”
“Then tell me there is a good reason why I don’t see that big rock on your finger right now.”
You laughed. “There is.”
A few weeks ago, you and Jack were running errands together. You had talked about wanting to get married and, when you walked past a jeweler, it felt right.
You and Jack picked out rings for the both of you. One set made of metal for days off and another set of silicone rings to wear at work.
You had them measured together and discussed the designs with the jeweler, adding little suggestions for the other’s ring as a surprise. You suggested an engraving of your ECG on the inside of the ring, next to your name and a wedding date.
A week later, when Jack picked up the rings, he told you he would still like to propose and keep the moment as a surprise. You kissed him as you agreed but urging him to not keep you waiting too long.
He had planned the holiday soon after.
“And that’s why I think I’ll get proposed to on the last day of our holiday.” You told Princess and Perlah.
“That sounds like you. You never struck me as a surprise proposal girlie.” Perlah nodded at you in approval.
“Please no! I would hate that. I would miss all the fun!” You exclaimed. Princess laughed.
You noticed Jack staring at you from across the garden and shot him a wide smile. He returned it.
“That was some night, huh?” You felt Jack’s arms slide across your waist from behind. You were standing in the kitchen, clearing away the last of the dishes with a used dish towel thrown over your shoulder.
“It was. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Whitaker so drunk.” Jack laughed as he laid his head on your other shoulder.
“Good thing Robby offered him a ride home then. It’s not every day he gets to celebrate his roommate graduating from her residency.” You put the last plate on the counter and turned around to face him.
“It was good to have them here.” He murmured inches from your mouth.
“It was.” You leaned forward and kissed him softly. His lips responded the second they touched yours, moving at a slow pace. A sense of calm washed over you after the busy evening. His hand covered your cheek as your finger twirled around a curl at the nape of his neck. You wouldn’t trade this moment for anything in the world.
He broke away. His eyes softened when he caught your eyes.
“Actually, I have something to ask you before we leave tomorrow.” Jack reached into his pocket for the box he had been carrying around all day.
In the middle of your kitchen, with a damp dish towel on your shoulder and Jack’s shirt still stained from cooking earlier that night, he got down on one knee and proposed.
Summary: Trinity Santos knows her cousin has a partner, but doesn’t know who it is. You have only told her they work in the same ED as she does. To Ahmed’s delight, a new bet has started.
Pairing: Jack Abbot x reader
Words: 3.2k
Notes/content: Santos POV, PTMC ER Betting Pool, slight age-gap, secret relationship, no use of Y/N, Santos being confused, Santos being competitive, reader being a bad liar, a bit of foul language, hospital setting, very little medical talk because I am not a doctor.
A/N: Sometimes you need something adjacent to a crackfic to distract you from the serious 100K angst you’re writing. Especially after you’ve binged The Pitt and had surgery. Hope you enjoy!
Link to AO3
Trinity’s older cousin has a partner. She’s sure of it. The only thing is… she doesn’t know who it is.
She had always looked up to you. A good few years older than her, you felt like the big sister she had never had. You played with her when her other cousins did not want to play with the baby of the family, sent her care packages throughout med school, and now went on holidays together. You were her best friend and were there for Trinity when she needed it. You had always been there.
It had been a week since Trinity saw your phone light up, revealing an unfamiliar nickname followed by a heart, and she felt doubt creep in.
She told you everything. Why had you not told her about this mystery partner?
***
It was Tuesday night, which meant movie-and-pasta night. You were in your kitchen, sauce simmering on the stove. It was your turn to pick the pasta and Trinity’s to pick the movie. It always took you both too long to pick out a movie if you had to do it together so, efficient as you both were, you divided the tasks.
Trinity held up her nose a bit when she saw the ravioli on the counter, waiting to be cooked. If it were up to her, it would have been mac and cheese.
“So…” Trinity leaned against the counter with her elbows, watching you stir in some basil into the sauce.
“So?”
“Can you tell me about your partner?”
“What partner?” You answered nonchalantly. Of course you would answer like you knew nothing and try to deflect the question.
“The one you’ve constantly been daydreaming about? I saw the nickname and heart on your phone. Must be serious if they have a nickname.”
Trinity knew you only gave nicknames to people you were very close to and serious about. It was as serious as a love declaration to you. You had given her her nickname ‘light bug’ after a lightning bug landed on her nose during a camping trip when she was five. She was still saved as light bug on your phone.
“Ah, that partner.” You kept your eyes on the pot and gave her a small, apologetic smile. “I would love to tell you more about them, but it’s a bit early to introduce them to family.”
“Can you at least tell me their name?” Trinity leaned closer, trying to get you to stop avoiding her eyes. She didn’t like it when you kept secrets from her and you were a horrible secret keeper.
You stopped stirring the sauce and looked at her.
“Why do you want to know?”
Something clicked. Trinity smiled. “Is it someone I know?”
A line formed between your eyebrows. “What hospital are you working at again?”
“PTMC.”
“Okay, maybe you know them already.” You shrugged, clearly trying to not make a big deal out of it. That was not going to work. Trinity would pull it out of you if she had to.
“Really?” She drawled.
“Probably.”
“It’s a large hospital. I might not even know them if the department they work in is different from mine.”
“What department are you working in?”
“The ED.” Your face slowly paled. Trinity could see she was winning.
“What shift?” She could hear the slight pleading in your voice to stop her questioning.
“Mostly day shifts, some nights. I basically know everyone.”
“Then you definitely know them.” Trinity let out a laugh and leaned forward.
“Tell me!”
“No, it’s still very new and I haven’t discussed this with them yet!” It was obvious you wanted to tell her, but didn’t want to cross a boundary with her partner. Unfortunately for you, her curiosity was winning.
“Tell me!” Trinity grabbed your arm.
“No!” You laughed.
“I’ll use my puppy eyes and I’ll do your dishes for a week.”
“That’s unnecessary. I have a dishwasher.” You peeled her hand off your arm. She kept looking at you with big eyes. It was kind of frightening how well it still worked after all these years.
“I’ll ask them if I can, okay?”
“Yes!” She held her hands up in victory.
You sighed and gave her the wooden spoon. “Here, take over.”
A little while later, you stepped into the kitchen. “They said I can tell you.”
“Fuck yes! Okay, spill.” Her eyes were wide and if she was clutching the wooden spoon any harder, it could break in half. She could feel the victory already.
“They actually suggested something different.” A conniving smirk grew on your face and Trinity knew she had lost.
“You know what would be more fun? You should start a betting board at work. Tell Ahmed. From what I’ve heard, I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”
Trinity groaned. “Fine.”
***
“Hey, Ahmed!” Trinity pushed open the doors, still wearing her coat. There was something she needed to do before the chaos of the day started.
“Santos! Need anything? He was standing in his usual spot near the ambulance entrance.
“Not really, but I think I have something you might be interested in.”
“Go on.” Ahmed raised a casual eyebrow.
“I have a bet.”
A big smile grew on his face. ”Tell. Me. More.”
***
“Okay. So, saying goes that Santos’ cousin is dating someone from this department. Bets are on who, how long they’ve been dating and how they met. Starting at five dollars.” Ahmed was telling the group of medical assistants.
“Why do we want to know who her cousin is dating if we don’t know her cousin?” Antoine asked.
“ Yeah, why would we want to know?” Larry added.
“Why would you not want to win an insane amount of money?” Ahmed countered. Antoine and Larry looked at each other.
“Good point. Put me in for ten on Mohan, one year and coffee shop.”
“Fifteen on Jesse, two months and friends-to-lovers since university.
***
“You’ve met her, right?” Javadi asked Whitaker.
“Yes, she’s been around for movie nights sometimes. Why?”
“Can you tell me more about her?”
“You’re thinking about joining in on the bet?”
“Maybe.”
“Alright” Whitaker moved a little closer, Javadi leaned in.
“She’s a few years older than us, I’d say around Garcia’s age. Works around the corner as a professor and has a lot of embarrassing stories about Santos.”
“Really?” Javadi’s eyes stared to shine, the bet completely forgotten.
***
“Santos!” Princess called.
“Yeah?” Trinity looked up from her charting. It was boring and taking too long. She was grateful for the distraction.
“Show me a picture of your cousin.”
“Why would I show you a picture of my cousin?”
“For the bet! I need to know about her range.” Princess added with a few swaying shoulders.
“Her range?” Trinity lifted an eyebrow.
“Yeah. Like, would she be a person Dr King is dating or is she more like Dr Robby’s age?” Princess whispered behind her hand. Mel looked up, her mouth opening to protest, but quickly closing as she focused on her notes again.
“Good point.” Trinity pulled her phone out of her pocket and quickly looked up a recent photo of you. “There she is.”
“Oh, she’s cute! Way out of his range then. Got it!” Princess turned around, sprinted toward Ahmed and yelled a quick thank you over her shoulder. Trinity did not miss the look of offence on Dr Robby’s face. Princess slammed twenty dollars on the table.
“Put me up for Mateo, five months and elevator. That boy’s been too smiley lately.”
***
The bets were piling up and Trinity saw that the whiteboard was already filled with post-its. The night shift had not even come in yet.
She stood in front of the whiteboard.
Garcia, 9 months, gift shop for twenty. Prescott, 2 months, sports bar for ten. King, 4 months, bookstore for thirty. The list went on and on.
Mel had protested at that last one, which earned a groan from Langdon. He had no more cash to double the bet and change it and Ahmed did not accept promises of money.
She herself had fifty bucks riding on Dr Shen, three months and the Dunkin’ Donuts around the corner. The place was on your way to work and Shen was always sipping that coffee during handovers. Taking your blushing from the last few months into account, it was the perfect place, match and time.
A complete foolproof plan.
She could use the money to buy that new phone she had wanted.
***
An hour before the night shift started, Trinity looked up from her charting and saw Dr Abbot walking into the ED.
“Slow day?” He said as he dropped his stethoscope on the counter near Dr Robby and glanced at the board. Trinity was glad she hadn’t complained about charting that moment. She knew her attendings did not like her perfectly concise reports, calling them too short and without detail to follow her diagnosis.
“Kind of, you could say that.”
Abbot’s eyes squinted a little at Robby. “Something’s different. What happened?”
Robby nodded in the direction of the whiteboard.
“Ahmed started another bet. Apparently, one of us is dating Santos’ cousin.”
“What are they betting on?”
“Who, how long they’ve been dating and how they met. Everyone’s pretty hyped to find out. Apparently her cousin works right around the corner at the university. Everyone’s been offending each other and singing her praises all day.”
“Really?” Abbot smiled, amused by the remark. “And why would this be so interesting to warrant a bet?” He moved a little closer and looked at the post its.
Robby put his hands up in defence. “I don’t know, man. Slow day.”
Ahmed took that moment to make an announcement.
“Place your bets before the night shift’s over. Santos is going to call her cousin tomorrow morning during handover for the reveal!”
Trinity heard Abbot sigh. “Let’s hope the gossip is not a distraction.”
“Oh, it definitely will be. Good luck tonight, brother.” Robby laughed.
***
That night, after her shift, Trinity told you about the bet over the phone.
“There are so many people who want to know who it is. You have officially started at least three conspiracy theories.”
“Have I now?” Your voice sounded amused over the speaker while Trinity laid on top of her bed. Trinity could hear Huckleberry walking by and lowered the volume of her phone. There was still time for him to change his bet and with his new doctor’s salary he actually had the money to back it up.
“You have. Perlah believes you’re dating someone from the night shift, and Mel believes you’re dating someone who used to work at the ED.”
“Oh, he definitely still works there.”
“He! You said he! It’s a man!” She whisper-shouted, hoping Whitaker would not hear.
Trinity groaned. “Don’t tell me you’re fucking Huckleberry.”
“Who?”
“Whitaker.”
“What? No!” Her shoulders sagged with relief at your reaction. Whitaker and you knew each other from movie nights at their place, but you dating him would only make things awkward in the house. Besides, while she knew you deserved an actual nice guy like him, the match did not make sense at all. And you always seemed to attract handsome men.
Trinity blanched.
“Don’t tell me it’s Langdon.”
“Isn’t he married?” She could hear the slight laughter in your tone.
“True. Total wife and kids guy.” She let out a sigh. You dodged a bullet there.
“Is he a nurse?” She tried.
“Nope.”
“Guard?”
“Nope.”
“Medical assistant?”
“No.”
“Well, it’s either that or you’re fucking an attending.”
You stayed silent.
“Oh my god, you’re fucking an attending?!”
Your laughter rang through the room.
“Please tell me it’s Shen! I bet fifty on Shen.”
Trinity shivered. “Don’t say it’s Robby. That would be - No. Just no.” She could not sit through a Christmas dinner with that smug smile across her. She liked him as her boss. He was a good doctor and always in for a joke or a story. But it was a different thing to have him sit with them on movie nights.
You laughed even harder.
“Don’t worry, Trinity. You’ll find out tomorrow.” You managed between laughs.
“Fine.” She resigned, no closer to her goal, but still feeling confident about her bet. It was Shen, she knew it for sure.
“I should go. You’ll call me tomorrow morning?”
“I will, for the big reveal.”
“For the big reveal. ‘Night, light bug.” You drawled out the last syllables like you did when you tucked little Trinity into bed.
“‘Night, sunshine.” Trinity pressed the red button on her phone.
Her cousin was dating an attending in the ED.
There were only four options then.
Dr Robby, Al-Hashimi, Abbot or Shen.
It had to be Shen. She had bet fifty dollars on it.
Dr Robby was not your type. While you had a tendency to fall for noble people, you hated motorcycles. Lucky for her, he had become nearly insufferable about his after he came back from his sabbatical.
Al-Hashimi was too stubborn for you. While she thought it was a good quality to have in the ED, you deserved a bit of freedom in doing things your way.
Abbot - well, he was not it. Trinity had no particular reason, but she knew that with his crazy schedule between being a full time senior attending in the ED and volunteering as a doctor for a fucking SWAT team, he had no time left to meet people. Let alone date them. You would like his looks and the quiet but commanding presence, but you also liked to have a life outside of work that did not include scalpels and suture kits.
So it had to be Shen.
It just had to be.
***
The next morning everyone was gathered around the whiteboard. Ahmed had gotten it out of the dispatch room and put it in front of the hub.
“Alright, alright, everyone. We all know why we’re here.”
Trinity scoffed a little. Ahmed really was trying to make a show out of it.
In the corner of her eye, she saw Abbot looking at the whiteboard with a slight smile. Why was he standing so close to the front of the group? Yesterday, he wasn’t interested in the bet, calling it a distraction.
Shen was also near the whiteboard, coffee in hand. It would only make sense for her cousin’s partner to stand so close to the whiteboard. Trinity was already counting the bills in her head.
“We all want to know who of us here is dating Santos’ cousin.” Ahmed held out his hand to her in a dramatic gesture. “Santos, if you please.”
Trinity pressed the call button on her phone.
“Hello?” You answered.
“Hi there, it’s Trinity. Calling for the reveal. You’re on speaker by the way.”
“Indeed you are, no chance at foul play!” She heard Donnie yell from behind her.
You giggled a little. “Good to know. I’m just walking to work now.”
The other end of the line stayed silent for a while.
“Well? Tell us.” Trinity spoke into the mic of her phone. The suspense was killing her. She had been waiting more than a whole day just to hear a single name.
“Actually, I thought it might be fun to reveal it in reverse order.”
Abbot snorted lightly next to her, shaking his head.
“Okay, so first is the place we met. We met on the corner of the street near the hospital, in front of Dunkin’ Donuts. I ran into him and spilled coffee all over his scrubs.”
The answer was met with a lot of groans, but Trinity felt pride glowing in her chest. One step closer to victory.
Ahmed removed all answers that had nothing to do with street and coffee shop from the whiteboard.
“Second, we have been seeing each other for three months now. After I spilled coffee all over him, I tried to clean it up. He made a joke about wanting to take me out on a date first, and that was that.”
Ahmed removed the post its.
Trinity’s pride glowed brighter. Only one answer and she would have her new phone.
“And now that we’ve come to the final answer, I believe the person themselves could reveal it best.” Trinity locked eyes on Shen to her left. This was it, she could taste victory.
There was a shuffle on her right.
It couldn’t be.
Shit.
Abbot had stepped forward and held his hand up.
Trinity nearly dropped her phone.
“Hi love, did you have fun with the dramatics?” He had the audacity to sound amused.
“Oh, I sure did!” You replied. “My dearest gamblers, I am dating Dr. Jack Abbot.”
All around, Trinity heard applause.
She had lost. She was so sure of her answer, but she lost because of the last part of the question.
“Alright, thanks everyone. Back to your stations and handovers.” Dr. Abbot waved them off while receiving pats on his shoulders.
“Trinity? Could you give me Jack, please?” Your voice pulled her out of her daze.
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” She turned the speaker off and handed her phone to Abbot.
“She wants to talk to you.” She said with her lips pressed together in a small awkward smile.
“Thanks.” Abbot took the phone with a small but bright smile and walked into one of the rooms.
Ahmed removed the last post its off the whiteboard.
“All this work,” he grumbled, “and no one even took the whole prize. Have to divide it like losers.”
Trinity turned toward the hub, starting her day with going through charts before discussing them with a second year resident from the night shift. From her stool, she could see Dr Abbot smiling and laughing.
He would make you happy. She knew that, just as she knew you were laughing and smiling just as much as the attending.
The more she thought about it, the more she could see it.
You had a tendency to get carried away in stressful moments and there was no one more steady in those moments than Abbot. She had seen him during the Pitt Fest chaos. It was impressive.
She also knew he was a very busy person due to his past and there was no one more understanding and warm than you. Trinity knew that firsthand. You might give him a chance to stop running and enjoy the world around him more.
Abbot hung up, walked to the hub and handed Trinity her phone.
“Thank you for letting me borrow it.”
“No problem, Dr Abbot. I can see she makes you happy.”
“That she does. I hope I do the same for her every day.” It sounded like he was making a promise. Abbot nodded at her and left in the direction of dr. Robby.
Trinity shot you a quick text.
Soooo… You into older veterans now? 😉
Shut up, light bug.
Not soon after, three dots appeared.
I’ll tell you the details of the meet cute tonight.
Trinity smiled at the text and put her phone in her pocket. It was time to see today’s first patient.
