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cancerousbutts

THEANGUARD HAS ENTERED THE RAVEN'S NEST.

WELCOME AND SHIT. HOW ARE YOU?

theanguard-blog

im not a raven why am i entering its nest i feel like ive missed something here fill me in dont leave me hanging bro

im good aside from that minor spot of confusion yknow same old same old hows it going on your end

#theanguard #cancerousbutts

catgirl-meulin

ive met cats

ive met girls

ive never met a catgirl

thats new

welcome firsty hows it hanging

#catgirl-meulin

carnaptioushunter replied to your post: February 5th 2013, 8:25:27 pm · 16 minutes ago...

HOW MUCH HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?

absofuckinglutely nothing

whats wrong with a little free thinking

#carnaptioushunter

what if

hear me out

what if seals understand humans

theanguard-blog

> Get going already.

carnaptioushunter-blog

You watch him heading towards the door with enthusiasm, and again you’re reminded of a small, excited child. You’re honestly not sure whether to be amused or embarrassed, because this is the guy that’s supposed to be protecting you. Still, the idea of an angel acting this ridiculous is pretty entertaining, and the idea of someone who believes in the stereotypical angel seeing this is even better.

“That depends,” You start, staring him down with a very serious expression, “If you can get us where we need to go without a problem and be fucking helpful, then sure. But if you plan to take a detour to Liechtenstein or some shit like that, then you can forget about it.” You really don’t think you could take it right now if you trusted him to take you somewhere and he took you to an entirely different country instead. You’re honestly just a little too stressed for something like that at the moment.

theanguard-blog

Damn, there goes your plan for an hour long vacation in Russia. You hear it's pretty shitty during winter anyway, though, so there's no loss there that you can't recover from. You hitch a shoulder and tuck your fingers in your pants pockets, raising your eyebrows and surveying Karkat with a touch of amusement.

"Give me a specific place and I'll have us there in a blink," you say, voice barely disguising pride. "C'mon, dude, don't doubt me. It's an arrow through the heart." You pat your chest once and raise your hand, fingers ready to touch his shoulder as soon as he gives the go ahead.You're a little more excited than you should be, you think, but emotions are difficult to suppress and after the talk you had with Vriska about not being the model example of your kind, you're not as defunct at comprehending it. Your heart will go on, etcetera.

theanguard-blog

> Get going already.

carnaptioushunter-blog

“Ten seconds? You’re getting bad at this.” You stand to your feet, sighing heavily. He’s like an impatient child. That’s probably the best way to describe him on any given day, you think, and you’re pretty sure a lot of people would agree with you there.

“Hold on a minute.” You grab a gun off the desk, already loaded and ready for this hunt since you’ve attempted it so many nights before this one, and tuck it away for future use. After which you pick up the map of the city and hold it up so that Dave can see it.

“These are the places it attacked.” You point to the red marks on the map. “So we know it’s somewhere around this area, unless it’s moving, but I don’t think it is.” Finishing your explanation, you hand the map over to him. “Now we’re ready to go.”

theanguard-blog

You frown with your enthusiasm doused, crossing your hands back and forth as Karkat arms himself and you watch him point to each area on the map, eyes memorizing the red marks. A smaller radius of frequency than you thought, this will be child's play. Your ready smirk is back in place with full power as Karkat gives you the map and you tuck it in a pocket, excited now with these revelations.

"Sweet."

It's all you say before you flounce around and start off for the door, making an 'oop' sound when you turn on your heel and glance back to Karkat thoughtfully.

"You up for trans-dimensional reappearification, bro?" you ask with a mischievous arch to your brow, wiggling your fingers. It's fun, why not ask him if he wants to pseudo-teleport. He's got no reason to say no, except maybe every other time you popped him up in Wherethefuckistan.

Whoops.

hardboiledmoon

#my people

jessicamdawn

Every time I eat a Godiva Chocolate Covered Oreo, I think “This must be what heaven feels like.”

#a+ for trying

earth is better than heaven because earth has mozzarella cheese sticks this is a fact

arvidabystrom

#yeah

its hard to be a good person when everyone is so stupid

#yeah

theanguard-blog

> Get going already.

carnaptioushunter-blog

“Well, obviously.” You roll your eyes. There is no ‘probably’ in this situation. “Shape-shifters aren’t as stupid as some of the other things we hunt, and by now, the thing’s got to know we’re coming after it. It’s not going to put its neck out for us.” You uncross your arms and sit upright in your seat again. There’s something about him doing the same thing as you that makes you want to do the exact opposite of that thing.

“We’re not waiting for anything. I’m not, anyway. I’ve been fucking working, in case you haven’t noticed.” You make a motion towards the open books, laptop, and map of the city messily sprawled across the desk in front of you. “I can’t do anything until we find this son of a bitch, so if you want to help out, it’s time to get to work. I’m ready to get out of this shithole already.”

theanguard-blog

Oh, he moves and you're left just kind of staring blankly. You can't really accidentally copy him if he's going to sit straight up, you're standing, that would result in you on your ass somehow. Angels have wings, sure, but you can't fucking fly. Physics. Come on, people.

"So let's go," you say emphatically, slipping around to the back of the chair he's in to try and convince him to move, get up, come on, Karkat, work to do, chop chop, angel with a shotgun on your side. Maybe you don't actually have a shotgun, but you've got an angel sword, and that's pretty much ten times better. A shotgun isn't much use for shit like the kind of thing Karkat hunts anyway. "I can poof us out there, ten seconds flat. It'd save time."

Curiosity killed the cat, but impatience killed the holy being of Heaven that happened to be aligned with Earth.

theanguard-blog

> Get going already.

carnaptioushunter-blog

Keeping yourself busy recently has been no difficult task. Running around the city and checking every available resource you have for information on tracking down shape-shifters is very time-consuming. You can feel yourself getting more and more frustrated every time you check a source and fail to find anything you don’t already know, which hasn’t made you a very fun person to be around lately. You’ve just finished calling an old friend of yours when Dave pops up.

“Is walking really so fucking difficult?” You say, giving him a rather irritated glance. You don’t give him a chance for a sarcastic response and speak again quickly. “I’m not any closer to knowing where this thing is than I was half a week ago. It’s not in the sewers, as far as I can tell, and it doesn’t change often enough for me to figure out where the damn thing is hiding.”

You cross your arms and lean back in your seat, still looking just as pissed as when Dave first popped up next to you. “The best I can do is keep running around the general area I know it’s at at night, unless you want to help out.”

theanguard-blog

Yes, Karkat, walking is really so fucking difficult that you feel the need to appear everywhere you go with a rustle of clothing and a breeze from absoshittinglutely nowhere, thank you very goddamn much. This all goes through your head fairly quickly and you catch yourself about to start mumbling it when Karkat continues and you settle for silence until he finishes, eyes searching the hunter's face while he speaks. Hell yeah, you'll help out, anything would beat this monotony.

"Why the fuck would it change and give us any kind of lead? Nah, the assmaggot's prob'ly sucking all the shit it can out of that, what did you call it, teenage heartthrob attraction face it's got going on. Some kind of fake vamp, or whatever." You shrug and lean back like Karkat is doing, mirroring the human without intentionally doing so. "So what are we waiting on, you think I'm not in or something? Lame."

You are so in. So in might as well be the letter n.

Thank fuck you didn't say that out loud, that would have been embarrassing.

> Get going already.

That seems easy enough. You pop up off of the motel bed you've been sitting on for the past way-too-long amount of time, getting to your feet and reappearing next to Karkat where he sits in the main room. Motels. You personally like them, maybe because there's a decidedly human feel to the lack of sparkle and glitz that angels liked putting into things, but hey, you were never the best example of a holy being, were you?

"Hey," you say simply, putting your chin on a hand with your elbow resting on the top of the chair you've decided to lean on as gracefully as you can manage with the way your jeans have taken to no longer staying as workable as you'd like.

You need new clothes -- or, you want new clothes, that is; though you've never had to worry about getting them, what with your lack of guilt over nabbing certain things and accidentally destroying security cameras, there's a charm in buying them. It builds character, or so you've been told. Illegal actions are so enticing, though.

"The shapeshifter case. You got it cracked?"

#carnaptioushunter #threads