To truly appreciate the experience of a Mark Kozelek concert, we must apply Seinology instead of logic. While Kozelek certainly isn’t a Nazi with a hatred for any delineation from the soup-ordering process, one might wonder if he might spontaneously combust from annoyance. There are certain things he will not tolerate, to which I am providing a list of don’ts should you ever consider seeing him on tour in the future:
Don’t use your cell phone–if you think he won’t notice your quick text message or tweet, you’re sadly mistaken. Your glowing screen will give you away instantly, and some brown-nosing fellow attendees may well rat you out.
Don’t take photos–for this rule there aren’t any exceptions, unless he’s given you a photo pass. Interestingly enough, when someone near the stage started snapping pictures he said there were “no photos” but remembering he had issued one (a single) photo pass, he asked “Who did I give the photo pass to?” The gentleman with the camera responded “Me!” and Mr. Kozelek went onto express his wonderment that anyone would want to cover a concert for free. “You’re not even getting paid…stand around for 4 hours? I don’t leave my house unless I get paid”
Don’t yell out requests or attempt to have clever discourse–as the poor naive dope last year learned (the berating he suffered is included as the last song in his tour video), Koz doesn’t want to discuss his film cameos, and he certainly doesn’t want to know what you’d like to hear unless you’re a cute girl.
Don’t talk excessively or loudly–you will be roasted on an open Kozelek-stoked fire.
The set started promptly around 9:45 at the Great Hall, a charming venue in Parkdale (near the cluster of great Pho shops lining the Ossington strip). It was hot as all hell inside, but the persistent humming of an air conditioner (which didn’t seem to be doing anything anyway) led to Kozelek instructing his sound guy to shut it off about 1/3 through the show. I arrived to find groups of (predominantly) couples and goofy 20-something guys sitting on the floor and a stampede quickly took place towards the stage once the show started.
What unfolded was what I would expect only Mark Kozelek can deliver. A 2-hour journey through unexpected discourse, tasteless jokes, constant tinkering with lighting, and the absolute bearing of one’s soul onstage through song. We were lucky to catch him a good mood. He seemed elated that a boxing magazine had come to interview them, and his graciousness with respect to his musical career’s endurance was something I never thought I’d hear.
There were several moments that were particularly memorable, but not surprising given some of the topic coverage in Among The Leaves (his latest release–see: Sunshine in Chicago). First, he spotted an attractive girl close to the right hand stage and called out the guy who was right in front of him, dead centre. “Look at this guy in the baseball cap and beer. You might notice my listener-base has changed over the years to guys with beards and baseball caps. Who knows how much better I might be playing if she was standing there instead of him?” Then, deep into the set while he was thanking his sound guy and others on the tour he got to a woman named Sarah. “Thank you Sarah for fucking me later”…catching himself in the moment and the aghast laughs from the crowd he quickly said “I’m sorry Sarah…Sarah’s like, 55. I’m sorry. It’s just that when you go on Tour and hear a woman’s voice, you get excited”.
- Panic Manual: Concert Review: Mark Kozelek
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