the Antib Ox

In the 1990's there was a network dubbed, The Box, which will now forever RIP as part of the MTv vortex. For kids in their pajamas with unfettered access to cable, phones, and their parents' credit cards it was thee 'bomb'. It was a channel dedicated to music video vending machine heaven, where the Backstreet Boys were but $3.99 and a phone call away - consider it the St. Anne of Youtube. But some great things are ruined by popularity and eventually the Box was plagued by a horrifying loop of Celine Dion. Even armed with the awesome power of a pre-itunestoric music library, it ended up sucking because the variety was crowded out. This is the Antib Ox, a creature that dwells in a magical land of mob-free musical glory and corny pictorial accompaniment. Please feed the animals.

[theantibox]

the Limosines - Internet Killed the Video Star on Get Sharp (circa April 2011)

charlie, shut that laptop and eat your peas, there are starving zombies in india.  our kids. they're going to be the first generation of people completely assimilated to technology. computers, television, smartphones, mp3 players, tickle me elmo. its a given, a must, if you will. they'll have to follow all the flashing lights, and if they don't - they'll be anesthetized. can't concentrate? adderall for you. no real-life social skills? eat that zoloft. no wonder people keep wanting to see more and more zombie imagery. its a cultural crystal ball.

[theantibox]

Foster the People - Helena Beat on Torches (circa May 23rd 2011)

Irish Air Guitar Championship 2011

make air guitar, not war. everybody rules at air guitar. it should be a mandatory qualification to be the leader of anything. i bet if gaddafi had an air guitar he wouldn't be such a bastard. i bet if obama had an air guitar he would be as cool as he told everyone he was. the key is to have some solid jams in your air repertoire. if it gets your brain bumping, its gold. don't worry if you haven't been playing as long as the other kids, air guitar will never judge you.

[theantibox]

Visit Original Link

99 Problems - Hugo (jay-z cover) on Old Tyme Religion circa May 2011

relationships are like fish. they are pretty easy to get, you don't need a great credit score or anything, or be particularly talented, a little charm will usually go a long way. many people meet nice young fish at their local store, fall in love, and sooner or later end up buying a bowl together. you've gotta remember to keep the fish alive, even if its been a while and the fish isn't as new and exciting as it once was. 'cuz one thing's for sure, if you let the fish die, realizing you've gotta flush it down the shitter is the worst. my brah daniel, he's two, he's got the right idea. he likes to keep loose change he finds around the house on a windowsill for when he finds a lady he likes. after a little chat, if daniel wants to play, he goes ahead and takes two quarters from the windowsill and gets that lady some chips. everyone loves chips, and if you buy them chips, everyone will love you. even a two year old can figure that out, dummy.

[theantibox]

Visit Original Link

Get Up Offa that Thing by James Brown as single (circa 1976)

why don't people wear velvet as business casual anymore? james brown made it look silky, so silky. and why shouldn't we tiptoe on the line between pajamas and real clothes at the office? you know what killed the velvs double-breasted blazer? i'll tell you what, the 90s and felvet. that's right i said it, 90s. your felvet camisoles and stretchy pants killed the dream for us all. the only blue velvet pantsuit we get to look forward to now is in heaven. thanks alot.

[theantibox]

Mazes - Most Days on Most Days (circa April 2011)

dear employer. i am applying to become an indentured servant with your organization. my more than $30K USD in loans with sallie-lifebloodsucking-mae qualifies me to pretty much beg your mercy to let me wipe your ass with my graduate degree for $28k per year. thank you for taking the time to run my $300 resume through keyword software to determine that i can pick up dry cleaning. i look forward to meeting you!

sincerely,

america

[theantibox]

Darwin Deez - Bad Day on Darwin Deez (circa 04/2010)

(above: FLCLs Mamimi)

post cherry pop. god i miss smoking. a lucee dangling from the side of the mouth. riding eastern parkway downhill in springtime, ahhhhhh. identity lost, identity found. nonetheless, quitting can sometimes leave you cranky.

buy