The AntiHeroes @theantiheroes - Tumblr Blog

Long Night.

-Rhay.

A Patient Wolf.

-Rhay.

Hi-Power.

-Rhay.

Yo my guy, I followed most of the knowledge you put out on the books and all. Learned a lot and used it well and got results from it. So I preciate you much. Now I’m sure I could dig somewhere to find the answer to my question but To save that time, how do I approach an older woman who is spontaneous out spoken? I want to make a move and I know older ones are blunt but I want to have a direction for approach

I find that guys spend too much time overthinking the approach. It’s just an approach. You have to just do it. Will you might get rejected? Yes.....But show me any man that is good with women, and I’ll also show you a man that has failed with more than you can possibly imagine. An attractive man sees the risk and takes action anyway.

If you want an older woman...You have to understand that they DON’T have any mercy. You NEED to have your shit together mentally and financially. I find that women don’t mind dating a younger man IF they can learn from them and you’re actually good in bed. But intelligence and love are what turn women on the most...The possibility of finding a man that they can finally be themselves around.....while also simultaneously improving in their presence.

You need to be able to offer a woman the possibility of change and improvement. A real woman wants a man with a future.

With a mindset, age doesn’t matter.

You just need to be MATURE.

May God Bless You.

-Rhay.

PART 1: A lot of your posts are directed towards men and i really enjoy the advice you give however I am a woman. I have some problems. My whole life I have always been very insecure. People always called me ugly and it has taken a toll on my self esteem because I have always believed it to be true. Even if people didn’t insult me I would still agree that I’m ugly. How can I attract guys when as a woman my whole worth is based on my appearance. I have a nice body but not the best face 😞

The problem is this....Confirmation bias. If you think that you’re stupid...You’ll go out your way to find instances in the past where you made mistakes to confirm that you’re right. If you think that you’re ugly or invaluable, you’ll only notice the times where people pointed out something wrong with you. Even if people love you and give you compliments....It’s NEVER enough for an insecure person. They will fixate on the one negative comment or thing and that’s all that they can see. It’s like your product getting 1000 positive but as soon as one person leaves something negative....That ruins your whole day and ability to be happy. You can see how weak that really is. It’s reactive. You need to be self-validated.

You don’t like the way you look? Why...Because you’re comparing yourself to other people instead of appreciating and improving what you do have. As a man....I can tell you that a woman with low self-esteem is not attractive to me. Other guys might like a weak-minded woman so they can control her....But they QUICKLY see after a few months that it isn’t sexy to have a pushover. I want a woman that genuinely like themselves..It’s not Ego, but they do have self-love.

A woman with self-love takes care of her body, style....and goes out of her way to make sure her future is set. With or without men in her life..She is happy. She devotes her time to her education and her goals and cares very little what other people think of her. That’s actually attractive.

How society makes it seem? That beauty is EVERYTHING. While I do appreciate looks....Without mindset, it’s useless.

LIKE YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF....And everything else will improve.

May God Bless You!

-Rhay.

My partner left after 2 years I’m still in love. We still talk often even though they found someone new over the last few months. I want that back I want to right my rights show that I’ve changed and that I’ll do better. Any tips ?

A breakup is not a punishment, it’s an opportunity for you to finally get your shit together. Too many people are stuck in relationships that are just not going anywhere. Even if you love someone, you realistically have to look at the future of you as a couple.

Are they committed to their goals?

Do they actually make you happy?

Are they loyal to you no matter what?

You’ll start to realize that even YOU don’t really have your life together and it’s better if you just stay alone for a while....Until you have worked on yourself to be able to offer someone something truly valuable.

t hurts to lose someone that you’ve invested so much time into...But what hurts worse is neglecting yourself in the pursuit of love.

Let go of the past and start over. It’s not about proving people “wrong” or “right” it’s about getting some stability in your life. You need to be stable mentally, physically, and financially before you really even think about bringing someone new in your life. What would you rather have? Peace of mind and potential success or a toxic relationship?

There is a difference between love and neediness...If you can’t let someone go, that’s neediness. If you understand and appreciate the time you had with people....Even if it’s over. That’s unconditional love. You need to love yourself unconditionally and other people.....Most importantly you need to practice forgiveness. A person that can forgive everything...Even themselves.......Understands everything. Only from a place of understanding can you improve and finally let go of the past.

May God Bless You!

-Rhay.

hi Rhay, i hope you are treating life well. Is there a way to work a 9-5 job but gain financial freedom at the same time? i want a career in Psychology, it is my passion, so can this be done whilst achieving financial freedom? i want both! 😩 What is the full definition of financial freedom anyway, what does it absolutely entail?

You need to develop high-income skills if you want to be financially free. That means something like sales, copywriting, or speaking. You should have five or six side hustles. Once you make enough money passively to cover your rent and living expenses- you can quit your day job. I don’t know why people quit their job immediately to pursue something that has a HIGH risk. Entrepreneurship is not for everyone…And you’ll see that if you try your hand at four or five ventures and they fail miserably. I used to sell clothing and accessories and I found that It just didn’t suit me well because I had to rely on human resources for the business to run.

To me, financial freedom is the ability to do what you want, when you want…Without worrying about how you’re going to afford it. It’s peace of mind. Ultimately, it’s time that makes people wealthy. Your time is your greatest asset. If you’re spending all your time working…You’re not free. The whole purpose of creating a business is so you don’t HAVE to work. A lot of guys are just self-employed but they think they’re business owners. Ultimately working 80-100 hours a week is being a slave to your business or career and isn’t a smart way to operate things. If you’re spending that much time on creating and studying, that’s fine. But your business should be able to run itself without you being there. Make things as passive as you can. Don’t trade your time for money…Use your money to create a system that saves you time.

May God Bless You.

-Rhay.

I’ve just broken up with my girlfriend of a year and a half as we’ve both graduated from high school and going to college in seperate places. Do you think breaking up is the best thing? It’s about a 6 hour drive. Also- what is the best way to get over her? Still a little hung up. Thanks

I don’t believe in long-distance relationships. If you have to travel for more than four hours to see her, it’s long-distance. Personally, I wouldn’t date a woman that lives more than 15 miles away from me. Communication is everything...and not just words...But the physical connection that you develop with someone. If I can’t have sex with you on a consistent basis, It’s just not worth it to me. I know a lot of guys that went on to marry their high school sweetheart...Some of them good, but A LOT of them are bad experiences. It’s because you need to go out and get socially calibrated. If you’ve only slept with the same woman for four years of your teens...You never really got the practice in of going out and approaching. Going out and meeting women will seem alien to you because you’re used to being with one woman only.

This affects guys in college because they get there and realize they don’t have game....They’ve only relied on their social circle to meet women- which is fine...But it only fucks you up when you do break up with that one girl that you’ve spent YEARS with and don’t know how to bounce back. You’ll be lost, hurt, and confused as to how to proceed in your dating life.

The best way to get over a woman is by accepting abundance. There are plenty of options...and while a relationship is a wonderful thing with the right person. You have to understand that people come and go. The only constant that will remain in your life is you.

May God Bless You.

-Rhay.

I’m a younger guy around 22. How do I get over a older woman whom I wanted to deal with. I feel as if I got attached. She didn’t want a relationship but still wants to go out and dates and be around each other like we are. How can I become unattached from her. God Bless

I like older women because of the fact that they don’t play games. They’ve been through a lot of relationships or flings and they know EXACTLY what they want. If she doesn’t want a relationship and is verbal about it, then it’s because she knows that she would be happier with something casual. To press the issue would be breaking her boundaries.

Not every woman wants to be held down in a relationship...and these numbers are increasing due to how terrible dating has been in the past decade for people. Relationships are shorter and more unsatisfying than ever now...You may talk to someone for two weeks and never again. A lot of girls are just tired of searching for the perfect guy and get what they need from three or four fuck buddies. Women love sex...Not every woman wants to deal with a man that doesn’t have his shit together mentally.

If you want a relationship with a woman, then you need to alter your dating style so that it suits that type. But I will say that getting into a relationship in your early twenties is typically a waste of time and money. Things that could have been invested in your education or building a business. Date around, play with your options, and DON’T get attached to something that has a HIGH possibility of failing in the first place.

May God Bless You!

-Rhay.

Why am I always getting friend zoned?

Guys put themselves in the friend zone. They think that if they just hang around a girl and be “nice” and do favors…That eventually she will see that they’ve loved her all along. This NEVER happens and the guy ends up butthurt when she tells him that she isn’t interested. There is a 100% way to avoid the friend zone and that is by making a move. If you wait four months before TOUCHING a woman or even trying to be assertive with her, she will subconsciously move on. A man needs to take sexual responsibility and lead. You’ll know RIGHT away if a woman isn’t interested in you if you go in for the kiss, try to hold her hand, or touch the small of her back as you move through a crowd. Now, this doesn’t mean that your touching should be creepy, constant, or aggressive… it should be done in a subtle and calibrated way that doesn’t make women feel uncomfortable. If you’re not willing to risk losing a woman, you never had what it mentally took to get her.

The issue with nice guys? They NEVER make a move. They think that if a woman likes them then they should initiate things. Which is ridiculous. Even if a woman does like you, the most she can do is be passive toward your game and allow it to happen. Why? Because to make a move on a man would make certain women feel slutty- is this actually true if a woman makes a move…Does it make her a slut? No…But it’s what society looks down on. You have to take that into consideration when you’re making your move. Try to do it in a classy way…That doesn’t put too much social pressure on the girl. Again, you need to be the guy that takes full responsibility if something does occur and be able to offer her plausible deniability so she can say “things just ended up happening”. But you NEED to make a move and it’s better if it’s done at the start of the relationship or interaction. If you’re willing to face rejection from the beginning as a man, you won’t have to fear getting rejected LATER as a “friend”.

May God Bless You!

-Rhay.

Are you still answering questions on here

Absolutely, I still answer questions here but I use my Twitter (Rhay1991) and my website more: Rhay.org

I will definitely come on here to answer as many questions as I can for two reasons:

1. I can write more here and answer people in detail.

2. It gives people another way to connect with me.

It will take some time to get up to speed but I will answer a question a day here the best that I can along with writing my daily twitter content for you guys as well.

May God Bless You

-Rhay

Top five books in no particular order- they are all good.

5. The Power of Now- This was the first book that really opened my eyes to mindfulness. Before I was stuck in my head because I would constantly be thinking of the past or stressing out about the future. If you’re constantly feeling like you’re hurting yourself because of your thoughts and they’re becoming a huge obstacle in the way of your peace of mind, this book is for you.

4. A New Earth- This book is the sequel to The Power of Now and on par with it’s predecessor. I particularly like this book because it teaches you to deal with the relationships in your life. With your spouse, children you have them, and your friendships. Every page is a joy to read and should be on your list to get.

3. The Secret- Now a lot of people think that this book is bullshit and the Law Of Attraction is bullshit. I would say that is true IF you don’t go out and hustle for what you’re trying to manifest. You won’t solve your problems by sitting on the couch feeling sorry for yourself…It’s going to take a lot of work and effort on your part. The universe meets you half-way and this is a perfect book for people looking to get into spirituality.

2. The Untethered Soul- This book is a gem. Not only because it just simply solves overthinking…It makes your stress and anxiety seem childish and amusing. I had quite a few laughs reading the first chapter because it was just…”That’s me, That’s me. That’s Me…..I do that too…..”. Is it as good as The Power of Now? I would say that it is but I would suggest getting both books so that you can get a broader perspective.

1. Tao Te Ching- The Fundamental book on Taoism- this is what every other book on stillness tries to be. It’s not overly complex and every sutra is very easy to understand and powerful. This was written by a master…and the greater skill of the master, the easier and simple it is for them to write and get their point across. Less words, more room for spirituality.

May God Bless You.

-Rhay.