The Anxious Truth

Author, Podcaster, Grad Student, Therapist-In-Training.  Talking about anxiety, anxiety disorders and mental health.  Find me at theanxioustruth.com

[theanxioustruth]

TRUTHS ABOUT WORRYING THAT YOU NEED TO HEAR

Worry is useless. It does not prove that you care. It does not express love. It does not make you a good person or an amazing parent, friend, or partner. Only YOU experience your worry. Worry does not create nor prevent real world outcomes. Worry is not planning. Planning is practical and has a limit. Worry is just thinking without associated action. Want to stop worrying so much? You'll have to let go of all these beliefs about worry and let the universe play itself out as it will. That's uncomfortable, but its the only way to learn that your worrying has accomplished nothing and is no longer needed.

[theanxioustruth]

I CAN'T ACCEPT ANXIETY!

But what choice do you have? When you want to ask how to accept or tolerate anxiety, stop and think about what this means. What does NOT accepting it even look like? Forget trying to "accept" it. Instead recognizing resistance, fighting and hanging on. When you ask how to accept anxiety, you're likely really asking how to stop fighting it because letting go of the fight seems so dangerous and risky.

It does feel dangerous and risky. But that doesn't make it actually dangerous. You're safe, even when anxiety tells you otherwise.

[theanxioustruth]

None Of This Is Easy

Consider that you are trying new things, learning new ways, building new skills and creating new patterns. You're breaking some old, ingrained habits that were based on trying to feel safe. NONE of that is easy!

Be kind to yourself while you do this work. Be careful about declaring failure or beating up on yourself for getting it "wrong". If we're learning from our experiences, there really is no wrong.

[theanxioustruth]

INTERNAL AVOIDANCE

Anxious people will often say that they are avoiding the highway, the supermarket, crowded places, social situations, or being too far from a safe place.

But really, anxious people are generally avoiding INTERNAL experiences. The feeling of anxiety or fear. The feeling of vulnerability or loss of control. The inner dialogue and internal thoughts about what anxiety means and what dangers it represents. The supermarket doesn't enter into it. The supermarket is just a trigger for the internal experience you want to avoid.

This might seem somewhat pointless but can inform how we approach recovery and exposure work. It's why anything that brings us face to face with the feelings, sensations and thoughts we fear (internal experiences) are opportunities to practice and move in a more productive direction.

[theanxioustruth]

"I Just Do Better If I Have Answers"

Anxious people sometimes insist that they can't get better or "handle" anxiety unless they can know, understand, and have certainty about what causes anxiety and what it means.

Fair, but if you've been looking for answers for any length of time and the answers you get are never enough, then you're seeing why "I do better with answers" is often something that can backfire and keep us stuck. Believe it or not, it is possible to get better even if you the answers you want so badly don't actually exist.

[theanxioustruth]

But If I Let Go ....

People struggling with anxiety disorders often argue that they have to fight against scary thoughts and sensations "just in case". They can't take the risk of letting go, allowing, and surrendering. There's too much at stake!

This is common sense, right? Maybe, but in recovery, common sense doesn't enter into it. Recovery is counterintuitive, goes against the natural drive to feel safe and certain, stomps all over standard self-help Insta-therapy advice, and is really hard work.

Sigh.

[theanxioustruth]

HOLDAY ANXIETY 🎄 Worried that it will be “too much”. Are you feeling the pressure to be perfect, make the perfect holiday for your family, or not ruin everyone’s day? Here are just a few reminders about some anxious thoughts that aren’t necessarily accurate. Just because your brain is saying something doesn’t make it something actually worth saying. Take a few steps backwards and a few breaths. It’s OK to just do the best you can. Nobody fails the holidays because it’s not a test. - #panicdisorder #theanxioustruth #agoraphobia #panicattackhelp #panicattacksupport #agoraphobiarecovery #psychoeducation #anxietyhelp #holidayanxiety #christmasanxiety #anxiousthoughts #cognitivedistortions https://www.instagram.com/p/Cmcgmw5pHUa/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[theanxioustruth]

"Inner Child" Work In Anxiety Recovery

Is recovery about inner child work? Well ... maybe. That's an individual thing. Just remember that while comfort, love, and soothing are important, a needs more than that to grow and thrive. Children are explorers and experiential learners too. Consider that your inner child needs to be encouraged and empowered, not just held and shielded.

[theanxioustruth]

CAN ANXIETY BE CURED, OR JUST MANAGED?

This is a hard question to answer primarily because we can’t seem to agree on what the words cure and manage mean in this context. Some expect to achieve (or promise) a never-anxious life. Others say that laying under heavy blankets and avoiding triggers is as good as it can get.

Why is there so much conflicting opinion when it comes to the cure/manage question?

[theanxioustruth]

When your therapist tells you that you have to learn to accept uncertainty and lack of control…

[theanxioustruth]

Hello Tumblr. Popping in over here since Twitter is literally burning down. Maybe I'll make this a thing. You can find all my stuff at theanxioustruth.com or feel free to just say hello if you find me.