Dee's Hensōjutsu AU

[theartofhensojutsu]

Hensōjutsu Masterpost:

Donnie gets brainwashed by the Foot instead of Raph in Clash of the Mutanimals. His brothers don't get him back.

He becomes a part of the Foot Clan.

Then, unexplainably, he's free of the worm.

He can go home! (He doesn't. This causes a couple problems.)

Hensōjutsu Playlist:

Not Yours To Save - Beth Crowley (Nightcore)

Bad Guy - John Michael Howell

Can You Hear Me - Munn

I Lost Myself - Munn

Hensōjutsu Clips - Timeline Order:

(Clips will be posted in the order that they are written and then organized by the order that they occur.)

Babysitting was not how Karai intended to spend her night...

(After The Deadly Venom) Donatello sees Splinter before any of the Foot do...

Every night, Donnie stares at himself...

Donnie'd never been a very good actor...

There are things that Donnie doesn't think about...

Donnie has a black eye...

Donnie thought he had time...

[theartofhensojutsu]

Do you think Donnie from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012 is a stalker towards April?

I'm going to assume you mean Canon Donnie, and this has nothing to do with the AU. Maybe I should have specified we do AU Asks here?

To answer your question-

No. No, I do not.

[theartofhensojutsu]

Things should make sense as more clips come out, but I am intentionally making some things more ambiguous, so if at any point you're like "what is HAPPENING rn" feel free to drop that in my Askbox. Allow me to fill in some of the blanks. Ya'll know I love chattin'

[theartofhensojutsu]

Donnie thought he had time.

Then he ran into his brothers at the docks.

He thought it would be easier this way. He couldn't speak or taunt, so they wouldn't have to hear him run their family name through the ground. All that seemed to do was spur them even more- creating a farce to get him alone? That's crafty work.

But not something their leader would draft on impulse.

No, his go-to is straight to conversation and persuasion.

Leo came up with it beforehand, not too long ago if their brothers remembered it clearly enough to jump on board. 

If they deem it a success, then they'll do it again. Donnie can't avoid it if he isn't allowed to say no, or give any say, or disobey a direct order. If he's told to walk right into their trap, he'll have to. Leo was willing to tie him up once; he could be willing to try his luck a second time.

They're preparing for something.

If he's right, they're going to try to get him out.

His persona won't last under their continuous view. They know him too well. Eventually, they'll figure out that there's no hypnosis or brainworm or mind control. Everything will fall apart. 

Worse, if Shredder learns that he left, he may not be as willing to take him back. He'll lose his only shot to fix everything.

He always knew this would have to be the last thing he did.

But Donnie just thought he'd have a little more time.

It might not be ready. It might not work.

But he doesn't have a choice. He's going to have to take the risk.

What's one more?

He has to try, and he needs to do it now.

With steady hands, Donnie goes for the vial.

He needs to find Karai.

[theartofhensojutsu]

Donnie has a black eye.

Leo sees it immediately, even in the low lighting of the area, mind racing as his little brother places himself between the cargo container and his family. There are Footbots all around him and Foot mutants on their way, but all Leo can focus on is the injury that was not present the last time that they fought.

He doesn't think any of them would have hit hard enough to cause that, which means that somebody else must have hurt him, maybe without allowing him to defend himself. He's only ever faltered when they were involved, fought free or shaken out for moments at a time. They have no way of protecting him when he's gone, and they can't be certain Shredder would allow him to protect himself.

The thought makes his chest burn with a whirl of emotions, all negative, most blends between fear and hatred.

He takes a breath, "Donnie-"

"Your eye!" Mikey gasps, showing that Leo had been in his head too long. "What happened!?"

Donnie doesn't answer, which is a first. His eyes dart off to the side, and that's when Leo sees Karai coming out of the shadows, sitting on the corner of the container. Her eyes are cold, and her casual smirk is missing. Leo misses her playful taunts and Donnie's whiny complaints more than words can describe.

"Donnie's lost speaking permissions. Haven't you, Donnie?"

She spins a small blade in her hand. Donnie faces to the side when his brothers look at him. Leo hasn't had an easy time reading his brother lately, but he knows that he couldn't have glimpsed relief- maybe shame? Shame about what, failing Shredder? Or maybe it has something to do with them?

Are they never going to hear his voice again? Is this a permanent punishment? Would he have done something to make it permanent?

Ice seeps down his back. Leo has the sudden urge to get closer, check on his mouth, his tongue, his throat, his-

"Did you do that?" Raph demands, one confirmation away from climbing up the crate and returning the favor. It's written all over his stance. Leo doesn't know how many times he's going to have to explain to him that they have two brainwashed siblings under Shredder's control. She's not to blame any more than Donnie is.

"Me? No." It's flat, almost bored. A small smirk creeps up her face as her gaze flicks back to Donnie. Leo doesn't recognize it, and he doesn't like that. "Donatello broke something that he wasn't meant to break. Father was pree-tty mad."

"So he hit him?!" Sometimes Leo wonders how much better things are in the world Mikey thinks he lives in. Raph is stuck in reality with him. "Bet he did more than one."

"He's a scientist. They deal with delicate experiments and instruments all the time." She flips her blade. "If he can't handle his responsibilities, then the right behaviors need to be reinforced. Right, Donatello?"

He nods curtly; gaze still locked on the distance.

"No," Leo hears himself say, louder than he meant to. Donnie's gaze darts to him, dull eyes so unlike his brother, even as he takes his reaction in. "No, that's wrong. I don't care what happened. He doesn't deserve that. Nobody would."

Donnie's chin twitches down, like someone fighting the urge to respond, mouth never opening.

Leo needs to get him out of the Foot's sight. He's more likely to falter when his focus is on his family and away from the Foot's direct control.

"What's in the crate?" Leo demands, even though it's the last thing on his mind. Karai drops down and extends her blade in a smooth motion. "Why don't you come find out?"

The leader glances at his brothers. They nod, assuring him that they're on board with the change of plans. Leo isn't sure why he bothers to ask anymore, because no matter what mission they're on, there's always one thing more important than whatever deals, guns, Kraang-business, or other schemes that the Foot are enacting.

They move, and the Foot moves to meet them.

The brothers act in sync, taking down bots and pulling the group apart, getting it down to a number that Leo is comfortable ditching his brothers with.

Leo steals a Footbot head.

He holds it up, shouting, "I got it!"

Confused stares get locked on his hands from their brainwashed siblings. Raph shouts, "Then get out of here!"

Leo starts running. Startled, Karai looks to the crate and then back at him, uncertain why he would want the head but unwilling to let him get away.

Then, mercifully- "Donatello, stop him!"

Donnie obeys without question. Leo evades, taking them only so far away from the battle, before disappearing into a shadow.

Donnie hops down into the moonlight, looking around with narrowed eyes, swerving left and right. He doesn't call out, mock, or taunt like he usually does. He stops near Leo's hiding place. Squints. Takes another cautious step forward.

Leo throws the head.

Donnie scrambles to catch it, and he takes advantage of the distraction to throw the bolas. It wraps around his hands, tying them together, weighted ends dragging him to the ground. He lands on his side, and then Leo is over him, shoving him down on his back.

He twists his hands, testing the trap, before fixing Leo with a puzzled stare. There was the Donnie that he knew, a briefly glimpse of familiarity that gets covered by a deadpan.

"We both know I'm not going to hurt you," Leo points out. "Just wanna check you out. Make sure you're okay. Unless you want to tell me?"

Donnie glances at the Foothead. Leo shakes his head, "I'll get to that in a minute."

He could tell him that he didn't give two mask tails about the hunk of robot, but if Donnie's still following orders to collect, then it's better he thinks there's a reason for it. Donnie fiddles with his wrists.

Leo grabs them and pushes them down, reaching to move his face. Donnie winces at gentle pressure near the swollen area.

"Sorry," Leo murmers, "Sorry. He must have hit you hard."

Donnie's gaze is on the night sky. Leo moves a bit and Donnie's eyes dart before they're pointed away again. Blatant eye contact avoidance, that's his little brother.

"Either this is fresh, or you haven't been putting ice on this." Leo worries. "Have they given you anything? To help it heal, for the pain, anything?"

Donnie pauses, and then shoots him a nasty, disapproving look.

Leo scans him over, laying a gentle hand on the faint discoloration around his throat. His little brother makes a strained noise, trying to lean away. Now that he's closer, he can see the scraps, scars, and bruising that liters him. The abuse had been going on for a while, no surprise there, but it seemed Shredder was getting more forceful.

His heart pounds. "Donnie."

His little brother refuses to meet his eyes.

"Will you talk," Leo pleads. "Or... Can you?"

His jaw locks.

Leo looks at the head. He points, and Donnie follows his finger. "I'll tell you what I want that for if you can."

Donnie looks at it, then at him.

He wants to know. For what reason, Leo can only guess, but he knows a little brother who needs answers when he sees one. He's on the edge with the temptation. He needs one more reason to fall over.

"I won't tell," Leo promises. "If telling means something like this would happen again, then you have to know I wouldn't risk that."

"Yeah," He complies, quiet enough that Leo can't tell if he's hoarse or intends to whisper. "I can."

"You can," Leo mimics, weight off his shoulders. "Good. That's good."

Donnie doesn't look like he agrees.

"Donnie, listen to me. You have to know what he did was wrong. You can't want that to happen again. If you come with us, we can-"

A hard eyeroll.

"Listen, listen," He pleads, "I know you think we're your enemies, and we're evil, and whatever else, but they can't be your allies if they're hurting you. We don't have to be friends. You don't even have to stay with us. Just- let us get you away from them, Donnie. Deep down, you have to know I wouldn't lead you wrong."

"The head," Donnie says, simple. There's an aftertone of triumph in it, but it's drowned in a bone-deep exhaustion. Leo's heart sinks. "You don't want it."

He swallows, "I..."

There's no point in lying to him once he knows the truth.

"I had to make sure you were okay."

The nod that he gets is one of acceptance. Then, Donnie throws himself at the leader. Leo catches his shoulders, and he spots the glint of metal leaving his belt. "Shoot-!"

Donnie slices through the rope and rolls to his feet, snatching the head and stepping back. Leo looks at him, baffled, and then realizes that it doesn't matter what he does or doesn't know. Karai gave a command.

They both know he has no choice but to follow through.

"Donnie..." He insists, "If you go back..."

"You said you wouldn't tell."

Fear. Real fear. He hasn't seen that in a long time. It strikes Leo in a soft, mushy, protective place. It also hardens his previously shaky resolve. "It wasn't a threat. It was a warning."

Donnie shuffles back, and then sprints away, likely returning to his captors. Leo follows after, landing by his brothers as Karai stays planted on the cargo container. Tiger Claw is below her; guns raised at them. Razhar is panting beside it, claws flexing. They have reinforcements.

He does a brief scan. Brothers are battered but fine to the naked eye.

Donnie hands Karai the Footbot head.

Karai looks it over and then holds it up, "What did you want with this?"

Raph sneers, "Wouldn't you like to know."

"I would. But if I have to force it out of you..." She warns lowly. "Take them."

The Foot moves. Leo shouts, "Dive!"

They spin and launch themselves off the side of the docks. They hit the water as shouts and shots ring out, fading off as they swim paces away. Then they double back, dripping wet from a safe vantage point, watching Karai yell at Donnie on the crate. He takes it, even when she slaps him, shock radiating in their little circle as she tucks the head under her arm and stomps off.

Donnie has Razhar in his face as soon as he touches the ground. The brute is saying something. Leo doesn't think it's very nice. Then Razhar throws him, sending him onto the dock. They can hear the long scrape of carapace against wood from there.

Leo has to grab Mikey's torso to prevent him from jumping down to stop it.

His baby brother looks up at him, betrayed.

They catch the tail end of a smug, "-ake yourself useful!"

Donnie gets up, brushes off his arm, and then follows Tiger Claw's dismissive directions.

Their brother disappears inside the crate.

Leo says, "We can't let this go on. We're doing this."

Mikey stops fighting him, hopeful. "You serious right now?"

"Very," He looks to the gaze locked on him. "I don't care if he wants our help or not. We're not leaving him there. We're not standing by. And I'm willing to deal with whatever consequences follow."

His brothers agreement is instantaneous.

"Now like now?" Raph demands. Leo shakes his head. "Now as in soon. We gotta be smart about this."

"Disobeying Splinter isn't very smart."

"I don't care about the risks. I'm willing to take all of them. The longer Donnie's under Shredder's roof, the more danger he's in. I can't stand by anymore."

"What about Karai?"

"Shredder still calls her daughter. She's okay for now." Someone shouts down below. "...And she's not the one getting used as a punching bag."

Neither of his brothers respond.

"Come on," He turns, calculating quickly. "We need reinforcements. We've got a brother to bring home."

[agodmustfeed]

it must be said that i simply love to watch a character destroy all their relationships in an attempt to get what they think they want only to achieve their goals and be lonelier and more depressed than ever. and to realize they can never go back and are trapped at the top of the hill playing their part. its the dream you never wake up from!!

[theartofhensojutsu]

Sticking some episode timelines up in the Masterpost for both of our sakes. (I keep forgetting what goes where, and some clips are directly infused with the episodes.)

[theartofhensojutsu]

Babysitting was not how Karai intended to spend her night.

"Thanks to you, now I have to rewrite my entire plan," The kunoichi mutters as she leans back in her chair. "You were my original target. Your capture was going to be the catalyst."

"Boo hoo," The bitter ninja mutters from above, lying across one of the rafters. "Sorry you couldn't see how much more effective I can be on your side instead of in your torture trap of ridiculous designations."

"They're meant to be- oh forget it."

"Hard to forget something so terrible."

She ignores him, "I suppose I could switch to Leonardo. Cripple the team before-"

"Bad idea."

"-they have a chance to-"

"Truly terrible."

"-recognize the danger that-"

"You want to know what I think?"

"My job is to watch you," She glares at the outline. "Your job is to not speak unless spoken to."

"Such a waste of intellect."

"He'll be on his guard with a clan member missing," She pushes on firmly, not allowing herself to be pushed around by a subordinate. "But he'll also be distracted, which means that I'll have the upper hand to lure him into a trap by using his-"

A soft snort.

"Nonverbal commentary is still commenting."

"Imagine having an available resource and neglecting it out of arrogant pride. Your father must be so proud of his little strategist."

Her fist hits the table. "Keep my father out of your mouth."

He expertly rolls over to look down at her. "You bore me. And when I'm bored, I run my mouth. Universal constant."

Two can play this game. "You are not leaving the base."

"Why not?!" He pushes himself up, getting to his feet so his arms are properly freed to throw about in emphasis. "My brothers are out there, scared and confused! I was the one to improve the team's weakness- their flaws- if I can fix, I am more than capable of breaking! I know what makes them want to hide in the darkest corners and never come out. Who is more equipped to hurt them than me?!"

"Your Master insists upon it."

"I have no intention of disobeying the Master," He sneers, "But that does not mean that I will not question the logic. He changed me because of my talents. They are WASTED like this!"

"Maybe if you would tell us where the lair is..."

"You know as well as I that the lair is too intricately connected to our memories of caring about them." He puts mocking emphasis on the word. "If we could remember, he would already have his rat."

"That is why I will bring him to us, so I might hand him over to father."

He sits down, bitter flame dissipating. "But you won't succeed."

"How can you be so confident?"

"You're going about this the wrong way."

She gives in, "And how's that?"

He slips off and drops to the ground. "You're trying to take down a clan, when you should be trying to take down a family."

Karai looks him up and down, eyebrow raised. "You're serious."

"Oh, very!" A new spark of life. "If you want to take down a family, if you want to give the strongest a reason to give in, you go after the smallest member. I've used him to my advantage plenty of times."

"Not in these circumstances, I assume."

He laughs. "No, nothing like this."

"Won't they be on the offensive once we have Michelangelo?"

"They will," He walks toward her. "That's the point. Their emotions will be high, panicked, and then once they see we've roughed up their precious baby brother up, they won't be thinking clearly when we make our demands. Once we have them all under our thumbs, their Sensei will walk willingly to his death."

Her eyes are dark. "Then we will have him."

"All of them," He reminds her. "Every. Single. One. But first..."

"Michelangelo." She repeats thoughtfully. "I know where to lure him, but you do know what roughed up means to the Foot."

"Allow every injury but the deadly ones."

"That's what you want. You want the Foot to do this?"

"No," He drops his metallic staff on the floor with a clang, leaning forward, wild eyes glinting a fiery red. "Not quite."

Donatello grins wide. "I want the Foot to let me do it."

[theartofhensojutsu]

To avoid confusion: just a couple dashes of evil Donnie and then we'll go back to our dearly misguided goober of a turtle

[theartofhensojutsu]

Donatello sees Splinter before any of the Foot do.

It's not a visual sighting, only a brief prickle down the back of his neck, something deep in his being recognizing the presence before it wants to be seen. He thinks there was a point where that was supposed to be a source of comfort, but he feels nothing, remaining seated near the window. He debates looking for the rat.

His eyes fall on the gashes across his forearm, stretching out his hand to remind himself of the burn, and he decides that someone else deserves to hurt like he is. He shouldn't be the only one punished.

Master Shredder was capable of handling himself. The rest of them took too much enjoyment from his suffering and needed a smackdown.

They certainly get one. 

Splinter jumps into the fray, revealing himself to the room and disposing of the bots who attempt to approach him. Donatello looks to his Master as Shredder stands up, watching his gaze go ablaze at the mere sight of him. Then he glances at Donatello, and his faithful servant smirks in return, and neither say a word. 

Razhar has gone down, groaning from the new wonderfully painful bump on his head. Then he gets to watch Tiger Claw get slammed through the glass and into the freezing water below. So deserved.

Donatello watches him sink under the water, catching the key moment when Splinter moves behind him. 

"Donatello?"

"Filth that raised me," He reaches idely for his staff and boney fingers grab his wrist. He doesn't bother to fight it. He bends his neck to look up at him. "I wasn't going to kill you. Shredder demands that pleasure."

"My son," His voice is riddled with weakness. Splinter can see the wounds. "What have they done to you?" 

"Improved him," Shredder speaks up. "Repaired the weakness you instilled. Brought him to his greatest purpose."

"His choices are not his own," Donatello finds it weird how little he cares for the edge to his old Sensei's tone. He thinks it used to spook him, at least. "His purpose should be of his own design."

"I think daa-ddy's maa-aad." Donatello singsongs, calculating the moment when his grip startles loose and pulling free. He slides to the ground, hops to his feet, and frees his staff. "Is this because I fought with my brothers? You know, brothers bicker sometimes, Splinter. You should let us fight our own battles."

"Not this time, Donatello."

"Fine, fine," He dismisses, because apparently Shredder just wanted to stand there and talk. "But do you like my new look? Black suits me, don't you think?"

He pretends to flick back the mask tails that he doesn't have anymore, just to drill his change in a little more. He can see the pain in his helpless stare.

"And you see this?" Donatello preens as he showcases the staff. He runs his hand along the smooth silver. "He let me build it. Has a little weight to it but it's great at cracking bones. You should see me in action. I can't believe you never let me do this. Easier for you to keep us weak, huh? Dependent? Some Sensei you were."

"My student is right." Shredder muses to Donatello's delight. Splinter's ears flatten. "But then again, he is the smart one of the bunch, is he not?" 

"He. Is. Your. Nothing." 

"He's my uncle." 

"Donatello." The tone is curt. His smile drops. "The Masters are talking."

A brief bow. "Sorry Master Shredder."

"You will give me my son now," Splinter growls, "Or I will stay here until you do."

"Take him," Shredder says with an agreeable wave. "I would love to see how long it takes until you bring him back."

Donatello raises his hand, leaning his body to give it more height.

"Donatello," Shredder welcome smoothly. He lowers his arm, grabbing the bo and stretching it out before him. "Hi, yeah, tradable merch willing to be bartered if that's Shredder's wish and all, but could we not?" 

Splinter deflates, "My son-"

"Yeah see? That," Donatello groans, "It's going to be so much of that. I'm going to kill him before we get to the lair."

"It seems Donatello is unwilling, rat." Shredder muses. "Perhaps today is not your day."

"Donatello please." Splinter gets down to his level, brimming with concern. "Let me remove you from here. Find a way to help you." 

Donatello yawns.

Tiger Claw breaches the water, pulling a contraption out of his mouth as sopping wet fur drips on the floor. He gasps for air. Upon seeing him, the turtle points and bursts into laughter. 

"I do not know, Yoshi," Shredder drawls. "He seems quite content. I believe it's time a beast learns how to let his ward go. Give him room to grow into what he chooses to become."

"I have always given him room," Splinter says darkly. "It is you who does not know how to loosen the leash."

"If you do not leash a dog," Shredder says eerily, "Then they bite."

Donatello perks up eagerly. When Shredder nods, he grins and taps on the side of his metallic bo, revealing the electronic rod. 

"Show him, Donatello."

[theartofhensojutsu]

Donnie'd never been a very good actor.

In fact, all of his brothers were terrible liars, except maybe Mikey, who knew how to spin a pretty good tale when he wanted to get out of trouble. Unless he felt guilty- it was his guilt that always gave him away in the end.

He supposed that it came with growing up in a household that never required liars. Twisting the truth to get away with something? Sure. But their father expected honesty, and he could smell a fib a mile away.

He never gave them a reason to truly fear getting caught, so it was easier to tell the truth.

Under the Foot's watchful eyes, he did nothing but lie, one crafted story after another, until it became pathological, a habit bred for survival, with a confidence that grew with everything that they believed.

Donnie didn't remember his time under the brainworm's control, only glimpses of camera feed that he reviewed whenever possible. He replicated dark grins, repeated ugly phrases, and bowed to Shredder with more stiff respect than he showed to his real Sensei. Anything that would solidify the illusion that nothing had changed.

But everything had changed. Donnie had changed, adopting new routines that made him feel paranoid, waiting endlessly for the shoe to drop. He'd learned how to insult by listening to the way the Foot spoke about his brothers, and how to take a hit when anyone in the Foot didn't like what he said, did, or how he briefly existed in their presence.

He stood by, and he listened as Shredder and Karai and the clan spoke about his father like he was the scum of the earth, agreeing when prompted, and squashed down the flame in his gut until it stopped igniting at the mention of his name.

Then, he'd go make sure something of Shredder's failed or blew up.

He found that stopping the problems before they started was much easier than finding the solution for the aftermath.

Donnie spent a lot of time repairing whatever he'd messed up or destroyed under their radar, which gave him time to ruminate.

He hated that.

All he ever did was miss his family, wonder what they were doing, hope that they were getting along with him. Then he'd debate the possibility of going home, fears piling into his chest, a mountain of reasons that they shouldn't accept him back.

Once he'd finish, he'd head back to Shredder, willing to accept every piece of abuse because that was the closest thing to a penance that he might ever get. It was the most effective distraction from his thoughts that he could find. His father would sooner banish him from their home than treat him in such a manner.

They really were polar opposites.

Splinter expected the best out of them, which was often hard to manage, but Shredder expected his worst. Every explosive emotion that Splinter had been teaching him to breathe through was instructed to be embraced and mastered. When his father would have been urging him to take a break, Shredder demanded more and more, going as far as drugging the energy in him until his body dropped. Splinter requested obedience as long as Donnie never broke his own moral code. Shredder demanded that his only desire be to serve his interests.

Donnie complied because it was too dangerous not to. Any mishap would lead to punishment or discovery.

There were multiple times when the urge to reach out to his brothers almost overwhelmed him. Where he'd see their turned shells as they ran off, escaping before the Foot could punish them for their latest intervention. One of them would look back, and it would take all of Donnie's willpower to keep both feet on the ground.

When everything got too much, Donnie would break in an alleyway, because fighting for a semblance of control behind a garbage dumpster was the safest that he ever felt.

He wanted to go home.

More than anything, he wanted to go home and fall to his knees and beg for the forgiveness that he didn't deserve.

Instead, he'd return to the Foot.

He'd stay, and he'd thwart, and he'd lie, and he'd take every hit swung his way. He'd treat his brothers like dirt, and curse his Sensei's name, and build things that would only hurt innocent people so that he could stop worse things from taking his family down.

He stayed. And he played the part of the villain.

But Donnie'd never been a very good actor.

[theartofhensojutsu]

Every night, Donnie stares at himself until his vision blurs.

Then he shakes clear his vision, rubs water onto his eyes, and trains his gaze to the screen to watch this strange, theatrical, sickeningly obedient clone act like someone else entirely.

But it wasn't a clone. He wishes it were a clone.

Those are his hands, his eyes, his limbs, his voice, his everything.

It was him.

If he could do it, Donnie had to be capable too.

So he swallowed his discomfort and replicated the expressions in the mirror until he was confident that the Foot wouldn't be able to tell the difference. He could see it in the micro-expressions and the tension of his jaw when he smirked, but even his brothers wouldn't know that this was a mock expression.

Maybe, maybe, if they had to question it, they might.

If he played his cards wrong, and they weren't fooled.

So Donnie stays determined and diligent.

He picks up the tablet and goes down beside the sink.

He misses coffee. He wishes there was more room to move, but he doesn't know if there's a camera out in the tiny excuse for a bedroom. He's unwilling to risk it. If he had found one in the bathroom, he wouldn't have even bothered with any of this, but it seemed to be camera-free, unlike almost every other room. The Foot truly didn't trust their own members, but that's unsurprising. It was built up through the birth of the Shredder and the death of Tang Shen.

It's very existence is a betrayal.

He wonders what he did, to go from the cell in the beginning feed of his brainwashing to an actual designated room. He wonders if they notice his frequent visits behind a closed door. He wonders what he might have done to earn enough trust to have a camera-free bathroom, and who he hurt for it.

"Whatever this macho act is, I'm not impressed." The clone points out as Fishface leers over the desk. He's holding a beaker and a vial in his hand. "This is explosive. Just enough to eat through turtle shell. Personally, I'd like to see what it does to fish scales just as much."

"I'm not impressed," Donnie mutters, trying to lock in on the tone. "Personally, I'd like to see what it did- does- what it does to fish scales. What it does..."

"Seriously, Baxter, this is beyond sad..."

"Seriously, Baxter..."

"We're going to give my beloved brothers a little venom soiree then? I'm in."

"A little venom soiree..."

"Yes Master Shredder."

"Right away Master Shredder."

"Of course Master Shredder."

"Thank you Master Shredder."

Donnie whispers every respectful phrase until he figures out how to rinse the disgust, sarcasm, and bitter edge from his tone. He paces the cold floor, watches his face in the mirror, and makes each and every gestures that he'd seen the clone make.

As more and more times passes, it becomes easier to guess what his arrogant clone might say or do. Phrases flow out in the right tone, and the smirk becomes a familiar expression. His responses grow quicker, the patterns become adaptable, and Donnie needs less and less time in the bathroom to practice. He starts to nail the role.

Everything about the success feels like a failure.

[imagionationstation]

I want to post these Hensōjutsu AU clips, but the issue is that some of them are unfinished, so either I need to post them in the order that they were written (omitting the ones that aren't finished like I would if I was online this whole time) or in canon events order (which means I may not post, like, half of them if I don't finish the ones in between).

Which Do You Prefer?

Everything that's finished! I just wanna see :D

Post in canon order! It'll be too confusing otherwise...

Neko Button

Voting ended onApr 16

*Friendly note: if they're posted in the order in which they were written, I will update the Donnie AU Masterpost to include these clips in the canon order. You can find the timeline. It'll just take a little work.

[imagionationstation]

Home stretch what's it gonna be?

[imagionationstation]

Yeah I figured this would either end in a tie or win by a single point

[imagionationstation]

I was just wondering if Christmas asks were still open and then i saw your reblog so,,,

10,,

Altered: "Donnie… What am I doing wrong?" "What aren't you doing wrong?!"

There are things that Donnie doesn't think about unless he has too.

It's a list of things, one of those rolled-up parchments that splay out on the concrete and keep going while the cartoon character looks on in shock. He's done a lot of things that he's ashamed of in the past few weeks.

The top of the list isn't filled with acts but crammed with emotions. Every twitch of smugness when he threw his brothers through a loop, every grin when he managed to stay a step ahead, and every bitter word that felt like dropping long-held weights onto the concrete.

Donnie was playing the part. He was playing the part because he had too. He was playing the part for the good of his family. And sometimes he stared at his reflection and wondered if he was playing it a bit too well. If it was too easy to pick up a blade against his brothers.

Shredder doesn't give him much time to ruminate. He's running Donnie like a machine- probably because that's what he'd been looking for when he'd shoved a brainworm into him and demanded servitude. Donnie doesn't remember the actual brainwashing part much. He does remember the suffocating feeling of wrong wrong wrong wrongwrongwrongwrongwrong that pigmentated every thought until even the brain worm couldn't tolerate it anymore.

He'd killed and flushed it before his brain fully comprehend what he'd vomited onto the floor. Then he sat there, right in the middle of Foot headquarters, stuck between what he should do and what he could do.

He should go straight home and tell his family he's okay.

He could stay here and put his status to good use.

Maybe it was because of how out of it he was, but he decided to see how long he could play the game. Maybe the stupidest thing he's ever done, or maybe the smartest- the jury's still out. He's effectively ruined weeks of Baxter's work, shoved viruses into files that he absolutely should not have the passwords too, and even threw off production for some huge torture chamber scheme that the brainwashed Karai was cooking up for his family. No one ever pointed it back to him.

Some of his lackies sure tried, but after Donnie's reckless behavior during the real brainwashing, Shredder was confident that he had him under his thumb. He was infected with a brainworm, after all. Shredder was there when it was crammed in.

With Donnie's continued pattern of immediate obedience and vocalizing seething hatred for his family, Shredder decided that it's actually because his followers are incompetent. Which they wholeheartedly are.

His brothers were also convinced that it was the brainworm. Then Donnie had slipped up. It was pure instinct, watching hot shrapnel heading for his baby brother, shoving him to the ground before it could impale his shell.

He'd tried to play it off, but the mask had fallen and Mikey wasn't as dumb as he looked. Heartless Donnie filled him with venom and left him to die- he didn't think to save his life, react like brothers do.

Mikey cornered him and he'd panicked, ditching the mission entirely. He couldn't let his brothers know that he was okay. They'd change their reactions to him entirely- question his methods, lesson their blows- they'd care too much and slip up detrimentally.

Unfortunately, his hypothesis was proven correct. They didn't know the full story, but his brothers knew something was off now- maybe they thought that the brainworm didn't have full control; maybe they thought there was something else wrong with his head, preventing him from coming home with them.

They were always reaching out, reasoning with him, begging for him to hear them. Donnie did hear them. So did the Foot.

The only positive was that Shredder thought it was them cracking, so desperate to get their brother back that they let their defenses slip.

He made sure to take advantage.

More accurately, he made Donnie take advantage. He was always the focus of their attention, no matter how important their missions were.

"How long are you guys going to do this?" Donnie leans on his staff, looking down at his brothers. "You know I'm going to have to call in the Footbots now, right?"

"Donnie," Leo's katana is in his hand. Thankfully, he stopped the whole 'look, I'm defenseless!' act a while ago. "We don't want to hurt you, but we are going to have to stop you."

He smirks down at them, the trademark smugness that they expect. "Do you always have to start our fights with a disclaimer? I know you don't want to fight me. That's what makes this so entertaining!"

"We know you don't mean that!" Mikey chimes in. "We're not mad at you, Donnie!"

"I'm a little mad at him." Raph points out to the chagrin of their two brothers. Good ol' Raph. "Getting tired of this whole routine."

"You and me both!" He stands straight, spinning his staff. "Let's make your end swift, shall we?"

"No, Donnie-"

He hits the alarm with his staff and then descends on his brothers.

Donnie thinks he hates how accepting they are of his brainwashed status. He had to fight them at full force, and they were barely giving it their half, more concerned with what they'd do to him than what he'd do to them. They'd given more than this in the dojo, which would explain why he's been getting so many over on them recently.

"Raph! Mikey!" Leo snaps abruptly. He has his oldest brother up against the wall. "You know what to do!"

They sprint off. The newly arrived Footbots follow.

"Another intervention?" There are cameras everywhere. Donnie's getting awful close to Leo's blade nicking his own skin. This is dangerous. He needs to rile him up, any way he can. "You know those don't work on me, right? Ha! I've grown past those! I make my own rules now."

"Your rules or Shredder's rules?" He's infuriated by the name, and he decides now is the time to fight back, kicking Donnie hard enough to knock him over. He sprints away from him. Phew. "You aren't thinking straight, Donnie. We know you're in there. I know you can hear me."

"Yeah, I hear you." He tosses throwing stars. The impale the wall directly behind Leo as he moves. "You won't stop talking! Ugh, it's exhausting. Don't you ever get tired of it?"

"You have no idea." He charges and Donnie meets him halfway. "But that doesn't mean I can just give up."

"It's what Captain Ryan would do. He does it all the time!" His bo strikes almost collides with Leo's head. Focus Leo! "One crew member turns his back and pew! Down for the count. I say you cut me off. I know you're dying to now that I'm not of any use for you."

"That's not true."

"Oh? Still can find a way to use me? Still got plans in mind?" Leo missteps and Donnie knocks him onto his back. "Sorry to disappoint, Captain, but I find it's easier with one master at a time, and your loser of a team is certainly not worth any of mine."

"I'm not talking to you as a leader." Leo pleads. "I'm talking to you as a brother. One who's worried about you."

"I'm not! I'm doing great!" Donnie stabs down and his older brother rolls out of the way. "You would not believe how freeing a misplaced moral compass is! Splinter was wrong, you know. Ninjas are far better off when honor doesn't have limitations."

Donnie's spent enough time under Tiger Claw's thumb. His senses are heightened to his boring gaze. He can't see him, but that tiger is here.

He initiates the fight again.

"That's- what worries- me!" Leo has to take both katanas out to keep up. "This isn't you! It's not- you, Donnie!"

"It is." Sorry Leo. "This is aaall me, baby!"

Donnie tries to prioritize the fight, but his older brother keeps reasoning and so he has to keep threatening and mocking and snapping things that he's not one hundred percent certain he doesn't mean. Maybe that's what makes the lying so easy, breeding them from his own thoughts and fears.

"We're going to find a way to reach you, Donnie. I swear."

"I don't think you'll want to do that." Donnie promises. "Might not like everything you find! Better to let me rot away here, less problems in the long run, really. What do you say, bro?"

"I don't care. I don't care."

Donnie knows that's not true. "You really want your good little scientist home, don't you? Life must be so hard with no one else solving all your problems. Who's going to fix things if Donnie's gone!"

"I can't- believe you- 'd believe that."

"Why not?" He backs up. His com is buzzing. He's being summoned. The burning on the back of his nape is gone. "Oop! Boss is calling!"

"No- Donnie, stay here. Let's talk about this!"

"I have nothing I want to say to you." He has to go now. Shredder does not tolerate anything but exact obedience. "Going now!"

"No!" Leo grabs him. Donnie doesn't know why he slows so he can. It's not the smart thing to do. They fall and he slams his beak into the floor. "Ah-"

Leo scrambles back. Donnie sits up, blood on his hand. "Aw, jeez."

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry-" His older brothers panics. "That wasn't on purpose! I didn't think I'd-"

"Should've hit me harder." I know. It's okay. "Can't get rid of me unless you really slam it."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Really," He wiggles his fingers, "Coulda fooled me." I'm sorry. "Wouldn't blame you, really. I'd want to hurt me too."

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't- I can't-" Leo shakes his head, helpless. "How do I reach you? Donnie… What am I doing wrong?"

Donnie laughs, "What aren't you doing wrong?!"

Leo looks stricken, standing with Donnie.

"You're making this all really hard, you know that?!" He wipes away the blood. "You just can't let me go!"

"I can," He says solemnly. "But I won't. I won't."

"You problem," Donnie turns his shell. "Get over it. I sure have."

Leo follows him back to their brothers and the big battle. Donnie'd already messed with the new Kraang shipment. All he needed was for his brothers to try and deactivate them so the blame would have a place to land. He hopes they've had that chance. He can't wait any longer.

At the opportune time, he takes the kill switch from his belt. One gun in each crate explodes, catching him directly in the crossfire, which he knew would help his story of innocence later.

He's caught in the crossfire, and then in his brother's arms.

Raph's over him when they land, taking as much of the damage as he can. Not part of Donnie's plan, but he lets it happen, curling small like he used to when he didn't have to spend every day and night waiting for the worst. He's a little brother again, not a scientist or a warrior or their enemy's servant- just for a few seconds, the blast of an explosion.

Then it's over and Raph's looking down at him in his familiar gruff worry, both of them catching their breaths. Donnie has to shove away from him, scrambling to his feet without looking back. His brother says his name and he moves faster, gaining traction and putting some distance, running to catch up with the escaping Foot.

Shredder's not pleased with their end results.

Donnie isn't either. He didn't mean for Raph to be that close when it went off.

There's still blood on his face. He spits some line about how he wasn't supposed to return stained in his own. It's partly true. He knows that this tiny infraction is going to hurt Leo more than any wound.

He doesn't want to think about that. He can't afford too.

When he doesn't, it's easier to pretend that every traitorous act isn't another reason to play the part and avoid going home. If Shredder discovers the truth, he's dead. If his brothers found out-

His could might be what overlaps their won't.

[imagionationstation]

Lowkey feel like I should AU this...

[imagionationstation]

Once again I thought the smart thing to do was to wait until I can draw Donnie (in his foot gear) to post anything because my toxic trait kicked in and convinced me that I could draw (I can't).

And then I got sad. (There's a reason people call it toxic. RIP)

I have come up with the solution. I made another blog

I am sad no more ✨