the other day i was scrolling pinterest, and i saw this manga panel redraw of jjk and i KNEWW i had to draw it, like the idea stuck with me and as soon i had time i did it.
At first it was a struggle to choose wich characters to use, if it were four instead of three then i obviously would have done the turtles, but becase its not and i didnt want to leave a single turtle behind then i though to do this manga panel and the other one, the one with yuji, todo and mahito, so like a pair of brothers against an adversary for each drawing. (that means that this has part 2 lmao)
I honestly dont know which one i like most, the colored one or the one in white and black, like i love how this one looks like an actual manga panel (or thats what i like to think lmao) but i also lovee how the i've rendered the colored one, like i genuinely cant decide
I'm completely obsessed with the dynamic between these two. I like to think that sometimes, even unintentionally, Saki remembers moments when he didn't hate his older brother.
I was just wondering if Christmas asks were still open and then i saw your reblog so,,,
10,,
Altered:
"Donnie… What am I doing wrong?"
"What aren't you doing wrong?!"
There are things that Donnie doesn't think about unless he has too.
It's a list of things, one of those rolled-up parchments that splay out on the concrete and keep going while the cartoon character looks on in shock. He's done a lot of things that he's ashamed of in the past few weeks.
The top of the list isn't filled with acts but crammed with emotions. Every twitch of smugness when he threw his brothers through a loop, every grin when he managed to stay a step ahead, and every bitter word that felt like dropping long-held weights onto the concrete.
Donnie was playing the part. He was playing the part because he had too. He was playing the part for the good of his family. And sometimes he stared at his reflection and wondered if he was playing it a bit too well. If it was too easy to pick up a blade against his brothers.
Shredder doesn't give him much time to ruminate. He's running Donnie like a machine- probably because that's what he'd been looking for when he'd shoved a brainworm into him and demanded servitude. Donnie doesn't remember the actual brainwashing part much. He does remember the suffocating feeling of wrong wrong wrong wrongwrongwrongwrongwrong that pigmentated every thought until even the brain worm couldn't tolerate it anymore.
He'd killed and flushed it before his brain fully comprehend what he'd vomited onto the floor. Then he sat there, right in the middle of Foot headquarters, stuck between what he should do and what he could do.
He should go straight home and tell his family he's okay.
He could stay here and put his status to good use.
Maybe it was because of how out of it he was, but he decided to see how long he could play the game. Maybe the stupidest thing he's ever done, or maybe the smartest- the jury's still out. He's effectively ruined weeks of Baxter's work, shoved viruses into files that he absolutely should not have the passwords too, and even threw off production for some huge torture chamber scheme that the brainwashed Karai was cooking up for his family. No one ever pointed it back to him.
Some of his lackies sure tried, but after Donnie's reckless behavior during the real brainwashing, Shredder was confident that he had him under his thumb. He was infected with a brainworm, after all. Shredder was there when it was crammed in.
With Donnie's continued pattern of immediate obedience and vocalizing seething hatred for his family, Shredder decided that it's actually because his followers are incompetent. Which they wholeheartedly are.
His brothers were also convinced that it was the brainworm. Then Donnie had slipped up. It was pure instinct, watching hot shrapnel heading for his baby brother, shoving him to the ground before it could impale his shell.
He'd tried to play it off, but the mask had fallen and Mikey wasn't as dumb as he looked. Heartless Donnie filled him with venom and left him to die- he didn't think to save his life, react like brothers do.
Mikey cornered him and he'd panicked, ditching the mission entirely. He couldn't let his brothers know that he was okay. They'd change their reactions to him entirely- question his methods, lesson their blows- they'd care too much and slip up detrimentally.
Unfortunately, his hypothesis was proven correct. They didn't know the full story, but his brothers knew something was off now- maybe they thought that the brainworm didn't have full control; maybe they thought there was something else wrong with his head, preventing him from coming home with them.
They were always reaching out, reasoning with him, begging for him to hear them. Donnie did hear them. So did the Foot.
The only positive was that Shredder thought it was them cracking, so desperate to get their brother back that they let their defenses slip.
He made sure to take advantage.
More accurately, he made Donnie take advantage. He was always the focus of their attention, no matter how important their missions were.
"How long are you guys going to do this?" Donnie leans on his staff, looking down at his brothers. "You know I'm going to have to call in the Footbots now, right?"
"Donnie," Leo's katana is in his hand. Thankfully, he stopped the whole 'look, I'm defenseless!' act a while ago. "We don't want to hurt you, but we are going to have to stop you."
He smirks down at them, the trademark smugness that they expect. "Do you always have to start our fights with a disclaimer? I know you don't want to fight me. That's what makes this so entertaining!"
"We know you don't mean that!" Mikey chimes in. "We're not mad at you, Donnie!"
"I'm a little mad at him." Raph points out to the chagrin of their two brothers. Good ol' Raph. "Getting tired of this whole routine."
"You and me both!" He stands straight, spinning his staff. "Let's make your end swift, shall we?"
"No, Donnie-"
He hits the alarm with his staff and then descends on his brothers.
Donnie thinks he hates how accepting they are of his brainwashed status. He had to fight them at full force, and they were barely giving it their half, more concerned with what they'd do to him than what he'd do to them. They'd given more than this in the dojo, which would explain why he's been getting so many over on them recently.
"Raph! Mikey!" Leo snaps abruptly. He has his oldest brother up against the wall. "You know what to do!"
They sprint off. The newly arrived Footbots follow.
"Another intervention?" There are cameras everywhere. Donnie's getting awful close to Leo's blade nicking his own skin. This is dangerous. He needs to rile him up, any way he can. "You know those don't work on me, right? Ha! I've grown past those! I make my own rules now."
"Your rules or Shredder's rules?" He's infuriated by the name, and he decides now is the time to fight back, kicking Donnie hard enough to knock him over. He sprints away from him. Phew. "You aren't thinking straight, Donnie. We know you're in there. I know you can hear me."
"Yeah, I hear you." He tosses throwing stars. The impale the wall directly behind Leo as he moves. "You won't stop talking! Ugh, it's exhausting. Don't you ever get tired of it?"
"You have no idea." He charges and Donnie meets him halfway. "But that doesn't mean I can just give up."
"It's what Captain Ryan would do. He does it all the time!" His bo strikes almost collides with Leo's head. Focus Leo! "One crew member turns his back and pew! Down for the count. I say you cut me off. I know you're dying to now that I'm not of any use for you."
"That's not true."
"Oh? Still can find a way to use me? Still got plans in mind?" Leo missteps and Donnie knocks him onto his back. "Sorry to disappoint, Captain, but I find it's easier with one master at a time, and your loser of a team is certainly not worth any of mine."
"I'm not talking to you as a leader." Leo pleads. "I'm talking to you as a brother. One who's worried about you."
"I'm not! I'm doing great!" Donnie stabs down and his older brother rolls out of the way. "You would not believe how freeing a misplaced moral compass is! Splinter was wrong, you know. Ninjas are far better off when honor doesn't have limitations."
Donnie's spent enough time under Tiger Claw's thumb. His senses are heightened to his boring gaze. He can't see him, but that tiger is here.
He initiates the fight again.
"That's- what worries- me!" Leo has to take both katanas out to keep up. "This isn't you! It's not- you, Donnie!"
"It is." Sorry Leo. "This is aaall me, baby!"
Donnie tries to prioritize the fight, but his older brother keeps reasoning and so he has to keep threatening and mocking and snapping things that he's not one hundred percent certain he doesn't mean. Maybe that's what makes the lying so easy, breeding them from his own thoughts and fears.
"We're going to find a way to reach you, Donnie. I swear."
"I don't think you'll want to do that." Donnie promises. "Might not like everything you find! Better to let me rot away here, less problems in the long run, really. What do you say, bro?"
"I don't care. I don't care."
Donnie knows that's not true. "You really want your good little scientist home, don't you? Life must be so hard with no one else solving all your problems. Who's going to fix things if Donnie's gone!"
"I can't- believe you- 'd believe that."
"Why not?" He backs up. His com is buzzing. He's being summoned. The burning on the back of his nape is gone. "Oop! Boss is calling!"
"No- Donnie, stay here. Let's talk about this!"
"I have nothing I want to say to you." He has to go now. Shredder does not tolerate anything but exact obedience. "Going now!"
"No!" Leo grabs him. Donnie doesn't know why he slows so he can. It's not the smart thing to do. They fall and he slams his beak into the floor. "Ah-"
Leo scrambles back. Donnie sits up, blood on his hand. "Aw, jeez."
"I'm sorry- I'm sorry-" His older brothers panics. "That wasn't on purpose! I didn't think I'd-"
"Should've hit me harder." I know. It's okay. "Can't get rid of me unless you really slam it."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Really," He wiggles his fingers, "Coulda fooled me." I'm sorry. "Wouldn't blame you, really. I'd want to hurt me too."
"I don't want to hurt you. I don't- I can't-" Leo shakes his head, helpless. "How do I reach you? Donnie… What am I doing wrong?"
Donnie laughs, "What aren't you doing wrong?!"
Leo looks stricken, standing with Donnie.
"You're making this all really hard, you know that?!" He wipes away the blood. "You just can't let me go!"
"I can," He says solemnly. "But I won't. I won't."
"You problem," Donnie turns his shell. "Get over it. I sure have."
Leo follows him back to their brothers and the big battle. Donnie'd already messed with the new Kraang shipment. All he needed was for his brothers to try and deactivate them so the blame would have a place to land. He hopes they've had that chance. He can't wait any longer.
At the opportune time, he takes the kill switch from his belt. One gun in each crate explodes, catching him directly in the crossfire, which he knew would help his story of innocence later.
He's caught in the crossfire, and then in his brother's arms.
Raph's over him when they land, taking as much of the damage as he can. Not part of Donnie's plan, but he lets it happen, curling small like he used to when he didn't have to spend every day and night waiting for the worst. He's a little brother again, not a scientist or a warrior or their enemy's servant- just for a few seconds, the blast of an explosion.
Then it's over and Raph's looking down at him in his familiar gruff worry, both of them catching their breaths. Donnie has to shove away from him, scrambling to his feet without looking back. His brother says his name and he moves faster, gaining traction and putting some distance, running to catch up with the escaping Foot.
Shredder's not pleased with their end results.
Donnie isn't either. He didn't mean for Raph to be that close when it went off.
There's still blood on his face. He spits some line about how he wasn't supposed to return stained in his own. It's partly true. He knows that this tiny infraction is going to hurt Leo more than any wound.
He doesn't want to think about that. He can't afford too.
When he doesn't, it's easier to pretend that every traitorous act isn't another reason to play the part and avoid going home. If Shredder discovers the truth, he's dead. If his brothers found out-
Leo sees it immediately, even in the low lighting of the area, mind racing as his little brother places himself between the cargo container and his family. There are Footbots all around him and Foot mutants on their way, but all Leo can focus on is the injury that was not present the last time that they fought.
He doesn't think any of them would have hit hard enough to cause that, which means that somebody else must have hurt him, maybe without allowing him to defend himself. He's only ever faltered when they were involved, fought free or shaken out for moments at a time. They have no way of protecting him when he's gone, and they can't be certain Shredder would allow him to protect himself.
The thought makes his chest burn with a whirl of emotions, all negative, most blends between fear and hatred.
He takes a breath, "Donnie-"
"Your eye!" Mikey gasps, showing that Leo had been in his head too long. "What happened!?"
Donnie doesn't answer, which is a first. His eyes dart off to the side, and that's when Leo sees Karai coming out of the shadows, sitting on the corner of the container. Her eyes are cold, and her casual smirk is missing. Leo misses her playful taunts and Donnie's whiny complaints more than words can describe.
"Donnie's lost speaking permissions. Haven't you, Donnie?"
She spins a small blade in her hand. Donnie faces to the side when his brothers look at him. Leo hasn't had an easy time reading his brother lately, but he knows that he couldn't have glimpsed relief- maybe shame? Shame about what, failing Shredder? Or maybe it has something to do with them?
Are they never going to hear his voice again? Is this a permanent punishment? Would he have done something to make it permanent?
Ice seeps down his back. Leo has the sudden urge to get closer, check on his mouth, his tongue, his throat, his-
"Did you do that?" Raph demands, one confirmation away from climbing up the crate and returning the favor. It's written all over his stance. Leo doesn't know how many times he's going to have to explain to him that they have two brainwashed siblings under Shredder's control. She's not to blame any more than Donnie is.
"Me? No." It's flat, almost bored. A small smirk creeps up her face as her gaze flicks back to Donnie. Leo doesn't recognize it, and he doesn't like that. "Donatello broke something that he wasn't meant to break. Father was pree-tty mad."
"So he hit him?!" Sometimes Leo wonders how much better things are in the world Mikey thinks he lives in. Raph is stuck in reality with him. "Bet he did more than one."
"He's a scientist. They deal with delicate experiments and instruments all the time." She flips her blade. "If he can't handle his responsibilities, then the right behaviors need to be reinforced. Right, Donatello?"
He nods curtly; gaze still locked on the distance.
"No," Leo hears himself say, louder than he meant to. Donnie's gaze darts to him, dull eyes so unlike his brother, even as he takes his reaction in. "No, that's wrong. I don't care what happened. He doesn't deserve that. Nobody would."
Donnie's chin twitches down, like someone fighting the urge to respond, mouth never opening.
Leo needs to get him out of the Foot's sight. He's more likely to falter when his focus is on his family and away from the Foot's direct control.
"What's in the crate?" Leo demands, even though it's the last thing on his mind. Karai drops down and extends her blade in a smooth motion. "Why don't you come find out?"
The leader glances at his brothers. They nod, assuring him that they're on board with the change of plans. Leo isn't sure why he bothers to ask anymore, because no matter what mission they're on, there's always one thing more important than whatever deals, guns, Kraang-business, or other schemes that the Foot are enacting.
They move, and the Foot moves to meet them.
The brothers act in sync, taking down bots and pulling the group apart, getting it down to a number that Leo is comfortable ditching his brothers with.
Leo steals a Footbot head.
He holds it up, shouting, "I got it!"
Confused stares get locked on his hands from their brainwashed siblings. Raph shouts, "Then get out of here!"
Leo starts running. Startled, Karai looks to the crate and then back at him, uncertain why he would want the head but unwilling to let him get away.
Then, mercifully- "Donatello, stop him!"
Donnie obeys without question. Leo evades, taking them only so far away from the battle, before disappearing into a shadow.
Donnie hops down into the moonlight, looking around with narrowed eyes, swerving left and right. He doesn't call out, mock, or taunt like he usually does. He stops near Leo's hiding place. Squints. Takes another cautious step forward.
Leo throws the head.
Donnie scrambles to catch it, and he takes advantage of the distraction to throw the bolas. It wraps around his hands, tying them together, weighted ends dragging him to the ground. He lands on his side, and then Leo is over him, shoving him down on his back.
He twists his hands, testing the trap, before fixing Leo with a puzzled stare. There was the Donnie that he knew, a briefly glimpse of familiarity that gets covered by a deadpan.
"We both know I'm not going to hurt you," Leo points out. "Just wanna check you out. Make sure you're okay. Unless you want to tell me?"
Donnie glances at the Foothead. Leo shakes his head, "I'll get to that in a minute."
He could tell him that he didn't give two mask tails about the hunk of robot, but if Donnie's still following orders to collect, then it's better he thinks there's a reason for it. Donnie fiddles with his wrists.
Leo grabs them and pushes them down, reaching to move his face. Donnie winces at gentle pressure near the swollen area.
"Sorry," Leo murmers, "Sorry. He must have hit you hard."
Donnie's gaze is on the night sky. Leo moves a bit and Donnie's eyes dart before they're pointed away again. Blatant eye contact avoidance, that's his little brother.
"Either this is fresh, or you haven't been putting ice on this." Leo worries. "Have they given you anything? To help it heal, for the pain, anything?"
Donnie pauses, and then shoots him a nasty, disapproving look.
Leo scans him over, laying a gentle hand on the faint discoloration around his throat. His little brother makes a strained noise, trying to lean away. Now that he's closer, he can see the scraps, scars, and bruising that liters him. The abuse had been going on for a while, no surprise there, but it seemed Shredder was getting more forceful.
His heart pounds. "Donnie."
His little brother refuses to meet his eyes.
"Will you talk," Leo pleads. "Or... Can you?"
His jaw locks.
Leo looks at the head. He points, and Donnie follows his finger. "I'll tell you what I want that for if you can."
Donnie looks at it, then at him.
He wants to know. For what reason, Leo can only guess, but he knows a little brother who needs answers when he sees one. He's on the edge with the temptation. He needs one more reason to fall over.
"I won't tell," Leo promises. "If telling means something like this would happen again, then you have to know I wouldn't risk that."
"Yeah," He complies, quiet enough that Leo can't tell if he's hoarse or intends to whisper. "I can."
"You can," Leo mimics, weight off his shoulders. "Good. That's good."
Donnie doesn't look like he agrees.
"Donnie, listen to me. You have to know what he did was wrong. You can't want that to happen again. If you come with us, we can-"
A hard eyeroll.
"Listen, listen," He pleads, "I know you think we're your enemies, and we're evil, and whatever else, but they can't be your allies if they're hurting you. We don't have to be friends. You don't even have to stay with us. Just- let us get you away from them, Donnie. Deep down, you have to know I wouldn't lead you wrong."
"The head," Donnie says, simple. There's an aftertone of triumph in it, but it's drowned in a bone-deep exhaustion. Leo's heart sinks. "You don't want it."
He swallows, "I..."
There's no point in lying to him once he knows the truth.
"I had to make sure you were okay."
The nod that he gets is one of acceptance. Then, Donnie throws himself at the leader. Leo catches his shoulders, and he spots the glint of metal leaving his belt. "Shoot-!"
Donnie slices through the rope and rolls to his feet, snatching the head and stepping back. Leo looks at him, baffled, and then realizes that it doesn't matter what he does or doesn't know. Karai gave a command.
They both know he has no choice but to follow through.
"Donnie..." He insists, "If you go back..."
"You said you wouldn't tell."
Fear. Real fear. He hasn't seen that in a long time. It strikes Leo in a soft, mushy, protective place. It also hardens his previously shaky resolve. "It wasn't a threat. It was a warning."
Donnie shuffles back, and then sprints away, likely returning to his captors. Leo follows after, landing by his brothers as Karai stays planted on the cargo container. Tiger Claw is below her; guns raised at them. Razhar is panting beside it, claws flexing. They have reinforcements.
He does a brief scan. Brothers are battered but fine to the naked eye.
Donnie hands Karai the Footbot head.
Karai looks it over and then holds it up, "What did you want with this?"
Raph sneers, "Wouldn't you like to know."
"I would. But if I have to force it out of you..." She warns lowly. "Take them."
The Foot moves. Leo shouts, "Dive!"
They spin and launch themselves off the side of the docks. They hit the water as shouts and shots ring out, fading off as they swim paces away. Then they double back, dripping wet from a safe vantage point, watching Karai yell at Donnie on the crate. He takes it, even when she slaps him, shock radiating in their little circle as she tucks the head under her arm and stomps off.
Donnie has Razhar in his face as soon as he touches the ground. The brute is saying something. Leo doesn't think it's very nice. Then Razhar throws him, sending him onto the dock. They can hear the long scrape of carapace against wood from there.
Leo has to grab Mikey's torso to prevent him from jumping down to stop it.
His baby brother looks up at him, betrayed.
They catch the tail end of a smug, "-ake yourself useful!"
Donnie gets up, brushes off his arm, and then follows Tiger Claw's dismissive directions.
Their brother disappears inside the crate.
Leo says, "We can't let this go on. We're doing this."
Mikey stops fighting him, hopeful. "You serious right now?"
"Very," He looks to the gaze locked on him. "I don't care if he wants our help or not. We're not leaving him there. We're not standing by. And I'm willing to deal with whatever consequences follow."
His brothers agreement is instantaneous.
"Now like now?" Raph demands. Leo shakes his head. "Now as in soon. We gotta be smart about this."
"Disobeying Splinter isn't very smart."
"I don't care about the risks. I'm willing to take all of them. The longer Donnie's under Shredder's roof, the more danger he's in. I can't stand by anymore."
"What about Karai?"
"Shredder still calls her daughter. She's okay for now." Someone shouts down below. "...And she's not the one getting used as a punching bag."
Neither of his brothers respond.
"Come on," He turns, calculating quickly. "We need reinforcements. We've got a brother to bring home."
