datbrownchic

[theasianbaddie]

IT AIN'T EASY

IT AIN’T EASY

They say it gets easy as you grow up.Yes they were right. It gets easy to get habitual of the negative surroundings of you. It gets easy to hear what you never wanted to hear. It gets easy to think you’re worth nothing and getting on with your life because that’s what we’ve always been taught. Who said it gets easy to deal with the pain? Dealing with pain and trauma is not something which comes…

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[theasianbaddie]

Birthdays are overrated

[theasianbaddie]

On the verge of giving up

[theasianbaddie]

Imagine begging for a sisterly bond from your sibling

[theasianbaddie]

Sometimes i wonder if anyone is glad to have me in their life.

- Unknown Author

[theasianbaddie]

Thought it was alright to be myself... But then why is it that I don't have friends around me? Why is it that my parents don't wanna hear me blabbering about how my day went? Why is it that my sister won't even glance at me while I'm talking to her? Why is it that nobody would give a fuck about how I'm feeling? The ones I used to call friends, don't even wanna talk to me, and when I ask them about why they be behaving like that, they just toss me aside. It hurts. It hurts to always smile around and being myself while I'm getting hurt continuously by everybody around me. I know people call me ugly when I'm not around, i know how they talk about me being excited over nothing, I know they call me an attention seeking wh*re behind my back, cause they don't got no guts to say it to my face. I don't really care what people think about me. But sometimes I think maybe I deserve the hate? Maybe I'm not that of a good person some people thought I was? Maybe they're right and I'm the most selfish person they've ever met? Maybe I'm too ugly to be seen with them in public? Maybe I should just stop interacting at all and try to be happy with the things I have? I wish it was a bit easier to not feel all of it. I'm sometimes grateful when I wanna cry and there are no tears left to cry, cause I've been doing it for too long. But that numb feeling everyday I come across... It's weird. It's weird to have no feelings at all when I used to have a lot of them before. It's weird to read books and watch movies or series or dramas to feel something. It's weird to have emotions only when I'm watching or reading something.

I wish it wasn't this lonelier. I wish somebody would be a friend to me. I wish somebody would appreciate me for who I am and not for the fake acts I try to put on to get them to like me. I wish it wasn't this hard for people like me out there.

If you related to how I feel, I just wanted to let you know that you're free to dm me whenever you feel this way and I'll be your friend who'll listen to you and appreciate you ^^

[theasianbaddie]

Is it weird that I have a sister and I still crave sisterly bonding?

[theasianbaddie]

Is it only me who doesn't give a fuck about new year?

[theasianbaddie]

UGLY OR BEAUTIFUL?

I remember the first time I got called out for being ugly. I was a kid and I never really gave a damn about my appearance, until a teacher from my school humiliated me in front of the whole class because I looked ugly. I also remember her telling me later how it was just a ‘joke’. I was a kid but I don’t know why I smiled and said “I didn’t mind”. Because I clearly remember going back home and…

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[theasianbaddie]

Ugly or beautiful?

I remember the first time I got called out for being ugly. I was a kid and I never really gave a damn about my appearance, until a teacher from my school humiliated me in front of the whole class because I looked ugly.

I also remember her telling me later how it was just a 'joke'. I was a kid but I don't know why I smiled and said "I didn't mind". Because I clearly remember going back home and standing in front of the mirror crying looking at the ugliest person on earth.

It's not like I can really help with the way I look. Calling people out just because they don't look the way you want, is not ugly.

I also remember the first time I was called beautiful. It was weird hearing someone complimenting me, cause all my life people have either hated me or humiliated me. Spending a lot of my nights crying, cause everyone used to pick out on me, because I never dressed the way other girls did, never made my hair in a way so it'd look beautiful to others.

I might not be the definition of the word 'beautiful'. I might not be the perfect example of 'ugly'. I might not be what you want me to be. But you have no right to call out on people on how they look, dress and present themselves in front of others.

Is it that hard to appreciate someone for trying and looking like they want to be in a world where people are judgemental. No matter how happy people look, know that they have insecurities. Insecurities that you might trigger in a very ugly manner. Insecurities that might start building up which was never there, because of what you might've said in a joking manner. For some it's not easy to get over these insecurities, some people take years and years to try to start loving themselves.

It's easy for you to point out, or make jokes. It's not easy for the people who you point out at. And it never will be. Let them dress the way they want. If they look miserable, try helping them instead of making a joke about them.

People go through ups and downs all the times. You won't even know if that girl from your class who's always smiling is going through something, or if she was harassed or abused because of the way she looks. Stop pointing out people because they don't fit in 'your definition of beautiful'. Let's make this a better place for them. Let's not forget them and make them feel comfortable in the way they are.