Brittany's Substances

My name is Brittany. I'm a theatre major graduate from WWU and am 22. I love a variety of music, movies, tv shows, and books. Yes that was sarcastic.

[cleromancy]

how often on a daily basis do you wonder if you’re One Of Those Annoying People Who Cant Take A Hint and people only respond to you bc they feel obligated

[j-applebee-deactivated20190216]

This photo was taken by Barry Boubah to show how diverse New York is.  It was a celebration, however, a far-right group used it to mock them instead.  This in turn made people say that this is indeed the kind of future they want, where different people can exist in peace together.  I started thinking of the future bisexual people in the U.K may want, with all the silly/serious things that involves.  So I wrote a poem about it.

The future bisexuals want

By Jacq A.

Late night cake, biscuit and sex toy shops.

Gripping drama on tv where bi characters don’t get shot.

Cheesy discos around the clock:

The is the future bisexuals want.

For OKCupid to stop being so shit.

Bi’s of all genders on magazine covers looking fit.

LGBT organisations remembering bi people exist!

This is the future bisexuals want.

Bigoted lesbian & gays to stop being tiresome.

Straights to stop asking us for threesomes.

Constant Torchwood Seasons 1 & 2 re-runs!

This is the future bisexuals want.

We’re not asking for very much you know?

Just cake and sex and good sci-fi shows.

And basic respect - it should’nt be too hard to think of.

Cos that’s the future bisexuals deserve and want!

[rasputinmaxim-deactivated201802]

But luxury has never appealed to me, I like simple things, books, being alone, or with somebody who understands.

~ Daphne Du Maurier

[elvisomar]

This is the future that liberals want

[generationnothin]

I didn’t listen to the parental advisory warning on American Idiot and now I’m gay and I hate the government

[flowerais-deactivated20211031]

little happy things:

seeing someone who is equally as excited to see you

when you’re somewhere beautiful, away from things that stress you out

actually completing your homework quickly without procrastinating too much, and then sleeping on time

when your friend shares a generous amount of food with you

reading something that perfectly describes what you’ve struggled to put into words

starting a new journal with new stationery

waking up in the morning and feeling happy for no reason

discovering a new favourite tv show, song or person that makes you excited again

making food or art and then feeling proud of your creations

realizing that you don’t care anymore about something that made you sad or anxious before

[behindbobsburgers]

[ncodangelo-deactivated20170513]

a very potter musical is one of the greatest things on the planet and it was created by college students with $150 who were high off their asses

[bendyboisquashup]

may I mention that about 1/3 of the budget was spent on ron’s giant Hershey bar?

[j-the-latter-gay-saint]

YOU MAY

[thisisemmakate]

I can’t believe that I never considered the possibility that they were high

[thelibrawrian-deactivated201912]

i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.

anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”

it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.

i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.

[nicejewishguy]

Wtf is sephora

It sounds scary

[starcades]

isn’t that the guy with the long white hair from final fantasy

[venatus]

no your thinking of sephiroth, a sephora is an angel belonging to the highest order of angels

[punlich]

No you’re thinking of a Seraph

A sephora is a second year college or high school student

[one-eyed-pom]

No, you’re thinking of sophomore. A sephora is when you use your phone to take a picture of yourself.

[lethalneuroses]

no, you’re thinking of a selfie. a sephora is a calm breeze.

[waffle-sorter]

No, you’re thinking of a zephyr. A sephora is one of those Greek vases with the two handles and the pictures.

[leeshajoy]

You’re thinking of an amphora. Sephora is the web browser you have to use on iOS devices.

[animatedamerican]

You’re thinking of Safari.  Sephora is an informal term for the seven-week period of counting the days between Pesach and Shavuot in the Jewish calendar.

[hhertzof]

You’re thinking of Sefiras. Sephora is a bright blue gemstone best known for combining with Ruby to create Garnet and lead the Crystal Gems, training Pokemon, and/or assisting Steel to fight against time’s intrusions into our realm.

[rareandradiant-maiden]

No, you’re thinking of sapphire. Sephora is actually a part of a flower; it protects the flower in bud and supports the petals in bloom.

[jewishdragon]

No, you’re thinking of sepal. Sephora is the wife of Moses, who lead the Israelites people out of Egypt. 

[osheamobile]

No, you’re thinking of Tzipporah. Sephora was an ancient Greek poet who inspired a lot of lady-lovin’.

[jeremywhitley]

No, you’re thinking of Sappho.

Sephora is the youngest of the five Marx brothers.

[optimysticals]

No, you’re thinking of Zeppo.

Sephora is the Heimdall’s sister.

[flatbear]

No no no guys, you’re thinking of Sif. Sephora is a venereal disease that turns your brain to swiss cheese, going so far as to destroy external features like the nose. Famous gangster Al Capone suffered from sephora.

[corruptinnocent]

No, you’re thinking of syphilis. Sephora is that radiant feeling you get when you have found perfect peace and happiness.

[emceescabaret-deactivated201812]

No, you’re thinking of euphoria. Sephora’s a fucking makeup store you dipshits.

[alexexotic]

Only blogging because this is my favorite tumblr post and i can never find it when I need to.

[luxxuryys]

My first time seeing this post & I now have a new favorite post.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[himovadere]

LMAOOO

[bando--grand-scamyon]

y'all going straight to hell lmfaoooo

[justlittlethings]

[wtfzodiacsigns]

[thisisntgoodbi]

Let me get this straight

Let me run something bi you

[punziella]

Elie Saab + Garnet & Pearl

[setheverman]

i’m getting messages like “i’m sorry about what happened in sweden last night” and i’m sitting here like “???? what happened????”

turns out trump had a speech where he talked about terrorism and said “You look at what’s happening last night in Sweden… Sweden!” but nothing actually happened here and our government is now trying to figure out what he was talking about ????? ? ? ????? ? ?????????????????

[sauvamente]

Oh my god

[zanabism-deactivated20200529]

What universe is this

[imanes]

it’s the universe in which former swedish prime minister and minister for foreign affairs asks the president of the united states of america what he’s been smoking

[bpdsnek]

my mitochondria clearly aren’t working because this bitch has NO FUCKING ENERGY