Hey mom, I know the one year anniversary of your passing is coming up, and I know your looking down at me and dad and I know you are happy and I know you know we miss you a lot, and honestly there are some times when I am like what would mom do and there is not a day I do not think about you, and honestly I do not know how Iām managing to pull through writing this as itās hard and Iām crying š¢ writing this but I know your in a better place with auntie and grandma but me and dad, we aināt fighting as much as we used to, funny how that works it takes someone close to us both for us to realize we better not fight, I only wish I spent more time with you than what i did especially the final couple of years you were with us, I remember finding out when you passed it felt like my heart was being ripped out, because I never thought it would be you because you were the baddest woman I know and you did not let anyone tell you different but anyway I know your listening I had a song made for you, but I know your looking down at me and dad and your proud of how far weāve come but Iād like to say a quote really quick āAlthough death has taken you very far away from me Dear mother, you will always be there in my heart, soul & empathy. My heart still pines for you, my eyes are still wet, yearning for you, Oh mother dear...every day, every moment a lot I miss you..... You were my friend, a sturdy support & a guide in disguiseā and I also wanna quote the famous Lost poem āWhen I lost you, I lost myself too, I feel lost and alone and I don't know what to do It's a never ending nightmare of pain, that feels like nails are being driven into my heart and then pulled out again. Night and day the prevailing thought in my head is that you're dead I know I will never get over it, but somehow I have to get through it I take small steps through the darkness guided by my grieving heart, time and distance have disappeared as I've been torn apart The grief road is so long as it stretches lifelong so it's hard to carry on and to be strong I know l'll be lost until I find you, so l look for you everywhere, I know you're there I just can't see you Sometimes I stop and stare because I think I've seen you, but it's just someone who looks like you I look at your photos willing your eyes to give me a clue, It's so hard to accept that l've lost you I would walk endless miles through wind and rain and back again I would climb mountains, walk through deserts and sail on stormy seas, I would walk until I fell to my knees For every mile I would shed a tear and for every year I would endure the pain, If only I could find you againā
P.S. yāall donāt worry Iām fine, I really am Iām not gonna do nothing stupid just had to get this out there as it was bothering me the past couple of nights like how I was gonna word this and stuff donāt worry, Iāll tell yāall when Iām not I promise and I know itās not something Iād normally write but I had to get this out there
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