Chase Dreams Not People

[theblackwaldo-blog]

Is my Anxiety doing me any good?

Today when you find yourself getting anxious, ask yourself: Why are my insides all twisted up? Am I in control right now or have I given over control to my anxiety? Most importantly ask: Is my anxiety doing me any good? 

I would love to say that I'm always calm, cool, and collected but that would be a bald-faced lie, I am as anxious about my life as the next person, maybe even more so. It was not until recently that I decided to make a more conscious effort, to stop giving anxiety control. The mind is extremely powerful, it's power can at times overwhelm us with thoughts, fears, doubts, and a multitude of other things, but we must always remember that we can regain control if we choose to. 

There are many different responses to anxiety but not all of them are necessary, and most of them can be re-purposed for our benefit.

"The next time you find yourself in the middle of a freakout, or moaning and groaning with flu-like symptoms, or crying tears of regret, just ask: Is this actually making me feel better? Is this actually relieving any of the symptoms I wish were gone?" - The Daily Stoic 

My most memorable moment of anxiety happened as I pulled into the driveway of my parent's house. I had come to visit them after a very rough semester of pharmacy school, the entire 2.5-hour ride up a small battle had been going on within my mind. Once I had reached the end of the driveway and put my car into park, something within me snapped, I was having a panic attack. I had curled into a ball and cried like a baby, calling my mother for help, I was so afraid of disappointing my family, so afraid of how they would react to my realization that I did not want to be a pharmacist. Once the tears had been wiped from my face and some time passed, I had the talk with my parents that I had been dreading. That talk had taught me that my parents were already proud of me and that the one putting the most pressure on me was my self.

After that moment of what had felt like helplessness, I had decided I needed to come up with some strategies to deal with this anxiety, and so I began to read. I read about mindfulness, yoga, breathing exercises, and one of my favorites The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. This journey I had embarked on led me down many different paths, I began to meditate for 5 mins a day, I began to go on walks, and most importantly I began to write my feelings down and speak them aloud as well. These small actions allowed me the time and space, to relinquish the tunneled vision I had at the time, and understand more deeply the significance of my conscious choices. 

We are all aware that life is full of choices, but it wasn't until 2019 that I had heard the term "reasoned choice". With this reasoned choice, we have the power to hold no opinion about a thing and not let it upset our state of mind, it is possible to not have an opinion about a negative thing. I have said before that "Life is an illusion created by your perception" and this is yet another example of these words being put into action. 

Getting upset is like continuing the dream while you’re awake. The thing that provoked you wasn’t real— but your reaction was. And so from the fake comes real consequences. This is why I suggest you do whatever is necessary to wake up right now and be as present as possible, life can be a lucid dream or a horrible nightmare, it's totally up to you. 

There is no singular way to do this, but there is one unavoidable requirement, your awareness. It requires you to stop and evaluate yourself honestly. When was the last time you did that?

 For a long time, I was not honest with myself, I was extremely critical of myself and would rarely allow joy to sit with me for more than a moment, constantly worried about what was next. Somewhere along my life's path, I realized that it does me no good to allow people or circumstances to arouse anger or discontent within me, because more often than not they cared less than I did, and most time they did not care at all. 

This is not me saying that you should not care at all, instead I would suggest that you not give any possible outcome more power or preference than is reasonably appropriate. To do this you must accept that when you see yourself as more than you are, you have failed yourself. How could you really be considered self-aware if you refuse to consider your weaknesses? I would be silly to forget to mention that it is equally damaging to “value yourself at less than your true worth.” - Goethe. 

To let your anxiety run rampant is slavery, and no slavery is more disgraceful than one which is self-imposed. 

“If a person gave away your body to some passerby, you’d be furious. Yet you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along, so they may abuse you, leaving it disturbed and troubled— have you no shame in that?” —EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 28 

This life we live is one of consistent inconsistency, and never-ending learning so when you fail or make a mistake be more tolerant, understanding, and try to see your actions as attempts to do the right thing. It is better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all. Whether you agree or not, how radically would this lens change your perspective on otherwise offensive or belligerent actions?

We’d be crazy to want to face difficulty in life. But we’d be equally crazy to pretend that it isn’t going to happen. The good things in life cost what they cost. The unnecessary things are not worth it at any price. The key is being aware of the difference.

So the next time you feel anxious, take a few extra seconds of focus. I choose to focus on my breath but your point of focus can be whatever you choose. Do what is necessary to allow yourself the time to make that reasoned choice about how your feelings of anxiety will affect your state of mind.

[theblackwaldo-blog]

Silence

I often wondered why the saying "silence is golden" has become such a moniker of success.

 Maybe by being silent, you don't let people know what you're planning, thus preventing unnecessary obstacles from manifesting. Maybe silence is what will allow those around you, to value the words you do choose to speak more, since rare things are often given a higher value. While I believe that within both these statements lies a truth, I also believe that there lies an even greater value in silence.

 Being quite creates the opportunity and space for God to relay the message that was specially made for you. Divine messages are not always going to come to us in grandiose ways, sometimes the message you seek comes from a place or person whom you would never expect it to.

No matter what religion you identify with, the Gods, God, Creator, Almighty all are jealous, they want your praise and they demand your attention, at times they may even require a stage to be created for them to perform these miracles both big and small. That is what silence does, it creates the stage for magnificent things to happen.

 There is more than one type of silence, we all are familiar with the silence of not speaking, but there is another that I have only just discovered and am attempting to master, the silencing of the mind. Silence of the mind is something that I believe to be of value to us all, we are constantly being triggered by the things around us, our minds running, sprinting, never finding time for rest, time for peace.

 Peace of mind is elusive, it's kind of like trying to catch a fly in your hand, as soon as you think you've got it, it flies away before you can grasp it, as if reading your thoughts. If it had no thoughts to read, then you could slowly close your hand, and grasp it easily, that is the power of silencing the mind, and the secret to grasping peace of mind.

Take a moment today, even if for 30 seconds, sit in silence and try to quiet your mind, focus on your breathing, focus on the marvel that is your body, from head to toe. When you have mastered that, make it a full 60 seconds and keep adding time until you reach 5-10 minutes. That's all it takes, 5-10 minutes of peace of mind a day can drastically change the way we think, feel, and act.

 I'm going to get a little nerdy on you for a second but bear with me, there is this stuff called gray matter in the brain, its involved in muscle control, and sensory perception such as seeing, hearing, memory, emotions, speech, decision making, and self-control. Science has shown that by training your mind to be silent, you not only train your mind and body to become more powerful by expanding your neural network, you also heighten your control of that power.

 Training your brain requires a bit more finesse, but it is worth the journey, and meditating is a proven tool to increase the grey matter rolling around in our skulls. This is like putting a bigger engine in your car but instead of going faster, your more powerful brain will let you have better emotional control, be more relaxed, and handle adversity more swiftly. You can literally give your brain an upgrade by sitting in silence for a few minutes a day.

 If silence is golden, then silence of the mind is love, it has been invaluable for me, it has brought light to darkness in my life, by quieting my mind I’ve strengthened my soul. The mind wants to run wild like a 2-year-old, but you must train it to sit still, so you can learn the lessons that life so badly wants to teach you.

"The quieter you become, the more you can hear"

[theblackwaldo-blog]

Love is Free

If you are reading this, you have been given another opportunity to be a blessing to the world. We each are a gift, we each have a purpose, and we all matter, that is the message for today, you are loved. Take time today to sit in silence and be thankful for this reality, for there are many who overlook this blessing, today is a present given to us all, be thankful for it.

Once you have said your thanks, put a smile on your face, its time to pay it forward. If you don’t know what I mean, that’s fine, its very easy to do. Once you have put that smile on your face, you have already done enough, that smile alone can put one on someone else’s face and instill in their spirit a sense of joy.

Smiles are contagious

But if you want to go a step further, I first must ask you a question, who do you love?  Other than yourself I’m sure there are many whose existence brings your joy, peace, understanding, and at times pain, but most of all joy. For me there are many people who have made an impact on my life, this has happened both directly and indirectly, but the fact remains that I am thankful.

It took effort and intention for me to get to the point where I can easily recognize this, but most of all it required me to remove my ego from the equation. Gratitude is an action, the more you practice it, the easier it will get.

We must all know, believe, and understand how great we are as individuals, that we are all miracles. Its not crazy to think this, its actually healthy, it allows joy and light to dwell within us, but to think that this joy and light is of solely our own making, is absurd. We are the product of our environment, firstly our mother and our father, secondly, whoever we spend the most time with. Who you become is a byproduct of whom you choose to spend time with, and if you’re a choosing wisely then I give you kudos, but realize that those people are also choosing you.

Don’t miss an opportunity to be thankful, don’t miss and opportunity to impart love, its feel just as good to give love as it does to receive it. Love is a strong word, it’s a word that maybe you feel is too strong for this context, but love, to me, is energy.

This energy is a spark, this spark could be just what a friend, loved one, or even a stranger needs to lift them out of a funk. We are all made this mysterious stuff called matter, we are all connected, we can all share this energy, and this is why, we all matter.

Whether it’s a kind word, a gesture, a laugh, or just a smile, that energy is felt by those around you, that energy is never wasted and can never be destroyed. When you feel those around you are trying to condemn your light, don’t let them, shine even brighter and drive out the darkness.

I hope you make the choice to spread love, and light, the world is dark enough already. If you can just instill love, and in turn light, in just one person, then I personally thank you, you have made the world that much brighter.

It takes more energy to frown, than it does to smile,

Spread love, even if the recipient will not always say thank you, they will remember you for it. Take solace in this fact, and never forget that you’re loved.

[theblackwaldo-blog]

Break Through The Noise

We live in a very noisy world, it’s the Information Age also known as the Computer Age, Digital Age, or New Media Age, a truly historic period. We have begun a rapid shift to an economy based on information technology, where everyone’s thoughts are given a value. Many people are going to tell you what you should be doing, whether it be friend, family, or just some random person you happen to start a conversation with. So instead of me telling you, I’m asking you, what do you want to do? What action, sets your soul on fire, makes you feel alive, and brings a smile to you face?

I have always found it amusing that so many people " know" what others should do with their lives, yet have less than half a clue about what they want to do with their own. If you try to listen to everyone's voice, they will all eventually overlap and become nothing but noise. This noise is nothing but a distraction, an obstacle that we unknowingly welcome into our lives. Everybody is going to have an opinion if you ask for it, and even when you don’t, but the one that matters most, at all really, is yours.

There is nothing wrong with taking advice from others, its free information that can at times hold truth and even wisdom.  But make sure that when you're sifting through the myriad of information, that your guide is your own voice. Let me say that one more time, and be very clear, make sure that voice is your own voice, not your moms, not your dads, not your best friends, not your significant others, yours. 

You must be able to pick out your inner voice in a sea of noise, just as you did when you were a child and got separated from you mother or father, no matter how much noise there was, their voice rang clear. This is what you must be able to do with your own inner voice, give it the power, give it the priority, give it the time to grow, so that you can hear it clearly. 

Break through the doubt, uncertainty, and fear, and let the first and last voice you hear be your own. Because contrary to popular belief this is the voice that has your best intentions at heart.

To get to this point in my life, I had to cut off everything that I thought mattered to me, people, things, statuses, habits, I realized that none of these things defined me. When I first began this journey, I was extremely lonely, I was afraid that I would lose all of these people, things, statuses if I stopped interacting with them for a while. But one day while sitting in silence I remembered something, if you love something let it go, if it’s meant for you, it will come back.

For those of you who know me, I’m a people person, and being secluded, being to myself at times felt like I was in the dark. It felt as if I was locked away in a room and nobody could hear me, as if I was completely disconnected from the world, from my own reality. But I wasn’t alone, I was just in an unfamiliar environment, panicked, and had not yet taken the time to look around. Its so easy to ask people what they think, it’s a common practice to look for validation and assurance in others, but this is not one of those times, and I was not happy about it. I struggled at times to come to terms with this choice I had made to be alone, I even went back on my decision a few times, but once I really gave a try, amazing changes began to happen. I found many things once I took a few deep breaths and looked around and within, but most of all I found myself, I found my voice, and you can too.

Some time later I realized that it wasn’t my fear of losing those people, things, status that really held me back, it was a fear of discovering my potential, being accountable to myself and having nothing and no one to blame for not becoming everything that I had always known I could be. You will continue to learn about yourself and as you do, you will begin to trust your voice more and more. Don’t be afraid to be afraid, change can be scary, growth can hurt sometimes, but most things worth doing aren’t easy.

When life gets scary and difficult, we tend to look for solutions in places where it is easy or at least familiar to do so, and not in the dark, uncomfortable places where real solutions might lie. – Robert Maurer

Worry less about what, where, and when other people are doing things, their journey is out of your control. Your journey is very important, so give it the focus it deserves and take control of it. Find the mental space or better yet a territory that is your own, where your inner voice is alpha and omega. If that space does not exist, then create it, you deserve it, and once you create it, nobody can ever take it from you.

Break through the noise, find your peace, find your prosperity, find your voice.

[theblackwaldo-blog]

A Little Discipline and A Lot of Love

As I continue to grow and progress through life, I have come to see the truth in some of the things my parents told me as a child. One lesson in particular has proved itself true time and time again, “life is all about angles”, as my father constantly told me. Now when I hear him say it those words In my head, I put my own little twist on it and say “life is all about how you see and understand things”.

People always love to say “It’s about working smart, not hard” but I believe that this popular saying needs to be re-explained, or at least given a deeper level of clarity. You don’t have to be smart to work smart, because the context in which this word is being used has next to nothing to do with your wittiness or IQ. To work “smart”, what you truly need, is discipline and to have discipline, you need is an unrelenting grit not wit.

I even went as far as to look up the definition of smart which is having or showing a quick-witted intelligence. This is not the necessary context to use when pertaining to success. For most people success is almost never quick, and there are a lot of “intelligent” people who aren’t successful. So again I’ll say, you don’t have to be “smart” to be successful.

Small amounts of discipline applied at the right time, go much further than you would think. You will not always need a huge amount, rather a small amount applied each day can compound into a mountain of accomplishments and accountability.

I just recently finished a 30 day fast from the things I enjoy. I fasted to practice exactly what I prayed for before even starting this fast, discipline. It has a profound effect on your choices, which in turn have a profound effect on your life. The more discipline, or more specifically, control you have over your choices, the more power you have over your own life and the path it takes.

The power of choice is one that should cherished, and rarely given away willingly. During my travels around the world, I have learned that sometimes it is better to get lost, than to take direction. There is something about making your own choices, sticking to them and working your way out of a difficult situation, it builds a sense of trust in self. People will always try to tell you what you should do and where you should go, but until you decide what it is that YOU want to do and dedicate yourself to that goal, that success and sense of accomplishment that we all yearn for, will elude you.

Never forget that true success is self-defined, success is not when everyone else acknowledges your accomplishments. True success in when that feeling of fulfillment wells up inside you and you can look yourself in the mirror and be proud.

You may use others as a catalyst to give you the drive to push through the hard times. But at the end of it all when the sun goes down and the lights go out, it is just you and God. God will always love you, just make sure that you love yourself. Love yourself through the good ideas and the bad, the triumphs and the tribulations, and do everything you can to take a lesson from them all. A little discipline and a whole lot of love, that’s all you need to succeed.

“You can become successful with less discipline than you think, for one simple reason: success is about doing the right thing, not about doing everything right” - Gary Keller, The One Thing

[theblackwaldo-blog]

8:47 AM

I woke up today with deep deep sense of peace, I was up all night filled with an almost limitless energy. I'm not sure of it's source but I know now that it’s there, it is wide and it is deep. I feel like its a well that was always there, I’ve just never tapped into it before. I could feel the words that my instructor imparted to me come up through my gut and out of my mouth "A Dream is not what you see while you’re sleeping, A Dream is what keeps you up at Night", I truly felt those words.

I was surfing on a high from all of the positive feedback I was getting from my latest post on my new blog, a blog that was 2 years in the making. I had tried and failed to start my website many times, I even had one completely done on another web builder, but I never let it see the light of day. As most people like to say, I just didn't feel right, but this, right now, feels right.

As I sit here in my favorite tea shop in India, the only things open are it and the fruit and vegetable vendors on the streets of the market, I'm still trying to figure out why I'm up right now since I did not go to sleep until 4 am and it’s now 8:47, but I feel full of life as if I got a full nights rest.

I'm thankful for this feeling, I woke up and told myself I was going to have some "me" time, I woke up and said my prayers, I woke up and thanked God, I woke up.

Just being alive and in this place and space both mentally and physically is a beautiful gift from God. I know now more than ever that I have a purpose, that I have a calling, and that I have found a passion.

I'm currently reading a book called The Daily Stoic, and it gifted me with some words that feel so aligned with my path that I must rewrite them just to make sure they are ingrained in my being and consciousness, "Be in control of your passions, rather than being controlled by them". I asked God countless times to help me to find mine, and have been presented with them many many times, but it feels like it hasn't been until now, right now, that I truly understand what I must do.

I finally feel like I am in the right frame of mind to write like a used to years ago, I am filled with words, they pour out of me like water out of a fountain, words that I know will fill others up with life's water.

These words are my water and the people whom come to my page are vessels, I feel it is my duty to fill them with something positive, because that is my gift. I wake up almost every single morning happy, but not happy because of what I have or what Ive done, but because of who I am, I am me, and that has been and always will be enough.

I am me when things are going good, I am me when things are going bad, and through every magnitude of measurement in and between those two states of being I am thankful.

Gratitude is a powerful word, and as I wrote yesterday, words are powerful. I spent an entire year focused on my understanding of this one word gratitude, I meditated on it, I wrote about it and now I have gathered the information, studied the knowledge, and attained the wisdom to truly understand its meaning.

The very wise GZA wrote in his book The Tao of Wu "knowledge is knowing, but wisdom is doing" and that’s what I plan to manifest.

The mantra on my page before yesterday was "I am not my thoughts, I am what I do", but I was wrong, this revelation was given to me by my cousin not by blood, but my cousin all the same. If I may, I would like to think of him more like a big brother, in the two weeks I spent in Nairobi, Kenya he poured so much knowledge into me. We stayed up almost every night talking about the origins of man, stoicism, philosophy, manifestation, and what wisdom truly means, we talked of religion, spirituality, and science. We talked of business, family and friends, we talked of life and we talked of love.

God will give you a the same message countless times, he will put you through things over and over again, and bring you around the same type of person or situation until you finally get "it". The message I received from all our talks is the same message my father has always given to me , the same message I see in the friends I admire and look up to, the same message I will leave you with here.

"BE INTENTIONAL"

If you are intentional with your words and your actions, there is nothing that you cannot manifest. Time is just a construct, it will move whether you do a lot or a little, but the purpose and vigor with which you do things is what gives time its true value. Be intentional, and watch how "fast" things change.

[theblackwaldo-blog]

Move On, Move Forward, Live Life 

You are not always going to have the opportunity to be surrounded by positive people. At times you will have to be your own source for this pick me up. But this is not a problem since a great power lies within all of us. 

The ability to do this is predicated on your ability to do something, some of us have forgotten how to do. Have gratitude, and not just for the good things but for your life, when you wake up look in the mirror and just be thankful that you have More Life to live. 

 Whether today is a good day or a bad day, is not dependent on what happens but how you view your life and what takes place in it. Give one hundred percent of your self, to yourself, and love that self. This will fill you up with a positive energy that some may not ever get to experience. Once this is done share that energy with another. 

[theblackwaldo-blog]

Yes You Can

I have never been more uncomfortable with my life than I am now, I am in debt, unemployed, living at home with my parents, and I’m only about 47% sure what I want to do with the rest of my life. 

 But its OK not to know,  you can accomplish whatever you put you mind to! 

 When you feel overwhelmed say this to yourself: MARGINAL GOALS DAILY! 

[theblackwaldo-blog]

I feel in love in Barcelona, I feel in love with the ocean, with the waves, with the sand, and with the sun. To sit there a bask in the radiant rays of energy, feel the cool, breeze and smell the salty mist of the ocean as I sit and wonder about where in the world ill end up next. 

To love something, is to let it go, because you know that you will return one day