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We all change, when you think about it. We're all different people all through our lives; and that's okay. That's good. You've gotta keep moving; so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this, not one day. I swear.
The Eleventh Doctor (Dr. Who)
The Love Paradox
When I met her, the only thing that I was certain of was that I was not certain of anything; which creates quite the paradox. My outlook on life was skeptical. My trust for anyone was near impossible to earn. Relationships were almost certainly out of the question; and I say “almost certainly” because I still was not certain of anything.
The first day that I really saw her I could tell quite visibly that she was beautiful and quickly caught on to her intellect. She gave off the appearance of innocence very well, but I quickly learned that she was quite the smart ass; but for some reason, I felt as if I could trust her. It was almost as if I were staring straight into a mirror and seeing somebody else’s eyes.
After spending some time talking with her (and by some I mean a lot) I came to the realization that I had grown feelings for her. I honestly couldn’t believe that it happened to me because I’d never had these feelings for anyone else before that particular time. Typically, I would have found myself engaged in some minor form of attraction that felt like a lactose intolerant person eating ice cream. It’s really great in the moment, but once that short moment is over, you feel like shit.
With her, though, it was something a whole lot bigger. Something... new. Something like love. In fact, that’s exactly what it was.
At the prime age of 21, I experienced my first love. I finally found somebody in life that I trusted, was attracted to, could relate with and could just be myself around. Now, granted, there are literally a million more reasons that I love her; but I will skip over those for time and reading sake.
This whole cataclysmic event in my life created yet another paradox. I was now infinitely certain, but not infinitely certain of everything. You see, I was now certain that this was the girl that I wanted to be with for the rest of my life; and I was absolutely certain that I was certain, ect.
I had taken a step out in the biggest moment of my life and jumped into the paradox that we call love. It’s a place where we want to live our life with someone, but would give our life for them. We want to hold them and never let them go, but we also want them to live life to the fullest; and let’s face it, as much as we love hugging, that’s not all there is to life. We want the other person to be happy so badly that we would take on their sadness to make them happy. All the while, it turns out that when one is sad that it makes the other sad, so that whole entire thought did absolutely no good to begin with. It also creates and endless sadness paradox, but I digress.
I didn’t realize it at the time; but when I jumped into this paradox, I had jumped into the greatest thing that would ever happen to me.