So I wanted to write something on my view on the documentary and the topic of being ‘proud’ to be a pup and 'coming out’ as a pup.
And I’m also preparing to get hate/loose followers for my opinions. But here is goes.
I have avoided the documentary, I don’t want to see it. I don’t think there is a need for it. Pup play has got a lot of exposure recently and this is bringing it into the mainstream. It’s one thing for someone to be misinformed by their own opinions of me and if I chose to pup in public then I can also explain to someone why, and give them my views on why I pup, what it does for me, and why I believe that I should be able to do so without being confronted. With the documentary my fear is the public will use what they have seen (for example the sex routine at the mr puppy Europe) and cast judgement on me based on that. They will be misinformed by the media and once that happens it’s a lot harder to inform them on what pup play actually is, which is individual for every pup.
Secondly, it’s led to lots of pups 'coming out’ to people. Kink isn’t something you should have to 'come out’ as. I have no desire to know what my family’s sexual interests are and I do not wish them to know mine. This doesn’t prevent me from having a normal relationship with my family as simply put they don’t need to know. However, they may have seen my hood. They may have spotted a dog toy in my room etc. They know I make pillows. They have not asked, I have not told. We are all happy. I’m not saying that it’s unhealthy or wrong to have a relationship with your family and be open about sex, however in a lot of cultures that is not normal and not appropriate and can break bonds rather then make them. If you want to 'come out’ as a pup then I can’t stop you, but don’t force others to. I have had so many people tell me to embrace my inner pup and I should be proud. I’m proud to be myself, but just as I’m a different person at work then to my peers and family, this is something not everyone needs to know. It’s a 'secret life’ for a reason.
Another point to draw upon is Professional opinion. Sure a lot of jobs couldn’t give a damn what you do in your spare time, but that’s not always the case. What about those in the military? I have a civil servant friend who has had to remove herself from the kink world because she can not engage in activities like that due to work. What she does in her own time is fine but she can’t publicly be seen to be promoting that. What about people who are responsible for vulnerable adults and children? Pup play is heavily linked to bdsm. Do you think it’s wise for a saidest to 'come out’ to their colleagues when they are meant to safeguard people? Not the best situation to put yourself in is it? I do not wish to discuss my profession however I will say it is not appropriate do be open about my private life, never mind kink.
So what’s the difference between people seeing this documentary and people seeing me pup in public?
In almost all cases of me pupping I think of two things: Consent to exposure, and age.
So, if you see me out and about in the streets of London or in the Forrest I will be wearing normal clothing and maybe knee pads, and hood. This is because no one has consented to seeing me in fetish gear and it’s respectful. I stay in head space which there is nothing wrong with (just may look odd to those who don’t 'get it’) but it’s not offensive. And my hood is freely put on and removed in view of people so they can see it is just a costume. I also do not engage in anything sexual whilst being open in public, and spend very little time with my hood on. There is a lot of thought that goes into public pupping.
So when do I believe it’s appropriate to wear harnesses, rubber, tail etc? When the surrounding audience is 18+ or have consented to seeing it. This includes fetish clubs and other designated places but also regular clubs too. The difference between regular clubs and fetish clubs is I often (if not always) contact the venue first and gain correspondence with them about who I am, what I am, and why I do it. More often then not (and I have only ever had one place say 'we would rather you didn’t feel that’s ok’) they are great with it because I have explained myself and have been informed of what is going on in their venue. Prides are another place I believe is acceptable. When you go to pride you know it’s a celebration of the diversity of the LGBT spectrum and you know that there will be gimps and fetish crews. People who take their children can explain and have most likely already accepted and consented to seeing that. There is a purpose.
Lastly, these rules I follow provide me with a certain level of safety. If I have someone that insulted and offended for me wearing my hood I can quickly take it off and if needs be, run. I break headspace quickly if I need to because that keeps me safe. I’m not restricted by gear etc. If I have informed the club about my presence the club can reassure anyone who is offended, back up what I have said about it not being sexual, keep me safe, and hopefully feel like they can’t approach me to say I need to take off my gear rather then just chuck me out. As for tails… Fetish club, where it is common knowledge not to touch a puppies tail. It’s not worth the risk of some drunk asshole pulling it and hurting me. I’m not doing that to myself.
So there you have it. Unpopular opinions I’m sure, and will probably get unfollowed by a bunch of people, but I’m fed up of people telling my to embrace being a pup and come out. I’m happy being a pup, just want to keep a separation between scout and my real self. Keep scout anonymous.
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