The Book of After

The Book of After is my ongoing project to illustrate every song in the band Ghost's recorded catalog, in a heraldry-inspired illuminated manuscript style. Don't see your favorite song here? Have no fear- I'll get to it eventually. Follow along as I go a little crazy and have a great time getting there.

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A lot of the pieces I have done recently have been elaborate little scenes, and for Kiss the Go-Goat, I wanted to draw something a little closer to the heraldic source material. This is still taking a lot of liberties with the art form. But I knew for sure that I wanted to draw a demon goat rampant (which is what that pose is called.) The top part of the shield was originally just going to suggest the shape of a lovely full buttock, more abstract, but(t) in the end I just preferred it more realistic, what can I say?

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I am reposting this one, because the original post I put up got flagged for being too mature for sweet innocent eyes. Probably for the pictures of my references, which I do understand, though I was hoping somehow I would get a pass. It's fine, but I am putting up this one without the references, because I am very proud of it and want it to see the light of day.

For those curious about my thoughts on this piece and seeing these very scary reference pics, they can be found here.

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From the very beginning of this project, I had a very clear image in my head of how I would illustrate this song. It took me so long to get to it because I wasn't sure my drawing skills were up to the challenge. I've felt that way a lot during this, but with every drawing, I am learning to not only trust myself more, but to just jump in and have fun with the process, even if I am uncertain if I can do the piece justice. Every one of these I do, I feel like I get a little better, and that alone makes me excited enough to keep going.

More about references and inspiration under the cut (trigger warning for a little blood and unclothed Ken doll):

This piece was very heavily inspired by a piece of art I found on DeviantArt in the ye olden days of 2003.

I saved this file to my computer because it made me feel some kind of way. Sad and wistful and hopeful all at the same time. I thought of this picture immediately, the first time I heard Stay. I don't know whose art this is, and it's been so long, I wouldn't know how to track them down to credit them, if they even still are around. The signature looks like PE('), I guess? Anyway, whoever they are, this picture has meant a lot to me, from my long ago days as an angsty teenager.

And finally, because I think it's funny, here is the reference I set up for this piece:

I didn't even know how to describe the pose I wanted to look it up while I was working on this, so I gave in and decided I needed an articulated drawing model. The reviews for all of the ones I saw said things like, "This is the most amazing thing, I don't know how I lived without it!" and "This is garbage and falls apart immediately out of the box, a complete waste of money" in equal measure. Someone suggested a Made-to-Move Ken doll would be better, so that is what I bought. You might be seeing more of dear ol' Ken in the future.

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Paper Pushers

I have a little bit of news for anyone in the Seattle area! There is going to be a six-month pop up bookstore called Paper Pushers, run by the Seattle Printers' Guild, and they will be carrying a small run of my Infernal Psalms zine! (As well as a non-Ghost zine I made last year, called Pursuivant)

The bookstore will open April 26th and run through November, and can be visited at 1200 5th Ave in downtown Seattle (the former IBM building.) It sounds like there will be lots of other neat zines and art and gifts there, too.

For anyone not local to Seattle though, or who can't make it to the store, I am working on getting things ready to sell my zines online. And for every 13 heraldry I complete for this project, there will be a new Infernal Psalms issue.

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Tiny details are the name of the game for this one. A lot of fun when I was drawing the clock, a lot harder when I was trying to draw the teeny-tiny couples. I had to buy a .03 lead pencil for it, because everything else was too thick.

(That's what she said)

But fun fact! If you need good references for couples in dynamic and suggestive poses, I recommend photos of ballet dancers.

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Here at last, we have our poll winner, Darkness At The Heart Of My Love! There were a few different things I specifically wanted to include in this one, such as a play on the Sacred Heart of Jesus, but issuing out large clouds of obscuring smoke. The snake for our path serpentine, but mostly, I just wanted to draw a ghoul. With four arms so he could make a bunch of hand gestures, and also because I like characters with a few extra limbs. Please enjoy!

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My original idea for this one was to make the more traditional shoulder devil and angel, in a more classic illuminated manuscript style. One pouring the other a drink, the latter offering the former a piece of meat. And then I figured, why go generic when there's a pair of canonical twins that I could draw? And that's how we ended up here. Also included are a befriended rat, and a many a thorn standing between.

As per my poll from a few days ago, my next piece will be Darkness At The Heart Of My Love. The voting was incredibly close, and I think if there were one fewer person voting, we probably would have had a three-way tie.

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I have already started the next piece for this series, but I was curious if anyone wanted to weigh in on what song I should draw up after that. I seem to have a handful of followers now, so I figured I could get at least a couple of responses!

So, what song should I illustrate next?

Darkness At The Heart Of My Love

Call Me Little Sunshine

Monstrance Clock

Voting ended onMar 4

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We are back, baby!

The first time I heard this song, I did have to look up what a cruciger globus actually was. I'd seen them before in shows and movies, but had never known what they were called. I also had to look up what the Nicene creed was when I first heard Satan Prayer. I have learned all kinds of new things since finding Ghost.

Honestly, the past couple weeks have been hard to be creative. The Seattle ritual was fantastic, but I was super drained emotionally afterward. Then going back to work the week after kicked my butt (just a lot of long days when I was already really tired), and then everything that has been going on with the Skeletour ending... I just needed a bit to take a breath, remind myself of everything I love and what has inspired me about this band, and put pencil to paper again. Drawing this one has been good for me. This project is far from over, and the Ghost fandom needs its creators more than ever now.

Bonus: the reference I had to put together for this drawing:

In what has become a fact of my existence now, I was once again unable to find exactly what I was looking for reference-wise for this drawing. I have to do everything myself around here.

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I saw your zine being passed around in Seattle at the trinket trade and I unfortunately didn’t get one. I wish I had because I love your art so much!

Thank you so much! I wanted to give out more, but unfortunately I ran out of copies. But I will be doing another print run, and also more zines as I make new art. I will post about it here to let people know how they can get them. Thank you again for your kind words!

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Some text I drew out to screen-print on a sweatshirt I made to wear at my ritual. I screen-printed these on the sleeves.

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The Seattle ritual was amazing. I know, I am a week late posting this, oopsie. A lot has happened over the past week, and honestly I have just been trying to emotionally recoup from a very wonderful but intense day. Add to that that all my work printers decided to take advantage of my post-show mental sugar-crash by getting up to Shenanigans, and time sort of got away from me.

I have started the next drawing for this series (From the Pinnacle to the Pit, anyone?) but it's not ready to be shared yet. So in the meantime, here is the sort of self-portrait I did for the back cover of my zine. I have been fascinated lately by drawings of saints where they are holding their severed heads, quite calmly, even as their neck is gushing blood. And the halos are always where their head should be, if it were still properly attached. I might draw a Terzo version for the next issue of the Infernal Psalms zine.

And a mostly fangirling ramble about my ritual experience under the cut:

So, I did in fact give away all of the zines that I brought with me! Not only that, but I got to give one to Vanessa. I promised myself if I saw her, I would gift her one. She was so sweet and gracious, and said it was a really nice way to commemorate the ritual. In fact, everyone I talked to waiting outside of the arena was just so nice. I traded zines for bracelets and stickers and keychains and the rest I just gave to people because they were there and they were as excited as me. We hung around the Seattle Center all day, and it was like a mini Ghost-convention, just full of cosplayers and fans.

And then the ritual. Oh, the ritual. Greatest night of my life. I wasn't sure if or when I would get a chance to see Ghost in person again, so I had splurged on VIP tickets, and we ended up maybe five rows back from the stage in the pit. They let us in around 6, and the show started a little after 8, so we just hung out standing around and talking with people. I got to explain some of my personal lore headcanons which at least a few people thought were interesting! Or they were being polite. Someone came around giving out the biggest, sparkliest stickers. We got to see Vanessa and her little film crew come through for some more interviews with people.

I won't go into detail about everything that happened in the show. I have seen lots of other people post really good recaps of all the details of the rituals, and they probably remember it lots better than me. I was just swept up in it all. I sang along. I felt the music hammering in my chest. I came out of there feeling like I was glowing, like I had been hollowed out and made anew. It was everything I had wanted it to be.

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My ritual is coming up! I'm so excited, it's my first one. It sounds like a lot of people bring like bracelets or stickers to trade with other fans, so I put together my first Infernal Psalms zine to share with people. I hope people like them. I hope I have given them all away by the end of the night.

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It is inevitable that the art I do for this project is going to be influenced by my own perceptions of the songs and my own personal experiences. Art will always have two meanings- what the creator intended, and what the audience interprets and adds to it.

In the case of "Satanized," this was heavily influenced by the most beautiful fanfiction I have ever read in my life, "What I Need to Believe" by the incomparable @textsfromhannibal. It is a really poetic story about love and longing, and I wanted to pay some sort of tribute to it as well as to this song that I adore.

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Anyone ever play the game Monument Valley? That was a bit of what inspired the road to nowhere for "Guiding Lights." I don't have a lot of canvas to work with in these shield shapes, but I really wanted to give the impression of a large, cavernous space, with only this narrow pathway leading down into it, and a steep drop on either side.

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Unfortunately, I am starting to run into a problem with this project, wherein I have a very specific design in mind, and have a hell of a time trying to find any references for the pose. You wouldn't think this simple standing pose with the chin up would be that difficult to find, but alas my (admittedly limited) research skills came up empty. Same problem with the shibari ropework. Like with the blood spatter for "Ritual," I ended up buying a book about rope tying to use for references. My targeted ads are going to start thinking I am a serial killer or a sadist soon, and I am probably going to end up on a watch list before this project is over.

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Yeah, "Dance Macabre" I just based on the music video. I got to look up a lot of different references of dancers, and finally settled on this smooching pose. A bit of cathedral window to add some "ancient rite"ness to the moonlight, and there you go.