The Canon Police

Here, we celebrate la merde de la merde. The most absolutely disgusting and vomit-inducing concepts ever made into a character. The unthinkable, the nightmarish. The kind of characters that make the most terrifying of Lovecraft's Eldritch abominations check underneath their beds twice. Those fancharacters who don't just break canon, they also burn its dog, steal its girlfriend's first kiss, poison its father, burn down its villa and ruin its honeymoon. You know the kind. Those characters. And by celebrate I mean make fun of them until we kind of die and are left twitching on the ground pathetically. You're fucking welcome. We also offer character reviews, redesigns/resprites and tips on how to create good fantrolls/kids/cherubs/whatever. (The mods' pesterchum/trollian handles are officerChainswag and officerDorkleer. Feel free to contact us.)

[oh-re4lly]

Hey, i got a headcanon for who her art teacher is.

[thecanonpolice]

>Her

They are nonbinary, you privileged cunt. STOP ERASING NON-BINARY PEOPLE.

[thecanonpolice]

I have a headcanon I think is possible. Jade bloods naturally have a darker grey skin. They evolved separately in the same way, say Africans vs Europeans evolved their skin tones. Since Jade bloods are the only trolls in the harsh alternian sun

THIS BLOG IS PRETTY MUCH DEAD, BUT i’D NEVER PASS AN OPORTUNITY FOR DISCUSSION.

WE DO NOT KNOW IF ALL JADEBLOOD TROLLS ENJOY BASKING IN THE HARSH ALTERNIAN SUNLIGHT. WE KNOE THIS OF KANAYA, GIVEN HER OWN PERSONALITY, THEME AND TRAITS.

IF WE WERE TO ACCEPT THE HEADCANON THAT ALL(OR MOST) JADEBLOODS ENJOY THIS, THEN WE SHOULD BE INCLINED TO ACCEPT THE HEADCANON YOU PROPOSE AS WELL.

LET’S MAKE IT EVEN BETTER, WHAT ABOUT THIS? IF TROLLS CAN SURVIVE EXPOSURE TO ALTERNIAN SUNLIGHT, THEY CAN DEVELOP MORE PIGMENTS IN THEIR SKIN, SIMILAR TO HOW HUMANS GET A TAN, WHICH MAKES THEIR SKIN DARKER.

ALSO, CONSIDERING THIS, SEADWELLERS WOULD HAVE TO HAVE SIMILAR QUALITIES AS WELL, SINCE WATER MAKES YOU GET A TAN MORE QUICKLY THAN AIR, AND EVEN DURING NIGHTTIME THE REFLECTED SUNLIGHT WOULD AFFECT THEM.

[thecanonpolice]

hi! i dont have a tumblr because i deleted mine some months ago, but i was wondering if you would ever be willing to do private fantroll reviews? like, to an email address? me and a couple friends are working out the final kinks on our fanventure, character wise, before we actually start fully developing the story and spriting/posting it - however, im not rly 100% on my own characters, and would like to ask your advice on them if you are willing! but if you cant do a private review, thats fine

WELL, WE'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE, AND IT WOULD KINDA GO AGAINST THE GENERAL PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG(AS IN, GETTING MORE PEOPLE TO KNOW US AND OUR REVIEWS).

BUT YET AGAIN, THAT'S WHY WE CREATED THIS BLOG IN THE FIRST PLACE. WHAT A PREDICAMENT.

WE'LL DO YOUR PRIVATE REVIEWS, NO PROBLEM. FEEL FREE TO FIND US ON PESTERCHUM, EITHER ON MY HANDLE (officerChainswag) OR VIA DORKLEER'S (officerDorkleer)

IF YOU DON'T HAVE PESTERCHUM, SEND US ANOTHER ASK WITH AN E-MAIL ADRESS TO CONTACT YOU(WE'LL OBVIOUSLY NOT ANSWER THAT ONE, DUH)

-Officer Chainswag

[thecanonpolice]

that Matila lycany fantroll sounds alot like my fantroll, (they both have sheep themes and the witch of mind godtier) and now I'm worried that my fantroll will look like a ripoff, what should I do?

I don't think you should worry THAT much. I mean, the fantroll world is vast and there are many repeated concepts and designs. If you're so worried about being a ripoff, you can change it, but I think you shouldn't get all nervous because of it. After all, the themes might be simmilar, but ultimately it's their personalities which make them stand out as unique.

Plus, imagine finding another person with the same theme as your troll. I get all excited when that happens. "S-same theme!"

- Officer Dorkleer

[thecanonpolice]

NOT QUITE DEAD YET

WE'RE CURRENTLY FIXING DORKLEER'S COMPUTER. THANKS TO OUR BELOVED FELLOW SHITGAZERS FOR HELPING US WITH THE HANDIWORK.

YOU'LL BE HEARING ABOUT US SOON ENOUGH.

-Officer Chainswag

[thecanonpolice]

Soon...

[thecanonpolice]

Fantroll Service

I do reviews, sprites, and resprites. Just give me something to do - Draconoika

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS IT. ONE OF OUR FOLLOWERS DECIDED TO START A BLOG OF ITS OWN TO REVIEW TERRIBAD OC'S!

YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO CHECK THAT BLOG, PERHAPS SUBMIT A FANTROLL OR TWO. HELL, YOU CAN EVEN SUBMIT FANTROLLS YOU'VE ALREADY SUBMITTED HERE TO HAVE A DIFFERENT REVIEW DONE JUST FOR YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, THE MORE THE MERRIER!!

-Officer Chainswag

[thecanonpolice]

I'm tired of having nothing to do. Why doesn't anybody send in bad fantrolls nowadays?

WE KNOW, RIGHT? SADLY THERE ISN’T MUCH WE CAN DO, EITHER. I MEAN, WE *COULD* SEARCH FOR BAD FANTROLLS WHERE WE USUALLY DO, AND POST A QUICK BASH, OR AN EXTENSIVE ONE, BUT WHAT’S THE POINT? IF ANY OF THE “”“ARTISTS”“”, OR THE FRIENDS FINDS OUT, WE’LL PROBABLY HAVE TO PUT THE POSTS DOWN, EVEN THOUGH WE SPENT A GOOD AMMOUNT OF TIME ON THEM.

LIFE IS UNFAIR, MY FRIEND.

-Officer Chainswag

[badartblogspleasestop-blog]

"LOLOLO!!! THEY ARE DUMB AND I, THE IMPERIAL CHAINSWAGGY2DOPE, AM BETTER THAN THEM!!!!! HOW DARE POORLY DESIGNED CHARACTERS EXIST#"

Granted, sometimes you are actually giving advice that’s sound, but the rest of the time, you’re mocking things drawn by people younger than you for entertainment. Your attitude is gross and overconfident, and you are condescending as hell. 

And when it comes to finding ‘bad’ fantrolls when you’re looking for opens to respond to or whatever else… I can vaguely agree. Yes, there any many fantrolls out there who don’t abide canon in the least bit. But… This isn’t a problem?? Why do you take it upon yourself to bring justice upon people who are jsut having fun? (Petstuck/Petbloods aren’t included in ‘just having fun, that’s of a different grouping and they are legitimately disgusting, but some kid’s pinkblood skydweller is not related to that.)

Also… I don’t understand what you’re on about with the ‘double standard’ comment in the tags??? You seem to think that my pointing out the fact you’re mocking people is equally bad/worse than your mocking them? What?

DID I SAY THAT I ONLY GIVE THOUGHTFUL ADVICE TO TROUBLED PRETEENS TRYING TO BETTER THEMSELVES? NAH. I OFFER ADVICE. IT’S THERE. BUT I ALSO ENJOY DOING WHAT I DO. WRITING THOSE MOCKING AND CONDESCENDING CRITIQUES. IT IS HILARIOUS, AND I HAVE QUITE A FEW FOLLOWERS WHO AGREE WITH THAT. OTHERWISE THE BLOG WOULD BE DEAD, AND GUESS WHAT? IT ISN’T. UNLIKE YOURS, I DARESAY.

WHAT’S THAT? 3 PAGES LONG BLOG? ADMIT IT KID, YOU HAVE A BLACK CRUSH ON ME. CONSIDERING THAT BLACK CRUSHES ARE A THING, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF THIS MOCKERY.

-Officer Chainswag

Okay, what the actual fuck, you overconfident ass.

Y’know, just because your followers agree with you, that doesn’t make what you’re doing right. You may find it hilarious to scream and shout and use every sarcastic respone in the book, but those who drew what you post don’t find it so funny.

And… What?? What?? I don’t understand again, why the dickshitting fuck are you now implying my blog is dead because I haven’t been writing original content for it as of late?

You can’t be serious. You can’t tell me you honestly think I admire so much that I’d make a blog dedicated to your swollen mocking ass.

I don’t care about you in the least bit, you pompous dick. This blog exists for those who are effected by your awful attitude and ridicule.

[thecanonpolice]

MY, MY, MY…YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG. READ, IF YOU WILL, AND YOU’LL SEE THAT WE USUALLY START MOST POSTS WITH ‘WE WON’T BE CRITICIZING THE ARTIST’S DRAWING SKILLS’ BECAUSE, WELL, EVERYONE SUCKS IN THE BEGINNING? AND EVERYONE CAN GET BETTER AT DRAWING?

BUT THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT WON’T JUST MAGICALLY GET BETTER. NO MATTER HOW MANY HORRIBLE, SHIT-STAINED FANTROLLS YOU SPEW OFF YOUR SHIT-FILLED, CROOK-TEETHED MOUTH, IF NO ONE TELLS YOU THEY’RE SHIT, YOU WON’T MAKE THEM BETTER.

YOU SEE, WE MOCK THE FANTROLLS AS CHARACTERS, NOT AS DRAWINGS. THE IDEA BEHIND THEM. THE SHITTY THEMES. THE VAIN AND 2EDGY STUFF PEOPLE OFTEN THROW IN THEM BECAUSE ‘THEY LOOK RAD LOL’.

AS DORKLEER SAID WHEN WE OPENED THE BLOG: ‘LA MERDE DE LA MERDE’.

IF YOU CAN’T GRASP THIS SIMPLE CONCEPT, PERHAPS YOU’RE JUST TOO BUTTHURT ABOUT SOMETHING WE POSTED. IF YOU WANT US TO TAKE DOWN YOUR SHITTY OC, FEEL FREE TO CONTACT US AND ASK US POLITELY TO TAKE IT DOWN.

NOW GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND GO GET SOME ICE, THAT BUTT LOOKS SERIOUSLY DAMAGED.

[badartblogspleasestop-blog]

Let me just reblog this one more time to save a record of you shitting in your own shit, crying and calling me names. 

[thecanonpolice]

SURE THING, ALLOW ME TO REBLOG IT ONE LAST TIME, TOO. I WANT TO SAVE THIS MOMENT FOREVER. YOU, FORCING YOURSELF TO BELIEVE THAT YOU OUT-WITTED ME. OH BOY, WHAT JOY.

-Officer Chainswag

[thecanonpolice]

I'm tired of having nothing to do. Why doesn't anybody send in bad fantrolls nowadays?

WE KNOW, RIGHT? SADLY THERE ISN’T MUCH WE CAN DO, EITHER. I MEAN, WE *COULD* SEARCH FOR BAD FANTROLLS WHERE WE USUALLY DO, AND POST A QUICK BASH, OR AN EXTENSIVE ONE, BUT WHAT’S THE POINT? IF ANY OF THE “”“ARTISTS”“”, OR THE FRIENDS FINDS OUT, WE’LL PROBABLY HAVE TO PUT THE POSTS DOWN, EVEN THOUGH WE SPENT A GOOD AMMOUNT OF TIME ON THEM.

LIFE IS UNFAIR, MY FRIEND.

-Officer Chainswag

[badartblogspleasestop-blog]

thecanonpolice:

[badartblogspleasestop-blog]

WHAT I’M SAYING HERE IS THAT WHEN I’M LOOKING FOR A SCREWDRIVER, I KEEP BUMPING ON A ROTTEN PIECE OF USELESS WOOD THAT I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I KEEP AROUND. THAT PIECE OF WOOD, IS YOU MY FRIEND.

-Officer Chainswag

I have been looking at your blog. 

My, what quality reviews you give.

“SO SHE BASICALLY TYPES LIKE A 7~12 YEARS OLD PRETEEN(WHICH I’M ASSUMING IS THE MENTAL AGE OF THE CREATOR OF THIS MONSTROSITY). IT FITS THE THEME, IF THE THEME REVOLVES AROUND BEING ARTIFICIALLY CUTE AND OBNOXIOUS.”

"LOLOLO!!! THEY ARE DUMB AND I, THE IMPERIAL CHAINSWAGGY2DOPE, AM BETTER THAN THEM!!!!! HOW DARE POORLY DESIGNED CHARACTERS EXIST#"

Granted, sometimes you are actually giving advice that’s sound, but the rest of the time, you’re mocking things drawn by people younger than you for entertainment. Your attitude is gross and overconfident, and you are condescending as hell. 

And when it comes to finding ‘bad’ fantrolls when you’re looking for opens to respond to or whatever else… I can vaguely agree. Yes, there any many fantrolls out there who don’t abide canon in the least bit. But… This isn’t a problem?? Why do you take it upon yourself to bring justice upon people who are jsut having fun? (Petstuck/Petbloods aren’t included in ‘just having fun, that’s of a different grouping and they are legitimately disgusting, but some kid’s pinkblood skydweller is not related to that.)

Also… I don’t understand what you’re on about with the ‘double standard’ comment in the tags??? You seem to think that my pointing out the fact you’re mocking people is equally bad/worse than your mocking them? What?

DID I SAY THAT I ONLY GIVE THOUGHTFUL ADVICE TO TROUBLED PRETEENS TRYING TO BETTER THEMSELVES? NAH. I OFFER ADVICE. IT’S THERE. BUT I ALSO ENJOY DOING WHAT I DO. WRITING THOSE MOCKING AND CONDESCENDING CRITIQUES. IT IS HILARIOUS, AND I HAVE QUITE A FEW FOLLOWERS WHO AGREE WITH THAT. OTHERWISE THE BLOG WOULD BE DEAD, AND GUESS WHAT? IT ISN’T. UNLIKE YOURS, I DARESAY.

WHAT’S THAT? 3 PAGES LONG BLOG? ADMIT IT KID, YOU HAVE A BLACK CRUSH ON ME. CONSIDERING THAT BLACK CRUSHES ARE A THING, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF THIS MOCKERY.

-Officer Chainswag

Okay, what the actual fuck, you overconfident ass.

Y’know, just because your followers agree with you, that doesn’t make what you’re doing right. You may find it hilarious to scream and shout and use every sarcastic respone in the book, but those who drew what you post don’t find it so funny.

And… What?? What?? I don’t understand again, why the dickshitting fuck are you now implying my blog is dead because I haven’t been writing original content for it as of late?

You can’t be serious. You can’t tell me you honestly think I admire so much that I’d make a blog dedicated to your swollen mocking ass.

I don’t care about you in the least bit, you pompous dick. This blog exists for those who are effected by your awful attitude and ridicule.

[thecanonpolice]

MY, MY, MY...YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG. READ, IF YOU WILL, AND YOU'LL SEE THAT WE USUALLY START MOST POSTS WITH 'WE WON'T BE CRITICIZING THE ARTIST'S DRAWING SKILLS' BECAUSE, WELL, EVERYONE SUCKS IN THE BEGINNING? AND EVERYONE CAN GET BETTER AT DRAWING?

BUT THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT WON'T JUST MAGICALLY GET BETTER. NO MATTER HOW MANY HORRIBLE, SHIT-STAINED FANTROLLS YOU SPEW OFF YOUR SHIT-FILLED, CROOK-TEETHED MOUTH, IF NO ONE TELLS YOU THEY'RE SHIT, YOU WON'T MAKE THEM BETTER.

YOU SEE, WE MOCK THE FANTROLLS AS CHARACTERS, NOT AS DRAWINGS. THE IDEA BEHIND THEM. THE SHITTY THEMES. THE VAIN AND 2EDGY STUFF PEOPLE OFTEN THROW IN THEM BECAUSE 'THEY LOOK RAD LOL'.

AS DORKLEER SAID WHEN WE OPENED THE BLOG: 'LA MERDE DE LA MERDE'.

IF YOU CAN'T GRASP THIS SIMPLE CONCEPT, PERHAPS YOU'RE JUST TOO BUTTHURT ABOUT SOMETHING WE POSTED. IF YOU WANT US TO TAKE DOWN YOUR SHITTY OC, FEEL FREE TO CONTACT US AND ASK US POLITELY TO TAKE IT DOWN.

NOW GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND GO GET SOME ICE, THAT BUTT LOOKS SERIOUSLY DAMAGED.

[thecanonpolice]

I'm tired of having nothing to do. Why doesn't anybody send in bad fantrolls nowadays?

WE KNOW, RIGHT? SADLY THERE ISN’T MUCH WE CAN DO, EITHER. I MEAN, WE *COULD* SEARCH FOR BAD FANTROLLS WHERE WE USUALLY DO, AND POST A QUICK BASH, OR AN EXTENSIVE ONE, BUT WHAT’S THE POINT? IF ANY OF THE “”“ARTISTS”“”, OR THE FRIENDS FINDS OUT, WE’LL PROBABLY HAVE TO PUT THE POSTS DOWN, EVEN THOUGH WE SPENT A GOOD AMMOUNT OF TIME ON THEM.

LIFE IS UNFAIR, MY FRIEND.

-Officer Chainswag

[thecanonpolice]

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS UNFAIR, THOUGH?

SPENDING A LOT OF TIME READING A WEBCOMIC, UNDERSTANDING HOW IT WORKS TO SOME EXTENT, HOW CHARACTERS DEVELOP, AND WHAT IS EXPECTED FROM OC’S TO BE CANONICALLY ACCURATE, ONLY TO GO INTO THE TAGS WHERE YOU EXPECT TO MEET CREATIVE PEOPLE SUCH AS YOURSELF AND FIND OUT PINKBLOODS, BLACKBLOODS, AND OTHER KINDS OF SHIT. DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON FUCKING *PETSTUCK*

THAT’S KINDA UNFAIR, I THINK.

-Officer Chainswag

[badartblogspleasestop-blog]

I won’t ever deny that the way many people create fantrolls is problematic, but I don’t see any good reason for a blog like yours to exist. Pointing and laughing helps no one learn

[thecanonpolice]

PLEASE, JUDGEMENTAL FRIEND, HAVE A LONG HARD LOOK AT OUR BLOG, AND SEE IF THERE’S NO REASON FOR IT TO EXIST. POINTING AND LAUGHING AT THEM IS A PART OF IT, TRUE ENOUGH. BUT WE DO PROVIDE EXTENSIVE CRITIQUES THAT ACTUALLY HELP PEOPLE IMPROVE. WE KNOW, FOR INSTANCE, THAT PEOPLE WHO ASKED FOR THEIR TROLLS TO BE TAKEN DOWN FROM OUR BLOG HAD PRODUCED, AFTERWARDS, REVAMPS OF THESE TROLLS ON A MUCH MORE DETAILED, CANON-LIKE WAY. SO, IF YOU CAN’T SEE THAT, THEN PERHAPS YOU’RE NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE BOX.

WHAT I’M SAYING HERE IS THAT WHEN I’M LOOKING FOR A SCREWDRIVER, I KEEP BUMPING ON A ROTTEN PIECE OF USELESS WOOD THAT I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I KEEP AROUND. THAT PIECE OF WOOD, IS YOU MY FRIEND.

-Officer Chainswag

[badartblogspleasestop-blog]

I have been looking at your blog. 

My, what quality reviews you give.

“SO SHE BASICALLY TYPES LIKE A 7~12 YEARS OLD PRETEEN(WHICH I’M ASSUMING IS THE MENTAL AGE OF THE CREATOR OF THIS MONSTROSITY). IT FITS THE THEME, IF THE THEME REVOLVES AROUND BEING ARTIFICIALLY CUTE AND OBNOXIOUS.”

"LOLOLO!!! THEY ARE DUMB AND I, THE IMPERIAL CHAINSWAGGY2DOPE, AM BETTER THAN THEM!!!!! HOW DARE POORLY DESIGNED CHARACTERS EXIST#"

Granted, sometimes you are actually giving advice that’s sound, but the rest of the time, you’re mocking things drawn by people younger than you for entertainment. Your attitude is gross and overconfident, and you are condescending as hell. 

And when it comes to finding ‘bad’ fantrolls when you’re looking for opens to respond to or whatever else… I can vaguely agree. Yes, there any many fantrolls out there who don’t abide canon in the least bit. But… This isn’t a problem?? Why do you take it upon yourself to bring justice upon people who are jsut having fun? (Petstuck/Petbloods aren’t included in ‘just having fun, that’s of a different grouping and they are legitimately disgusting, but some kid’s pinkblood skydweller is not related to that.)

Also… I don’t understand what you’re on about with the ‘double standard’ comment in the tags??? You seem to think that my pointing out the fact you’re mocking people is equally bad/worse than your mocking them? What?

[thecanonpolice]

DID I SAY THAT I ONLY GIVE THOUGHTFUL ADVICE TO TROUBLED PRETEENS TRYING TO BETTER THEMSELVES? NAH. I OFFER ADVICE. IT'S THERE. BUT I ALSO ENJOY DOING WHAT I DO. WRITING THOSE MOCKING AND CONDESCENDING CRITIQUES. IT IS HILARIOUS, AND I HAVE QUITE A FEW FOLLOWERS WHO AGREE WITH THAT. OTHERWISE THE BLOG WOULD BE DEAD, AND GUESS WHAT? IT ISN'T. UNLIKE YOURS, I DARESAY.

WHAT'S THAT? 3 PAGES LONG BLOG? ADMIT IT KID, YOU HAVE A BLACK CRUSH ON ME. CONSIDERING THAT BLACK CRUSHES ARE A THING, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF THIS MOCKERY.

-Officer Chainswag

[thecanonpolice]

I'm tired of having nothing to do. Why doesn't anybody send in bad fantrolls nowadays?

WE KNOW, RIGHT? SADLY THERE ISN’T MUCH WE CAN DO, EITHER. I MEAN, WE *COULD* SEARCH FOR BAD FANTROLLS WHERE WE USUALLY DO, AND POST A QUICK BASH, OR AN EXTENSIVE ONE, BUT WHAT’S THE POINT? IF ANY OF THE “”“ARTISTS”“”, OR THE FRIENDS FINDS OUT, WE’LL PROBABLY HAVE TO PUT THE POSTS DOWN, EVEN THOUGH WE SPENT A GOOD AMMOUNT OF TIME ON THEM.

LIFE IS UNFAIR, MY FRIEND.

-Officer Chainswag

[badartblogspleasestop-blog]

You know what else is unfair, though?

Spending a lot of time creating a character and not really knowing much about the series but having fun anyway, only to have your art bashed on a blog made for hatred. That’s kinda unfair, I think. 

[thecanonpolice]

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS UNFAIR, THOUGH?

SPENDING A LOT OF TIME READING A WEBCOMIC, UNDERSTANDING HOW IT WORKS TO SOME EXTENT, HOW CHARACTERS DEVELOP, AND WHAT IS EXPECTED FROM OC’S TO BE CANONICALLY ACCURATE, ONLY TO GO INTO THE TAGS WHERE YOU EXPECT TO MEET CREATIVE PEOPLE SUCH AS YOURSELF AND FIND OUT PINKBLOODS, BLACKBLOODS, AND OTHER KINDS OF SHIT. DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON FUCKING *PETSTUCK*

THAT’S KINDA UNFAIR, I THINK.

-Officer Chainswag

[badartblogspleasestop-blog]

I won’t ever deny that the way many people create fantrolls is problematic, but I don’t see any good reason for a blog like yours to exist. Pointing and laughing helps no one learn

[thecanonpolice]

PLEASE, JUDGEMENTAL FRIEND, HAVE A LONG HARD LOOK AT OUR BLOG, AND SEE IF THERE’S NO REASON FOR IT TO EXIST. POINTING AND LAUGHING AT THEM IS A PART OF IT, TRUE ENOUGH. BUT WE DO PROVIDE EXTENSIVE CRITIQUES THAT ACTUALLY HELP PEOPLE IMPROVE. WE KNOW, FOR INSTANCE, THAT PEOPLE WHO ASKED FOR THEIR TROLLS TO BE TAKEN DOWN FROM OUR BLOG HAD PRODUCED, AFTERWARDS, REVAMPS OF THESE TROLLS ON A MUCH MORE DETAILED, CANON-LIKE WAY. SO, IF YOU CAN’T SEE THAT, THEN PERHAPS YOU’RE NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE BOX.

WHAT I’M SAYING HERE IS THAT WHEN I’M LOOKING FOR A SCREWDRIVER, I KEEP BUMPING ON A ROTTEN PIECE OF USELESS WOOD THAT I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I KEEP AROUND. THAT PIECE OF WOOD, IS YOU MY FRIEND.

-Officer Chainswag

[thecanonpolice]

I'm tired of having nothing to do. Why doesn't anybody send in bad fantrolls nowadays?

WE KNOW, RIGHT? SADLY THERE ISN’T MUCH WE CAN DO, EITHER. I MEAN, WE *COULD* SEARCH FOR BAD FANTROLLS WHERE WE USUALLY DO, AND POST A QUICK BASH, OR AN EXTENSIVE ONE, BUT WHAT’S THE POINT? IF ANY OF THE “”“ARTISTS”“”, OR THE FRIENDS FINDS OUT, WE’LL PROBABLY HAVE TO PUT THE POSTS DOWN, EVEN THOUGH WE SPENT A GOOD AMMOUNT OF TIME ON THEM.

LIFE IS UNFAIR, MY FRIEND.

-Officer Chainswag

[badartblogspleasestop-blog]

You know what else is unfair, though?

Spending a lot of time creating a character and not really knowing much about the series but having fun anyway, only to have your art bashed on a blog made for hatred. That’s kinda unfair, I think. 

[thecanonpolice]

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS UNFAIR, THOUGH?

SPENDING A LOT OF TIME READING A WEBCOMIC, UNDERSTANDING HOW IT WORKS TO SOME EXTENT, HOW CHARACTERS DEVELOP, AND WHAT IS EXPECTED FROM OC'S TO BE CANONICALLY ACCURATE, ONLY TO GO INTO THE TAGS WHERE YOU EXPECT TO MEET CREATIVE PEOPLE SUCH AS YOURSELF AND FIND OUT PINKBLOODS, BLACKBLOODS, AND OTHER KINDS OF SHIT. DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON FUCKING *PETSTUCK*

THAT'S KINDA UNFAIR, I THINK.

-Officer Chainswag

[thecanonpolice]

I just thought of "Anything you say, canon will be held against you" and your blog immediately came to mind

I HAVE THE WEIRDEST BONER. WILL SAVE FOR FUTURE ANTI-SHITTY-OC'S RAIDS.

-Officer Chainswag

[thecanonpolice]

I'm tired of having nothing to do. Why doesn't anybody send in bad fantrolls nowadays?

WE KNOW, RIGHT? SADLY THERE ISN'T MUCH WE CAN DO, EITHER. I MEAN, WE *COULD* SEARCH FOR BAD FANTROLLS WHERE WE USUALLY DO, AND POST A QUICK BASH, OR AN EXTENSIVE ONE, BUT WHAT'S THE POINT? IF ANY OF THE """ARTISTS""", OR THE FRIENDS FINDS OUT, WE'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO PUT THE POSTS DOWN, EVEN THOUGH WE SPENT A GOOD AMMOUNT OF TIME ON THEM.

LIFE IS UNFAIR, MY FRIEND.

-Officer Chainswag

[thecanonpolice]

200 POSTS MILESTONE

WE DID IT AGAIN, KIDS. WE CONQUERED ANOTHER SET OF A HUNDRED POSTS. THANKS FOR FOLLOWING US, SENDING US REQUESTS AND ASKS, AND ALL OF THAT.

WE HAVE SOME REQUESTS WE'RE WORKING ON(WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE DELAY, OUR SPRITE MASTERMIND IS HAVING ISSUES WITH THE COMPUTER). BUT WE HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU.

NOW, FOR THE REST OF YOU GUYS, IF YOU HAVE A FANTROLL YOU NEED HELP WITH, OR A FINISHED FANTROLL THAT YOU'D LIKE REVIEWED, PLEASE SUBMIT IT TO US, OR SEND US AN ASK, AND WE'LL(MORE LIKELY I, MYSELF) WRITE A REVIEW, TELLING YOU WHAT'S WRONG AND WHAT'S COOL WITH YOUR TROLL. GIVING YOU IDEAS TO IMPROVE IT, OR SIMPLE PLAIN PRAISE IF YOUR WORK IS ALREADY SUPERB.

DON'T BE SHY, GUYS. WE'RE HERE FOR Y'ALL.

[thecanonpolice]

que pedo con todas las personas que hacen fantrolls horribles -.- deberian de dispararles en el pie (oh my god it feels so wierd to type in spanish after not speaking it for so long)

HAY PERSONAS Y PERSONAS, SUPONGO. EL OBJETIVO DE ESTE BLOG NO ES RIDICULIZARLAS AL PUNTO DE QUE SE VAYAN DEL FANDOM, SINO MAS BIEN, RIDICULIZARLAS AL PUNTO DE QUE DECIDAN NO HACER MAS FANTROLLS HORRIBLES. TU ESPAÑOL SIGUE ESTANDO BIEN.

EN: THERE ARE TYPES AND TYPES OF PEOPLE, I SUPPOSE. THIS BLOG'S OBJECTIVE IS NOT TO MAKE FUN OF THEM UNTIL THEY LEAVE THE FANDOM, BUT RATHER, MAKING FUN OF THEM UNTIL THEY STOP PRODUCING HORRIBLE FANTROLLS. YOUR SPANISH IS STILL GOOD.

-Officer Chainswag(Wielding languages like a motherfucking dual wielding swordsman of justice and purity)

[thecanonpolice]

Mourning Hiatus

GIVEN THE RECENT UPDATE EVENTS(IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT, THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GO SUFFER LIKE US) WE'LL PROBABLY NEED ANOTHER MONTH OR TWO BEFORE POSTING NEW MATERIAL.

PLEASE UNDERSTAND, IT WAS MY FAVORITE SHIP AND IT'S MORE SUNKEN THAN SS FUCKING TITANIC.

-Officer Chainswag