Enneagram: How to get along with the types.
- Be responsible for yourself, so I don’t have to do that for you, too.
- I’m hard on myself. Assure me that I’m good, just the way I am.
- Tell me that you appreciate my advices.
- Be fair, and attentive, like I am.
- Apologize when you are wrong. This helps me forgive.
- Help me loosen up a bit, and teach me how to laugh at myself. But please, listen to my concerns first.
(Most common type among ISTJs, ESTJs, and INTJs)
- Tell me you appreciate me. Be specific about why.
- Share your joy with me.
- Do care about my problem, even if I’m busy with yours.
- Let me know that I’m important and special to you.
- Please be gentle, even if you have to criticize me.
- In intimate relationships; assure me that you’re still interested in me.
- Remind me that you love me.
- Tell me I’m attractive, and you really like when people see us together.
(Most common type among ISFJs, ESFJs, ESFPs, INFJs, and ENFJs)
- Leave me alone when I work.
- Please give me honest, but not critical feedback.
- Help me to organize, and to keep my environment neat.
- Don’t burden me with negative emotions.
- Tell me that you like being with me.
- Tell me that you’re proud of me and my achievements.
(Most common type among ESTJs, ENTJs, and ENFJs)
- Give me compliments often. They mean a lot.
- Be a supportive friend, or partner. Help me to love others and to appreciate myself.
- Please keep the power of my intuition, and foresight in respect.
- Though I don’t always want people to cheer me up from my melancholy, sometimes you still have to bring back the light to my inner world.
- DON’T tell me, that I’m too sensitive, or I overreact something!
(Most common type among ISFPs, INFJs, and INFPs)
- Please be independent, not a puppy.
- Talk shortly, and straightforwardly.
- I need to be alone to think.
- Remember, if I appear to be distant, or arrogant, that’s because I feel uncomfortable.
- Show me that you’re happy to see me, but don’t ever overact because that makes me doubt your honesty.
- If I have to repeat something I said, and I become irritated, that’s because it was hard to say for the first time even.
- Help me to avoid big parties, loud people, overheated emotions, and the violation of my privacy.
(Most common type among ISTPs, INTJs, and INTPs)
- Be straightforward and honest with me.
- Pay attention to me.
- Please don’t condemn me for my worry.
- Let’s solve our problems together.
- Assure me that everything’s OK between us.
- Laugh, and joke around with me.
- Lead me gently to new experiences.
- Don’t overreact when I overreact something.
(Most common type among ISTJs, ESTJs, ISFJs, and ESFJs)
- Give me company, kindness, and freedom.
- Have stimulating conversations, and laugh with me.
- Appreciate my ideas, and listen to my stories.
- Don’t try to change me. Accept me for who I am.
- Be independent. I don’t like babysitting others.
- Please don’t tell me what to do.
(Most common type among ESTPs, ENTPs, ESFPs, and ENFPs)
- Stand up for yourself… and for me.
- Be confident, strong, and straightforward.
- Don’t talk behind my back and don’t abuse my trust.
- Dare to be vulnerable, and share your feelings with me. Notice, and admit that I have a delicate side, too.
- Give me space to be alone.
- Admit, and appreciate the things I do for you, but don’t try to dazzle me.
- I often talk passionately. Please don’t take it personally.
- When I rage, I break things, or I shout. Remember, this is how I work.
(Most common type among ESTPs, ENTJs, and ENTPs)
- It’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it. I’m sensitive to pressure and expectations.
- I like being quiet and to serve, but don’t take advantage of me.
- Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking, not even when I digress a little.
- Give me enough time for decisions, and tasks. But you can push me gently.
- Ask, if something’s not clear.
- Please tell me, if you like me. It won’t go to my head.
- Hug me, and show me your emotions physically. This helps me to open up.
- I like a good conversation, but not an argument.
- Let me know, if I did or said something right.
- Laugh with me, and share your happiness with me.
(Most common type among ISTPs, INTPs, ISFPs and INFPs)