MOVED TO THECAVEMANSWARRIORPRINCESS

Elena Gilbert Vampire Forever 18 Multiverse & Multifandom Main Verse is CanonTracking: thecavemanswarriorprincess

[ryan-the-sinner]

Paradise Circus

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  He licks his lips and sighs deeply. Of course there was always that risk, the off chance that the vampire lifestyle would be too hard for her, the blood lust and heightened emotions would take a toll on her psyche. “New Moon? What does that even mean?” He shakes his head and scoots closer to her. “I can’t answer those questions for you Elena, not until we find out when the need for you to feed arises. As for you… meaning to die back there, I don’t believe that for a fucking second. After all it’s not everyday an ancestor of yours jumps into your body because they know it’s strong enough to put up with it, along with any other supernatural occurrences. You’ve been through too much, much worse things, to think that your death should have been by the hands of Jackson.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

“Never mind” she said, waving off the New Moon thing. Elena glanced down, beginning to play with her fingers when he spoke about her death. She couldn’t say that she agreed with him, but she couldn’t disagree with him either. “I guess...but it happened...in the worst possible way that it could have happened. Being in that water...brought me straight back to the accident. And then...then I was chained and I couldn’t get back up and even once I did it was like...there was this barrier and...it was horrifying” she said, tearing up at the memory alone. 

[ryan-the-sinner-deactivated2014]

Just One Yesterday

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  Another press of his lips to the top of her head and he pulls back from her. “Whatever you decide to do, I’m with you one hundred percent. Our relationship, is the most important thing to me, or at least, repairing the relationship we once had.” He will spend the rest of his days making up for the past few months that have broken them down to their very cores, leaving them raw and vulnerable, facing things they never thought they would have to. Question just where they stood not only as people, but as a couple. “If Bonnie and Jeremy don’t have room, I’ll get an apartment for myself and you can move in the loft. Or, I’ll get you an apartment and I’ll stay in the loft. Whatever it takes, we’re going to make this work in the end.” He’s thankful that she’s willing to take another chance, sure it’s not immediate but it’s truly for the best so they can grow stronger apart and be even better in the long run. “I love you, Elena. I’ve spent my life doing so and i’m not going to let that all fall through my fingers when there’s something I can do to fix it.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

Looking up at him, she pressed her lips together in a small smile. She really did want to try and fix things between them, even if she knew that it would be a massive struggle. They had been through so much together that there were bound to be arguments and Elena knew that they would mainly surround the fact that she miscarried. She didn't want to resent him, knowing the chance of having another child was slim to none. It wasn't his fault, it was hers and now, it always would be. She hated herself for it. She didn't want it to come between them, but right now she couldn't find the words to phrase it. "I don't want you to waste your money on another place. If Bonnie and Jer don't have room then I can just sleep on the couch. It's really not a big deal" she shrugged.

[ryan-the-sinner-deactivated2014]

Just One Yesterday

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  This is what home feels like. Yes it’s in shambles, broken pieces, and stained with pain but this is home. Elena has always been that for him, the one place he could truly be who he was instead of what people expected from him. He inhales sharply and kisses the top of her head. “Because we’ve done it before, Elena,” he reminds her. “We did it when my mother died, we did it when Miranda and Grayson passed. We did it when the halls rumbled with rumors of us, when he fought against all odds and stuck together when the world left us to starve.” His hands tighten their grip around her and he chokes back a small sob. “And we’ll do it again. We’ll be better than last time, like we always are, and we’ll keep fighting until we get it right. My job now offers me the same amount of money with time off as needed, vacations, holidays, and weekends off when I can. This company is a truly family focused one, unlike that hell hole I was at now that took my heart and soul away from me.” Took you away from me. “I will do what’s necessary to get us back, even if means moving back here and traveling to New York for work. I won’t give up on us Elena, never have and never will.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

Her lower lip is trembling as she tries to hold herself together. They had been through so much together, so much pain and heartache that she wasn’t sure if a person could handle so much grief. But somehow, they always came out on top. It didn’t make it any less painful nor did it act as an excuse for their outbursts or actions. “I don’t want you to leave. New York, I mean. You shouldn’t have to do that” she said, holding him tighter so he wouldn’t pull away from her. She needed the warmth and comfort that he offered more than anything. “I...I’ll move to New York. Even if I have to stay with Bonnie and Jeremy for awhile or sleep in a guest room. We can make this work...but I can’t jump back into us. I want to...but I don’t think I’m in a position where I can make things work without picking a fight or...I just don’t think jumping back into things is going to be the best thing right now..” 

[ryan-the-sinner]

Paradise Circus

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  He can feel the shame and doubt, even if her mouth doesn’t make the words come to life. he knows that feeling, feeling as if you’ve done the worst possible thing in the world by becoming the thing of nightmares. Relying on the life of others to keep your own one going. “It’ doesn’t get easier,” he says as they ride the silence back to the house. “It doesn’t get easier but it does become, normal. With my clubs, there are feedings allowed, but only if the human willlingly and consciously agreees to it. There is no compulsion or manipulation about the whole thing. If we as supernatural beings are going to survuve in this world, we need to come together with the humans and ensure them that we are not here to hurt them or enslave them. You will not become Jackson Elena.” I won’t allow it. “Yes his blood is the reason you are who you are but that does not mean that you are him, you’re soul is too good to be tainted with such darkness. If I could, I’d drain his blood from you and give you mine, wash away all traces of him if it would make you feel better.”  It should’ve been me. I should’ve turned you. “I’m sorry for all of this, Elena. Truly I am.”

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

Elena had never thought of Jackson's blood acting as a gamechanger. She didn't believe that his blood would decide whether or not she was bad. What worried her was the change period. The type of person she would be. "But what if I can't control it, Ry? What if...what if I'm a monster. What if blood drives me crazy or I see a human and I want to go all New Moon on him?" She asked, raising a brow as she slumped back against the seat. "Or what if I'm just not cut out for any of this and I was meant to die back there?"

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  He sees it even before she even realizes it. The way her shoulders hunch, the sligh tremble in her lip, and the siny film over her eyes. “Elena….” It seems he doesn’t have to say much else before she’s in his arms, head pressed into his shoulder as the tears silently shake her body. “Oh baby girl….” Even with how fucked up the situation is, he can’t help but enjoy simply having her in his arms again after too fucking long. He can feel the wetness spreading on his shirt and all he can do not to fall apart is bury his nose in the depths of her hair and stand with her, rocing their bodies slowly. “We’re going to be okay,” he says softly, running his hand up and down her back. “We’re going to be okay……” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

The sobs wracked her body, soaking his shirt as her hands balled into the fabric. She had missed him, been miserable without him. There was so much that they needed to talk about, so much that she didn’t want to talk about but right now, she only wanted the closeness and comfort that he was granting her. “H--how are we going to be okay when nothing is okay?” She asked, taking in a sharp breath. “I just wanted to be happy and be with you and now everything is a mess and I can’t get over it. I know I can’t.”

[ryan-the-sinner]

Paradise Circus

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  He meets her surprised eyes with a shrug and tears into his blood bag. “Later,” he says once it’s emptied, tossing the plastic aside. “Right now, I want to get you the hell out of here, clean, and into some fresh clothes. Hell I’ll even order you a feast of any food you want and let you lie around for the rest of the day and play every single movie you can think of.” Amidst his rambling, he takes sight of her make the choice that will forever change whatever this is between them and instead of focusing on what will only become an argument later, he finds himself another bag and drains it quickly. “I’ll answer any and all questions you have, but right now….right now I just want to breathe.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

Veins flood beneath her eyes and she can feel a set of fangs emerge from her gums at the first taste of blood. The hunger took over immediately, draining the bag in less than a minute before she pulled back with a look that almost resembled regret. Her life as a human had flashed before her eyes and she was terrified that she had made the wrong choice. Her eyes flickered over to Ryan, swallowing thickly and running her tongue between her lips. “I...right. Yeah, me too” she agreed, letting out a shaky breath as she slumped back into the seat. 

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  He smirks in spite of himself and must admit she had a point; all she did was ask a simple question and he snapped at her. He folds his arms across his chest and bites back an annoyed sigh as she throws his harshness back in his face. “No. One deserves all the time they need to heal, to feel the pain of tragedy. But no one should have to wallow in it by themselves,” he reminds her with a raised brow. “One deserves to cherish and love those around them even when they don’t feel like it, because when one person hurts, everyone they love and who loves them hurts too because they don’t know what to say.” He’d come about this all wrong, perhaps that was the group’s attempt, show Elena how much of an ass he really was and hope that would be enough to snap he rout of her funk and put him out of her life forever. “I didn’t come here to fight Elena,” he says after a few moments. “All we’ve done is fight since New York and I’m tired. I’m tired of hurting and I’m tired of hurting you.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

Eyes watered as her lower lip trembled. She was fiddling with the hem of one of the shirts she had just folded, listening to him and trying to come to an understanding that he only meant well. She didn't want to fight him. In fact, she had longed for his prescence more and more over the past few weeks. Looking up at him, her lower lip jutted outwards and she moved towards him. Arms easily slid around him and the contact alone made her cry, muffling the noises in the crook of his neck.

[ryan-the-sinner]

Paradise Circus

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  “No,” he says after a few moments, aiding her into the car and pulling free a few blood bags. “My breed of vampires, the one Jackson is apart of, don’t react to the sun like the brothers do. Does it get annoying? Drain a bit of our energy? Yeah, but it can’t turn us to dust unless we’re dead.” Hence the reason Jackson’s body was all ash now.A subtle nod of his head and they’re pulling out of the damned warehouse, away from the horrendous acts that have just occurred leaving Elena with the life altering decision he hoped would have been made under different circumstances. “Think of it as real freaky humans with sharp teeth and a sun allergy. Human food is still edible, heightened senses as you already know. And….and the ability to procreate…” He lets the news hang between them and leans back, his own blood bag in hand. “It’s all…very simple really, just the fucking hunger is the worst.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

The ability to procreate. A game changer. One so huge that when he said it, she was speechless and her doe eyes had widened slightly. “How...” she trailed, but she didn’t need an answer or any kind of explanation. It was still in the cards, meaning that she could one day possibly have a family. She fiddled with the blood bag he had passed her, scrunching her nose as she looked down at it. Everything in her told her she needed it, the hunger only making her gums throb more than before. She wasn’t sure how much she would regret it later, if at all, but there was hope. Pulling the top off the bag, she swallowed thickly and hesitated for a moment before at last bringing it to her lips to indulge.

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ] Damn woman. He relents with a shake of his head and leans against the door, feet crossing at the ankles as they silently wager with one another. It’s over before it really begins and sh turns from him to meet the street, probably remembering the time when life wasn’t so fucked up and anything could be solved with a drink or a romp around in the back of someone’s car. Chocolate hues meet his iris’ once more and he chuckles humorlessly. “Being able to take a fucking breath at the end of the week sounds like a better position to me,” he grits. “Not having to prove myself to every one I come across, being able to actually choose the trips I want to take and let someone else go on the ones I don’t. Living, sounds like a better position to me.”

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

Elena pursed her lips, folding a shirt before she placed it down and let out a huff. “It was a simple question, Ry, not a reason to start up another argument” she said, running her tongue between her lips before she turned to him. “But yeah, living does sound like a better position, doesn’t it?” She asked. “It’s sad how many people are actually robbed of that choice. But I guess I should just move past it, right? A month is all one is allowed to mourn before they’re lectured to get past it and move on with life?” 

[ryan-the-sinner]

Paradise Circus

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  The moments tock by as she comes to the realization that the life she once knew is no more. That she’ll no longer have the freedoms she once had as a human. That will probably be years, maybe even centuries before she’ll be able to be around humans again. That even then control won’t always be on her side. But he knows one thing for certain; he’ll be with her every step and stumble of the way.He’ll be her punching bag when the world seems to be imploding her senses all at once and she wants to crawl out of her skin. Her confidant when she had no one else to turn to. No doubt Gina would be there for her as well, after she beat the living shit out of him first that was. Her small hand soon finds its home in his own and he sighs a breath of relief. “It won’t always be okay,” he says as they walk outside, smartly enough preparing a car for their departure already. “But I will always be here. Gina too.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

Elena nodded her head, wondering what it would be like to live for an eternity, but still worrying about her family, her friends...how they would go on. Of course they would go on just fine without her, but she worried about what this would do for her brother. She knew if he got bad enough, like the way he had when their parents died, that she would have to step in and do something about it. Her free hand rubbed at her temple, eyes already so sensitive to the light. “Am I going to need a daylight ring like the Salvatore brothers?” She asked curiously, trying to ignore the dull pain in her gums. 

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ] “I’m not trying to fight with you! That’s the whole point! You can’t let this shit fester, Elena. It will kill you.” She’s so fucking lucky and she doesn’t even realize it. Not once had anyone called to see how he was coping, see how he was handling all that had happened. He guesses it makes sense; they were her family, had been before he had even come into the picture really. This was his mess and he would have to clean it up on his own. ‘Being a man comes with the realization that no one is really here to help you,’ his father had once told him. ‘Only use and see what you can do for them. Life is business, Ryan. You just have to find the right partners and investments.’ “None of this makes any sense or is even the slightest bit fair.” His voice is softer now as the storm cloud passes above them, the air cleanses a bit and he can finally fucking see straight since he’s been here. “What I do know is that you have people here, that are willing got put their life on hold for you because you need someone to help you get back on your feet. Not for pity or cause they feel like they need too. But because they love you and want to be there for you while you go through this. Stop shutting everyone out because you think it’s best, because you think they feel obligated to be here. Or that they owe you, or whatever has got you stuck in this fucking room and keeping you from talking to anyone about this. Let it in, Elena. Cause it’s gonna fucking hurt but it will all be fucking worth it one the other side.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

Elena glanced over at him but was stubbornly silent. With arms folded under her chest, she walked over to the window and stared out at the street. It was the same street that they’d played basketball on growing up, where they played hopscotch on the sidewalk and kickball in the field a few houses down. Pursing her lips together, she turned away and glanced back over at him. “How’ve you been?” She asked, dismissing his words though not disregarding them completely. “Bonnie told me that you’ve got this new job. Can’t imagine it’s a better position though” she said, walking over to fold some laundry that had been piled in a chair for days. 

[ryan-the-sinner]

Paradise Circus

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ] His brows furrow in wonder as the gears turn in her head, mind working out every possible detail and need to know before she makes her decision. He takes a deep breath in as they stand in silence, patience wearing thin before her gavel comes down and he’s left shell shocked all over again. Wait…what? Her reasoning isn’t odd; quite the opposite really. More and more people were turning because they would rather watch their families from afar than bring them anymore pain. make them believe they had died and just make sure they were okay before living their own lives for the best. “The sun should be down soon, we have plenty of time to get you out of here, fed, and changed out of those clothes.” Even looking at her now with her decision made, he can’t help the rock forming in his gut at what it took to for this choice to come to life. He holds his hand out for her to take and offers her a sorrowful smile. “Let’s go Elena.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

Even as he tells her to leave, that they have time to get out, feed, and get changed her eyes flicker towards the pool. To know that hours ago, she was a human and her biggest issue was being upset about leaving Ryan behind--well, it was surreal. Of course, she knew that Jackson would have come for her sooner or later but she always thought that Ryan would have been able to save her. The Salvatore brothers had brought her here and regardless as to whether or not their intentions were good, she was dead. Ryan had a plan. This was not part of it. She briefly wondered as to whether or not she’d still be alive had the brothers not gotten involved. She forced herself not to think about that option, instead glancing at the raven’s offered hand. Pressing her lips together, she slid her hand into his and allowed him to lead the way. 

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  “You think I don’t get that!? I lost a child too, Elena. Carried in your womb yes, and I will not take away the physical and emotional torment you went through when you miscarried, but that child was a part of me as just as much as it was a part of you. That fucking loft in New York is a barren of what it once was. I spend my days coming home and drinking myself to unconsciousness because at least then, my nightmares can’t get to me. But that doesn’t save me from the morning where everywhere I fucking look all I see is you, families and the life we should’ve had. We could’ve had. Yes, it was fucking stupid and selfish of me to bring you up there with no real guarantee of how my schedule was and how it might affect us. Yes, I should have looked at other options to make sure that I was there for you when you needed me to be. I reacted first and thought too late, it’s kind of my fucking superpower. But not once did I ever do it to spite you, or to make you feel invaluable. I fucked up okay? I put too much thought into spoiling you and proving to you that we could have it all if I just busted my ass and lost sight of the fact that none of it mattered because as long as we had each other; the rest of the world can fucking burn. I will never, ever sit here in your face and act as if I know the hell you’re going through right now. What you went through when Grayson and Miranda died. Nor will I ever guilt you for anything you do, but don’t you fucking dare sit here and say that I can’t fucking comprehend pain. That I don’t know heartbreak and agony. That I’m just this fucking child trying to move a fucking mountain with begging, pleading, and stomping my feet. I’m trying to at least get you to talk to Caroline, Bonnie even. Not be held up in this fucking room waiting for the world to come physically crashing down around you.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

“Stop, stop, stop, stop! I know all of this already! Just stop talking about it! I don’t want to talk about that and I never want to go there again. Stop saying those words! Do not even mention the word family to me because yes, we could have had a family and now we can’t! It doesn’t even matter what happens to us. You and I may work out but we will never have a family so stop saying the word, stop mentioning it, just stop talking about it” she said, her hand in front of him and her eyes closed. She was quiet for a moment, as if she were trying to calm down. She was holding herself together, barely hanging on by a thread. “I don’t blame you. I don’t know how many times I have to say it to you, or to Caroline but this isn’t all your fault. We both played our roles and for whatever reason, this is the hand that we’ve been dealt. And I...” Elena swallowed, opening her eyes but only to look towards the ceiling to try to blink away her tears. “I can’t for the life of me understand why we have been put through so much torture. Why everything I love has been ripped away from me. I...just...stop. I can’t fight with you anymore.” 

[ryan-the-sinner]

Paradise Circus

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  He flinches as her array of harsh words hit their target, the raven stiffening his spine as she finally wears herself down from her tirade. He understands her point, hell he made the fucking choice centuries ago and he can still feel the guilt creeping along his subconscious with the decision to abandon everything he ever stood for because he was selfish and didn’t want to die without at least taking down those who made him this way to begin with while taking his family from him. “Then let’s go.” His voice is void of any emotion as her cards have been laid down before both of them, her decision already made and staring him dead in the eye. “We’ll go back to Mystic Falls where you can say goodbye to everyone and die just like this. I won’t force your hand in something that’s clearly the last thing you want. If we’re fast you should be able to see Caroline, Bonnie, Jeremy. Even your precious Salvatore brothers before your final moments.” He’s so emotionally drained at this point. Done with the constant fighting against the only person he knew that didn’t want to live. “Let’s go, Elena.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

Elena stopped, swallowing thickly at the mention of Jeremy’s name. Damon and Stefan had probably gone home to tell them that their sister wasn’t coming back...that she was dead. They’d probably leave out the fact that it was their fault before ultimately skipping town, but that didn’t seem to be a big issue. Elena took a step back from the raven in front of her and looked over towards Jackson. “Jeremy can’t see me like this. Maybe it’s just...better if he thinks I’m dead. I’ve already caused him enough pain” she said, glancing down. “I’ll turn. So I can see he grows up well. No more drama. No pain...and if there’s ever a right time, I’ll tell him the truth. But for now, just take me far away from here. Please.” 

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]   “We’re both at fault Elena,” he counters back, blue eyes meeting her own. “I should have considered other options before we packed up and moved, maybe found a better way to work around my schedule as well as be a better boyfriend to you. I also should have called our friends, had them come up for a weekend, maybe even got you a ticket to go see them. But you shouldn’t have shut me out. Out of everything….almost everything that has happened between us, that was the most painful part.” He takes a breath as the moment hangs in the air between them. Even now they can barely say the word miscarriage. Deal with the tragedy that has struck them blind. “For the same reason I’m still here even after cancer took mama away from me. Why I’m still here after my father left his savings to me to start his new life because he didn’t have anything else to come home to. His wife is dead and his son…well he could have done better right.” The bitterness is still fresh on his tongue after coming home to find his father packed up and gone with only a note and the access code to the money he would need to live out the rest of his junior and senior year with no living relatives. At least, not any that were stateside. Their connection is broken as she steps away from him, finds solace in the rays from the sun streaming in by her window. The perch that housed her when she spilled her heart out to her journal. “When have I ever given a fuck about disappointment? I was born one for fuck’s sake. Half the fucking town still thinks I am one no matter what I do a few states away. I’ve disappointed you. Every minute I spend breathing around you is a disappointment to Caroline. Your brother….the all of a sudden buff fucker would no doubt like to put me right next to my mother at the cemetery. Tyler will follow the pink heaven between Caroline’s legs so he hates me too. matt just wants it all to end and Bonnie’s the only thing keeping me away from said cemetery. So no Elena, disappointment isn’t new to me, especially not when I see it every damn day in the mirror.” His chest is heaving after his little tirade and he pinches his nose as he tries to calm down. “I came back to remind you that you’re not alone, that the fucking world isn’t crashing and burning even when you feel like it is. To remind you that Miranda and Grayson didn’t die for you to say enough is enough when life throws some fucking MAC trucks at you. I came back to tell you it’s time to get up, face the fucking day, and keep moving forward cause I won’t watch the second woman I love die and not actually try to make a difference in preventing it. I won’t watch you slowly kill yourself Elena, because if you’re going to, you might as well grab Liz’s gun and shoot me dead in my fucking chest. Go head, I’ll wait. I bet Caroline even knows where she hides it and will load it for you. I may not be able to save you myself with words and promises we both know we have no control over, but I for fucking sure am not going to let you drown in your own self-pity. I never have.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

“Stop, okay? Just stop! You think that I don’t want to keep moving forward? That I actually want to get up and feel that same hole in my heart I had when they did die? Because I don’t. I lost the one thing I wanted, besides you, and now I’m probably never going even to have another chance at that so no, Ryan. It’s not that fucking simple. You can go stay in your fancy loft in Manhattan and think that you can snap your fingers and all this crap will disappear but it doesn’t. You weren’t there then and you just got here now. You don’t know what the past few weeks have been like. You don’t even know what the past however many months you were gone were like because you were never there. I can’t ask you to turn the tables either, because you still wouldn’t understand what it’s like. Do you even know what a woman’s body goes through after something like this? I mean sure, the emotional trauma is bad enough but then there’s the physical shit that just really sucks. Bleeding fo--nevermind. It doesn’t matter. But what does matter is you coming here and telling me to get up and get over it. You shouldn’t guilt me with the things you’ve gone through to. So yeah, maybe I’m being selfish saying that but when the fuck have I ever been selfish? When? Name one fucking time and I’ll apologize for it all.” 

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  Typical Elena. He bites his cheek as she makes her statement very clear; she didn’t need him coming to tell her what she already knew and wasn’t ready to deal with right that moment. She’s lost weight since the last time he’s seen her, lost a lot of fucking sleep too. All these things they both know are the result of their ending and another bit of guilt builds up on top of the already overfilled pile. “When have I ever lectured you?” He holds a finger up as he thinks about it and shakes his head. “Spare the time you though tit was a good idea to get drunk at Bonnie’s birthday party and ended up almost hurling while we sang ‘Happy Birthday’?” Fucking Christ they’ve been through so much together. Puberty had been hell on both of them and they were the only two they could trust of the opposite sex when it came to those types of things. He follows her silently, obediently as she walks over to the bed and pretty much squashes anything he could say in regards to how she looks and how she needs to get better. “Trust me, I get it. Whenever Caroline can lower her standards to speak to me, she’s quick to remind me of how you’ve been dealing, that it’s my fault, that if it weren’t for me we wouldn’t be in this position. Any sane person can only take so much of Caroline’s voice before they wanna jump off the tallest building.” He sighs and scoots closer to her, a hand wrapping around her arm. “Hey…I’m not here to gang up on you, to be in your ass, nag you about what you need to do. No one can tell you what to do now Elena, only you can. My only hope is that you find your way back to the surface. Even if it means I can’t be there on the dock waiting for you.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

“It’s not your fault” Elena counters, refraining the eye roll intended for her best friend. Everything that happened had given Caroline every reason to hate Ryan again when the truth was, Elena couldn’t even blame him anymore. “I made the decision to leave, to get in that car. That’s why this happened. Everything else is on you, yes. But it’s not your fault I lost...” She goes silent, swallowing thickly as she looks over to the window where she sat with her journal in hand on days like this. Lately, the journal had been empty day after day. She had no muse to write a single thing these days...and it wasn’t as if anyone could blame her for it. She suddenly feels his hand curling around her arm and for a moment she wishes it was him pulling her into his embrace. She missed his warmth, his scent, his comfort. However, a dry, bitter laugh escapes her due to the way he used his words. “Yeah. You know, I’m beginning to think that that should have never happened the first time. I should have died the day they did. I mean, why else would whoever the hell is up there bring me such torture, such misery?” Getting up from the bed, the brunette steps towards the window with arms crossed over her chest. “I’m sorry you traveled all the way back to Mystic Falls for another disappointment but it’s hard to give a damn about what anyone thinks when you’ve got nothing else to lose.” 

[ryan-the-sinner]

Paradise Circus

[ryan-the-sinner]

[ℜ]  “How are you so sure of that fact? That perhaps there are other vampires like me? With the ability to create life just as easily as we are to take it.” He’s daring enough to meet her face to face, grip her arms and force her to do the same. “The only monster I see, is the one currently roasting in hell.” His head turns to Jackson’s barely recognizable corpse a few feet away from them. “I know fear Elena, I know that hatred of vampires. You….I watched my sister be murdered by them, know the fate my parents met before I could get home in time. And now here I am, the same fucking bloodline of the bastards that took my only happiness for me. How many years do you think I spent hating myself? Hunting every last one of them down until I was nauseated from their blood? Became the reason why people locked their doors as soon as the sun went down? How many years do you think I spent contemplating killing myself so then I could perhaps join my family again?” A moments pause as he steps back from her and hangs his head. “Then I meant Gina and everything changed. I had a purpose, someone to care for, others like us who’s other life was stolen from them but knew their sins wouldn’t allow them an easy pass to their families on the other side. So we make it better, do right now, rid the world of those who wish to see it burn.” Another deep sigh before he’s meeting her eyes again. “I may not know exactly where you’re coming from Elena, but best believe I’ve fucking been there.” 

[thecavemanswarriorprincess]

Elena knew that Ryan had had tough times over the years, even if he wasn’t always so open in speaking of them. It didn’t change or make her feel any more optimistic. This was her worst case scenario. She was alive, but she was dead. She would have to depend on blood to survive. Sure, she would be forever 18, but that wasn’t what she wanted. Unlike many her age, she wanted to grow up. She wanted the human experience. She can’t look away, the way he gripped her giving her no choice and the smell of Jackson’s blood much too enticing for her to even dare look in that direction. Tears boiled over, spilling down her cheeks. “So what? Turn? Give in just to go against everything that I believe in? To what? Make you happy? To give you company so you’re not as miserable as everyone believes you are?” It was harsh, but as upset as she was, she really didn’t have a filter to hold her back. It didn’t mean she wouldn’t regret it later.