you know, I'm glad I shared that comic I just reblogged again. I just got to it while scrolling through my blog unable to sleep and it suddenly made me think. I'm tired and the heat's been messing with my head but maybe this will be a helpful post idk
I've already mentioned how I've become so addicted to validation on the internet that I'm now much more sensitive than I want to be... The whole story with a random project of mine amassing a fully-fledged fandom, with all the aspects of one ranging from the most confusing drama to the most beautiful art, has certainly made me a different person than I was two years ago. I can't say whether I've gotten better or worse though. It's a mix of both. I've definitely learned some more things about the internet.
And one of the main things that's changed about me is I've become more afraid of what people on the internet can do. Doxxing, cancel culture, all that. There are people somewhere who think I'm evil for whatever reason. I shouldn't worry about it, things like that will happen when random people of all ages and mentalities are aware of you, but it's so weird. And overwhelming.
Knowing how easy it is to give a whole bunch of people an awful impression of myself without even realizing it kinda fucks with me. Even while writing posts like this one I have thoughts that maybe someone will somehow misinterpret them as me hating everyone or something. Again, a lot of the time that bad impression isn't my problem to solve, but like, god dammit this place is chaotic.
Still, despite all that, it's great to stay your true self and make whatever you want without worrying about upsetting some strangers.
It's just that, like all great things, it's also very difficult.
But I'm gonna keep trying.