I love you silly.

Life is always in beta.

[thechkncoop]

Is this for you or for me?

Is it possible for me to get Imposter Syndrome? I have some really bad days, but when the good days come, it feels almost guilty to enjoy them. Does that mean something is wrong? Are you still in there?

Maybe it was just a coincidence but yesterday I asked you to kick if everything was good in there, andI felt the tiniest kick on my right side. You’ll have to confirm or deny on this later. :)

Ugh, gramma gets Asian anxious when something is even slightly wrong and on top of everyone telling you how you think you’re going to feel, I sometimes overcompensate for that. Like the crazy cramps I’ve been having the past two days? Just you growing probably. But did I look up all the crazy possible things that it might be? yes, then I talked myself off the ledge.

tldr, I feel like I am going through all this anxiety alone sometimes. I definitely am not, but sometimes all I want to do is complain, and your dad definitely already gets that enough from me on a regular basis. haha.

Until then, 

Love Mom

[thechkncoop]

17 Weeks, 17 Things we already know.

Hello world, hello CJ. 

I write this to you in hopes that one day when you’re wondering what life was like before you, this will give you a glimpse of how cool mom and dad were. ARE.

ONE, we wanted you, I wanted you, very much so. So much in fact that technically you were at our wedding. I do apologize for the alcohol consumption and the sushi that was ingested while you were a clump of cells. 

We are starting year TWO of the pandemic, or the panoramic, or the Panda Express right now and it is also dad’s last day at his old job. He’s nervous, but this new job pays enough so that when you pop out, he’ll be able to give you whatever you need. He’s so stressed. But I remind him that you love him lots. I can feel it. 

We’re still in this two bedroom apartment that’s about THREE blocks away from one of dad’s favorite breweries, Begyle. I’m sure every time we drive by the area, dad will mention it to you. 

You will be the FOURTH cousin in the series so far. Matilda, Ingrid and Chloe are super excited to meet you. Especially Aunt Steffi, Matilda and Iggy’s mom. So far she’s sent us 2 large boxes filled with cute clothes and snacks. 

This was Dad and I’s FIFTH Valentine’s Day together. Even though everything was shut down, it was perfect. We slept in and ordered breakfast sandwiches from Biscuit Man down the street. Dad made the trek in the 2 feet of snow that had fallen the night before. We watched “To All The Boys I Loved: Always and Forever” which dad surprisingly enjoyed. We then decorated some cookies that Ate Yasmine got us and had lasagna from one of our favorite places, All Together Now. Never forget that if they wanted to, they would. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you know what that is like. 

There are SIX letters in your name, though while you were marinating in my belly we rarely used your full name. 

You have SEVEN aunts and uncles. 5 on dad’s side and 2 on mine. You’re named after your aunt and my aunt, and I’m guessing because you’re the same zodiac sign, you’ll be exactly like her. God help your dad. 

Our favorite Mexican restaurant is about EIGHT minutes away from the apartment. Far enough where dad would have to drive during these Chicago snowstorms but on a nice day we could walk. Dad and I used to get high and eat an entire burrito each. Then we’d sit on the couch and listen to music for hours. 

It was probably around NINE pm on a Monday when we took the pregnancy test the second time. We were leaving for our honeymoon that Thursday, which was Thanksgiving and I was worried I had caught COVID. Somehow the symptoms didn’t really line up. Dad jokingly says, what if you’re pregnant? You know dad has the worst jokes. 

You’ve been around maybe TEN  weeks when we found out you were gonna be coming into the world as a girl. I still think I have the voicemail that the doctor sent us. Since dad was not allowed to come to the doctor’s appointments with us because of COVID (pandemic), i made sure we were able to find out together. 

It was about ELEVEN degrees outside when we looked at our first potential home. Every time we looked at a house I imagined you running around it, growing up and creating memories that only you will get to exquisitely experience. Dad and I want you to have a better life than we did, dad especially. Just know that I vouched for you to have your own room but dad is convinced you’re fine sharing with your sibling.

It was about TWELVE weeks when I heard your heartbeat for the first time. Honestly, I wasn’t prepared for your little thumps to overwhelm me. Not that I didn’t know you existed, but at that point, you were working your little developed butt off to create bones and I couldn’t help but feel proud of you.

It’s about THIRTEEN steps from our bedroom to the bathroom. I think i counted one night when we had gotten up for the fourth time to pee in the middle of the night. Some nights when I can’t go back to sleep I think about what you’ll look like, will you have my black hair? Or your dad’s amazing gorgeous dark ginger hair?

You’ll probably learn of these when you’re about FOURTEEN because dad and I feel like that’s when you’ll be the angsy-est. ha. Just kidding. We hope we tell you we love you everyday enough that you’ll only hate us the minimal amount to get you through puberty. 

FIFTEEN was the number of chocolate muffins I’ve had during the first trimester of hanging out with you. Poor dad had to dump the remainder of the batch when I was over it. He was such a good sport though. 

There are about SIXTEEN boxes in our office that are wedding presents that we have no home for yet. We are looking at houses this week and hopefully we picked a good one for you. Dad wants to make sure you have enough space for you to grow and I’m just hoping its in a spot where you can run around safely.

It is the SEVENTEENth week that you’ve been around CJ and you’re literally what I think about all day and all night. Probably because I pee about the same number of times throughout the day. Dad and I talk about you all the time. What you’ll like, what you won’t like. How many times you’ve ordered around Uncle Jon. If you’ll like all the foods we like. Dad hopes you’ll enjoy all the movies he’s gonna make you watch with him. I just hope I don’t annoy you too much with Taylor Swift and video games. 

Until then, 

Love Mom

[ethanjamesgreen]

[taylornation]

And we’d do it over and over and over again if we could, #repTourChicago! Oh wait… we are 🎉 See you AGAIN tomorrow!!

[thechkncoop]

IVE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE ADULT LIFE FOR TODAY. 

[prospects]

[thechkncoop]

Notre Damn Daniel!

The thing about commencement speakers is that no one remembers them. 

Last weekend Notre Dame hosted commencement speaker Mike Pence to ‘inspire’ the graduates of 2017. 

While I stand by this as a marketing media decision instead of an honest to god thought out process as why a school in Indiana, who hates Pence would want to give him a honorary doctorate in Law of all things, it happened and it worked. 

I had to Google how to spell Notre Dame.

Then came the articles and the videos. 

SNOWFLAKES.

DISRESPECTFUL CHILDREN.

you threw away your graduation.. something you earned through years of hard work.. SMH

The first thing I noticed was that almost all of the graduates walking out were wearing ropes, ropes of first generation, minority and honor students. Masters degrees, Doctoral degrees. 

These students worked their asses off to get where they are, this is THEIR ceremony. 

Their diploma was already awarded, so lets cut that shit with “omg they shouldn’t get their degrees” sit down, they already have them. 

BUT IF THEY WERE MATURE THEY WOULD BE RESPECTFUL.

BUT IF MIKE PENCE WAS MATURE HE WOULND’T THERAPY SHOCK GAY PEOPLE.

“They will be no name unemployable people” Seems like you’re projecting, since you build your basis around what you know. 

Academic professors and other protesters were outside of the stadium supporting these graduates as they PEACEFULLY walked out. 

Even the valedictorian took metaphorical shots at Pence. No one was mad at him. 

But honestly, you’re mad because they walked out? Seems a little sensitive to me? Maybe they all had to go to the bathroom? Maybe the cafeteria was serving last call leftovers and all those people had already packed out their mini fridges already? Seems like you’re under the assumption that Pence has these divisive ideologies that people might not agree with and so because they are walking out YOU assume that its because it hurts your feelings? 

Yea, you’re right, Pence fucked over Indiana hard. And also America hard. Here are some articles to prove it. 

http://www.indystar.com/story/opinion/columnists/matthew-tully/2016/07/14/tully-dear-america-mike-pence/87093704/ 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2016/07/15/how-mike-pence-tried-to-undermine-the-will-of-indianas-voters/?utm_term=.53a58ddc11ea

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/features/the-radical-crusade-of-mike-pence-w462223

https://mic.com/articles/177641/4-times-mike-pences-stories-havent-added-up#.Bo47ui5L1

So including that and being booed at a baseball game, research shows that Indiana is NOT A FAN.

So while these graduates took their time to get their degrees and probably will work for the liberal social media platforms you choose to push your conservative agendas through, I’d really like for you guys to put down your blackberries and figure it out.

Because protesting at Starbucks by harassing the baristas or “boycotting” Hamilton or Netflix for having a movie that you don’t agree with makes it seem like you guys aren’t doing your homework.  

Your actions are just as surface level as those graduates who are silently walking out of their graduation. 

And if you want to get really fucked up, you should probably just leave Facebook and all those social media platforms because these brands pioneered progressive social equality with their “snowflakes” and their “social justice” 

So choose wisely boycott happy conservatives, because these platforms are the only thing giving you a voice. 

[thechkncoop]

Class of 2017

Let’s be real, there is nothing remotely unique or exemplary about my journey as a graduate student. So, knowing full well I will not be giving my commencement speech next week, here is my own commencement speech for my graduating class of 2017. Enjoy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ya’ll. Ya’ll. Look at us. WE OUT HERE. 

I literally turned in my last project yesterday. Life comes at you fast. So here we are, sitting here, in the most time conflicting concert you’ve ever had to endure. Two hours of celebration, praise, and ceremony, and its not even Sunday. 

For those of you who don’t know me, Sup, I’m Kim, and I’m about to walk across this stage for the second time, but this time for my Masters in Integrated Marketing Communications. By the look on most of your faces, you have no idea what that means, I see you dad. Think Peggy, but like half from Mad Men and half from Hamilton. Now imagine Asian. Add a splash of Mulan and some simple syrup and a maraschino cherry and you got yourself a nice stiff drink because school was hard.

But I’m not gonna go into my struggle as a first generation, low income, minority, Asian woman because honestly, who hasn’t heard that one before? Speeches are meant to inspire and connect generations who currently are divided. Not saying a speech can change the world, but it can. 

Today, the world moves faster than the 11:59 deadline on Blackboard. And you don’t know it, but as you were learning in your classroom and labs, you learned how to fit in everything else.. You learned all those resume buzzwords without even knowing it. Being organized, because the sorority sisterhood retreat was not going to organize itself. Time-oriented, because as you’re typing up that last page of your Marketing paper in a sparkly black dress, your Uber pool arrives. And driven, because no matter how much your professor tells you you can’t get it done the night before, YOU HAVE PREVAILED AT LEAST ONCE. Or you know, you wouldn’t be sitting here. 

And finally, you’re qualified. You’re qualified for the job you always dreamed of having. Not that 5 year old me dreamed of doing hours of market and consumer research to solve a brand problem using an aggressive social media marketing campaign, BUT I know I did want to do something I love. You’re qualified because you went to school and you did the thing that validates you to the rest of society; I spent a lot of money for my knowledge so hire me. So don’t be intimidated by the jobs that are supposedly entry level but require 5-8 years of field experience, don’t feel like you’re not adulting right because you want to take a year off and travel the the world, and don’t ever feel like less of a person because someone tells you, you’re not the right candidate for our company right now. Because let me tell you, besides being the biggest pile of bullshit lie I’ve ever heard, they don’t know you, you know you and you know what you can do. 

I am confident that every individual dressed like me, crazy we all came to the party wearing the same thing, has the capability of creating a positive impact on the world. No matter how big or how small, there are some people who don’t get to make one at all. And because a graduation speech is never complete without a quote, I pull from writer and teacher, Susan Sontag who says, “it’s hard not to be afraid. Be less afraid” And that’s exactly what I’ll do.

Thank you for everything.

Congratulations class of 2017 :) 

[thechkncoop]

What Can Be Done in 100 Days

Plant a vegetable garden

Denounce Racism 

Lose 5 pounds 

Start a book club

Feed the elderly and the Veterans with our Meals on Wheels Program

Plan and Go on a Road Trip

Feng Shui your house

Watch the whole LOTR series. 

Make Your Own Soap

Get a New Job

Provide more than 1.3 Million women and men with sexual and reproductive healthcare

Power watch all 10 seasons of Friends 

Learn how to cut hair

Prevent a Government Shutdown

Get High

Start a Diet

Learn how to Cook

Go to a National Park

meditate

Leave the EPA alone

Go to a drag show

Build a birdhouse

Don’t build a Wall

Color

Spend more time in briefings and less time on Twitter

Paint each nail a different color

Catch up on the discography of One Direction

Reinstate the Syrian Refugee Program. (Or else stop acting like you give two shits about the people there) *eye roll*

Learn how to make ceramic mugs

Go to the Zoo

Start a new hobby

Get a significant other

Believe climate change is a thing

Walk by the lake 

Read the whole Harry Potter series

4/23/17

[thechkncoop]

“Works Well With Others”

As I start thinking about graduation and the dooming future that is still unemployment, I contemplate phrases that I could embellish my resume with. 

Yes, I am organized, I’m a generally enthusiastic and driven person (what kind of person says, you know? I don’t own a car so driven wouldn’t be the first word) so I know that none of these buzzwords set me apart from other candidates who also enthusiastic and driven. 

There is one phrase that I feel should seek out a more elaborate answer, “do you work well with others?”

Now, outright you can say yes, why I am acclimated to society in such a way where I don’t feel like retracting from the general population when a new fad or trend emerges. Or, why yes, I did participate in the Harry Potter puppet pals sing a long during my four hour line at the AMC in 2011. And yes that was Deathly Hallows part 2.  

But what we should, as professionals and as normal people of the world examine if while interacting with others, they treat other people in different positions equal, superior or inferior than others in a customer service setting.

Take for example, IT techs, they get a lot of shit for people who claim they know enough about their computers to run them consistently. And yes, the term, turn it off and turn it back on again rings clear in my head when I’m silently cursing out a jammed printer or frozen screen. ( its not that I put my laptop in the freezer again its because I’m sure its the porn, JK, not the porn but probably the outdated Microsoft office I’m using, but it was fun to watch you look uncomfortable for a second)

Don’t get me wrong, I see loads of people treat the customer service industry so well I almost want to hug them with anime tears running down my cheeks. But there are those people who treat servers, baristas, help desk and so many others with such superiority I want to shake them until their teeth fall out and then take their teeth and shove them in their eyeballs and then take their eyeballs and shove them back into their mouth. It’s my version of being double stuffed.

The worst is when I serve a group of business people and they are the rudest they can possibly be and then to find out they pay with a company card and a slack 10% tip. Go fuck yourself, I’m not remaking your latte and you can find the bathroom on your own. 

And I can hear you now, you naysayers, that’s your job and you chose to work there and this is what I say to you. No one comes into your job and shits on your desk do they? And if they do do you clean it up because its YOUR job to keep the workspace environment clean and pleasant? But Kim, I didn’t shit on my desk, you did. Yes Carol, but providing a clean workspace is, so get to scrubbing Carol. And you know what Carol, just because i do it and just because i don’t like it doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful, it just means I’m pointing out other peoples stupidity. 

Bottom line, I get the opportunity to serve and I enjoy it. I get guests all over the world who although don’t tip well, treat me as if they are stepping into my home and eating my food and then giving me tips on it. These people are allowed to put down on their resumes, “works well with others”. I walk away paying for their meal but you know what? At least they can communicate with others on a kind level. 

To the others, the one who screams at the server because her salad plate was not at temperature for her lettuce or that the steak you ordered well done is dry, I tell you, You’d better hope I never meet your boss or mother because guess what, its judgement day for you. (and this is to say assuming that your mom or boss is not a bag of dicks) And to the companies I’ve seen treat my coworkers with what my mother can call embarrassing manners, you bet your ass I won’t be applying for your company, because it speaks volumes for how your company treats others. 

(OMG Kim you’re such a millennial, its not about you) Well you’re telling me I should work for a company who treats people like shit doesn’t say a lot about you either 

If I had my way, I’d have every single person work 6 months in a service industry. It would just be so easy to take an applicant out to lunch and see how they treat the wait staff, because don’t you forget, when you’re eating your meal, the server can hear everything. 

4/18/2017

[thechkncoop]

When Your Boyfriend Takes You to a Concert of a Band You’ve Never Heard Before. -Part 2

Strobe lights, a couple flashes and out walks out the most badass looking woman in a lace corset top with a guitarist. They jump into the first song. 

I didn’t know it. People around me start swaying like they consumed an edible 45 minutes ago. Like the true conformist I swayed along with the beat. That was the good thing about this band, since it was still under the pop genre, the same under bass beat allowed me to pretend that I knew what the hell I was doing.

The second song comes one, its familiar. I think I’ve heard it on a UPS commercial before. Later, being the researcher I am, I found out their music was used on the CW’s hit show, “Gossip Girl” so I’m basically like, dope. People are slowly getting more intense crowd wise. 

I look to my left. the foursome I described earlier is stoic. Not even the hurricane gusts of God could knock them over, much less ruin the weird Gorrilaz haircut he was sporting. 

I turned back to the band. She was working the crowd like a cheerleader with a t-shirt gun. I wondered how many calories she must burn running back and forth on the stage like that. 

Suddenly, what seemed like their . ‘chart-topper’ song came on and I discovered how mosh pits begin. The strobe light seemed to continually focus on a group of individuals that decided their bodies where just empty vessels that could also be beach balls. 

I don’t know if i have a desire to participate in a mosh pit but I inched slowly away from the 5 potential ways to get stupidly hurt and refocused on the band who seemed to ignore that the whole situation was happening. 

Just as the guy with the Cubs shirt started swaying into my personal space, the mosh pit situation was diffused. I, gaining a sense of confidence, strong armed Cub’s shirt guy who was swaying harder than the House of Representatives. 

Alas it was 10:30, weekday curfew for most. 

The lights came back on and momentarily everyone looked like they didn’t know where they were. 

“Whatcha think?” My boyfriend asked. 

“I don’t..... hate it?” I questioned, only because I spent half the concert looking at everyone else enjoy their time instead of actually listening to the music. 

To be completely honest I went home and saved one of their songs on my Spotify playlist, but not like everyday listening, but like I’m cleaning the house, this beat will cheer me on as I clean the grout, beat. 

But alas, this one song is just a chapter in my “cleaning the house like selena gomez in that dancing movie” playlist. 

4/15/2017

[thechkncoop]

When Your Boyfriend Takes You To A Band You’ve Never Heard Of Before- Part 1

It’s not going to surprise you that I am in no way hip or edgy among the music world. I get off to Taylor Swift and old One Direction like a 14 year old in a 26 year old body. Parents waiting in lines at these concerts with their children often mistake me for an overpaid nanny.

BF: Wanna go to a concert?

Me: Sure

Now, it occurs to me now that I didn’t ask what kind of music or who we were going to see. It could have been gophers humping each other to the easy strumming of a old man playing a harp, and I would have been there like, “no yep, this is what I expected” because those were Chris’ kind of music tastes.

The band was called Sleigh Bells, and it took me 20 minutes to get the line, “ITS A LOVELY WEATHER FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOU” out of my head and replace it with what the band, Sleigh Bells call, Noise-Pop.

To the untrained ear, Noise-Pop seems like a double negative. Or positive?

One thing about this 18+ concert thats different from an all ages concert is that people are more chill when it comes to crowds. It might be the fan base or the sheer simplicity that we were all pretending to be adults at a Tuesday night concert at the Metro, but still.

By the time we got there the opening act was already midway though his set. Tunde Olaniran was his name. And love and flowy garments were his thing. He had two backup dancers that I aspire to be this Halloween. Each moved with a ballet like grace one song, and then busted out a Beyonce act 30 seconds later. Not saying Beyonce doesn’t have ballet moves, but I’m still looking for a ballet rendition of Formation.

Tunde’s music was the kind of stuff that if you were to drive up to a house with an old man in a floral shirt and boat shoes on, you’d hear the crackling of Tunde’s music playing from the old man’s iPhone in his pocket. That’s all I could think of.

About four songs later, Tunde was off. Then the classic, ‘why-did-you-flash-a-light-in-my-eyes-you-ruined-the-mood’ gesture between sets.

Looking around, the crowd was what I can classify as if hipsters got mad and then robbed a 50′s punk wardrobe. Throw a few youths that might have thought this was a Simple Plan reunion and you’ve got the exact feel of what I was vibin’ at the time.

It was a slightly packed floor, not enough to push or feel borderline perverted. And if you’re a slightly obnoxious people watcher like I, I immediately zoned into the double-datey-Forever 21-I’m-hardcore group to the left of me. Two girls with two boys standing right behind them. The girls looked either to be a young 28 or an old 17. Both also looked bored AF. The males stood close enough where you’d be able to feel their happiness or vegetable garden packed in their suede track pants. One had a smirk on their face, possibly the one friend who actually enjoyed the band and convinced the rest of his posse to come to a Thursday night show. The other one just looked slightly amused to be out past 9pm on a weeknight.

Lets not forget me, who was conflicted and so dressed in the ‘I don’t care what people think I look like’ jeans and a hoodie because it was cold outside and I’m not going to be lame and hold my jacket on my arm like a doting husband whose wife spends too much time in the bathroom. Also I had a boyfriend so my ego was definitely in check.

Suddenly the lights are cut and what seemed like a small Uhaul of dry ice was emptied onto the stage.

Part 2 soon :) 

4/12/17

[dsxsbx]

[thechkncoop]

Mile High.

Part 2

March 12th cont. 

If you know me, you know I judge people by the cars they drive. Don’t worry, I even talk shit to Chris who downright has a Subaru dad car complete with extra trunk space for all dad things he can possibly dad with. So if you’re driving in a  large city in a Hummer or Giant douche truck I will probably judge you and you probably won’t care. See? No harm, no foul.  

The drive into Texas and beyond, 80% of the vehicles on the road were big ass trucks. Our little 4 cylinder Toyota was cast in a truck shadow probably half the time we were on the road. Yes, I get why they’re more necessary out there than in Chicago, but spinning wheels on a rusted Chevy don’t pull the eyes away from the dead animal dangling from your rearview mirror. 

Since we dropped off the car right outside of Phoenix we had to call an Uber to get to the airport.

6 minutes later a Dodge Ram 1500 pulls up. What a way to go out. 

Here’s one for reference. I guess everything is bigger down there. 

Fun fact- the Dodge Ram 1500 has a spacious back seat with room to lounge. According to Chris its not even the most obnoxious type of truck. 

Airports are one of my favorite places in the entire world. It gives me the security of knowing that 99% of these people don’t have bombs and sharp objects, but also big enough windows to see outside to the big scary world we live in. 

Reaching our gate with 30 minutes to spare, Chris briefly naps like a child in a stroller. Just like out of a movie, 6 extra TSA agents pull up to our gate out of no where and start walking up and down the aisles. A female TSA agent eyes me up and down and smiles and I resist every bone in my body to make a Trump joke. 

A makeshift pat down area was erected, and upon boarding we had to show our ID’s and boarding passes again. Basically it looked like if you stood a menu at the dinner table when you want your parents to know that they were embarrassing you at the Olive Garden. 

Ah, the America we live in. 

Flying into Denver gave us quite a view. 

However when we deplaned (do you deplane? Or just get off the plane?) and i headed down the slightly steep ramp, my legs felt like jello. 

LOL i was sore from the hike the day before. 

Every step felt like a leprechaun was tap dancing on my quads. But not a normal leprechaun, more of a drunk ambitious one that is trying to impress the second most hottest lady leprechaun in the bar. 

If that didn’t help, our friends that were showing us around for the day (OH HEY CHRIS AND NICOLE!) loved the slow torture of me and decided to park at the BOTTOM of the Red Rock Amphitheater and told me that, “climbing to the top is part of the experience” 

LOL MKAY LIAR. 

As we climbed steadily up I passed the rows of spots that we could have parked at. When we got to the top I was sure my left lung gave up and was like, “yeah I’m taking my 15, you got this right?” 

The top was pretty cool though. 

Going back down I was a drunk baby deer. My quads burned every step down I took, and Chris (both Chrises) couldn’t do anything but laugh at my demise. 

By 8:30 PM we were exhausted, we had been up close to 20 hours and had to be up at 4:30 to catch our flight home to Chicago.

Chris: hey what if we get delayed?

“Why would we?” 

Chris: Says here its supposed to snow up to 4 inches tomorrow morning

“Well Chicago what the fuck”

Spoiler, we made it home on time. 

Note: Last post about the road trip tomorrow!

[thechkncoop]

Buck You Man.

So this day will be in two parts, mostly because it felt like a long fucking day for us. 

Part 1

March 12th

I had a weird goal during this road trip; see the stars at night. Up until this night we had fallen asleep before 10pm, due to exhaustion and the fact we knew we had to get up early the next day.

But today we had to fly out of AZ at 8 AM.

AND. We had a 3 1/2 hour drive to Phoenix where we had to drop the car off. 

So as my last attempt to see the stars, we set our alarms for 1:30 AM so we could drive into the Grand Canyon and see the stars overlooking the giant sized crater in the ground. 

Driving in pitch black was a task. Since there were no street lights or anything around you but trees, we only had the high beams of our little Toyota to guide us through the road. 

Also, the day before, we casually walked by some elk and goats who were just feeding on the foliage outside some cabins so we knew that there was a chance that they would be roaming around. 

We pulled into the nearly empty parking lot, which had a couple of vehicles and a parked RV and took a couple flash lights with us. 

Since we had walked the same path the day before we knew what path we had to take to get to Mather Point. AKA the most visited point during the day by tourists. But at night, completely empty. 

Just to remind you guys, I am a total city girl. Ain’t ever seen no animals taller than my shin roaming freely that wasn’t a petting zoo. 

The moon was also bright so we couldn’t see many stars anyways. But I wasn’t disappointed as the view of the Grand Canyon at night is just as breathtaking. 

It was also bright enough where my eyes had a hard time adjusting to the darkness around the path. Trees and shrubs lined the path and casted shadows along our route. 

Walking down the path I was eerily confident. Until I hear a crunch and turned to my right. 

About five feet away were three female elk, munching on a tree. 

“holy-”

Chris: Just keep walking Kim. 

“But the-”

Chris: They won’t hurt you. 

Another twenty feet in the near distance we saw it, about an 8 foot tall male elk, eating away at another tree. 

“Chris, what the fuck” 

Chris: Just walk this way.

He pulls me closer to him and we head out to the outlook of the Grand Canyon. 

We get out to Mather Point and attempt to shoot some short and long exposure pictures. Unfortunately, the moon was too bright for my amateur camera skills. We hung out around there for ten minutes, five of them taking pictures and another five just being grossly romantic because, duh, grand canyon. 

Chris: You ready to head out?

We both turned and stopped in our tracks. 

The male elk had followed us out and was standing right on the path out. 

And he was staring right at us. 

If I were to guess it would probably be like 10 feet away. 

Mind you in the daytime this probably wouldn’t have been as scary but with the darkness casting shadows everywhere, it made it seem out of a terrible horror movie. 

Here’s a picture in the daytime for reference. Now imagine it being pitch black and about 10 feet in front of you.

Chris quickly saw the side path and pulled me away from the elk, we what I can confidently say, briskly walked away from the elk as we heard it knocking its antlers into some trees and making a loud guttural sound repeatedly. 

Chris: I think we walked right in the middle of his herd. So he just wanted to make sure we weren’t challenging him.

“Make sense, but DID YOU SEE HOW BIG HE WAS?”

We took the path led us about a half a mile away from our car, and surrounded us with more trees and dark paths. I was clutching my little flashlight as a security blanket in the coming minutes. 

Chris kept looking behind us to see if the male elk had followed. It had not. 

“Chris, not gonna lie, I’m pretty scared”

Chris: You’ll be fine, don’t worry, I’ll protect you

“LOL, OKAY” 

Chris: What? You don’t think I can protect you?

“Chris you can’t just video game your way out of this” 

Chris: WHATS THATS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

“That means if we get attacked we’ll probably die”

Chris: You’re right, I’d use your body to shield mine

“WHAT”

Chris: KIDDING. 

We finally reached our car about 20 minutes later. 

“Let’s get the FUCK out of here”

Chris: You’ve had enough of the Grand Canyon?

“I’ve had enough of nature, bring on the pollution. 

We sped out of there and headed to the Phoenix airport. 

Part 2 next! 

Sources:

http://mapio.net/pic/p-44315400/ 

[thechkncoop]

Ain’t It Grand?

March 11th.

Beware, this is a somewhat long post and I am telling you that you DO NOT have to read past this if you DO NOT want to hear any of my bullshit first world problems.   

Up until now, the whole road trip to me has been such a blur. Writing it down seemed underwhelming and the pictures just seemed to only get you so far before you start to smell the cow piss on the long stretches on road in Texas for yourself. Honestly, it’s been pretty difficult to recount a day when you just want to crawl into bed and saw logs.

I’m sure this gets repeated all the time but the Grand Canyon was IT for me. I was that excited little girl eyeing her Happy Meal as she scarfed the last of her chicken nugget down so she could play with her 50 cent vaguely ethnic Barbie toy.

We woke up around 6:30 A.M and Chris was literally bouncing on the bed, ready for this hike.

Mind you, Chris hikes a LOT more than I do.

There were animals EVERYWHERE as we meandered around the roads and up the side of the canyon. The sun was barely peeking its head over the north rim when we got on the bus that would be taking us to our trail.

Fun fact, a unit of measurement that many of the drivers used to describe the length and width of the Grand Canyon was using the term ‘as the raven flies’ which basically meant the straight line that a raven could fly going from one point to another. I felt very Game of Thrones saying that type of shit all day.

Chris did all the research about what trails there were and how many people use them daily. He picked Hermit’s trail, the farthest and least traveled trail because of the ‘ambiance and experience’ of the canyon would be the most legit.

 Chris informed me that the hike was 2.5 miles long and should only take about 4 hours to complete. That included stopping for lunch when we got out there and then the hike back. The actual whole trail would take 7 hours one way so we decided that we would just reach as far as we could. 

 What Chris didn’t tell me was that it was 2.5 miles OUT and 2.5 miles BACK. Maybe he did tell me and I wasn’t listening, but ANYWAYS.

The red line is where we hiked to Santa Maria Spring via the Grand Canyon Adventures website. Not the whole thing, I’m not that CRAZY... yet. 

I don’t have a history of being super adventurous. Growing up it was really engrained in me  why my mom would say to us when we went to zoos and museums. “if you lean over and reached over too far you will fall and die” and MAN did that apply to my fear of other things that didn’t involve a well-marked path or barrier. 

I was shit faced terrified. 

The path going down was steep and was not well maintained.  (I learned that later in the day.) You basically had a general direction of where you were going and then it was your choice to climb over rocks or other things in your way. Also, you basically were six inches away from falling to your death at any moment.

We reached the Santa Maria Spring just about 11am. That was the turnaround point for us.  

It basically is a tiny little rest post where they had benches under a roof so that you could take a break and nourish yourself. (Man, that sounds weird but we’re going to go with it)

 In this little post, there was a metal box that had three books filled with hikers who made it to that point. People from all over the world who had come to hike the Grand Canyon.

 Wouldn’t you like to know what I wrote?

*wink*

 The sun was at its highest when we decided to start our hike back up. I didn’t want to admit to Chris that I was already exhausted from the trip down. We had descended just under 2000 feet below the rim and going back up elevation was going to be fucking hard.

A handy elevation graph for reference of the trail we were on. 

I ran out of breath in the first 10 minutes. If you ever felt so unfit in your entire life, it was exactly how I was feeling, complete with self-deprecation thoughts too. People who had camped overnight with 50 pound backpacks were strolling past me as I made Chris take another break with me underneath a little bush.

Psychologically it was rough. In addition to feeling my heart work harder than it probably ever has in its entire life, I was mentally bringing myself down. The sun was pounding on my back and the camelback I was carrying felt like it had a million bricks in it. In reality, it had two water bottles worth of water in it.

At one point Chris snapped a picture of us resting for probably the third time.

I thought of all the ways that I would want to give up, but at the beginning of the trail a huge sign warned us that “going down is optional, going up is mandatory, don’t become a statistic”. Which meant to me that many of a hiker had attempted to be a badass and then lost their shit halfway.

I AM NOT A SHIT LOSER. I WILL NOT BE A STATISTIC. 

Of the many breaks we took, I at LEAST got a good view. 

It took us much longer to get back up obviously, with me panting like a chronic smoker the whole time.

Chris was the best and the worst at the same time. The quick elevation climb didn’t seem to outwardly affect him and he was extremely patient with me every time I had to stop and control my breathing. He encouraged me when I was so close to giving up and then gave me space when I was getting those bouts of ‘determined woman power” before almost collapsing into a rock. I also don’t think I’ve ever been more in love with him and hated him in the same time than I had in those three hours it took us to get back up. Every time I asked how much farther we had to go, he never had the heart to tell me that it was going to be 10 zig zags to the top when I asked if there were only going to be 2 more zigs before it was over. (Zig zags- the trails going up were so steep they made a zigzag into the canyon) 

It was 3 o’clock when we made it back to the top. I did not feel accomplished or proud of myself at all. I was sweating and panting and had put the last of my energy into the last 100 meters of the hike, giving the ol’ saying ‘go hard or go home’ a run for its money.

I told Chris i needed proof. So I made him snap this pic. 

We got back on the bus and almost had to stand instead of sit because it was so crowded with tourists at that point. I was furious for about five minutes. Who WERE these people that just took the bus from spot to spot taking their pictures so leisurely that they deserved to sit more than me? I felt so fucking entitled to sit that for a good thirty seconds I was giving everyone around me the stink eye as we took the last seats near the rear. But obviously that wore away and the sense of, “Holy shit i am so out of shape” emerged as i crumpled next to Chris who was clearly having a natural adrenaline rush from the hike. 

We stopped back into the main part of the park to get one last look of the canyon and saw a giant sign giving details about all the trails. I went up to read it while Chris was in the bathroom and when I reached the Hermit’s Trail description I was fuming. 

It was a grade of all the trails ranking from easiest to hardest to hike.

The nicer of the signs along the trail that I somehow forgot to read. 

Chris came up behind me and I turned my heel to him. 

“DID YOU READ THIS?! DID YOU KNOW?”

Chris, as all men reacted when spooked, just had wide eyes waiting for me to continue. 

I read the description to him, “ Extremely difficult. Unmaintained steep trail requires caution. Rocky and strenuous.  For experienced desert hikers ONLY. DID YOU KNOW THAT?” 

Chris: “Yeah, so I read that on the bus and thought I was going to tell you, but then decided not to”

Me: ........

Chris: BUT DID YOU DIE? 

He eyed me, wondering if the joke had gone too far. 

Me: Chris! I felt so dumb not being able to hike it while everyone else was passing us up not knowing that they’ve hiked LOADS more than I have!”

Chris: But you did it...

Me: *blank stare*

Chris: Kim, it doesn’t matter, you did it anyways. The difficulty is irrelevant now. 

Goddamnit, he was right. He knew me well enough that knowing how hard it was, I would have psyched myself out of ever doing it in the first place. 

Because I did that hike, I got to see a view that very few visitors ever get to see below the rim. Because I did that hike, my first experience was so much more than just a snapshot that a million other people can just see from pictures. 

Because I did that hike, I got to see one of the most breathtaking views with my best friend. 

Later I found out that only about 2% or less of the total of visitors year round actually visit below the rim, which they consider when you hike an elevation more than 1000 feet. (I did 1,800, not that anyone is counting)

Leaving the Grand Canyon I realized I’d still become a statistic, but in this case, I didn’t mind. :) 

Sources

https://www.dothecanyon.com/grand-canyon-hiking-trails/hermit-trail/   https://www.nps.gov/grca/planyourvisit/upload/hermittrail.pdf  https://www.quora.com/What-percentage-of-Grand-Canyon-National-Park-visitors-actually-hike-in-the-park-versus-just-driving-to-the-lookout-and-leaving

[stability]

[thechkncoop]

SO MUCH NATURE SO LITTLE TIME

March 10th

Leaving Gallup to the Petrified Forest only took about an hour and a half.

Driving through Highway 40 we saw about 100 billboards advertising Indian City and the Navajo tribe.

Chris: Man I wonder if they have as many people as they do billboards.

The Petrified forest is definitely a driving activity. You go to a spot, take a picture, learn some cool things and then drive to the next scenic outlook. There were a few trails but none over 1 mile. 

Excuse my poor taste in attire, it was 34 degrees one minute and then 60. The dessert is a strange place. 

Chris: Oh man something must have scared those trees cause they look petrified.

*eye roll*

This is the painted dessert. It was large. 

We saw about 80% of the park and made sandwiches and had a picnic before taking off to Flagstaff. 

The view was otherwise flat dessert. Until I saw this.

Now children, as little girl who has never seen mountains I leapt ten feet out of my chair and gasped, “CHRIS MOUNTAIN!”

I googled it later, it was Arizona’s highest peak, Humphrey’s Peak.

Chris: “For a second I wanted a Coors, but then that moment passed”

About an hour and a half later we were climbing altitude and into Kaibab National Park, which is right outside of the Grand Canyon. 

If I ever had a moment where I’d want to remember for the rest of my life, it would be the first time I’ve ever seen this….

Just imagine the biggest thing you’ve ever seen, and multiply it by ten. And then times it by 100. That’s how big it is. 

Words cannot even explain my overwhelming emotion seeing this. 

This is me, being overwhelmed. 

See? I haven’t killed him yet. 

We are going to hike part of this tomorrow. And I can’t wait.