Breathe.

[theclassyandfabulous]

I wish this wasn't happening during finals week.

I just need to get an A on this final so I can get credit for this class and pursue my double major.

I'm really stressing out over it, but I'm also stressing out emotionally.

And it just doesn't help to have this emotional burden right now. It really doesn't.

And sighs

I just need to be alone, but

but it's hard because I feel like my friends are worried and

mmmm

I dunno what to do

I don't want to think

I just want to sleep.

[positivedoodles]

[theclassyandfabulous]

don't you just love that feeling of "wow I can't breathe because I'm so bogged down by the emotional/mental weight I feel in my chest"?

because I sure fucking don't

[a-recovered-life]

[darynberry-deactivated20170114]

[the-taintedtruth]

There’s a difference between somebody who wants you and somebody who would do anything to keep you. Remember that.

(via bl-ossomed)

[alonedepress]

Untitled en We Heart It.

[bloodydino-deactivated20200407]

[alonedepress]

Tumblr en We Heart It.

[alonedepress]

x en We Heart It.

[alonedepress]

I dont think i can live much longer . en We Heart It.

[alonedepress]

. en We Heart It.

[bloodblondie-deactivated2017010]

…….. on We Heart It. bleedforme

[itsconsumingme-deactivated20210]

I’m sorry I bleed 

[scntrx-deactivated20191108]

[theclassyandfabulous]

today is the first time in a while that I just straight up want to kill myself

I had actually envisioned myself with my pocket knife to my head earlier and I slowly pressed it into my skull until blood came out.

the thought was so enticing I almost actually got out of bed to do it

it's too bad that I couldn't get myself out of bed

yesterday, I almost walked all the way to brooklyn bridge last night. I got as far as china town before turning back because my ears were really cold and I was getting a headache.

today I also left class early and cried in the bathroom for the rest of the time.

I shut down my facebook and made a new tumblr account because I needed to stop talking to my friends for a while

I don't deserve them and they don't need to see me like this. it's probably unfair that I didn't say anything to them and I won't respond to their messages, and I'm having my roommate do the same.

but I just need them to forget about me for a while.

I just want to forget about myself. I just hate this thing inside of me that I can't stop and it's days like recently when I just physically feel it clinging it to my brain.

I just want to pluck it out and watch all these thoughts dissipate.

something someone said to me the other day made me realize how alone I really am

it's been a year since someone tried to hug me

I've hugged other people, but no one has tried to hug me. see the difference?

no one ever asks if I want or need a hug

no one ever offers one

no one ever tries

and I just really really need one. so fucking badly.

I can't wait to go home because I know I'll finally get that - from the same person that gave me a hug a year ago.

I'm also scared to go home because I don't know what'll happen when I'm with my parents. 

despite the past two days, I've made a lot of mental/emotional progress in general. Even now, I find myself picking myself up a lot quicker than before. Yes, I've had a suicidal thought this morning, but it was quick and passing unlike before.

I'm still an incredible mess and can't stand myself, but I'm controlling things a lot better.

maybe that's why I delete my facebook; because sometimes it feels like that's the only thing I have control over

but anyway, I'm scared. I yearn to go home for so many reasons, but I'm also scared for so many others. I just don't want it to be like last winter. I want things to be better, to be okay.

today is the twelfth. yesterday the eleventh of December 2014. 

[swaginageorge]