The Comedy Hub

Your Daily Dose of Original Humor from @aleksvee

[thecomedyhub]

Serious question: Was John Locke the original J Lo?

[thecomedyhub]

Dude asking the in-laws for her hand in marriage.

Dude: What's your return policy?

[thecomedyhub]

As soon as someone starts coughing, it's like a chain reaction.

[thecomedyhub]

When a liquid of unknown origin falls on your face, consider yourself blessed by NYC.

[thecomedyhub]

When you live in NYC, your default expression is "who goes there"

[thecomedyhub]

Scientists have found evidence of a 'lake' on Mars. This is almost enough to make me move, but I fear my commute would be a bit problematic.

[thecomedyhub]

Whenever a new movie comes out:

Me: My, what special effects you have.

Movie: The better to empty your wallet with, my dear.

[thecomedyhub]

Dog gets suspicious when owner promises to teach it "one weird trick".

[thecomedyhub]

Me when something goes wrong: asfhskhgldk

Me: That escalated quickly.

[thecomedyhub]

I bet Punxsutawney Phil's new year's resolution was to get a "do not disturb" sign.

[thecomedyhub]

Other people: Swipe right for date

Me: Swipes up for recipe

[thecomedyhub]

Looked up the Songs of the Century and nearly spilled my tea.

[thecomedyhub]

Man oh man do I hate manspreading.

[thecomedyhub]

This is NYC. How can you tell if someone is in costume?

[thecomedyhub]

As far as I know, procrastination is not mentioned in the ten commandments, so I should be fine.

[thecomedyhub]

Is trick or treating kind of like truth or dare? If so, is the candy the dare?

[thecomedyhub]

Inconvenience store: We’re closed 24/7.