The Cracks Are Showing.

Really this is just about trying to force myself to write a little more, which is kind of my New Years Resolution I guess. Anyway, when I get things written I'll hopefully get them posted here.

[thecracksareshowing]

Can vampires Skype? The fuck are the rules these days?

[thecracksareshowing]

For Lent this year I'm going to give up subjecting myself to meaningless restrictions for the sake of a tradition rooted in a religion I have no faith in.

[thecracksareshowing]

Aw nuts. Turns out my spirit animal is 'The Head' from Art Attack.

[thecracksareshowing]

Finally, after over a year as a telephone fundraiser, today I finally rang someone who had recorded themselves singing the George Costanza answerphone message. Can't believe it took so long, I despair of you, British public.

Still, that's the last 12 months of my life justified, guess I'll try and find a proper job now.

[thecracksareshowing]

[ldsalasthecartoonking]

thecracksareshowing:

I have this weird fascination with large amounts of on-screen text in television shows, usually from close-ups of newspapers, magazines, menus, etc. In my experience they normally consist of one or two paragraphs repeated over and over, which have been written…

The same thing happened in Batman Returns, if you take a look closely.

[thecracksareshowing]

The plot thickens! 'Anonymous' also found this exact article in the 1978 movie Good Guys Wear Black starring Chuck Norris under the headline 'Freak Auto Wreck Kills Chicago Man':

So I guess this is just the standard movie news article. One that's been circulating for at least forty years. That must mean somebody out there knows where it came from.

[thecracksareshowing]

Who are you exactly?

[thecracksareshowing]

ARI Comment

Oh my Lord, Norman Jayden, the douchebag FBI Agent with the horrendous accent from Heavy Rain has turned up as Hector Reid, douchebag PE teacher with horrendous acting talent in Waterloo Road. All my favourite things have become one. I am literally giddy with excitement. My life is pathetic.

[thecracksareshowing]

Maybe tomorrow, honey, someplace down the line I'll wake up older, So much older, mama, I'll wake up older and I'll just stop all my trying

Blues Run the Game - Jackson C. Frank

[thecracksareshowing]

Well, on balance, that was one of the worst holidays I've ever been on. Still, Paris is a great place to have an emotional breakdown, because you can burst into tears on a crowded Metro and everyone there is so fucking insular they don't even throw you a cursory glance.

[thecracksareshowing]

I know this is kind of a shitty post to break like 6 months of silence with, but I was just making some beans on toast, and I somehow managed to time it so the microwave and the toaster finished at exactly the same time. Not even a split second out. Once in a lifetime event.

[djmystaspot]

[fuckyeahpreraphaelites]

Duty Edmund Blair Leighton 1883 

[diagnosednostalgia-blog]

Edmund Blair Leighton

Vanquished, 1884

[thecracksareshowing]

My whole life in two minutes.

[thecracksareshowing]

HMV

People are getting bummed out about HMV going into administration, but to be fair it is an awful shop which was only ever really useful for last minute panic Christmas shopping, and even then you couldn't find anything anyone would really like and ended up just going with something because it looked passable. The last thing I bought from HMV that didn't come in a 3 for £10 deal with guilt and self-loathing must be going back a good five or six years now.

[thecracksareshowing]

I think I may have just managed to roll out of bed at 12:20 and confirm the final remaining standing ticket for My Bloody Valentine's first Hammersmith show, although I have no idea how. This little gloat is sure going to make me feel stupid when this all turns out to be too good to be true.

[thecracksareshowing]

On Would I Lie To You just now, Gabby Logan jokingly said that if she sees a magpie she says "Hello Mr Magpie, how's your partner" on the grounds that saying 'wife' implies a heterosexual relationship and Lee Mack said in that classic sarcastic comedian tone: "It's political correctness gone maaaad".

But, that actually is political correctness gone mad, for comedic effect. So we've reached the point now where that phrase can mean nothing both genuinely and sarcastically, yet will still get the intended reaction from people. Which is good, because I need more words like 'literally' that I can throw into sentences when I'm worried they're going to run a little too short.