Crazy Hand

Nothing could be put more simple than this: I am a Hand with extraordinary powers. But in fact, I am more than that—I am more delusional than delusions, insaner than insanity, and madder than madness! I am Crazy Hand! EHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!!!!!! Should...

[xenargon]

Analyzing…

Analysis complete. Subject is composed of 100% pure, concentrated AMERICA.

[thecrazyhand]

What subject? I can’t see anything.

[facetroid]

This is a test.

Super Kraid Bros 64 is a good game.

[thecrazyhand]

[thecrazyhand]

*Crazy Hand fights the control of the Chains of Light.*

No—you will NOT have me...

*The energy strikes Crazy Hand, zapping him mercilessly unless all of his energy is drained.*

I... 

How... how is this...

... eheheh ... I goofed.

*Crazy Hand’s fingers lay limp in submission to Tabuu as the Chains of Light take over.* 

[thecrazyhand]

NOOO!!

*Crazy Hand, in a final spurt of energy, clenches his hand into a fist, and makes a full on charge towards Tabuu, to weaken him if not severely damage him.*

[thecrazyhand]

No... NO, BROTHER! 

THE CRYSTAL, IT’S... IT’S—

*Crazy Hand, still conscious, sees the red wormhole as well...*

No... NO! 

[thecrazyhand]

*The fiery heat scorches the palm of Crazy Hand, but he perseveres against the pain. He opens his palm and slams Dark Samus against the stage of Final Destination, trying to crush her further.*

C’MON, BROTHER!! FIGHT THE STRUGGLE—GIVE HER YOUR BEST SHOT! 

[thecrazyhand]

*Crazy Hand grabs the side of Mother Brain’s face, pulling the concentrated beam away from Master Hand, when he feels a sharp object strike his glove from behind*

Gah! 

Ugh, did you really forget that these gloves are Phazon resistant?

*The glove is not cut open, but damaged underneath from the strike. Crazy Hand, further enraged, turns to Dark Samus and grabs her in his fist, crushing her in the intensifying strength of his fingers.*

[thecrazyhand]

GET OUT OF MY WAY.

*In a spur of fury, Crazy Hand swings to backhand Dark Samus before moving onto Mother Brain*

[thecrazyhand]

Brother!

*Crazy Hand charges Mother Brain, an orb of dark magic forming in his hand. He clenches it as his fist-formed fingers fill with the energy, ready to smash the brain into oblivion.*

Gah, you were always too nice, brother!

[thecrazyhand]

FRISBEEE?!! I LOVEEEEEE FRISBEEE!!

*Crazy Hand vanishes, then reappears behind two of the chakrams, catching each one and tossing them back at Dark Samus. The other two are too fast, and fly towards Master Hand.*

[thecrazyhand]

*Crazy Hand teleports next to Master Hand*

How about a game of catch, brother???

[thecrazyhand]

*The electricity briefly shocks Crazy Hand, but because it was Phazon generated, the effects are minimal. He is only disoriented for a moment, but that gives the Torizo enough time to get back, lunging at Crazy Hand again. Anticipating this attack, Crazy Hand arches his fingers around it to dodge the strike. Crazy Hand flies around in circles around the spear towards the Chozo statue, forming his fingers into his Jet Strike positioning, aiming towards his foe’s chest*

[thecrazyhand]

*Crazy Hand laughs as the large pole extends from the Torizo’s hand.*

EHEHEHAHAHAHOHOHAHAHH!!! Now there’s the long pole! I was wondering where it went right after it went up—

*The javelin slashes Crazy Hand’s palm, and the hand back away in reflex. There is no cut, but damage is felt.*

OUCH—now that actually hurt!

*Now grouchy, Crazy Hand vanishes, reappearing behind Torizo, then grabs his back and slams him into the edge of the stage.*

[thecrazyhand]

*Crazy Hand laughs as he appears above Dark Samus statue thingamabob.*

Favoring Master over me? Ugh, it’s like we learned nothing from trying to take over the Realms.

Anyways, EHEHHAHAHAHOHAHHAHAH!!! Here are some cherries for you!

*As he plucks his crooked fingers downwards, he drops little black and orange bombs on the top of the Chozo’s head, hopefully causing some substantial damage to it.*

[thecrazyhand]

Yes.... YESSS... YESSSSSSSSS!!! EHEHEHEAHAHAOHAOHAHAHHAHAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

LET THE CARNAGE BEGIN!

*Crazy Hand convulses with insanity for a moment as a hysterical fit of laughter takes over him.*

[thecrazyhand]

*The Phazon harmlessly strikes a massive energy shield surrounding Final Destination, created by the Monolith Crystal’s immense power, before dissipating into the air. He wags a finger tauntingly.*

Nah-ah-ah!! You did that last time, not gonna let you kill my beats again! 

Let the music play. 

[thecrazyhand]

*Crazy Hand laughs at the presence of Dark Samus.*

Oh, so NOW you wanna fight, eh? AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!

*Crazy Hand pulls out the radio and plays the all-too-familiar song that DS interrupted him form playing before.*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7U007KpmcI&t=5s

Care to dance now, lady? EHEHEHAHHAHAHAHAOHOHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!

*He turns to Master Hand.*

Well, brother—they’ve played their hand. Shall we play ours?