Daily Thoughts Of A Madwoman

I want to try to keep track of my daily moods and occurrences in my life, but don’t want to clutter my main.

[thedailychar]

Whatever circle of hell I end up in after I die can’t be as bad as the one I’m in now.

[thedailychar]

January 15th, 2019 (and the previous week)

Wow, already fallen behind a week. Guess it’s harder to stay on top of things when I hit my low day’s.

Mood: This last week my mood had been rather lackluster. Depression and anxiety haven’t been terrible but I could definitely feel their presence creeping in. I did get annoyed super easy, had a bit of an attitude, and started crying at my doctor’s appointment Friday.

Overall, nothing really interesting happened. Started the Dry at River, and the guys there kept requesting me for stuff while putting the other apprentices on “cleaning” or “security” duty. Still hate it there especially with how cold it was. The cold weather made me get even more sick, to the point I stayed in the office all day Thursday because I was too dizzy to even stand. Went to the doctor Friday and was told it was just allergies. So that’s fun. Don’t believe her because there’s no way it’s allergies with how much medicine I’ve been taking. Spent the weekend feeling miserable and sleeping all day. Class yesterday went well, assignments were easy, and then I went home and immediately fell asleep for almost 15 hours. Woke up today feeling terrible still, and now debating calling out.

[thedailychar]

January 7th, 2019

Mood: Stable. No highs or lows.

Today was back to school. Joy, right? Honestly, it wasn’t bad. The professors seem nice, and it’a back to the usual antics of having class with 13+ of us who know each other. Hopefully the classes are as easy this semester. I do love this campus for the wildlife, though.

It is bugging me, though, that there’s a girl in one of my classes that looks super familiar but I can’t place from where.

Ended up going to Best Buy’s open box sale and getting a new lap top. I feel terrible my parents spent so much, but at least it’s good quality and what I want.

[thedailychar]

January 6th, 2017

(A little late but that’s okay)

Mood: Was good for most of the day. Fairly happy, no depression. My night saw an anxiety spike though.

Had a really great day for most of the day today. Went to Disney Springs and spent an hour relaxing and drinking coffee/eating coffee cake before meeting up with Melissa and Brittni. Had a fun, albeit short, day with them, enjoyed EPCOT. I really needed that day out, to be honest. Then I took a boat over to Boardwalk and got a good hand scooped milkshake that I’d be craving for a while, then bussed back to Disney Springs to head home.

Had to stop at target to get graph paper, and while waiting at a light my car stalled out (hence the anxiety spike). Turned the car off and on and everything is fine and had no more occurrences but I’m still paranoid.

[thedailychar]

January 5th, 2019

Mood: Good. I feel happy, no anxiety.

Today I slep late, almost until 11am. Finished up dying my hair and even though it’s not what I was trying for I loved how it turned out. Went over to Nick’s, made some food, spent my afternoon playing AC Odyessey and watching Supergirl. Still feeling that cold coming on so kept taking NyQuil and that ended up knocking me out for the night around 7pm.

[thedailychar]

January 4th, 2019

Mood: Really good. No depression, no anxiety. Feel a cold starting again though.

Today was actually a great day. Got to work, and even though it was my last day I finally got into the swing of things at Skull and started to do things in my own (did the PMs for RV Controls and the Drivers). Spent a hot minute being fire watch for the welder and Felix and I had great video game conversations while we waited for QC. And then was able to take charge and help Cope put the front panel back on the RV after everything was done. Cope told me that the guys at River are excited I’m coming back next week, so even though they’re assholes at least they like me. And Ed wrote a really good Eval for me and wants me to come back to Skull whenever possible.

And then I got home, slept two hours, took my Christmas lights down and then got a hair cut. I absolutely hate how short my hair is because now I show my weight in my face more. But at least the 6 inches of dead ends are gone.

Went and saw Bumblebee finally and saw Second Act, both really good movies that I’m glad I saw. I loved Charlie. She is the epitome of who I aspire to be. And Maya’s character was great because it kinda mirrors everything I’m feeling in my life on a professional level.

Overall, super good day.

[thedailychar]

January 3rd, 2019

Mood: Meh. Not bad but not particularly great. No anxiety.

Today was very much a nothing day. Didn’t really do anything at work. Helped with RVs and sat around. Slept all day until I had to go to work and made chicken. Nothing memorable for the books.

[thedailychar]

January 2nd, 2019

Mood: Very bad depression, anger issues, struggled to be willing to come to work

My day started off well. My shift at work went amazingly, I got to help with new inspections. I fulfilled a 3 year dream of standing inside Kong and touching his face. The Skull supervisor brought in 10 pounds of prime rib and it was delicious. I was in a good mood. And then came after work I got home and was starving, slept 3 hours and then was woken up triggering my extreme depression and anger. I was still hungry, couldn’t sleep, and I just wanted the world to stop. Didn’t want to come to work and was in a super bad mood until I got here and now I feel bad for being a cunt.

[thedailychar]

January 1st, 2019

Mood: Tired, but optimistic. Depression minimal. Anxiety off and on, no known cause.

The first day of the new year. Spent the day trying to sleep for work, only kinda succeeded. Tired as hell and forgot my safety glasses but I got my Bang and my music to get me prepared for this shift. Wish me well.

Coworker asked about my Facebook post about how 2019 will be my year, and I know he’s just thinking it’s me being dramatic about 2018, but I’ll let him think what he will.