Given your (accurate) criticisms of Mr Bennet's approach to parenting, why do you think he is portrayed in the text in a better light than say Mrs Bennet or Sir Walter? Is it because we're mainly in Lizzie's POV and she likes him?
See, I don’t know that he IS portrayed in a better light than Sir Walter or Mrs. Bennet, strictly speaking. He’s clearly more intelligent than those two, and certainly warmer towards Lizzie, even as he is dismissive and even cruel towards his other daughters, but his neglect and selfishness is clear.
I do think readers are more apt to forgive Mr. Bennet because they DO want to identify with Elizabeth, though Elizabeth has the pain and struggle later in the novel of facing up to the fact that her Fun Dad has actually behaved very crappily to everyone, and the threat to her own happiness has not been spared merely because she’s his favourite, so his preferential treatment begins to wear thin and feel hollow. Yes, he saved her from being forced to marry Mr. Collins; but indirectly his failure to provide for his daughters/address Lydia’s behaviour has shitcanned all possibility of anyone’s future security and happiness with respectable gentlemen.
It’s easy to blame Lydia/Wickham on the surface for wrecking the family, because they Do the Thing, but Mr. Bennet laid the groundwork for YEARS and made the entire catastrophe possible in the first place. He had to get, like, six different things wrong in order for Wickham and Lydia to even have the chance to run off.
It’s kind of a reflection of Lizzie’s own growth lessons in realizing her wit and intelligence do not necessarily make her a better person--her quick judgements of Wickham and Darcy are wrong, and her initial condemnation of Charlotte’s engagement feels wildly unfair. Likewise, Mr. Bennet’s wit is used to belittle his wife and daughters, while he’s doing nothing. A healthy retirement savings plan would no doubt ease Mrs. Bennet’s nerves to a great extent, and a better education would improve his ‘inferior’ daughters’ minds and habits, but Mr. Bennet doesn’t push for this. He sits on his ass, then points and laughs at the people he’s doing nothing to look after for being...poorly looked-after. He twists their irritating defects into purely the fault of their personal failings, and doesn’t for a moment consider that he could and should have any positive influence as a husband and parent and clearly the stronger mind and spirit in those dynamics. He’s intelligent, but he lacks any self-reflection to consider the possibility that he might be mistaken, or broader consideration of the feelings of others in how he wields his wit. Elizabeth must learn to do this, or else she will sit in her erroneous judgements like her father, smug and alone.
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