The Duchess of Dork

Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not. Vaclav Havel Wanderluster. I am not my Tumblr.

[judgejudyofficial]

In French we don’t say “Marry me,” we say ted cruz est le tueur du zodiaque which roughly translates to “Let us never separate” and I think that’s truly beautiful

[thedaniellespell]

Lolololol!

[lavidaextraordinaria]

What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us?

[frenchshower]

My science teacher said he thinks that’s true actually

[thepioden]

Yeah this is actually pretty much exactly what is going on. It’s why anti-oxidants are such a big deal. Bonus fact: oxygen oxidizes stuff in your cells or, in other words, it’s not toxic, just setting you on fire very very slowly.

[sarah-mcelroy-deactivated202601]

[femonologue]

What if there are aliens out there but they subsist on entirely different substances and they’re just scared as shit of us and our crazy ass hell planet? Once in a while some alien anthropologist type suggests checking out the people on this inhabited planet out towards the galaxy’s edge. The other aliens just look at the naive academic with horror. No!! We do not go to that world. That is where the DEATH BREATHERS live. They recreationally consume poisons and are more or less composed of biological fire. Their atmosphere is made of rocket fuel. We must leave the DEATH BREATHERS in peace. Do not go there. Do not.

[optimysticals]

I tend to always reblog posts about humans being terrifying weirdos to aliens.

[alessariel]

@brainsforbabyjesus

[brainsforbabyjesus]

okay but…that is actually what went down on earth about 2.5 billion years ago.

Earth was doing just fine with a mostly nitrogen/carbon dioxide atmosphere and everyone was happy to go on living in anaerobic bliss and then cyanobacteria suddenly hit the scene, altered the atmosphere composition so that there was a ton of oxygen gas and killed practically everything (97% or more of all species on earth).

We are literally descendants of the DEATH BREATHERS and cyanobacteria is our deadly mother.

[digitaldiscipline]

The cyanobacteria holocaust is so big, it doesn’t even have a cool name; it’s just called “The Great Oxygenation Event”; the *second* most apocalyptic extinction event in our planet’s history is the one that’s called THE GREAT DYING (the Permian-Triassic event, about 252 million years ago).

This shit makes like the rock-throwing that wiped out the dinosaurs look like kindergarten.

[thedaniellespell]

I can’t…I can’t believe this. This news saddens me beyond belief.

Alan- you were a master. Rest in peace.

[thedaniellespell]

TOMORROW...

[poyzn]

This is like installing Windows on a Mac.

[princem4rtian]

I am physically required to reblog this or my heart will stop beating.

[phiftycent]

oh my god

[thedaniellespell]

:D

[popculturebrain]

Clip: ‘Pitch Perfect 2′

[thedaniellespell]

May 15th, Pitches!

[leoreturns-deactivated20110811]

[popculturebrain]

HBO Has Ordered A Brooklyn Bar To Stop Showing ‘Game Of Thrones’ | Uproxx

[thedaniellespell]

What is this bullshit?

[popappella]

Home Free - Honey, I’m Good

OPB: Andy Grammer

Yet another new video from those country boys in Home Free!

If you wanna help Home Free make more music videos 

Become a Patreon!

https://www.patreon.com/HomeFree

[drtanner-dickery]

EVERY TIME I GET REMINDED THAT CHUCK NORRIS IS A TWAT, I WONDER WHY WE'RE NOT MAKING THOSE JOKES ABOUT SOMEONE WHO'S ACTUALLY COOL

Like Idris Elba, for example. I can’t think of a single Chuck Norris joke that couldn’t be far better applied to Idris Elba.

THERE USED TO BE A STREET NAMED AFTER IDRIS ELBA BUT THEY HAD TO RENAME IT BECAUSE NO ONE CROSSES IDRIS ELBA AND LIVES.

IDRIS ELBA AND SUPERMAN ONCE FOUGHT EACH OTHER FOR A BET. THE LOSER HAD TO START WEARING HIS UNDERWEAR ON THE OUTSIDE OF HIS PANTS.

SOME MAGICIANS CAN WALK ON WATER. IDRIS ELBA CAN SWIM THROUGH LAND.

IDRIS ELBA CAN SLAM A REVOLVING DOOR.

DEATH ONCE HAD A NEAR-IDRIS ELBA EXPERIENCE.

IDRIS ELBA IS IMMUNE TO HEART ATTACKS. HIS HEART ISN’T NEARLY FOOLISH ENOUGH TO ATTACK HIM.

IDRIS ELBA CAN WIN A GAME OF CONNECT FOUR IN THREE MOVES.

WHEN IDRIS ELBA DOES A PRESS-UP, HE ISN’T LIFTING HIMSELF UP. HE’S PUSHING THE EARTH DOWN.

Try to tell me this shit isn’t better with Idris Elba.

You can’t. Because it is.

[nuderefsarebest]

[weeburdoodles]

100% SUPPORT THIS.

[thedaniellespell]

Forever reblog.

[thecoppercow]

Greggs is Serious Business, apparently.

[sesherhesher]

greggs is serious business, trust

[thedaniellespell]

Would kill for a Greggs right now.

[adteachings-deactivated20220125]

[wificoffeeshopreviews]

Get your free iced tea or iced coffee on April 7th between 2pm-5pm at Au Bon Pain!

[comfyprincess]

Is no one else going to talk about this?!

additionally this American Girl of Today outfit is from 1998 and Kimmy was kidnapped in 1998 I’M JUST SAYING.

[meredithdraper-deactivated20150]

Knowing Tina Fey, that was not a coincidence.

[picklesandwine]

WAIT I don’t know these dolls very well but is that Molly? Which is, as we know, Kimmy’s favorite American Girl Doll?

[thedaniellespell]

Brilliant.

[thedaniellespell]

Friendly Reminder: Don't believe anything you read on the internet today... Including this post.

William Shakespeare

[prostheticknowledge]

[it8bit]

Google Maps - Pac-Man Edition

The first Google April Fools has arrived, turning map information into a playable game of the arcade classic.

Here is a link to the Taj Mahal version

(but you can try it out anywhere where there are roads and pathways)

(via:prostheticknowledge)

[popculturebrain]

George R.R. Martin Will Sit Out Season 6 Of ‘Game Of Thrones’ To Focus On Writing The Next Book | Uproxx

[thedaniellespell]

Sigh. I guess we’ll get two versions of the story now.

Maise in Doctor Who, tho!