I Apologize For Collateral Damage

My name is Shade . Mercenary, Thief, and General Nuisance depending on who you ask. But really, The only thing you need to know about me? I'm efficient. Indie OC 6+ Years of Role Play Experience Main Blog to harmonyinshadows & xgentlechaosx Multi-Fandom or Fandomless

[ask-meme-addicts]

“Guide to Troubled Birds” sentence meme

❝ The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math. ❞

❝ I preen for Satan. ❞

❝ I disembowel. It’s what I do. ❞

❝ He gave them the heebie-jeebies. He had nothing else to give. ❞

❝ I’d sell you to Satan for one corn chip. ❞

❝ I love you despite the warning signs. ❞

❝ I’m a dirty bird. ❞

❝ This was a topsy-turvy world of anguish, shame and self-torment. ❞

❝ I’m three ounces of whoop-ass. ❞

❝ Dealing with you is like herding cats. ❞

❝ My mating dance is mostly seizures. ❞

❝ This jackassery will not stand! ❞

❝ I’ve been through hell and come out singing. ❞

❝ Your love has made me a drunk. ❞

❝ I’m not majestic on weekends. ❞

❝ God can’t help you now. ❞

❝ That’s a crazy idea. Insane. It doesn’t make sense. ❞

❝ I had on my prettiest dress and he never even looked at it. ❞

❝ He had a violent, uncontrolled temper, which sent him literally insane when he was annoyed, but he was good looking. ❞

❝ This might have passed a very pleasant evening had shit not gotten real. ❞

❝ Perhaps you can do something about the evil spirit in my head. ❞

❝ My emotions have three outlets: haughty silence, tears and rage. ❞

❝ I do not go to my happy place, I go to my high lonesome place. ❞

❝ I am often seized by the fatal American need to have a pretty good time. ❞

❝ I’m addicted to shiny things. ❞

❝ The ability to remain sober and gracious is, indeed, a mild form of insanity. ❞

❝ My modus operandi is dial up the awesome and break the knob off. ❞

❝ Looking for trouble and if I cannot find it, I will create it. ❞

❝ The drinks came. I wasn’t about to be sobered by anything like regret. ❞

❝ Foie gras this, motherfucker! ❞

❝ The whispery groans in my mind are beginning to issue orders. ❞

❝ Unicorn of love, impale me! ❞

❝ Oh. You’re an artist. ❞

❝ I hope you’ll excuse my cheap wit, but the hour is late and it’s all I have left. ❞

❝ As always, all I should’ve said was, “I love you.” ❞

[thedarkissoloud]

For the cat one, I chose one that I knew muse would hate MUAHAHAHA!: “I’m trying to take a picture of you, please stop moving.”

“If you snap that photo I will break your camera. With my face. Just to prove a point.”

[goodnightmemes]

Shit I’ve said to my cat; sentence starters

“What are you doing?”

“What did you knock over?”

“Don’t eat that!”

“What’s in your mouth? What do you have in your mouth?!?”

“Plastic isn’t food.”

“How did you get up there?”

“Are you stuck? You got yourself up there, you can get down.”

“I have to pee – can you move?”

“It’s so early, please stop.”

“I haven’t seen you in hours. Where were you hiding?”

“I know you’re trying to tell me something, I just don’t know what.”

“Don’t be mean! I’m just trying to love you!”

“You’re just the cutest thing ever.”

-points to mirror-  “That’s you!”

“I’m trying to take a picture of you, please stop moving.”

“You haven’t moved in hours.”

“How can you be such a bed hog? You’re so tiny!”

“You have the cutest nose.”

“Look at those feet-ies!”

“You’re like a gargoyle up there.”

“Don’t bite me, that’s rude.”

“You look so comfortable. I wish I could be that comfortable.”

“All you do is sleep and eat. That’s the life.”

“You are so lazy. You would not survive in the wild.”

“Could you blink, or something? You’re starting to freak me out.”

“Those squirrels look like they’re doing something shifty.”

- boops nose -

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

Over It. Humanity = It. (Closed)

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

The tapping on his foot brought him back to her a bit. “You shelter a myriad of individuals who are a little lost don’t you?” He rested his chin on his hand, looking at her with a tired expression. 

 “I do believe I paid my tab. And you know I don’t have to work there to pay a tab.” Cassander had enough money to keep the tab going for another thousand years and still pay it off.” At the ‘emotional compensation’ he barked a laugh, his eyes tearing up a bit. That was an understatement for the last several years.

 “You, do not give up, do you?” He said softly, in almost an endearing fashion. “Anger is the most human emotion in the body, my dear.” His eyes were sad, “You would be surprised by how long people can hold grudges against you.”

 Cassander sat back and nodded, “Alright. Give me a time and I’ll be there.” 

[thedarkissoloud]

“Maybe I do.” Really it wasn’t so different than where she grew up, though she would be hesitant to draw that comparison. “Maybe not but I’m not going to accept anything less than your company.

“No, not really. It’s never once gotten me what I wanted.” When he gave in she smiled, not having anything to say about grudges. “How about next Tuesday at six. You can help me open.” The waiter brought dessert for them both before long and she pushed the plate closer to Cassander

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

Red (Closed = Zombie AU)

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

“But I’m around you so that request is hardly fair to stay undistracted.” He chuckled, moving toward the staircase. The rifle he definitely wanted- he loved long range guns. 

Cassander blew her kiss as he went up to the roof, stretching as he went. He found a nice edge of the building with the best view and nestled into the corner. It reminded him of his war days and he fell perfectly into the niche. Neon eyes swept across the street below. Some were roaming around but made no move toward the bar.

 While he was up there he hummed quietly to himself, before chipping off a piece of the roof with his fingers and flung it down the street where it hit a car window. It twanged, but didn’t break. Only the ones nearby seemed to notice and shuffle towards the car and started to sniff. 

Attracted to sound and smell. 

[thedarkissoloud]

While he took watch Shade took a place by the radio, sitting where she could look out to the main room and catch glimpses of the street through the grates. In an open notebook she wrote down whatever pieces of information came through, road closures, government responses within the city. It seemed to be mostly contained for the time being, whatever was happening wasn’t as widespread as they originally feared but if it spread as fast as any other virus... she made a note in the margins of any mentions of mass odd behavior.

Around mid afternoon she fixed a modest lunch and left it warming before climbing the stairs. “What have you found?”

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

Red (Closed = Zombie AU)

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

“No but I’ve certainly learned a few things from one.” He purred, taking the shove with a playful smile. They were going to need these moments to stay sane soon enough. “I’m not sure if I can unlock a newer model. Smart keys and shit like that.” He hummed and took one of the offered poptarts. He didn’t need to eat as much, sure, but he might as well nibble to keep his strength up. The coffee smelled heavenly. “If they sleep at all… we should spend some more time on the roof. Are we agreed to head North to the CDC?”

[thedarkissoloud]

“I’m sure there’s something we can figure out. If nothing else I can steal the keys from a parking garage.” She broke her breakfast in half and then half again, eating slowly while thinking hard. “If its a virus or parasite it will have to rest at some point. A body can only take so much before it collapses by itself. If it’s a mutation or anything else then we have no starting point… they’re not rational at any rate.” She fell silent then jerked her head up as if she had just realized he was still there. “Yeah, North is good. Military bases, get an idea of what’s going on, and then we’ll go from there.”

“We should take shifts on the roof, one of us on the radio and one on the streets. Yeah?”

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

He could remember the time when her legs swinging against the cabinet was an annoyance, now it was just such an endearing feature of her; he fell in love a little bit again. 

Cassander admired her for a moment. That was all he could spare before getting lost in his thoughts again. “You’re brilliant.” He told her and then took a deep breath. “Darm, and the radio  and the streets are so far away from each other.” He joked with her before taking a deep breath, “Welp. I guess I volunteer for street duty, ma’am.” 

[thedarkissoloud]

“You do that. I’m going to be down here enjoying my air conditioning.” A smug grin flirted across her lips before she reached one hand out, thumping his bicep. “Don’t get distracted, alright? Take water up and there’s a rifle behind the door of the stockroom. Take it too.”

On one hand she didn’t want to separate but in the other it was the best option. They needed intelligence and to get into contact with someone, even if it wasn’t anyone they knew. “I’ll come check in on you in a few hours.” No more than four. No less than two unless something happened. “Leave the doors on the stairs open so we can hear, yeah?”

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

Over It. Humanity = It. (Closed)

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

His eyebrows rose when she addressed him again. He had thought about fixing the place up once- it had been a fleeting thought that had only last a moment. He had been too far gone to really considerate between the various drug or alcohol induced haze. Cassander shrugged, “I have a sister who more than likely wants me dead. And I have two friends who…” He shrugged, “I don’t know. I disappeared.” His voice trailed off. 

He chuckled, “You’d want an undying, exceedingly depressive, immortal to work your bar to pay off my tab?” Cassander didn’t know why that was exactly funny, but it was. He hummed quietly, watching the people around the restaurant again. “I’m not even sure I remember how to mix drinks.” He did- he had a horrifyingly good memory. Plus as a raging alcoholic? He tended to know what the drinks tasted like too. 

Cassander shrugged, “I don’t know where they are even if I did call them. I doubt they’d want to hear from me anyway. People don’t take kindly to other’s vanishing without a trace.” 

[thedarkissoloud]

“It’s the twenty first century. You can find anyone with a bit of ingenuity.” She tapped his foot under the table. “Why not? I’ve already got a depressed kleptomaniac and a the rest of our cast isn’t much better- well. Nico is a ray of sunshine but he’s about the only well adjusted member of it.” She propped her cheek on her fist. “I think you’re lying and if you aren’t gonna work then you owe me nearly three grand in alcohol and I’ll keep annoying you for a month. Call it emotional recompensation for making me commit a felony.”

Yeah, she was pushing it but it was her very nature. “Don’t I know it..... I think some would still rather hear from you, anger is temporary.” Usually. “Then again. It’s your call to make.” Their food arrived before too long.

[sparknshinerpmemes-blog]

Reblog this if your muse suffers from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

Over It. Humanity = It. (Closed)

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

He laughed softly, more to himself than to her. “Everything we tell kids… Don’t look under your bed, you’ll see a demon. Don’t hover in doorways because the fae will get you… Every story has an origin, everything a beginning.” Cassander waved his hand, sighing quietly. “I digress.”

Cassander looked up at her, glancing over the menu and seeing… His eyes landed on something he hadn’t had in a long time. “Icecream.” He shrugged, “Haven’t had that since World War 1… There was this little vendor outside the train station. Made everything out of this barrel. It was probably the best I’ve ever tasted- especially since I had never had ice cream before. Always had a liking to it.”

He wasn’t sure why he told her that. Maybe because he craved to tell her things. More than he had before- more than… Cassander pushed those thoughts away. He drank out of his glass, quieting significantly after his short story. The feeling was like trying to pouring yourself into a glass that you were scared of breaking. You couldn’t put too much yourself in or it would overflow and shatter. You couldn’t put too little either.

[thedarkissoloud]

He was full of stories, something that had always endeared her to someone. Maybe it was the time she spent wither unit, close quarters and company on long trips leaving little to do but tell stories to each other. Whatever it was she wanted to hear more. Later.

She motioned to get thwirbwaiter’s attention and ordered for the both of them without thinking about the implications. When they left however she didn’t apologize for the small seizure of control. “Not to intrude anymore than I have but you should really find somewhere to stay until you can get your building straightened out. Immortal or not asbestos has gotta be an issue for you.” Absently she folded a napkin down into no particular pattern, simply to do something with her hands.

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

He didn’t mind the control- he doubted he would have ordered it for himself anyway. There was a part of him that told him that indulging in his own desires were childish- and he was far past the age for it. Cassander looked up at her before barking a quick laugh.

“I’ve been there for almost six years, I doubt that it’ll kill me now.” Cassander looked down at the menu’s last location, thoughts suddenly intruding into his mind. He had let that whole place go to ruin. The ghosts there were enough to make it unbearable to live there. Now he was rotting away within it’s walls. Images of the ivy slowly growing up the walls, accompanied by the number of bottles that littered the floor. He had gone so far down hill… Why bother coming back? 

Seeing a bit of perspiration drip down the glass. His chest ached for a moment. So much time lost… So many things he could have been doing. Then another wave of guilt hit and then his stomach twisted with the thought that he shouldn’t be allowed to live at all if he squandered it. Why couldn’t she have just left him to decompose… not that he would have. But god damn it…

He took a sharp breath, trying to surface from those thoughts. Like a black sea of his mind trying to crush him. He looked around at the restaurant, seeing family’s laugh and lovers sit between that little space that only they were oblivious to. His head turned back to Shade, his jaw a little tighter. Cassander put his hands in his lap, lacing them tightly together to give himself something to focus on. The nails biting into his palms and the backs of his hands that were already scarred. 

Cassander swallowed, “I’ll be fine… thank you though.” He gave her such a small sad smile. “It’s nice to know that a human can still care about a drunk stranger in a bathtub every now and then. But it’s probably best for me to go back to it." 

[thedarkissoloud]

His mind was like smoke, vague impressions pressed against consciousness rather than images or concrete feelings. It was different. The impressions strong and the dark well of thoughts made her plant her feet against the floor to ground herself and push it aside.

“I disagree. The only reason for you to go back to that hellhole is to fix it up.” The idea that she very well could have been in his position, drunk with a bottle of brandy as an only lover, with just a few different circumstances and a little more push from life didn’t endear him to her. Rather it drug the desire to shove him back into the world head first further forward. “You have anyone around that would miss you? Friends, family?” A small pause, studying him, letting his thoughts answer if his mouth wouldn’t.

“Before you decide to drown yourself at whatever pity party you’re planning you should call one of them. If you won’t do that then I’ve got an open position at the bar I need filled for a week - I won’t take no for an answer. Call it paying off your tab.”

[writingforthefeels]

Person A is an assassin sent to kill a corrupt politician. They’re promised a get away driver and right after the kill, A gets into the car waiting in front of the building. But there’s no driver until 5 seconds later someone, person B, takes the seat.

They drive in complete silence until A realizes they missed the intersection. A speaks up and B swerves, nearly crashing because they didn’t see A there before.

A tells them that they’re the worst getaway driver ever and B is confused because why would this gorgeous stranger need a getaway driver??

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

Beyond the Stars (Closed)

[thedarkissoloud]

ohdeargodnotyouagain:

“You submit a request with the partner aid division if you wish. But you’ll have to wait for the others to have their retests first.” He said simply. Cassander walked out of the room, and there was a most certain part that if the door had not been a slider and automatic- he surely would have slammed it.

The General sighed through his nose, glancing at the woman. “Good luck with that one… If there are any…” he picked his words carefully, as most Anamarthians did, “…issues, that need more serious attention. Please let me know and I will intervene.”

xxx

If there was one thing Cassander hated to the truest core of his damn being, it was space. Which might sound strange, since he was literally almost never planet side anymore- but it was still there. On the transport there were numerous groups around them. Partners sitting either side by side or across from one another- strapped in to their seats and literally crammed into the little box. All of them at least seemed happy. There was just something about being in a tight flying soda can he didn’t like. At least, he felt it when he wasn’t driving.

He had a holographic wall in front of him of reports- blurs from anyone not directly in front of it or without the implant in their neck that allowed them to see the classified information. He glared at her through it for a moment. “I’m not sulking.” He growled, going back to flicking through reports about Alpha Station. “Since we’re stuck together until our retest, I submitted your paperwork to be on the same clearance level- At least now I won’t be talking to a wall when it comes to our assignments.”

She barely resisted rolling her eyes at the man’s retreating form. “Thank you, sir… but I think I can handle any issues that might come up myself.” After all, what was the point of enlisting if not to learn to handle one’s own problems. *** “Uh-huh sure.”  He’s sulking. “Not to be, rude or anything boss but what makes you think I’m so clueless?” the clearance was nice, helpful by a mile but she wanted to know more about Cassander and that she couldn’t get from his file. She could however, get an idea through pushing. That was something she was good at at least.

“Hey so, speaking of- what exactly is your job? Because if it’s making everyone on this bae intensely uncomfortable and intimidated then I’m sure you’re great at it.” 

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

“You’re not clueless. You’re inexperienced and that will get you killed.” He muttered and typed a few things onto his keyboard that floated in front of him. Again, he shot a glare through the reports scrolling past.

“My job is to receive missions, get our orders, keep you alive now and complete the mission.” He glanced at the other people on the boat, “If their uncomfortable, then they can get out.” Cassander’s eyes flickered around them before going back to his screen, “If they haven’t figured out I’m not a cuddly teddy bear yet, that’s their problem.” He froze on one unit and stopped to actually read that one before sighing. “First mission.”

[thedarkissoloud]

“Aren’t we all.” She shot back dryly. Moving so she could see him through the screen. “You don’t have to keep me alive. I’ve been doing that myself for a long time.”

“Oh yeah. Just take a little walk through the vacuum of space. That’s always good for the nerves. Just cools ya right off.” She was curious as to how much poking she could get away with before he snapped at her. Easy enough to find out. She tapped the toes of her boot into his. “Oh? What is it? Do share of gracious one. Spill unto me the knowledge you have received.”

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

Beast (Semi-Closed AU)

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

There wasn’t a response from the stone walls of the bunker. Her voice bounced back to her, and the sounds of gunfire rattled off in the distance. It grew closer and closer, hurting the ears of whomever was nearby to hear it. The men in black rounded the corner, to their room. The rose their weapons to fire again- cutting through their defense in one pull of a trigger.

Cassander rose then.

In slow motion, he sat up from the bed like something out of a horror movie. He rose like a man from a coffin but his eyes were not his own- they were neither black like they were before or the familiar neon blue ones. They had no iris- and glowed like they were reflecting some angelic light behind them.

The men froze at how fast he moved out of the bed and stood in front of them. His movements were slow then- like time was bending back and forth around him and he took a deep breath before holding his hand out in front of him. “Turn away.” His voice was inside her head and all around her. Then everything was moving faster again and the a lightning strike of unholy power erupted from his palm and went down the tunnel that lead to their room. The room was blindingly white and the men that had run into the room were- were gone. There wasn’t blood splatter or the scent of death- simply shadows burnt into the wall.

His eyes turned to hers, still glowing. His voice was not Cassander, but something entirely different. People were rushing in again but this time it was Alexander and Lykana, both wide eyed and shocked. “C-Cassander?” One of them asked and he stood there cocking his head to the side. “I am neither him nor I, but some combination of two halves.” His voice flanged outwards, as if he was speaking with two voice boxes.

Alexander went to Shade’s side, offering her help to stand if she needed it. “Then who are you?” Lykana asked, frowning hard at him. “What are you?”

[thedarkissoloud]

She dove for cover. Not one to run from a fight she knew when she was better off out of the way, ducking behind the dais and resisting the urge to look at what was happening. Whoever had risen from the bed was not Cassander but it wasn’t Not him either. There was the telltale flicker of power before it apppeared and she squeezed her eyes shut. The light faded and slowly she rose into a crouch, eyes flirting over the new marks before resting on the man.

The dais was between her and him but when Alex came to her side she was grateful for the support. Not that it would be voiced. She laid her hand on his forearm, eyes cold as she took in the scene before her. Where’s Hephastian? It was a question for the man beside her though unvoiced. She needed to know where all the pieces to this game were at.

“Something new:” her voice was as cold as her expression, a thing that would have gave Lykana a run for her money. She was guarded, she’d been that a lot lately.

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

Red (Closed = Zombie AU)

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

“No but I’ve certainly learned a few things from one.” He purred, taking the shove with a playful smile. They were going to need these moments to stay sane soon enough. “I’m not sure if I can unlock a newer model. Smart keys and shit like that.” He hummed and took one of the offered poptarts. He didn’t need to eat as much, sure, but he might as well nibble to keep his strength up. The coffee smelled heavenly. “If they sleep at all… we should spend some more time on the roof. Are we agreed to head North to the CDC?”

[thedarkissoloud]

“I’m sure there’s something we can figure out. If nothing else I can steal the keys from a parking garage.” She broke her breakfast in half and then half again, eating slowly while thinking hard. “If its a virus or parasite it will have to rest at some point. A body can only take so much before it collapses by itself. If it’s a mutation or anything else then we have no starting point... they’re not rational at any rate.” She fell silent then jerked her head up as if she had just realized he was still there. “Yeah, North is good. Military bases, get an idea of what’s going on, and then we’ll go from there.”

“We should take shifts on the roof, one of us on the radio and one on the streets. Yeah?”

[thedarkissoloud]

Okay

HUGE apologies guys. Things have been stressful lately and Shade’s muse has been all over the place. But my college stuff is finally getting taken care of with housing and finances and work is cutting me some slack.

That said I REALLY am back this time!! She’s getting a bit of a reimagine and some updates, might be a name change for the blog somewhere in the future, but I’m back here for plotting and drafts. If we have a previous thread that I don’t reply to within the next 7 days or so just shoot me a message. I’m working on getting thread tracker set up.

Everything is coming from ovule for now though because dash stresses me out at the moment. I love y’all. I’m sorry for the scatterbrained-ness. Come let me love you.

[thedarkissoloud]

‘ Oh, good God, you’re not gonna tell me a bedtime story, are ya? ‘

“Not unless you’re askin’ for one.” Shade put aside her book and tilted her head, “I don’t think you would like the stories I have to tell.”

[thedarkissoloud]

HEY! Good to see you

Hey! I’ve missed you!!

[ohdeargodnotyouagain]

No Safer Hands (Closed AU)

[thedarkissoloud]

ohdeargodnotyouagain:

“Sadly they no longer give out awards for brooding.” He called after her and shot Artemis a look as he pawed after her. He gave him a look right back and Cassander made a betrayed expression. Artemis rolled his eyes at him and went after Shade, right up against her. Great, my dog has left me for my charge. 

Alexander came out soon afterward, looking certainly better than she had seen him before. He wore a three piece gray suit with a soft blue shirt and tie. “Don’t look so perturbed Cassander, please. It ages you.” He joked and Cassander sighed, “Everything ages me.”

“It’s a shame, you are so very good at it.” “I like you.” she absently pets the dog, smoothing a thumb over his head every so often. When the door behind her opened once more she turned and arched her brows. The blond certainly cleaned up nice though he wasn’t exactly her ‘type’ perse. 

“Maybe you should get a hip replacement soon, might help you keep up with me.” she called to her guard, smirking while tangling her fingers into smooth fur before smoothing it out with light scritching.