The Dating Misadventures

[thedatingmisadventures]

There is likely to be other Ghosts in my life. I am sure of it. It is a common enough occurrence.

This one I met on Coffee and Beagle. They were my type, figured things would be easier since we both decided to connect. Clearly this was not the case. We spoke back and forth, the same old comments on appearance being swapped back and forth. Then came the insistent ‘lets meet’ comments. I am busy. I tend to find little down time for myself during the week, I definitely wasn’t able to find it for a person I barely knew.

Then came the very important question about expectations. I was forth coming with my expectations. I am not looking for a fuck buddy. Those are easy to find. A bed warmer is a dime a dozen. I am not looking for that. I want to date someone and lead into a relationship. One not based on the sole fact of sex. Plus, I’ve been in the game long enough to be leery of people who want to hang out and play games. 

So I figured I made this clear enough. I even suggested coffee. What I got seemed to indicate that they agreed. The last message, not in the image indicated was, ‘Haha np.’. That was it. I never heard from them again to plan the coffee, or what. Internally, I am a little vexed because I set aside part of my day to have coffee with them, but I guess the lack of kissing on the first date was too great of a deterrent.

[thedatingmisadventures]

Finger Slip

This is by far the funniest thing I have ever done to date when it comes to selecting partners. It’s funny before I made a mistake.

On bumble, I swiped on this person. An engineer who has a line that specified that a person should attempt to make them laugh. I figured, I got a really good/bad pun. I types into the message box ‘Fun Fact: Power naps are great. They help you charge up.’. The pun being a play on power and charge. I knew it was a bad joke, so I went searching for a drum gif... I found one that I thought would be cute, but I couldn’t see it. So I pressed it, thinking it would open so I could see it.

Mistake. Big Mistake.

Instead of letting me see it. It immediately sent the gif. Without my joke. Without context. Just sent this to a person:

The first thing this person was gonna see from me, was a cracked out raccoon Gif. I sent a follow up message that I had no other excuse other than my finger slipped.

Needless to say, he never responded. 

[thedatingmisadventures]

Current Status: Single and Skeptical

After all the drama, and more drama that crops up from old flames reaching out to ‘talk’, I haven’t gone to far into the dating pool again. I have installed Bumble and ‘Coffee and Beagle’ on my phone. I peruse through the people, just taking it slow. Throwing myself into the deep end and expecting to remain a float isn’t the best way to go about things. 

A good part of these will be me posting about old dates I had. Recently one of my longest loves, who recently attempted to contact me, got engaged so I am walking down memory lane. I may even post about dates that went well, but never went beyond a date. 

I am not sure about a lot of things, but at least now my hobbies are getting to the point of being maybe profitable. That would be nice. But that is a subject for another blog. Not this one. This one is about my misadventure while dating. Mainly just the things I discover people believe is acceptable for dates and things I find just ridiculous.

[thedatingmisadventures]

After Events

A little more than a year ago, I had embarked on this journey to try and fix my dating life. It didn’t work. I barely lasted 4 months of the 6 months I was suppose to do that entire task for. I was miserable. But misery loves company. I am a person who loves to put myself into weird situations. 

I feel the need to tell a couple more of my misadventures that happened last year. I doubt many people read this, but it would be cathartic to write. And I need to write more anyways, so bear with me as I work my way through another sordid tale of mine.

I dated a friend of a friend. Mistake, I know this now looking back. They were everything I wanted and yet nothing I needed. Funny how that works. I was immediately attracted to them. They were funny, laughed a lot, were into working out like I am, an intellectual, had a job, you know all the good things in life. We first went out for dinner. There was a sushi place I wanted to take them too. We ate, tried green tea mochi ice cream (I wasn’t a fan but they liked it), and left to some where more private to talk. Literally, all we did was talk. Talk about how they wanted to change their lives now that they were divorced, not be in a committed relationship with anyone, just go with the flow and try all the things they never got to. I told them how I worked every day to be a better person, who I had friends that were going places with their lives around me so I would always strive for my own dreams instead of helping other achieve theirs. It was great, everything I wanted and yet... I felt uneasy, as though I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. They made it clear they weren’t looking for anything serious and I didn’t want that with them - they weren’t stable mentally enough for me to want more than maybe a roll in the sheets.

We continued to text and go out on small dates, pizza, coffee and comics while playing Pokemon Go. We kissed. It was nice. Everything was slower paced, which I needed because I was protecting myself from the inevitable discontinuation of out fun.

 They made dinner, we had sex - it was mediocre due in part to them never having experience beyond their marriage. I left feeling like this was the end. We had been doing this dating thing for about four months or so. But we still had one big thing planned. They had never gone to Vegas and there is where everything went to fucking hell.

Now, I do mean it went to hell. I woke up the morning that we were planning on leaving only to discover some asshole decided to smash out my windows in order to get to the messenger bag I left in my passenger seat. My work laptop was saved by my Jiu Jitsu Gi - having been hidden underneath it. But I was completely devastated. I had plans to drive. I sent her a message explaining what had happened, trying to figure out other plans to get to Vegas. A rental or something. And instead of just letting me deal with my problem and solve our mutual one. They proceed to call me, over and over again, as I am filing police reports, talking to my insurance and trying to get my car into a repair shop. I sent them a text telling them I had to get my car into a shop before I even considered leaving because I had to go back to work when Vegas was all said and done.

Eventually they got the hint, focusing instead on figuring out a way to get us to Vegas while I took my car to the shop to get 2 of my windows replaced. 

I will say this now, I should have never gone. I should have taken that event as a sign that I wasn’t meant to go to Vegas. Not with them, not with their friends, not with everything else that was going on. And yet I went.

Three of her friends had joined us on the trip, getting their own rooms, We managed to get all five of us into a single car. It was an interesting trip. I learned that the three friends were planning on doing Coke while in Vegas. I was in a car, with drugs (I believe) in the car. And the driver nearly got us into an accident. I was mentally figuring that I wouldn’t be spending a whole lot of time with them. 

Now for me, Vegas is a place where I don’t have to put on a goddamn mask and be someone else. I do that at work and over time it wares thin. Pool, alcohol, sun massages, dancing and all the good stuff is my Vegas way. The three friends were strip club and blow. Whatever, do you boo. Just don’t get me involved. I don’t need a record. I nicely avoided getting one for a very long time, I don’t plan on having coke heads fuck that up for me.

Also, what does it say about a person who hangs out with people like that? I don’t know. When we get there, I get dropped off alongside the person I am dating. We check in and out room is huge. It’s awesome. I change and hit the pool. I needed to decompress.

Now before I continue this sordid tale, keep in mind that earlier in the month I had told them that they could invite anyone. Since we were not committed, they had other dating partners. I am not sure if there is a code of conduct for dating multiple people at once that states that you can have two of them in the same room at the same time - but let me throw this out there, probably not the best idea. 

Vegas is almost everything I wanted. I spent my days by the pool, walking the strip to a spa, being liquored up the entire time, gambling a little. And I see very little of them and their friends. Thank god because one came into a room and declared they just did a line of coke before coming to my room. I was unimpressed. Seriously, unimpressed. If you can’t have fun without being fucking high then there is something wrong in your brain and you should go see a doctor about it. But my dating partner was all about their drug antics and their new person. Whatever, I am self-sufficient enough to make friends anywhere so I spent most of my time orbiting the group and my new acquaintances.

Now my dating partner, until the last night was decent. I didn’t wake up at the crack of dawn to anything weird. It was all good. The disconnect came at the very end. Because if things are going to go wrong, it’s always towards the end. I spent some time with the entire group, but was ready towards 1am to turn in and just relax in my bed. A cab was caught, a bed was had. Until 3 am, when my dating partner and their other lover came into the room and proceeded to have sex while I was trying to sleep. No ‘Hey, can we have the room for a bit’, no nothing. Just sex. I wanted to get up and strangle someone, but I was too tired so I just closed my eyes and went back to sleep - it was over quick enough for me to do so. It’s Vegas, just shake my foot and tell me you need the room. I can go downstairs and play the slots, get boozed up. Anything other than waking to you two fucking. Seriously, rude.

The morning couldn’t come soon enough, because it was just gross and unattractive. I mean if their other partner was attractive, then maybe it would have lessen waking up to that sex session. It gets even worse when we get up and ready to leave. They decide, last minute, to leave me in the care of their friends to take me home while they stayed with their new Beau in Vegas. At that point, I was done. The entire trip was just me, spending time by myself, listening to their friends get high, listening to them fuck their new lover in the same room as me, and them just being rude all around. 

The ride home was marked only by a stop for food, where one of their friend’s got a convenient nose bleed. Maybe snorting coke is bad for you? Seriously, birds of a feather flock together. I have issues with drugs as it is, seeing my dating partner hang out with addicts, have their new beau be a ‘recovering’ addict, and them dying to do ‘everything’ they hadn’t before was enough for me to take a large step away from that shit show. 

When I got home, I didn’t message them and they didn’t message me. It was mutually understood I wanted nothing to do with that mess. I can easily forgive the fucking with me in the room, but I can’t forgive them involving me in their drug-scapade. 

I only recently ran into them. I was at my favorite cafe, working on my writing when they appeared before me - with that same Beau now turned committed partner.              ‘Hey, what brings you here?’

             ‘Uh, I come here often’

             ‘Oh...how are you?’

             ‘I’m well, but I really need to finish this’

Short and sweet. I was dismissive and truly didn’t want to engage. This coffee place is one I took them to, I told them that it was my favorite place to meet new dating partners when things go offline. The shock that I was there must have rattled their brain. OR maybe it was truly surprise, I am not sure. I hadn’t seen them for months. Nor had our mutual friends. After I told my tale to our mutual friends, my dating partner was removed from our circle of friends. We all have too many plans and goals int he works to invest time in someone self-destructing. If we were closer to them, then maybe but ultimately hard drugs were triggers for a good many of our circle. Thankfully, the relationships were that close, so it was easy to remove myself from their influence.

A learning experience is what I can chalk that up to. This partner was longer than most and ultimately stood as a reminder that what I think I want and what I actually need are two different things sometimes. After them, I got too wrapped up in discovering my Grandmother and Foster Mother had an aggressive form of cancer to date. Only recently did I venture down that path again. But that is a post for another time.

[thedatingmisadventures]

Turned 2?

Today my email informed me that this blog has turned 2 today. Surprising as that is, I am unsure as to if it is truly significant. Honestly, there are so many things that have happened that it is hard to fathom why I haven’t posted more on this site. Perhaps life got busy or I forgot. I don’t know which excuse fits more. But for now, I will just accept that this blog is 2. Maybe now I will post more in it. Though my dating life has become as barren as the Sahara in summer. 

[thedatingmisadventures]

4 Months

4 Months. I’ve been doing this for four months and it has been by far the worst months yet. Some of my dates I haven’t gotten the chance to add here, I have about 6 unwritten dates? All ended the same, I would text them then they would vanish. Oh well. But when I embarked on this, I figured that I would go on a couple of dates, get to know people and maybe make new connections. 

What really happened was a constant barrage of people seeking more from me than I was willing to give. I was inundated with messages of ‘Hello’ in all it’s variations or ‘You’re really attractive’ in all it’s clever word plays. It grew frustrating and depressing. 

The depression was the worst. It made me question if I was even worthy of a relationship. If I had value because none of the relationship panned out. Was I destined to be single? Is that a problem? Was I commitment phobic? Was there something wrong with me?

All these questions swirled about my head until they weighted so heavily upon my mind, that I simply couldn’t feel happy doing this any longer. I was happy being single. I truly was. I was travelling, I had written several books, My career was growing and my friendship were deeper than ever. These last four month I had placed all my goals on hold while I worked through all these different dating websites. 

I finally cracked yesterday. I couldn’t keep doing it. I just couldn’t. I canceled my subscription to Match.com, uninstalled Coffee and Beagle, Bumble, OKCupid and Tinder. I even ensured that all of my profiles were deactivated. I failed. I couldn’t keep doing this to six months while my mental health declined. I think I would rather be happy and single then working for a relationship that had no guarantee to be just as amazing as what I had being single. I have travel plans in the works that will ensure I have a full life. My goals, career and friends will have to take the place of a relationship for now. 

Thank you for following this journey, even though it was a short one. 

~L

[thedatingmisadventures]

6 Months - Round 2

This one I meet on OKCupid. We talked and it was going really well. I was actually excited to evolve beyond OkCupid. I am the type of person who talked personal safety to the max. When I start talking to people, I don’t tell them my full name. My name is unique enough that anyone with skills can find me on Facebook. And I don’t give out my phone number till at least the 5th date. By then I will have a decent idea as to who they are. So I use an app called KiK. I have a username and I give that to people. This prevents people from knowing my phone number and all that jazz.

So we evolved to the Kik messaging app. It still went well. We sent funny videos to each other, but nothing other than our faces. We talked about Harry Potter and it was great. I felt comfortable enough to meet him in real life. I felt safe enough to do that. So I picked a spot, a date and a time. They agreed and I was actually excited to see them. 

I got there and was early so I got my coffee and sat in the back patio, waiting. I thankfully brought a book, or else I would have noticed they was over ten minutes late. Not a big deal, but I did note it. When they arrived, they lingered in my line of sight. So I decided, since we had already been teasing each other, I teasingly told him that lingering in my line of sight wasn’t sitting down.

They sat down and the conversation seemed to pick up. I learned they hate coffee. 

     “Tastes like cat shit”

     ”And you know how cat shit taste like why?”

     ”I’ve had a weird and interesting life, but we won’t get into that now”

Learned that Harry Potter world wasn’t all that great but he had fun. I learned alot about him. I even learned that they like to talk about themselves. Alot. I could hardly get a word in. But when I did I tried to tease they, since they kept making weird comments about their low self-esteem, their former depression, their love of saying 

     “You’re so mean/You meany”  

I was taken back by how often they said that. Those comments were coupled by them fawning over me. 

    “You’re so pretty (multiple time). 

    You’re kind of smart. 

    I’m impressed how well you are getting Magic”

I realized that with texts the conversation is a forced back and forth. Hidden behind that was a person who was desperate to tell all of their story to whoever would listen. And I listen, sipping my coffee bemused by how they explained things. Things in their lives was a series of “bad days”. I know that well, but I am of the mindset of rising above my bad days to have better days in the future.

I pulled back on my teasing and humor. Instead being more clear in my wording. They brought two decks of Magic cards and was prepared to teach me all about the game. Being the nerd that I am, I welcomed learning things. The game is easy to understand, at least for me. I got the general idea of the lands and their meanings, was able to put the pieces together and we played. They were struck by the fact I was capable of learning the rules once and implementing them. They were even more surprised when I beat them. They were so surprised that they seemed almost disappointed that they were unable to actually say they let me win. I started to feel disjointed in all of this and I couldn’t place why.

As we packed up the cards, I knew what was coming and really didn’t want to follow this path. But the entire time we were on this date, I could see them itching to explain it. Desperate to tell me their story. So instead of suggesting they keep it for a later date, I leaned back in my chair and allowed them to continue down the path they had already set themselves upon. 

I sat there as they bitterly explain their disability, their handicap they were born with and how it effected their dating life. And it certainly did effect their dating life because they had allowed it to affect their mindset. 

     “Tell people you’re handicap and they think you’re a Steven Hawking       motherfucker who needs to be spoon fed applesauce. But I’m not. And they just leave.”

     “I already told you that I don’t care about your physical appearance.”

     “Yeah but people lie all the time.”

I still found them to be interesting, so I let them walk with me to the light. Everything was fine until they opened their mouth and commented on my attire.

    “Oh you’re wearing heels”

    “Yes, why?”

     “I was just noting you were almost as tall as me. I was glad to find that you were wearing heels”

    “Yeah, I wear heels on the first meeting to weed out those who have issues when I am taller than them”

We hugged and I left to my car. I still couldn’t place how I felt about this interaction, but I figured it would get better once we hung out more. I was looking forward to learning more about Magic and maybe making my own deck to beat them again. My phone went off. Not a minute after leaving, they messaged me asking what I thought about them. I was taken back. Not sure how it mattered, I sent them a message saying that I felt the same as I did before we met. 

I had things to do, so I put my phone and set out to do my chores. After a while, I got home and found another message from them, asking what I do for work. I was taken back. I sat there staring at the message, trying to figure out this weird feeling in my chest. I realized that on the date they spoke only about themselves. All the things they did and didn’t like, what they did that weekend, their plans and their family. I hadn’t really said anything. My profile explicitly said what I did for work. I had this weird realization that I knew what was happening. I’ve done this dance before. They were desperate. They wanted me to know their story was in a way of saying look ‘Look I have a problem, I am capable and look how fun I am. No, don’t look away.’ I told them that it was on my profile. I struggled to try and make sense of what was transpiring. So I told them that I was going to return to reading my book. 

I wanted to figure out why it mattered. Surely it shouldn’t matter that much. I spoke about it with my friends and came to realize that it was because I knew so much about them and was virtually unseen by them. They were desperate to please someone. To do whatever it took to have someone. I didn’t want that kind of power over a person. That wasn’t what a relationship was founded on. The more I spoke about it the more I started to piece together the entire picture. 

The depression comments, the gun comments, the desperation and the neediness was a recipe for disaster, especially if I was added to the mix. I pulled myself up from a squalor hell hole, took the one opportunity I was given and ran with it. I made myself something more. I expected the same from other. I put this from my mind and set about getting ready for an early day at work. 

1 am. I get a message on my from. From them apologizing if they offend me. I put my phone down and went to sleep, knowing this conversation was going to turn ugly if I started it now. Sleep was precious and they just intruded upon it. I keep my phone on at all times because my brother has a mental handicap and I need to be able to go help him if things go bad. 

When I woke up, I got to work and responded. They didn’t seem to understand how inappropriate it was to text someone at 1 am in the morning. They didn’t seem to understand why I was frustrated with them for texting at 1 am. Don’t text people at 1 am in the morning on a Sunday. Most people work in the morning. They sent message after message trying to fix my frustration, but I was at work. This was impeding my job. I told them to stop messaging me while I was at work.

After work they messaged, trying to talk. They asked me about how they wanted to fix things. How they didn’t know what I wanted. I was just frustrated. They asked what I wanted. I said nothing. It was a tulmulteous exchange where they went off about how when things got hard people just drop things and move on. Damn right, because the first couple months it’s suppose to be fun! It’s not suppose to get serious after 1 date. If it’s hard to get a person to understand the simply things like not texting at 1 am, which a person should know without being told, then that level of being inconsiderate is going to continue. The desperation is going to turn sour and more than likely it will end in the flames of ‘If you leave me, I’ll kill myself.’ I always respond ‘So be it’

[thedatingmisadventures]

6 Months - Round 1

So, in a desire to please my friends, I have gone a six month dating adventure. All of my friends are currently in relationships, so they feel that it is necessary for me to join them in this venture. I couldn’t care less. At least it gives me writing material. 

I have joined three specific relationship sites; Match, Tinder and OkCupid. This one I found on OK cupid. My rules for this venture is that when I feel comfortable I will meet them for coffee at a coffee shop in order to get a feel for them. I don’t make a check list, I don’t judge a person. I just go and see if we can have a conversation.

So this One I had been talking to for a week or two. They asked if we could meet up, I agreed. I figured that it was for the best afterall. The whole purpose of this was to get out there, go try and find more people to interact with. So I agreed, giving him a couple of choices and a time range. I had plans but I set them aside to try and get an idea of who this person was.

My mistake. They picked the very edge of my time range, which was fine, until I got there and waited for fifteen minutes for them. After that, I left. They never showed. I was left sitting there, wondering how much of my time I was willing to waste by sitting there. Was leaving after fifteen minutes and lingering for another five? Was I being too hard on the time thing? I was once told that ‘Time is where you put your treasures.’ I was putting my time into someone who was going to waste mine. Not only that, but if this was a first date and They already were late, not respecting my time. Maybe this is why I am single. I’m too particular and weird. Which is fine. My first date out of the first month of sifting.

Maybe my next date will be different. 

[thedatingmisadventures]

No One

I suppose I should write something here. But I can’t. For there is nothing to write. I am still single. Still trying, but I haven’t gone out on any dates recently. There was another who returned to the states for their classes. We tried to meet up, yet nothing came about of it. How could it? With classes on their schedule and on mine, it would seem that fate did not want us together. 

But of course, I am fine with that. I alone still, but I have found that the time alone is good for my soul. I want  for nothing right now. My job is steady, my hobbies are plenty and my heart it as peace. This is all I can ask for really. I can give myself ecstasy with my own hands and imagination. I think that is the best I can do for now. 

Love has always been this elusive thing for me. A checked past, a hard shell and a desperate need for affection make for a volatile mixture. I have tempered the flames of my old hates and pains. I have dismantled all of the old defense mechanisms so that innocent people don’t have to deal with them. So as I walk through my life, with or without a partner, I do so knowing that I love myself and for now that is all I can do. 

[thedatingmisadventures]

Hand Holding - A Must

A Club.

Downtown

That is where I met this one.

With a few drinks in my system, I found that I overcome my initial shyness and make quite a few friends. This person just happened to also be attractive and my type. So after successfully getting a couple of make out sessions in, I walked out of the club with their number and a promise of a first date. 

They thought I was joking about the whole dinner and a movie bit. But after I assured them that I was being honest, they finally gave into my initial request; they had to pick the movie.

Their choice? Insidious 3. A horror movie. Which for me, was a perfect choice because it saved me from completely nerding out. But it also made it hard for me to not laugh during the scary parts. Horror movies are funny to me. 

We met up at the diner, easy conversation passing between us as we tried to feel each other out. They admitted to being new to dating as much as I was, which made me feel less like a fish out of water.

But the highlight of the date came when we took a walk before the movie. Without hesitation they reached out and took my hand. I didn’t say much, but I was struck by the fact no one else had done such a thing. This person wasn’t ashamed to be seen with me or was actually okay with being seen connected with me. How sad is that? That I am so used to being seen as just a friend, as nothing more than a passing fancy or a dalliance that I forgot what it was like to feel wanted. They made me feel like my affection was wanted, that I was worth more than being a simple friend with and that broke my fragile little heart.

Not because I fell in love with them because holding their hand held more meaning than the good night kiss we shared. It held more significance than the quick caresses we swapped in the movie theater, the laughs we shared at the dinner or the hot make out session we ended the night on. 

While we may end up just being friends, since there seem to be a wide gap in interests, I will add ‘Hand Holding’ in the must do section of dating. I want to seen as worthy to be attached romantically to the person I am on a date with. I forgot what it was like to have someone who actually wants to be with me. So often I find myself entangled with those who just want me for sex. All to often actually. Sex before intimacy. Lust before feelings. All too soon, I walked away leaving small pieces of myself in the beds of those I thought wanted more. 

Tonight I got to bed, with thoughts of feeling wanted. 

[thedatingmisadventures]

Texting Perfection

Tinder. 

That is where I met this one. 

Honestly, dating it is a skill that people must learn through trial and error. For me, I didn’t date much in high school and college was a nightmare of exams, homework and self-discovery. So here I am, a 25 year old professional trying to figure out just how to get this whole dating thing right. 

I’m on OkCupid, Tinder, and Plenty of Fish all in the hopes of getting some kind of idea what I am looking for in a partner. So for my own sake I’ve decided to blog about all my adventures down the rabbit hole called ‘Dating’.

Lets call them Sonny. Sonny was a person I swiped right one. I did my classic opening line, a nerdy question that actually get wide range of responses. We enter a rather fun and humorous conversation that leads up down the classic path of Tinder to Text to Coffee. 

I should have known the turn things were going to take when a half an hour before we are suppose to meet, I get a text asking if I’m okay with them smoking a bowl before seeing me. Since a good percentage of my friends and family smoke weed, I said it was cool. I even playfully asked if they could maintain a conversation while high. It was an affirmative. 

For the most part they maintained, but I was struck by one ungodly fact; They was the splitting image of my most recent ex. While I sat there drinking this overly sweet milk with a splash of coffee drink, they began to talk and act exactly the way my ex did. The speech pattern, the vernacular, the hand gestures and the overarching mannerisms. The exact same mannerism my ex had while being high as well. I was put off. I hated that I was, because they seemed nice and our texts conversations suggested they were engaging and fun. But before me sat a different person. If it was because of the strain the smoked or if that is just the way they are while high, I couldn’t tell. I tried to overcome it and I almost did until they showed just how much like my ex they were. They had the same overtly judgmental attitude. They outright told me that my idea of trying skiing, even though I snowboard, was stupid and that I had to pick on. I laughed it off, while internally getting that itch under my skin.

Anyone who has ever been in a controlling, emotionally abusive relationship knows this itch. Its the one that makes you want to lash out because they are doing it all over again. Here is a person trying to control your life again and you refuse to let it happen. But you maintain. You plaster on a smile and let them know that you can do whatever you want in your life. At least that is what I told him. I told them that I could do whatever I pleased, regardless of some kind of unwritten social rule that says I can either ski or snowboard, not both. 

As the date started to draw to a conclusion, since they had work soon, I asked a question I needed to know. Why did they, as a nerd, watch the Star War movies in Story Line order instead of release order? Their response was because they thought that 1-3 were better overall than the first movies. With that and a hug, we parted ways under the stipulations we would text later about what my Comic Con outfit should be since I didn’t have any ideas. 

Once there was distance and time between us, I struggled to figure out how to let them know that I wasn’t interested in anything more than a friendship. I still haven’t found a way to do so. I will. Hopefully...