ship(s): mainly riley/zac (100% platonic) w/ background zacaraya and rucas
word count: 7,578 (!!!!!!!)
summary: the universe is capable of more then riley matthews and zac friar truly understand, and maybe that’s the beauty of it all.
notes: ok so this is an au within an au, in this universe, riley is a runaway who ends up crashing with zac friar and they immediately bond and YEAH i don’t want to give away too much of what happens, but it’s a delinquent fic, just with a lil twist, it’s a mess and also long af but enjoy!!!
Zac’s eyes were heavy with sleep as he slogged up the steps of his apartment building. He would have entered his apartment building just like any other night if he hadn’t heard a voice muttering a curse word. Knitting his eyebrows together, he looked around briefly before his eyes fell on a girl.
She was sitting the stairs, a backpack tucked under her legs, a cigarette between her lips and tears etched into the corners of her eyes. He had never seen her before and it didn’t take long for him to figure out that she probably didn’t live around here. He hadn’t seen her before and he had lived in this apartment for almost a year, not that she couldn’t be a new tenant, or live in the surrounding area, but there was something about her that told him that she didn’t live here.
“Hey.” The word was out of his mouth before he could stop it. He wanted to go upstairs and pass out after eating the leftover pizza in his fridge, but he also felt like he needed to talk to this girl, god knows why.
Her head snapped up and her eyes found his face instantly. The tears were much more prominent once he got a good look at her, her eyes were red, and her face was pale and she looked like she hadn’t eaten a good meal in a while. She didn’t look like she was any older than sixteen, and there was a sinking feeling in his stomach when he realized the reality of her situation.
“Sorry, I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to be here, I’ll leave.” She said, putting out her cigarette and grabbing her bag from the ground. He knew he might regret the next words out of his mouth, but he really had no idea where this girl would end up if he let her walk away from him.
“No, that’s not what I -” She looked at him, her eyes wide and her eyes raised with confusion. “Fuck. I mean. Do you want to come inside?” Her mouth fell open in surprise and he mentally cursed himself for sounding like such a creep when really he just was trying to do something nice. “That came out totally wrong, just, it’s almost dark. It’s getting pretty cold out. You don’t want to be wandering around the streets.”
Her eyes fell the ground and she nervously cleared her throat before looking back up at him. They stared at each other for a moment and he could see the thoughts in her eyes. She wanted to run away and not say yes, but he also saw the defeat and the exhaustion and the hunger and with a small sigh and sad smile, she nodded her head.
Wordlessly he lead her up the stairs to his apartment, unlocking the door and letting her step in before him. She looked nervous, her hand was gripping the strap of her backpack and her eyes were wide and flicking around his apartment, trying to look at as many things as humanly possible. Stepping around her, he walked into the living room, inviting her to follow him, which she did.
Zac took note of her actions, she was timid, unsure of herself and honestly, it kind of broke his heart a little bit. She looked uncomfortable in this new surrounding and Zac could tell that she didn’t trust him, but he also saw a light flush in her cheeks and her hands had stopped shaking like they were earlier, and he was happy to have brought her some place warm, even if it wasn’t for that long.
“I’m Zac, by the way.” He says, holding his hand out in greeting. She stares at his hand and then at him, a soft smile on her face. She hesitantly takes his hand and shakes it softly, dropping it after a moment.
“Riley.” Is all she offers him, and he nods at her.
“Alright, Riley, nice to meet you. Listen, I know that I probably freaked you out earlier, but I just got the feeling that you needed a place to crash.” She looks away from him and trains her eyes to the floor, but he can see the way she bites her lip and brushes her hair behind her ear.
“I did momentarily think you were a murderer, but then I figured that if I’m going to be murdered, might as well be murdered in a warm apartment rather than on the streets.” Zac doesn’t know whether or not to laugh, but he lets out a nervous chuckle, and she merely shakes her head slightly.
“Well, Riley. I can promise you that I’m not a murderer, although trust me, sometimes I’ve considered it, but that’s only when my little brother is being a dick.” Her mouth falls open slightly, but she laughs breathily, rolling her eyes. “Look, I have an extra bedroom, you’re welcome to sleep in there tonight. I’m not trying to say I know what you’re going through, but everyone deserves a warm bed to sleep in at night.”
She doesn’t say anything in response, but she visibly relaxes and gives him a shy smile.
“Now, I was gonna heat up some pizza, do you want some?” He raises his eyebrow and her smile grows.
“I’d love some.”
----
The next morning when Zac awakes, he fully expects Riley to be gone. She hadn’t said much to him when they had eaten the pizza the night before. He hadn’t asked her much, not wanting to freak her out, so their conversation had been pretty surface level and mainly about him. So when he stumbles out of his room, he’s surprised to find the extra room door still closed and her shoes are still by the front door. Poor kid probably hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in weeks.
Grabbing a quick breakfast from the kitchen, he momentarily considers waking her before he leaves for work, but he really doesn’t want to disturb her, so instead he writes her a quick note. He doesn’t know what compels him to do so, or why he doesn’t want her to be on the street by herself. Zac isn’t one to open up and openly care about too many people, the only real friends he has in his life are his brother and his girlfriend, but there was just something about Riley that told him that she was someone he needed in his life.
Riley -
I have to work all day, but you’re welcome to stay here. There’s plenty of food, so help yourself. If you decide to leave, then I hope you got a good night’s sleep, but if you decide to stay, I’ll see you later.
Zac.
Pleased with his note, he sticks it to the door of his extra bedroom, grabs his jacket and is out the door.
----
When Riley awakes, it takes her a moment to remember where she is, why she’s in a warm bed and not in a bus station, or in a doorway using her sweatshirt as a jacket. She thinks back to the last twelve hours, meeting Zac and being brought into his apartment. For some reason, she hadn’t been scared when some strange guy had offered his bed to her, in fact, there was something deep inside of her that told her the minute they met that he was someone she could trust.
However, she needed to get out of here. Grabbing all of her stuff, she cursed when she saw the time on her phone. It was much later then she had intended to sleep, even though the 12+ hours had done her body well. Quickly slipping on her hoodie, she opens the door of the bedroom, surprised when she finds a note stuck to it. She had assumed that Zac’s hospitality had been a one night only type of thing and he would be expecting her to be gone when he returned, but the note told her the opposite.
There was still a very small part of her that was telling her to leave, why she should stay, burden him when he certainly didn’t need it. She hardly wanted anyone to feel responsible for her, no one needed to fix her, she had done perfectly well on her own for the last couple of weeks. But the much larger part of her was telling her to stay, where would she go if she left?
She couldn’t go home, home didn’t exist anymore.
----
When Zac returned home that night, he felt a pleasant surprise when he saw Riley sitting on his couch. Despite his note, there was a part of him that thought she might leave. He took a moment to study her, she was wearing the same clothes as the night before, her long brown hair now pulled into a ponytail, which she was twirling around her finger.
“Hey.” He said, pulling her attention away from the book that was in her hands, she smiled at him nervously, fiddling with her hands.
“Oh, hey.” She stood from the couch, the book she was reading in her hand. Zac took note of what it was, one of his favorites. “Um, thanks for letting me stay, I didn’t know if the offer was just for today or what, but I can leave now if you want.” She rambles nervously and Zac can see her shift from one foot to the other, her bottom lip catching in her teeth.
“Riley, honestly, you can stay here as long as you want.” He says honestly. He had thought about it basically all day while he had been at work. “I’ve been looking for a roommate and you look like you need a place to stay, this is a win win for us both.”
She smiles at him then, her eyes growing wide and bright. “Really?” She asks, almost in disbelief, he can’t help but chuckle slightly.
“Really, and don’t worry about paying rent money or anything, it’s all taken care of.” He says nonchalantly, taking a seat on the couch. She furrows her eyebrows and takes a seat down next to him, looking at him like he had three heads. “I’m not looking for money Riley, you’re looking for a place to stay and I’m offering that to you. All you have is a backpack, I’m not going to demand you start paying me so you can have a bed to sleep in and food to eat.” Her eyes softened and she smiled at him.
“Thank you.” They both sit in silence for a moment and Zac takes another look at the book that’s still sitting in her hand.
“That’s a good one, one of my favorites.” He comments, taping the cover. She blushes, almost embarrassed to be having caught reading it.
“Sorry, I saw it sitting on the shelf, very impressive collection by the way, and it was my favorite in my freshman english class and I wanted to revisit it.” She says, staring at the book with a small smile on her face.
“You’re welcome to read any of them, my book collection is probably my most prized possession. My only necessity when I was looking for an apartment was that it had to have enough room for my books.” They both laugh, and Zac feels like he’s talking to someone that finally understands his language. “Riley, can I ask you something?”
She stiffens, looking at him nervously, her eyes growing wide. Nevertheless, she nods, fiddling with her hands.
“How old are you?” There’s one, two, three beats of silence between them, Riley looks up from her lap and stares in front of her, her eyes looking far off and cloudy.
“Sixteen.” Her voice is so quiet, Zac almost doesn’t hear her, and while that’s exactly how old he had thought she was, the information still makes his heart drop. “I ran away.” Her voice gets even quieter, not that Zac thought that was possible, and he can practically hear the shakiness in her words.
“How long ago?” The question is out of his mouth before he can stop it and she merely licks her lips nervously and looks at the ground.
“Three weeks ago.” She gulps and he feels his stomach twist. “Zac, please don’t make me go back, please let me stay here.” There is a small voice in Zac’s head that’s telling him what he should do, but fuck that small voice. He’s never listened to the rules and fuck, he’s never heard someone so fucking sad before.
“Like I said, you can stay here as long as you want.” He smiles softly at her, touching her shoulder and giving it an encouraging squeeze. She smiles again, and while it doesn’t quite reach her eyes, she still laughs when he suggests pizza for dinner again.
And when they retire to their own rooms at the end of the night, he knows that she’ll be there in the morning.
----
The next few weeks they fall into a routine, Zac wakes up first in the morning, makes breakfast and leaves some for Riley before leaving for work. She spends the day doing whatever it is that she does, and always has dinner on the table when he comes home in the evening. It works. Sometimes she’s up when he is and they eat together, chatting mindlessly about books or his job, and other times, he’ll be meeting Maya after work and won’t get home until she’s already in bed. But it all still works.
Zac’s pretty sure she’s the best friend he’s ever had.
He learns a lot about her in those few weeks, he learns that purple is her favorite color, that no matter what nasa says, she will always believe that pluto is a planet. She tells him about the hamster she had when she was a kid, and that she’s always wanted a dog, but she wasn’t allowed to have one because of her apartment. He learns almost everything about her besides what led her to run away in the first place.
And he tells her things too. He tells her about his brother and all the trouble they’ve gotten themselves into over the years. He tells her about all about Maya, and he even tells her that he thinks her and Maya would get along really well. He tells her about his favorite books and they bond over their mutual love for government conspiracy theories and even spend an entire weekend marathoning The X Files.
It’s odd, how easy they fell into place like this. It almost feels like Zac has known her forever. They make each other laugh, they understand each other’s likes and dislikes. They can talk for hours, about anything and everything.
Everything just, works.
----
After living with Zac for almost three whole weeks, Riley feels a sense of wholeness that she hasn’t felt in a really long time. Almost every single day she wakes up to text messages from Farkle and Isadora asking her where she is and when she’s coming home and every time she thinks about going back there, she wants to be sick. It’s not that she doesn’t miss her friends, it’s that, that place never felt like home and her memories of that place, of that town and that house are empty and cold and here with Zac, she’s warm and whole.
And god, she finally feels like she’s home.
One afternoon, she’s in her room, it still feels weird to call her own room and not the guest room, but Zac helped her decorate it and she has a few items that make it feel more like her own, when she hears the front door open. She momentarily doesn’t think anything of it, but then she freezes because, Zac isn’t going to be home until late because he’s hanging out with Maya, and he didn’t mention that anyone was coming over.
She goes through her options quickly, she hears the intruder in the kitchen, going through the fridge, and she wonders if she should just stay here until they leave, or go out and face them. After giving herself a pep talk, she grabs the nearest, weapon like item, which happens to be a book, and quietly exits her room and makes her way to the kitchen.
She can see the figure examining something that’s on the fridge door and she can hear her heart beating erratically in her chest and she knows that she’s going to have to smoke more than one cigarette when she’s done with this. But before she can make any kind of move, the fridge door closes and the stranger screams when he sees her. The book flies from her hand before she can control it and almost hits the stranger in the face, but he ducks at the last minute.
“What the fuck!” He exclaims, his eyes wide as he stares at her. She gulps and fuck she probably should not have done that. Mainly because, she has a really strange feeling that this guy thinks she’s the intruder and also, this guy has to be one of the most attractive guys Riley has ever seen in her entire life. “Who the fuck are you?” He asks, his voice still loud and demanding.
“I’m Riley who the fuck are you?” She counters back, refusing to back down. He might have had a loud voice, but she fucking lived here here.
“Are you fucking Zac or something because he’s got a girlfriend and trust me, she will kill you and I won’t stop her.” Riley nearly laughs because the idea of doing anything with Zac is laughable. He’s basically the older brother that she never had at this point and she sees that starry eyed look in his eyes when he talks about Maya and Riley is fairly certain that nothing could sway him away from her.
“Ew no, he’s basically like my brother, he’s been letting me crash here the last couple weeks, that’s all.” She says, partially wondering why she has to defend herself to this guy who still hasn’t told her who the fuck he is. “You still never answered my question, who are you, why do you have a key to get in here?”
“I’m Lucas, his actual brother.” That explains it. Zac had mentioned Lucas more than once, and had even told Riley a couple weeks ago that Lucas had a key, Riley just never expected to meet her roommate’s younger brother this way. “Zac didn’t tell me that he had a roommate.” Lucas comments and Riley nods.
“Well, I haven’t been here that long.” Riley shrugs, taking a seat at the counter, and Lucas sits in one of the seats opposite here. She takes a moment to study him and wow, he’s much more attractive than she imagined when Zac told her about his younger brother, his blonde hair is tucked into a baseball hat, light scruff covering his cheeks and chin, bright green eyes standing out against his facial features.
“So how old are you anyway, you don’t go to school around here do you?” Riley could see the confusion all over his face and she sighed softly.
“Sixteen, but I don’t really go to school anymore.” Lucas nodded, not elaborating on the topic, for which Riley was grateful for.
“How did you and my brother even meet?”
“Um, one night I was outside the building and he let me crash here, then he just told me I could stay.” She really doesn’t want to tell him that much, as comfortable as she feels, which surprises her even more considering they literally just met, she isn’t quite ready to tell him her life story.
“Let me guess, he’s already shit talked me.” Lucas says, a hint of sarcasm and teasing in his voice, and Riley laughs.
“Well, he did tell me that he’s considered murdering you a couple of times and that you were a bit of a dick, but you’re breaking into his apartment to steal his food, so maybe he has a point.” He laughs and Riley can’t help but smile.
“Is it really breaking in if I have a key?”
“Touche.”
She laughs and so does Lucas, and that wholeness returns, filling her up from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.
----
When Zac returns later that night, tiredness itching behind his eyes, he fully expects the apartment to be engulfed in darkness and Riley to have turned in for the night, he had learned very quickly that Riley wasn’t much of a night owl, unless she was caught up in a really good book. But, instead, when he opens the door at almost midnight, he sees Riley and his little brother lounging on the couch, smiles on both of their faces.
Closing the door behind him, he couldn’t help but smirk as they both jumped, looking to him.
“Zac!” Riley exclaims, that familiar flush coming to her face. He had also learned that Riley always seemed to get embarrassed about things that she had no reason to be embarrassed about. “What are you doing home already?”
“It’s almost midnight Riley, I’m surprised you’re still awake.” Zac teases, throwing her a wink. She nearly jumps off the couch and Lucas gives her a look that causes Zac to chuckle. It was hard not to admirable of Riley’s quirks, but Lucas seemed to already been swimming in the deep end.
“I didn’t realize that it had gotten that late, I guess we just lost track of time.” She says, throwing Lucas a small smile, which he returns. Zac gives both of them a knowing look and nods simply.
“Well, I’m glad that you two met on your own, saves me the trouble of having to introduce you.” He shrugs making his way into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. “It’s pretty late Luke, why don’t you just crash here, mom and dad won’t care.”
“Cool, thanks.” Lucas says from the other room and Zac hears Riley telling him goodnight. Zac smiles to himself, he knows he’s gonna get shit from Lucas later for not mentioning Riley earlier, or introducing them, because it ain’t hard to tell that his baby bro’s already got eyes for his roommate.
“Night Zac!” Riley calls down the hallway, making her way to her room before he can return the call.
The gesture is so natural that Zac forgets that it hasn’t always been this way.
----
(Riley ends up surprising Zac about a lot of things, like her extensive knowledge of conspiracy theories and there are some songs she can rap all the words too. Something that doesn’t surprise him though? When he comes home one day to find Riley and Lucas making out on the couch, not a care in the world.
Kids these day.)
----
It’s about a month after Riley moves in that Maya starts to ask Zac questions. He had made sure to mention his roommate to his girlfriend so she wouldn’t be suspicious, but so far the two had yet to meet. At first, Maya had been a tad worried when Zac had mentioned to her that there was a sixteen year old girl living in his apartment, but by the way Zac talked about her, it was clear that there was nothing going on between the two of them. Maya had learned to trust him, but she had a pretty nasty jealous streak and honestly? Zac had kind of refrained from introducing the two for Riley’s sake.
But one afternoon, him and Maya were sitting in a cafe down the street from his apartment, when she brought up Riley to him.
“So, when am I going to get to meet this mysterious roommate of yours. Lucas told me the other day that he had finally gotten a chance to meet her, so why haven’t I?” Her eyebrows are raised and she had a coffee cup to her lips, which were in a very familiar smirk.
“Did Lucas also tell you that they were making out on the couch the other night.” Maya gagged slightly, obviously Lucas had left that little nugget of information out. “And honestly, the reason I hadn’t introduced you two yet is because you’ve been so stressed about that big art project you have coming up and I’ve been working so much that we barely get any time to see each other, I guess I just wanted to keep you all for myself.” Maya gagged again at his words, but this time there was a small smirk on her face as well.
“You’re disgusting when you’re mushy sometimes, you know that?” She said with a small laugh setting her mug on the table and rolling her eyes at him. “But now that my project is over, and we can start spending more time together,” she moved around the table so she was standing in front of him, her arms around his neck and his wrapping around her waist. She leaned down and pressed her lips against his, smiling slightly, “I want to meet her.”
Zac simply nodded, really wanting Maya to kiss him against, but instead she merely nodded, dropping her arms from his neck and walked back to her seat, sending him a smirk. “So, can I meet her tonight?” Maya asks, shrugging her shoulders.
“Yeah, we can go right now, if you want?”
She nodded and two left the cafe and made their way back to Zac’s apartment. Zac was a little nervous, while he had told Riley a while back that he thought her and Maya would get along great, now that they were about to meet, he wasn’t so sure. Riley had become almost like family to him and Maya was one of the most important people in his life, and the idea of them not getting along wasn’t an idea he wanted to entertain.
Little did he know, that was the last thing he needed to worry about.
The minute that Maya and Zac entered the front door, Riley popped up from the couch where she was sitting with Lucas. Zac could see the smile on her face, and the light in her eyes and it was such a reversal from when he found her on the steps a month ago, he brought a smile to his face.
“Hi, you must be Maya. Zac talks about you all the time, I’m Riley.” Riley says, not even casting Zac a glance, her sole focus on Zac’s girlfriend, who has a small smile on her face. Zac recognizes that look, he’s caught it on his own face before, and he’d seen it on Lucas’ face every time his little brother looked her. It’s the look you got on your face when you realized Riley was someone you could trust.
“Nice to meet you Riley, I’m Maya.”
And just like that, Lucas and Zac were abandoned and Riley and Maya were talking like they were best friends who hadn’t seen each other in a long time. The sight made Zac smile, as he stood in the kitchen with Lucas. Lucas had a similar look on his face and Zac couldn’t help the bubble of warmth that swelled in his body.
That feeling of home.
----
After Riley and Maya meet, everything really seems to fall into place. Almost every single day, after Zac gets out of work, the four of them spend the evening together. Sometimes they watch movies, sometimes on Friday nights, they go to parties, but most of the time, they just hang out at Zac and Riley’s place, laughing too loudly and talking about everything under the sun. The atmosphere is warm and homey and all of them find comfort in each other.
Riley fit in with all of them like it was meant to be. To Zac she became the little sister he had never had, but had always secretly wanted. They spent late nights in the kitchen, eating ice cream out of the carton and talking about aliens and dogs and books and Zac can’t imagine a time when she wasn’t in his life. To Maya, she becomes her best friend, Maya confides this in him about two weeks after the two officially meet, they share everything and it’s not long before Zac is fairly certain that Maya likes Riley more than she likes him. And to Lucas, she becomes the only person that’s able to make him to smile and laugh and not be angry all the goddamn time, it’s a fucking miracle if you ask Zac, honestly.
Riley truly doesn’t know what she would do without any of them. She had spent far too long searching this universe for a place where she belonged and she finally felt like she had found it.
----
A couple days before Thanksgiving, Zac comes home to find the apartment abandoned, Riley nowhere in sight. No doubt she was probably off somewhere with Lucas or Maya, so he settled on the couch and waited for her to get back before they figured out what they were going to do for dinner. At this point, he knew they would be preparing for four instead of two, as his girlfriend and little brother were becoming permanent fixtures in his home.
It only took a couple of minutes before Riley was bursting through the door, a smile plastered on her face, her face flush from the cold wind outside and no doubt the excitement that seemed to be racing through her veins.
“Zac!” She screamed, seemingly unaware that he was much closer in hearing range than she originally thought. “Oh there you are.” Throwing her bag on the chair next to him, she stood in front of him, her face nearly bursting at the seams from her million watt smile. “I have big news!”
Zac merely chuckled, looking up at her, an amused smile on his face. “Oh yeah, what news is that? Pluto finally become a planet again.” her fist immediately made contact with his shoulder and he winced, narrowing his eyes at her.
“You know better then to joke about pluto in front of me.” She glared, gritting her teeth slightly, Riley took Pluto’s planetary status very, very seriously. “Actually, I finally got a job.” She said, the smile coming back to her face, her eyes bright with excitement.
“A job?” He didn’t mean to sound so surprised, but Riley hadn’t told him that she was looking for one, nor had he given her the impression that she needed to get one, he really didn’t need any help paying for the place.
“Yeah, I know that you said you didn’t need any help, but I’ve been living here for a while and I want to help you out a little bit. Also, I get really bored during the day and I could use something to keep me busy.” She said, plopping down on the couch next to him, giving him a small smile.
His heart melted slightly. Riley really was one of the best people Zac had met and he felt pretty damn grateful that he had her in his life.
“That’s great, Riles. Where’s the job?” She beamed, turning to look at him. He knew that look, she was really excited about something.
“That’s the best part, it’s at that really cool old bookstore right down the street. I was in there today and the owner was talking about how she might need to open the store up for fewer hours because she’s tired all the time, so I offered to work so she could take breaks but keep the store open and she hired me!” Zac was grinning, Riley was going that thing that she did sometimes where the more excited she got the faster and more loud her voice got.
“That’s so cool, do I get a special family discount?” He asked with a waggle of his eyebrows, and she snorted, shoving his shoulder lightly.
“No, sorry. I don’t think I could get anyone a discount, as close as you are to family I don’t think that counts. And not that he would want one, I don’t think I could get Lucas one either.”
“Aw shucks, well what’s the point of you having a job if I don’t get any benefits from it?” He teased, pouting at her. She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest, but he could see the amusement in her eyes.
“I could take all the money that I make and spend it all on Maya and Lucas and not give you any of it, how would that make you feel.” She teased him back, sticking her tongue out, causing him to laugh.
“That would make me very sad, you know that.” She smiled softly, biting her bottom lip lightly. “But seriously Riley, I’m happy for you, I’m happy you’re going to be doing something that makes you happy.”
“Thank you.” She said softly, her heart warming in her chest. It still felt strange to have someone caring so much about her, she wasn’t quite used to having someone like Zac in her life. But, it felt really good. She took a moment to bask in the moment, looking at the wall in front of her, sighing softly.
“What are you thinking about?” Zac asked quietly, following her eyes and looking at the same spot on the wall.
“Just thinking about how I have a lot to be thankful for this year.” She said with a slight smile, her eyes sparkling. “When I ran away a couple months ago, I had such a different idea of what was going to happen to me. I never expected to find a place like this, a place to call home. I never thought I would meet a friend like Maya, or someone who makes me feel the way that Lucas does. I never thought that I would find a family, and you’re a really big part of that. So, thank you, Zac.” Zac felt tears pricking the corner of his eyes and he wordlessly reached over to wrap his arms around Riley, feeling her fall into his embrace.
“You don’t have to thank me for a thing to Riles, you’ve done just as much for me as I have for you.” He whispered and she giggled lightly against his shoulder. They stayed like that for a few moments, enjoying the warmth and comfort of the other person before Riley lightly pulled away.
“I’m gonna go call Lucas, tell him the good news.” She said with a slight blush and giggle. Zac couldn’t help but smirk, Riley and his brother had only been a thing for a couple weeks now but they were pretty fucking smitten with each other and the whole thing brought Zac a lot of amusement.
Riley had initially been super nervous about the whole thing and the same day he had caught them making out on the couch, she had approached him timidly asking him if he would be weird if she dated his brother. Truthfully, the whole thing was a little weird at first, but he saw the look on Riley’s face when she told him how much she liked Lucas and how comfortable he made her feel and how safe she felt with him, and he saw the looks that Lucas gave her when she wasn’t looking and the way he would always move closer to her if he thought she was sad or anxious about something, and he knew nothing he said would stop that.
But now, he just liked making fun of them, mainly Lucas.
“Oh yeah, just tell him the good news, maybe you should tell him in person.” Zac said, a wiggle of his eyebrows causing Riley’s face to go bright red and she merely opened her mouth before closing it again. Wordlessly she leaves the room, embarrassment all over her face, Zac chuckling in her trail.
“Just use protection, please!” He called after a moment, he didn’t get a response, but he knew he had sufficiently embarrassed her.
A couple days later when the four of them were seated around the Hart dinner room table, Maya’s mom having invited them over for Thanksgiving, Zac caught Riley’s eye across the table, and smiled.
This is what felt right.
----
It didn’t take long for Thanksgiving to turn into Christmas and the atmosphere of the apartment shifted slightly. About a week into December, Riley and Zac went out and picked out a little christmas tree, and bought a small box of decorations to make the apartment a little more festive, but something about her demeanor told him that she wasn’t all that excited about the upcoming holiday.
He waits a little while to bring it up, mainly because he’s debating with himself whether or not he actually wants to talk about it. But, this is him and Riley’s first Christmas as roomies and he wants it to be a good one, because it was also his first Christmas with Maya and her’s with Lucas, so he was determined to have a joyful holiday dammit.
One night they’re both in the living room, he’s sitting on the floor attempting to untangle a string of lights and she’s watching him with a weird look in her eye.
“You alright?” Zac starts, afraid to overstep any boundaries. While they had lived together for a couple months now, Riley was still really shaky on talking too much about what her life was like before they met. She snaps out of whatever groove she was in and forcefully smiles at him.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just not really in the Christmas spirit I guess.” She shrugs nonchalantly, but Zac can see the look in her eyes and knows that there’s something more that she’s not telling him.
“Really? You sure there’s not more going on.” She stiffens at his words and he knows that he’s hit some kind of nerve. This has happened before, where his words have seemingly brought her back to a bad memory and she’ll stiffen up before building a wall around herself.
“I’ve just never been the biggest fan of Christmas.” Her voice is tight and he nods, putting down the string of lights and moving a little closer to her.
“You wanna talk about it?” He asks, pursing his lips slightly. He didn’t want to push her into talking about something she really didn’t want to talk about, but he also wanted her to know that she could talk to him about anything and he would try and be there for her.
“Just bad memories. I never really felt like I belonged with my family, so whenever Christmas rolled around, I just always felt a little pushed aside.” She shrugs again, tearing her gaze away from him and looking down at her hands. “But, I also know that things aren’t the same here.” She gives him a little smile, which he can’t help but return.
“You don’t talk that much about your life before we met, which is fine, you aren’t obligated to tell me anything, I just want you to know that I’m always here if you need someone to talk to.” He said, reaching over and squeezing her hand lightly.
“Thank you.” She whispers and the tone of her voice causes her heart to squeeze in his chest. “I still don’t think I’m ready, but I’ll tell you as soon as I am.”
“I’m determined to make this the best Christmas of your life, I really hope you know that.” He says, a smirk on his face as he stands and goes back to his Christmas lights. She giggles softly and shakes her head.
“Yeah we’ll see about that.” Her tone is amused and joking, but as she walks out of the living room and retires to her room, he smiles to himself.
He’s totally going to make this the best Christmas of her life.
----
On Christmas day, Maya and Lucas come over in the mid morning, finished with family obligations, which Zac had managed to get out of with the Friar parents, and ready to celebrate with their friends. Riley had been off all morning, but relaxed as soon as Lucas and Maya showed up, already seeming to be enjoying herself a little more.
The gang had determined that they weren’t going to spend much money on each other for gifts, all of them not having much money to begin with, but the excitement was still in air as they sat around the small tree in the living room to exchange gifts. Riley sat on the floor, in between Lucas’ legs as he sat on the couch, and Maya and Zac were curled up together on the arm chair and the atmosphere in the room was relaxed and homey, just the way they all liked it.
They laughed as all of them opened up each other’s gifts, Riley and Lucas both turning particularly beat red when they opened a bag from Zac that merely contained a box of condoms and a note that said “Have sex on my couch and I’ll kill you both.” But Zac then looked equally embarrassed when he opened a pink apron from Riley that read “kiss the cook” on it with red lip outlines all over it. He knew he shouldn’t have told her about how he wanted to learn how to bake.
When it was time for Riley to open her last present, she smiled softly when she saw that it from Zac, sending him a look across the room. She had already thought she received far too many gifts, Lucas had gotten her a journal with her name imprinted on it and Maya had gotten her a nice ballpoint pen, and other assorted small things that she really didn’t need.
As she ripped open the present, which was shaped exactly like a book, her mouth fell open slightly when she saw what was inside. There was a note resting on the top which she immediately read, trying her hardest not to try.
Riley,
Sometimes the best, and strongest families are the ones we discover all on our own. Blood might be thicker than water, but the choices we make are what bond us for life. Thank you for being my family.
Merry Christmas,
Zac.
As she closed the note in her hand, she looked at the book he had selected, Harry Potter, one of her favorites. The tears were fresh in her eyes and as she looked at him, she felt Lucas’ lips lightly kiss the top of her head, which brought her a sense of comfort.
“Thank you.” She whispered, holding up the note and giving him a watery smile.
“Anytime.” He said softly, giving her a small smile.
They moved on a moment after that, Maya throwing a balled up piece of wrapping paper at Lucas’ head and Riley squealing when Lucas tried to use her as a shield. This is what Christmas should feel like.
It should feel like laughter and warmth and home.
----
Later that night, after Maya had passed out in Zac’s bed, he wandered out onto the fire escape where he found Riley, a cigarette pressed between her lips. She gave him a small smile as he joined her, moving aside so he had room. He knew that she too had left Lucas asleep in her bed, another thing they had in common.
“You believe in soulmates?” She asked out of the blue, giving him a look out of the corner of her eye.
“Um, I don’t know. I don’t know if I believe in soulmates, per se. But I do think that there’s someone out there for everyone that is made for them, I guess.” He said with a non committal shrug.
“I think that there can be different kinds of soulmates, and not all soulmates are romantic.” She comments lightly, shrugging her shoulders. “I think we’re soulmates, in a way.”
“Really?” His interest in piqued and he straightens his spine, eyeing her carefully.
“Yeah, not romantic obviously, but I think we were destined to find each other. The universe wanted us to find each other, and help each other. It was destiny that I ended up on your stairs that day.” There’s a wistful smile on her face as she looks at him, and he can’t help but grin.
“You think the universe did this?” He questions, motioning between them.
“I think the universe can do a lot of things, it knows when to guide the right two people together.” She commented, looking up at the sky for a moment before meeting his gaze once more. “Face it Zac, the universe wanted us to find each other. You’re my platonic soulmate.” She said with a light laugh.
“Well, then I guess I have a lot to be thankful for in terms of the universe.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” She whispers. “Thank you, for today. You were right, it was definitely the best Christmas I’ve ever had. But I think I know why.”
“Oh yeah, why’s that?” He questions, raising his eyebrow.
“Because I was with my family.” He smiles at her and they allow a comfortable silence to fall over them as they stand there on the fire escape.
Just the two of them and the universe that brought them together. That brought them home.
ship(s): zacaraya, sort of some rilac
word count: 2,624
summary: josh comes around again right when zm start to get domestic and sets a little bump in the road.
notes: another cluster fuck by me, korry the clusterfuck maniac :)
Zac was in the middle of writing a note in Riley’s Vonnegut book, Slaughterhouse-Five, when he felt a cold foot slide across his chest. He didn’t move, he just kept his eyes on his book and smirked.
“Zac,” he set the pen down and continued reading, “Zac,” he turned a page, “Zachary,” he reread a paragraph. The foot started to move again, the big toe making circular motions on his chest. He reread the paragraph again. The foot slid here and there, creating figures on his bare chest. “Zac Friar.”
“Yes?” He moved the book away from his face to look at the blonde laying on the opposite side of the bed, facing him.
It was a lazy Saturday afternoon at Maya’s house after waking from a little nap. This whole set up isn’t the first time, they’ve been dating for almost half a year and they’ve gotten pretty domestic around each other. Personally Zac loved these moments. Just being with each other but doing their own thing was honestly one of the greatest moments. He could read and she’d work on some tattoo mockups – she had this neighbor downstairs that gave her little assignments every now and again, knowing that she wanted to be a tattooist once she graduated high school. (Maya actually designed Zac’s first tattoo.) There was just something special about these times that swelled his heart.
He was a hopeless romantic. A punk, but a hopeless romantic nonetheless.
“Pay attention to me.” She let her voice fill with traces of whining as she looked at him with a fake pout, her foot moving lower down her abdomen.
His smirk grew, knowing exactly what it was that she was implying. “Didn’t I pay attention to you for an hour about, eh, 3 hours ago?”
“Oh.” He foot stopped moving and she sat up straighter, “Are you saying that I don’t deserve more attention?” He shook his head put he put his book down and moved towards her.
“When does your mom get home?”
“Six.”
After that it didn’t take him long for his lips to find her neck and to get her moaning his name.
--
They were sitting on the couch at Topenga’s, taking up the whole three seater, with Maya laying and placing her feet on his lap. It was one of those rare days that they were sitting with Riley’s AP friends Isadora and Markle… or something like that. Zac never really tried to remember the kids name because he honestly didn’t care about the lanky kid that much. He stared at Zac funny all the time. The only thing that really made the afternoon enjoyable was watching Lucas glare and fidget in his seat every time Markle addressed Riley.
He could practically see steam coming out of his little brother’s ears.
Nobody outside the academically proven smart ones where talking. Occasionally Zac would tone in, curious of what they were talking about, but most of the time he’d just stare at Maya, watch her as she sketched. He loved how her brow would frown and her eyes would narrow as she started to work on the really minuet details. How her tongue would just barely peak between her lips as her concentration grew.
The best part, however, was when she’d finish and turn it for him to see. Sometimes it was a sketch of him, sometimes it was a hand, a cloud, the city around time. And every time her pieces took his breath away. He couldn’t believe he was dating someone so fucking talented.
This time when she showed him, it was of Riley talking to Isadora and Markle. He smiled before smacking his brother’s leg so he’d see as well. The hell that broke out after was truly a masterpiece of its own.
It wasn’t until hours after that moment that Zac would get a taste of his own medicine. It turns out that Josh was around and when they all decided to crash on Matthews’s place for a bit since her parents were out and someone needed to watch Auggie, he decided to take it upon himself to invite himself.
“Paybacks a bitch,” was the one thing Lucas muttered to him as Josh Matthews walked through the door, a smirk on his face.
All Zac wanted to do was punch it right off again.
Six months later and you’d think he wouldn’t be worried about Josh and Maya he wouldn’t be jealous and still fill complete and total hatred for Riley’s youngest uncle. But six months later and all of it was still there. It didn’t help any when Maya smiled and greeted him with a hug and acted all buddy-buddy with the guy.
--
The whole time they were there, Zac hardly spoke. Really the only person he spoke to was Auggie, the kid wouldn’t leave him alone and who was it for him to turn away the cutest kid he’s ever seen. Whenever Riley would pass him or if she wasn’t a part of the conversation currently happening in the apartment, she’d send him a knowing look. He fucking hated those knowing looks.
“Zac!” Auggie’s voice was loud, right next to his ear.
“Auggie!”
“Can you take me on a ride around the town on your motorcycle?” He was grinning at him, a large gap where his two front teeth used to be, hands held together begging him to say yes. “Please, please, please!”
But before he could answer, Josh cut in using an authoritative voice. “I don’t think Cory and Topanga would approve of that Auggs.”
“No, it’s okay! We’ve done it before!” The youngest of the group waved off his uncle, turning attention back to Zac, eyes wide and hopeful.
“What?!” Uncle Josh didn’t sound too happy. “You took him on a ride on your motorcycle? The fuck dude?”
Zac went from looking at Josh to Riley, who didn’t seem to approve of what just came out of his mouth, to Maya who’s expression he couldn’t really get a read on, back to Josh. “Um. I’m gonna go with a hardy yes.” Because there was no point for him to lie and honestly, pissing off Josh was always a plus in Zac’s book.
He watched as the other boy’s jaw clenched as he stared him down. He’s wondering if he was supposed to be intimidated, there was a large percentage of him assuming yes. It wasn’t long before Josh broke eye contact and looked at Maya. “This is the punk you dumped me for?” Huh, he sounded offended. Another plus to Zac. Josh turned to Riley, “Auggie’s fucking seven, he should be going off with some douche bag on a motorcycle! You let that happen?!”
Zac’s eyes flicked toward Riley. There was a deafening silence for a total of three seconds before Riley shot up from her chair and got into her uncle’s face. All Zac could do was share a look with Lucas that read fuck in many languages. She was by far the nicest of the group, quietest too, but as soon as someone said something she didn’t agree with she was a force to be reckoned with. Zac (or Lucas, he could never remember) once said something anti-feminist in a manner to her and they ended up running away with their tail between their legs.
“Zac isn’t a douche bag, Joshua!” Both Friar boys cringed at the full name, “He’s respectful of Auggie and only took him around the fucking block. He made sure Auggie was wearing a helmet and put him in front of him so he could make sure if anything happened Auggie wouldn’t get hurt! Zac has been nothing but a great influence to my little brother. He doesn’t swear in front of him, doesn’t talk about raggers in front of him, he’s helped Auggie with his homework for God’s sake! Where have you been? Oh that’s right! Partying with your frat brothers! Ever since you and Maya broke up you’ve hardly been around!” She was seething and honestly Zac was wondering how long she’s been wanting to go off on her Uncle Josh.
“Riles, I –“
“Don’t. You don’t live far from us, you go to school here, you can make time for your nephew but you don’t. It was fine when you lived with Grandma and Grandpa in Philly but don’t try and act like you’re better than everyone else because your some college student who goes to NYU. You can leave.”
For a few seconds, he stood there, staring down at her. Then he glanced at Maya, who looked down at the floor, before grabbing his jacket and leaving.
Silence fell among the group, Riley moved back to her seat beside Lucas, curling into his side, Maya’s eyes didn’t lift from the ground, and Zac could practically feel how uncomfortable Auggie was. And as much as he hate Josh Matthews and thought he deserved everything he got, it didn’t mean he didn’t like the way he got in between the Matthews family. Eric the Senator might be Riley’s favorite uncle but Zac knew that Josh meant something to her, something important.
After a couple more minutes that felt almost like an hour, Lucas spoke up. “Hey, at least he knew you were a douche bag punk.”
Grabbing the pillow behind Auggie, Zac chucked it at his younger brother, “Shut up.” But all that did was set off a war between the two Friars, Zac using Auggie as a shield as Lucas started to retaliate.
--
That night Maya stayed over at his house but something was definitely off. He didn’t comment on it when they went to bed, but the next morning when there was still that off feeling. He thought about questioning it but Riley soon found her way into his room and stole his girlfriend before he could get a word out.
His eyes watched her as she let the brunette pull her out of the room, a small smile on her face. If there was anyone who could make Maya forget all her worries, it was Riley fucking Matthews.
Dropping his head into the pillow, his mind started to wonder. For the most part, he was pretty good at keeping his anxious thoughts at bay and not letting them get the better of him. He was good at pulling at the rational things of the word to keep himself from having a panic attack or thinking up worst case scenarios that would ultimately lead to him fucking everything up.
It was harder this time.
Right after Josh shows up, Maya starts acting off and as much as he doesn’t want to read into it, he is.
And he fucking hates himself for it.
--
A week goes by and the feeling is there, that over all vibe that something shifted in their relationship again. And not for the better. The once domestic moments have practically ended, she won’t let him stay the night, making up some excuse that he knows is complete bullshit and she’s keeping her distance. They still have sex, hold hands, kiss, but it’s like some guard went up and he doesn’t know what the fuck happened.
All he knows is that he wants to go to NYU and beat the shit out of Josh.
The shift, thankfully, isn’t enough to through off the group. Lucas doesn’t notice and Riley might, but if she does, she doesn’t make it known.
Another week goes by and it’s like this shift is weighing down on him, suffocating him. He was honestly happy for once, he thought maybe things were looking of him, but he feel s at any moment the whole thing will shatter and it’d be some fucked up dream he’s created. He’ll wake up and it’ll be like the last six months never happened and this whole time Maya’s still been with Josh and honestly, it gets to Zac so much that he ends up punching a hole through his wall.
“I thought that was something only Lucas did.” The voice makes him jump and he turns around to see Riley standing in his door way, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.
Dropping his hands, he shrugs, “Usually.” Moving his way to his bed he drops down and stares at the ceiling.
“She doesn’t know why either.” He doesn’t say anything but his brows frown together, “On why she’s acting this way. She doesn’t know. She loves you Zac, just give her some time.” He bit down on his bottom lip to stop himself from saying something stupid, knowing that Riley was right but his anxiety was playing it’s fucking tricks once again.
Riley stood there a bit longer before figuring he wasn’t going to say anything, or punch another wall, before she left. Zac didn’t move. Even after he could feel the bruise growing, the tingles move from his knuckles to his wrist up his arm. He just laid there, staring at his ceiling, trying to calm the thoughts that were telling him Riley was lying and that Maya found out that she didn’t really want him, that she made a mistake and all of this was about to crash and burn.
They were all screwed up and sometimes they screwed with each other.
--
He skipped school Monday, he stayed in his bed until ten before devoting the rest of his free time to playing video games. He couldn’t deal with the stress of whatever was happening with Maya at the moment and maybe with him not there she’d be able to figure out whatever the fuck it was that was going on with her.
He was two hours in when he heard his door open. He didn’t think much of it, Lucas could be skipping, his parents might (doubtful) have returned for a trip early, maybe Riley was coming over to scowled him for ditching them without a reason why – he did leave them without transport. But when a small blonde stood in front of his TV, he was shocked. He couldn’t even be mad when he felt his controller vibrate letting him know he had died.
“Why aren’t you at school, Hee Haa?” But honestly, he was at a loss for words. It’s been a month since he’s heard that nickname and it took him off guard. She walked towards him putting her hands on either side of his face and making him look up at her, “Why aren’t you at school?”
“Why aren’t you?” He shot back as soon as he could find his voice.
She smirked, took the controller out of his hand before crawling onto his lap. She said nothing as her lips found his neck and continued to say nothing for an hour, just letting her lips, her body, do all the talking.
He was making them lunch (or diner, he wasn’t sure) when she brought it up. “I’m sorry.” He looked over at her, one eyebrow raised, “The last month… I don’t know. I’m not sure what was really wrong but when I didn’t see you this weekend and then you didn’t show up at school…” she trailed off.
“I missed you too, Sunshine.” She shook her head but moved her way towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist, dropping a kiss on his back. He felt her move her lips against his skin, heard a small mumble, but he wasn’t quite sure what she said. Moving the current pot off the stove, he turned around and looked down at her, titling his head. “What was that?”
“I love you,” a small smile on her face.
Dropping a kiss on her lips he pulled back with a smile of his own, “I love you too Maya.”
zombie au: zac is the unofficial leader of the group, he has a semi-automatic gun with a silencer and plans with riley on how to get supplies, lucas is a more close combat fighter and he has a bat decked out with nails and spikes, maya is very Lara Croft with two hand guns with silencers, riley is very against killing anything unless it attacks her and only has a knife, riley is more of a supply collector than anything else.
supernatural au: the friars are apart of a long running hunters family line, same with maya (dad's side) who didnt know right away but picks it up and the friars run into maya first and they team up. zac obviously falls for her right away but he thinks there's something going on between lucas and maya. they later get a job that makes them run into riley and lucas falls hard and they end up getting hitched (they're in their early 20s) and he leaves zac and maya behind to start a family but something tragic happens to their kid and zm come back and all four team up.
future au: a different setting of how everything happens. zac moves to new york after he graduates and when lucas becomes a senior their parents die. lucas moves in with zac in ny and that's how he meets riley and maya, of course it doesn't take long before rucas start dating and eventually riley starts coming around the friar apartment a lot. riley and zac become really good friends and it isn't until months later that he meets maya (he's heard about her though of course), who is dating josh and has been for a while.
the dark twist au: when the friars are in texas they have a pretty decent life, still ignored by the parents unless they need something but otherwise it wasn't /bad/. they even had a little sister to dot over and shove in their parents face (they didn't want her to have the same treatment) but when she dies of cancer that's kind of when shit hits the fan. lucas's anger hits a very new level and it's very hard for him to control it and zac turns to drugs. eventually, after many in and out of rehab moments for zac and getting expelled from school for lucas, their parents decide to move to new york for a rehab center there. they say if zac can't get clean they'll make sure he can never see lucas again and if lucas gets expelled again they'll send him off to military school. when lucas meets riley, she helps him control his anger, something he didn't think would happen after his sister passed. it doesn't take long before she becomes his biggest confidant and she learns about zac and all their past and after a couple months she even meets him. zac doesn't meet maya a long while after, honestly she really doesn't even know about zac until half a year in because it's never riley's place to say anything and lucas wasn't ready to talk about that with maya until one day a subject they're talking about reminds lucas something about zac and he mentions him. she doesn't learn about the drug problems and loosing their sister until the night zac's supposed to come visit because he got an over night pass finally.
I just read your 'the night' fic. and it was amazing. Oh my lordy. It was well written and really well done.
anon you are seriously way too kind :’) when i wrote that fic i seriously didn’t think it was all that great so this feedback means the absolute world to me, thank you!
I LOVE THIS AU MORE THAN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!.Please do so much with this gift you've given the world!
AHHHH THANK YOU ANON!!!!! Your enthusiasm for this au makes us very very happy and we’re so thrilled that you’re loving what we’re doing here. Honestly when we first created this au we never thought it would be as popular as it is now, so we’re so happy you’re loving it!
ship: rucas w/ background zm
word count: 2,376
summary: Riley hates the night time, but she really really loves Lucas, and that changes things.
notes: this is a #mess™that is kind of incoherent and probably is really bad but i really wanted to write something and this just kind of, happened. enjoy!!!
Riley absolutely hated night time.
Ok, she didn’t always hate it. The part of the night time when she was with her friends, running around the city and acting like a dumb teenager who was going to live forever, that she loved. But the minute she was alone, she dreaded that time of night. She knew she sounded a little dramatic, and while usually Riley was one for the dramatics, there was truly nothing she hated more than night time.
She hated the stillness of it, she hated the quiet, the darkness, the loneliness of it. While some revelled in it, she feared it. Because the moment she was left alone in the still, quiet night, her nightmares crept up on her. While most people had nightmares while they were asleep, hers haunted her when she was awake, and left alone with her own thoughts. Her thoughts were her nightmare, always trying to scare her and creeping up on her when she didn’t want them.
Because of this, Riley’s sleep schedule had been fucked years ago, she hardly slept at night, getting all her sleep in the late afternoons and very early morning as the sun was creeping up over the horizon. Her parents didn’t even notice, or if they did, they didn’t care, and she was able to fake it enough at school.
She was her own nightmare, and night time was when she was haunted.
----
The smoking helps her calm her thoughts and personal nightmares. For whatever reason, nothing calms her down better than sticking a cigarette between her lips and feeling the smoke fill her body. She knows it’s a bad habit, and that she shouldn’t be dependent on them, but god, she hates the way she feels when she isn’t in control of her own feelings and her own thoughts and smoking, as awful as it is, makes her feel like she’s in control.
Most of the time, she channels all her bad thoughts and feelings into her writing, filling up journals and journals of words, sometimes they make sense and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes she rereads them and they make her feel better and sometimes, they make her feel like the walls are closing in and there’s something wrong with her. Her journals are the only ones who know all her deepest, darkest fears and thoughts, and she wants to keep it that way.
It feels strange to keep them from Maya, her best friend and her only real confidant for the last seven years of her life. But showing her journals to Maya means she has to admit how broken she truly is, and how sometimes she feels like she isn’t good enough for anyone or anything and how that’s why she pours so much into her school work, hoping that maybe, just maybe, if she gets honor roll, her parents will tell her how great she did. And she’s not ready to show that side of her to Maya, because that side of her, scares even herself.
She doesn’t want to burden anyone with her fears. So instead she drowns them in journal pages and cigarette smoke.
----
One Friday night, they go to some party and Maya and Zac get a little too tipsy, both of them tripping over each other and laughing too loudly, and the night air is whipping around them all as they walk aimlessly with no real destination in mind. Lucas’ hand around hers and his jacket is hanging limply on her shoulders and she never wants this night to end. She feels full and happy. They’ve stopped on some street corner, Zac and Maya arguing about something, neither one of them making much sense, while Lucas is leaning against the streetlamp, his eyes intently on her as she smokes.
The worst thing about a habit feeding a secret, is that it doesn’t take long for it to become a dependency or a lifestyle.
She can feel Lucas’ eyes on her, even as she looks away, instead focusing on her drunk friends, but she feels the guilt rising up in her. There’s so much about her that she’s hidden from him, swallowed down like bitter bile when he opens up to her about his own life. It’s not that she doesn’t trust him, it’s that she does and she knows the minute she opens that door, all her deepest darkest secrets will come spilling out of her and suddenly he’ll be sucked into her darkness that she’s wanted to keep hidden from him for so long.
Blowing some of the smoke out of her nose, she flicks her eyes to his and gives him a small smile, which he returns, although his eyes are tight and she knows he can read her like an open book.
“I’m tireeeeeed.” Maya whines loudly, breaking the silence like a knife, Zac nods in agreement, catching Maya as she dramatically falls backwards against him. Riley giggles softly, glancing at Lucas who’s chuckling to himself.
“Let’s go home.” Zac declares, grabbing Maya and spinning her in the direction of the Friar apartment building. Luckily, they aren’t far from Lucas and Zac’s place and in minutes they’re all shuffling into the apartment, the air from outside having gotten noticeably chillier in the last fifteen minutes or so.
Zac and Maya slip off to his room, merely muttering goodnight to Lucas and Riley, both of them looking dead on their feet and no doubt going to be nursing matching hangovers in the morning. The next words out of her mouth surprise her, but they come tumbling out before she can stop them.
“Can I stay here tonight, please?” She almost whispers and Lucas’ previously tight eyes soften immediately, a small smile falling onto his lips.
“Of course you can, I wouldn’t want you to be anywhere else.” The words almost bring tears to her eyes, and god she almost hates herself for not doing this before. She knew that it was only a couple of days after her and Zac started dating that Maya was over here every night, but honestly, Riley had been terrified to do it.
It didn’t take long before she was wearing one of his sweatshirts and was being pulled into his chest, soft kisses being placed on top of her head.
“You were acting a little off tonight, is everything alright?” His voice was soft and comforting and she sighed softly. It amazed her how well he knew her, always able to read her mood, even when she was trying to hide it.
“Uh yeah, just a little tired, I guess.” The words felt forced coming out of her mouth, and Lucas caught onto her almost immediately.
“Riley, please don’t lie to me.” He wasn’t angry, she knew that much, in fact his voice was soft and sad, almost. She sat up slowly from the lying position that had been in, sitting cross legged near the foot of his bed, staring at the wall in front of her.
“Do you remember the night we started dating, I told you about why I smoked?” Her voice was soft and so quiet, she barely recognized as her own. She felt the bed shift underneath her and Lucas’ body was next to hers, so close she could almost hear his heartbeat.
“Yeah, I remember absolutely everything about that night.” She closed her eyes, tears forming in the corners. Every single thing that he said to her just reminded her of why she had kept this from him for so long. But even more strongly, it reminded her of why she couldn’t keep this from him anymore.
Fuck, she cared so much about him, that she didn’t want him to be a witness to her darkness. She didn’t want him to see how truly broken she was. But, she was selfish, and god, they had only been together a couple of months but she loved him and she was pretty sure he loved her too and she couldn’t hide herself from him anymore. She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to be afraid of her demons anymore.
“I can’t sleep at night, I haven’t been able to in a really long time. If I do sleep, it’s only for an hour, maybe two tops. That’s why I always take naps in the afternoon, and am usually still asleep at 7am, right before school starts.” Taking a deep breath, she looks at him briefly, and his eyes are soft and wide, encouraging her to continue. “I’m scared of the darkness, because it’s when all my fears come flooding to me. It’s why I hate being alone.
“I usually write all night long, but it’s not stories, it’s usually just a bunch of words that don’t make sense when you read them back. It’s the only thing I can do, if I don’t I just think, and I don’t like the thoughts that I have.”
She felt him stiffen next to her, and when she spared him a glance, his face was pale, and his eyes were glistening, but she knew it wasn’t from fear or pity, so she swallowed and continued.
“I’ve always thought that I wasn’t enough for people. My parents certainly don’t care all that much about me, considering they probably won’t even notice I’m not home tonight. The only person I’ve ever really had is Maya. That’s what scares me so much, is that the people that I have in my life will wake up one day and realize that they can do better than me, just like my parents did. My parents decided that Auggie was better than me, and while they’re probably write, it still hurts to have people you love give up on you.
“My insecurities have always been my worst enemy and it’s only gotten worse over the years and that’s what I think about at night. When I’m alone, I just fear that it’s always going to be that way. That maybe one day, Maya won’t climb in through my window, or be waiting for me outside of school. That maybe one day, you’ll be gone, or Zac will be gone. That you guys will all realize maybe you’re better off without me.”
The words all came spilling out of her mouth, and by the time she was finished, she felt like a weight had been lifted off of her chest. She sensed him about to open his mouth to say something, but cut him off before he could.
“I know that you’re going to say that you would never do that and I believe you absolutely, one hundred percent, but it doesn’t really stop me from being afraid.” The way her voice breaks at the end surprises herself, and before she can think of anything else to say, a sob escapes her lips and Lucas instantly pulls her against him, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his lips to the top of her head.
Lucas doesn’t say anything, and she doesn’t want him too, but his grip never falters and she feels safe as he holds her. She’s always known him to be more of a man of action than a man of words.
They stay that way for a long time, the only movement being when he laid them back into a more comfortable position, bringing them under the covers of his bed, and she cries out all the tears she has in her body. She uses the sleeves of the sweatshirt she’s wearing to wipe her eyes and she blushes slightly under his gaze.
“I’m a little embarrassed that I just cried so much.”
“You never have to be embarrassed around me.” He whispers, using his hand to brush away some of the tears she had missed with her sleeve.
“Thank you, for listening. For not feeling sorry for me, that’s the last thing I want is pity. Or for you to feel like you have some responsibility to fix me.” She said the last part with a slight eye roll, shaking her head softly.
“For me to fix you, you’d have to be broken in the first place.” He says with a small smile. “You can always tell me anything that’s going on your life and I’ll always be here to listen, if you need more than that, then say the word and I’ll do it. But if you just need me to listen, that’s what I’ll do too.”
She smiles lightly and god, Lucas thinks he’s some fuck up who’s always making mistakes, but she’s pretty sure he’s the most wonderful human being she’s ever known in her entire life. She’s about to open her mouth to say something, but she yawns instead, shivering as it runs through her body.
“We don’t have to try and sleep if you don’t want to, we can stay up as late as you want.”
“No, we should go to sleep.” She whispers, feeling much sleepier then she did just a few minutes ago. “I don’t want to make you stay awake with me. Besides I’m sleepy, and I think I might be able to fall asleep.”
“Are you sure?” She giggles, slapping his chest lightly with her hand.
“Yes, I’m sure. Thank you, though. You don’t have to do that.”
“I would do anything for you.” His voice is so soft and sincere, that it causes her entire face to break out into a smile, and her eyes falls close in content.
“I know.” She whispers against his chest, sleep feeling closer and closer by the second. “Goodnight, Lucas.” His lips touch her forehead and she grins against his skin.
“Goodnight, princess.”
----
The next morning, the sun woke her up, flooding in through Lucas’ window. Squinting, she looked at Lucas next to her, who was still sleeping, his face pressed against the top of her head, like he had fallen asleep kissing her. She smiled softly, taking a moment to soak in everything about this moment.
The moment would have lasted a lot longer if it hadn’t been for the loud crashing noise coming from the kitchen and the immediate “Zac!” coming from Maya, that had Lucas nearly jumping out of bed.
zombie au: zac is the unofficial leader of the group, he has a semi-automatic gun with a silencer and plans with riley on how to get supplies, lucas is a more close combat fighter and he has a bat decked out with nails and spikes, maya is very Lara Croft with two hand guns with silencers, riley is very against killing anything unless it attacks her and only has a knife, riley is more of a supply collector than anything else.
supernatural au: the friars are apart of a long running hunters family line, same with maya (dad's side) who didnt know right away but picks it up and the friars run into maya first and they team up. zac obviously falls for her right away but he thinks there's something going on between lucas and maya. they later get a job that makes them run into riley and lucas falls hard and they end up getting hitched (they're in their early 20s) and he leaves zac and maya behind to start a family but something tragic happens to their kid and zm come back and all four team up.
future au: a different setting of how everything happens. zac moves to new york after he graduates and when lucas becomes a senior their parents die. lucas moves in with zac in ny and that's how he meets riley and maya, of course it doesn't take long before rucas start dating and eventually riley starts coming around the friar apartment a lot. riley and zac become really good friends and it isn't until months later that he meets maya (he's heard about her though of course), who is dating josh and has been for a while.
the dark twist au: when the friars are in texas they have a pretty decent life, still ignored by the parents unless they need something but otherwise it wasn't /bad/. they even had a little sister to dot over and shove in their parents face (they didn't want her to have the same treatment) but when she dies of cancer that's kind of when shit hits the fan. lucas's anger hits a very new level and it's very hard for him to control it and zac turns to drugs. eventually, after many in and out of rehab moments for zac and getting expelled from school for lucas, their parents decide to move to new york for a rehab center there. they say if zac can't get clean they'll make sure he can never see lucas again and if lucas gets expelled again they'll send him off to military school. when lucas meets riley, she helps him control his anger, something he didn't think would happen after his sister passed. it doesn't take long before she becomes his biggest confidant and she learns about zac and all their past and after a couple months she even meets him. zac doesn't meet maya a long while after, honestly she really doesn't even know about zac until half a year in because it's never riley's place to say anything and lucas wasn't ready to talk about that with maya until one day a subject they're talking about reminds lucas something about zac and he mentions him. she doesn't learn about the drug problems and loosing their sister until the night zac's supposed to come visit because he got an over night pass finally.
janainaart
turnnoffyourmind
dailybridgerton
jbbartram-illu
andulkaphoto
annaxmalina
