PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@thedickmasteradam
WHATS UP LOSERS!!!
yeah its me, the original dick, first man, head exorcist yadayadayada not everyone all at once π
thought itd be kinda rad if I made a blog here heaven gets kinda boring when its not killing season, ya know?
anyway, ask me some fuckin questions!! IM BORED AF!!
β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«β«
danger tits: @adams-right-hand
ur guitar looks shiny, I want some *takes bite*
"HEY! FUCK OOFF. YOU STABBED ME!" He swings at Niffty clumsily, still woozy with blood loss. She cackles and hangs onto the guitar, taking a big chomp out of it. Eventually Adam gives up and whacks the instrument on the ground to get her to skitter off.
Don't ask questions, just put this on so you won't get stabbed again.
And don't tell Niffty you got it from her mom.
whu.. the fck is fine ok
How are you doing sir?
@lute-ask-blog
yo dangertits. im great ππ
What's up, one rib wonder?
not suuuper sure right now, im not gonna lie my heads fuckin g killing me and im pretty sure im bleeding out HAHAHA
Do/did you have a battle vest? The rock/metal kind, not like a steel and cavlar thing you would wear under your robe for actual battle
fcuk yeah i did! that things one of my faviirote fan items! almsot gave it to abel back in t he day but y'know, shit happened
Blegh, just found out one of my friends likes creed......gross.
grodie, man. your friends suck fu ckk oww shit sorry my vsions fucking blurry fucjk my life oh my FCKKING GOD SCREW YOU STUOPID LI TTLE STAB GREMILIM
Top five favorite bands???
uh. shit.
i mean, everyone likes the classics right? so like... AC/D- π¦Ή κ©
ughhh, woah- FUCK, MY FUCKING HEAD!! i cant think about this rgiht now, jesus
Message from the mod! Decided to scrap the comic piece and just explain through posts. Sorry for the long delay everyone!
fuuucckkk my head
what happened??!? jesus fucking christ
Hey...sooo
Sorry my daughter (Niffty) tried to use your hair for soup or whatever it was. I think she stole one of Alastor's voodoo books and thought it was one of his weird cannibal cookbooks. By the way, she kinda has a giant pet battle rat and a flying feather duster now.
WHAT
that thing has a fuckin MOM?!? well we all come from somewhere i guess amirite
soooo anyway! why are you telling me this?? look if its supposed to be a threat im kinda stuck in the lifeless VOID right now so. tough fuckin tits.
Eduardo the rat WILL find you, no matter where you are.
and your hair WILL be made into soup IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO
HAHAHAHA YEAH RIGHT like you could ever do that to ME!!
fuckfuckfuckfuck
*slowly appears behind you* stab stab
I have no idea where we are,
but stab stab
ohHHMY FUCKING GOD---
Heβs not here right now >:)
put dOWN. PUT DOWN THE KNIFE. HEY. IM FUCKING WARNING YOU YOU LITTLE BITCH. PUT THE KNIFE DOWN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW OR ILL- ILL- fuck idk what i can do here
*smacks into oblivion* stab stab stab stab stab stab stab
Adam tries to defend himself by swatting at her but fails and is stabbed several times is different places. "OW-OW, FUCK! STOP IT! FUCKKK!"
He falls to the ground, bleeding gold into the expanse of whiteness. A wing twitches before he goes unconscious.
Asking because other people are asking about your kids.....
I'm assuming Cain died eventually and obviously went to hell. Did he get hunted down during the first extermination? Or did that stupid ass mark keep that from happening?
Justice for Abel, am I right?
oh-ho dont get me started!! yeah, so, ever since cain found out extermination's even a thing the little bitch went into hiding! fucking loser!! fucking HATE that guy!! i disowned him by the way!!
ive been trying to find him for ages- well used to i guess- but lute always complained about it "WaStInG TiMe" or whatever. so fuck me right?!??
maybe now that im no longer stuck with heavens shitty rules i can somehow get the little sucker!! if i can get out of here. FUCK!!
If I can find you a way out of there, we're making rocks out of angelic steel and beating his ass with them so he can experience what he put his brother through!!!
wow, uh, youre certainly passionate
i bet youd get along GREAT with dangertits @adams-right-hand
One of my friends is convinced you're a Limp Bizkit fan and I need to know if they're wrong.
uh, fuck YEAH theyre wrong! euughhh. even i wouldnt stoop that low!!
Good, because I think they fucking blow ass!
youd be right about that one. GOD
One of my friends is convinced you're a Limp Bizkit fan and I need to know if they're wrong.
uh, fuck YEAH theyre wrong! euughhh. even i wouldnt stoop that low!!
Tool or Nine Inch Nails, which one do you like better?
im gonna go with tool, NIN is good but like too whiny- like COME ON SUCH A DOWNER MAN!! amirite?
plus tool has a dick logo so whats not to love
Asking because other people are asking about your kids.....
I'm assuming Cain died eventually and obviously went to hell. Did he get hunted down during the first extermination? Or did that stupid ass mark keep that from happening?
Justice for Abel, am I right?
oh-ho dont get me started!! yeah, so, ever since cain found out extermination's even a thing the little bitch went into hiding! fucking loser!! fucking HATE that guy!! i disowned him by the way!!
ive been trying to find him for ages- well used to i guess- but lute always complained about it "WaStInG TiMe" or whatever. so fuck me right?!??
maybe now that im no longer stuck with heavens shitty rules i can somehow get the little sucker!! if i can get out of here. FUCK!!
Hey...sooo
Sorry my daughter (Niffty) tried to use your hair for soup or whatever it was. I think she stole one of Alastor's voodoo books and thought it was one of his weird cannibal cookbooks. By the way, she kinda has a giant pet battle rat and a flying feather duster now.
WHAT
that thing has a fuckin MOM?!? well we all come from somewhere i guess amirite
soooo anyway! why are you telling me this?? look if its supposed to be a threat im kinda stuck in the lifeless VOID right now so. tough fuckin tits.
It wasn't a threat, dude.
oh.
...whhaatever
Sorry you're stuck in the void
tchhhh its fine. just boring AF, yknow?
cant even see my son or badass army except through a screen! fuckin unfair!! Im THE adam I deserve better than this!
Yeah, I know Abel misses you.
Also, I gotta ask, where the fuck is Seth?
oh my replacement son? fuck if i know! that shit was AGES ago
yknow thats actually funny i dont think i saw him in heaven before... huh.
What about your daughters? I know Cain and Abel have twin sisters. Are they part of the exorcists?
you know it! proud of em. taking after their dad π
..... Just out of curiosity, how many people actually ask about them? I know a few people who didn't know about the girls until I brought them up.
youre the first one to ask in a while! yeahh i dunno people just dont know them i guess
