Digital Sleuths: True Crime Communities and The Gabby Petito Case
Followers of true crime are attempting to solve murders themselves, piecing together clues as they appear - and I’m one of them. Why are we so keen to get involved? Are we genuinely helping, or just voyeurs who are doing more harm than good? When I joined an online sleuthing community I began to reflect more on these questions, and wanted to capture this moment in time where crime is being picked apart online.
Trigger warnings: domestic violence, murder, death, decomposition, rape, violence against women, fatphobia.
Gabby Petito was a 22 year old woman from the US who went missing during a road trip to the national parks with her fiancée, Brian Laundrie.
After camping together in Teton County, Wyoming, Brian appeared alone at his parents’ home in Florida on September 1st, driving Gabby’s van. Gabby was nowhere to be seen. Her parents asked him where she was to no avail, and they reported her missing on the 11th September after not hearing from her since the end of August. Brian’s parents hired a lawyer and the Laundries refused to speak with Gabby’s family, who resorted to official, public statements where they begged for information about their daughter.
On September 16th, they wrote: “Please, if you or your family have any decency left, please, tell us where Gabby is located… Tell us if we are even looking in the right place. All we want is for Gabby to come home. Please help us make that happen.”
On September 19th, searchers found a body matching her description at the last place Gabby and Brian camped.
***
Over the last few years, I’ve become so used to True Crime that watching unfolding stories in the news can feel like I’m just watching just another Netflix show. I don’t know if that says something terrible about me or the state of the world, but it feels like we’re both fascinated by, and numb to, the awful things that people do to one another.
I first heard about the Gabby Petito case on Instagram, where an influencer I follow shared a TikTok explaining the case in great detail, adding “Have you heard about the Gabby Petito case??” as a caption. The TikTok user was sometimes posting several updates a day, and after a few days, I had started checking her page regularly. Where was Gabby? Was she missing, or dead? Who had seen the couple during the road trip? How was Brian acting now?
Gabby’s own Instagram profile was still live: her follow-count increasing every hour the more people became aware of the case. Her Instagram profile was filled with glossy photos of her enjoying travelling, all exuding innocence and joy, and her and Brian had just started a Youtube channel to document their “van life” journey.
The couple’s internet presence, their idyllic life, Gabby’s mysterious disappearance, and Brian’s odd behaviour and silence, created a perfect storm that seemed to draw people to the story. Like thousands of others, I needed to know what had happened.
***
In between TikTok updates, I had begun to search the case on Twitter. On the 19th, Twitter users were avidly discussing news of the body that was found matching her description. Everyone was clamouring for information. Was it really her? Had she been murdered? Would Brian be arrested?
“How did you get the body coordinates?” One tweeted.
Another replied, “The Gabby Petito is Missing Discords. These people are better than the feds.”
I jumped on the tweet, replying to ask for more information, and soon enough, a handful of other tweets buzzed around mine asking for access. The Twitter user was kind enough to invite a few of us into the private Discord servers.
***
The first Discord was titled “Justice For Gabby”, its profile picture a photo of her in front of a mural of blue wings, as if she were an angel. The second was simply titled “Gabby Petito”, with a photo of her smiling.
I began to scroll through dozens of people gathering to piece together what happened to Gabby, with maps, timelines, quotes from lawyers, analysis of terrain, and text messages. I was hooked; and I joined in, speculating about the couple’s final movements together, staying up late to join the American crowd, waking up in the morning to updates that happened overnight. I felt like I had hacked into the behind-the-scenes of true crime internet sleuths, and felt like I had found my true home.
Discord lends itself to late nights. The website is a dark, moody grey, people’s contributions appearing in front of you in real time in white text, pushed up the page every few seconds by a new theory or speculation.
On the right, a panel of usernames showing who is currently online (with a green circle) or idle (with an orange crescent) starting with the mods (moderators) before those who had joined. It was the moderator’s job to watch the chat, occasionally interjecting with a reminder to be respectful or to keep to the designated topic. The topic varied depending on the room, with titles like “general discussion”, “theories and rumours”, and “off-topic-lounge.” Users were almost all anonymous, although many used a first name and set their profile picture as a cartoon character, drawing, or pet. I called myself “Thea”, and initially, due to my anxiety that I would be older than everyone else there, put up a picture of myself to show that I wasn’t middle aged. Quickly, I realised nobody else was giving their full identity away, and switched it for a picture of Frog Detective’s lobster cop.
I often listened to the voice chat, where a handful of sleuthers would discuss the latest developments. I would stay on mute with maybe 20 or 30 others, all listening in. We watched live streams, sometimes hosted by news presenters, other times simply a static camera placed at the latest scene of interest, with trees gently rustling and cars moving past. Watching those livestreams, I noticed that time seemed to move in an achingly sad way, with this young woman either missing or dead, while the sun continued to rise and set.
***
We all have enough on our plates without bringing so much sadness into our day. Why watch TV shows that are upsetting or frightening? Why dwell on it at all? What draws us to follow cases like this? And why do women in particular seem to follow true crime with such passion?
I’ve devoured Making a Murderer, The Keepers, The Staircase, American Crime Story: OJ Simpson, Unbelievable, The Devil Next Door, The Ted Bundy Tapes, Unsolved Mysteries, and Sophie: A Murder in West Cork, while I’ve read books by Jerome Buting, Marcia Clark, and Michelle McNamara - each of these either documentaries or dramatisations of abused and murdered women.
More recently, while the Gabby Petito story unfolded, we in the UK were still awaiting the sentencing of Sarah Everard’s rapist and killer. Walking home from her friend’s house in London, she had been abducted by a police officer, lured into his car before being kidnapped. In the same month, Sabina Nessa was murdered and her body left in a park when she walked five minutes from her house in London.
Like these two British women, Gabby should have been safe. She was travelling with her fiancée; the person she had chosen to spend the rest of her life with, the person she trusted. I couldn’t help thinking that Gabby Petito could have been me, or any one of my friends saving up to go travelling and see the world.
It has been suggested that women follow true crime because it’s a way of knowing and controlling the worst that can happen to us. Because really, there is nothing we can do to protect ourselves as we move about our lives. There isn’t anything we can say or do that will make an attacker have mercy on us. There isn’t a piece of clothing we can wear that will shield us from harm. There isn’t a weapon we can carry that will guarantee we keep our life. There isn’t a street, park, or house, where we can know we are 100% safe; in fact, statistically, it is our own home where we are most likely to be harmed. Maybe it makes sense that we would want every detail of the worst case scenario. It also makes sense that we would want to help; to pour our energy into finding Gabby, and solving the case, to find the closest thing to justice for this woman who could have been any of us.
***
It turned out that Brian and Gabby had been stopped by police on August 12th - a couple of weeks before her disappearance - after passers-by had reported a physical fight between them. On TikTok I watched the entire bodycam video, split into chunks with analysis, featuring the conversation between police and Brian, as well as footage of Gabby sobbing in the back of the police car, before they were forcibly separated for the night. Because Brian had scratches on his face, it was Gabby who was singled out as the potential abuser in this scenario, and Brian who was given a free hotel room to let the pair cool off.
On Discord, users discussed the 911 calls and what they saw in the body cam footage, including Brian’s body language, the police officer’s reactions, and how research into domestic violence could be applied to really understand what we were seeing.
The video has now been thoroughly deconstructed by domestic violence experts who have explained that Gabby’s distress next to Brian’s calm demeanour - he even laughs and fist bumps the officers - shows classic hallmarks of an abusive relationship. The abuser appears reasonable, while the victim has already been pushed to breaking point, and therefore appears “crazy” to any initial glance.
It’s easy to miss upon first viewing, but Gabby also tells the officers that Brian keeps trying to lock her out of the van, and that he has been undermining the project she’s working on. In addition, two of the initial 911 calls about their dispute describe Brian hitting Gabby, rather than the other way around.
The footage is haunting. It is awful to watch this young woman who was so full of life, become fragile, weeping, and placed in the hulking metal police car while she is questioned, only to be released again to a situation in which she later died.
***
There was nothing we could do to help the Gabby we saw in that video, but we could try and make things right - and we had reason to believe we could. In fact, it was social media that allowed Gabby’s body to be found. Detectives had been searching acres of land in Wyoming, a search that often felt hopeless as the vast landscape could take weeks or months to cover.
But after hearing about the case online, a couple who had filmed their travels with a GoPro attached to their vehicle scoured their footage, finding a few seconds of Gabby’s van parked up near the last campsite they were known to have visited. A body matching her description was found nearby.
Discord users analysed that van footage for weeks; although it was grainy, you could just make out the back door of the van being closed as the car approached. A flip flop - which they identified as one of Gabby’s from Instagram photos - lay on the ground behind it.
***
While we waited to be sure that this was indeed Gabby’s body, we discussed why it was hard to identify her, for example, whether her tattoos would still be visible. In the chat dedicated to “gruesome details” we analysed screenshots of helicopter footage to work out exactly where this body had been found in the grass, identifying a white square as the roof of the forensic equipment tent. Users circled dark patches of ground, compared different angled shots, and identified specific trees. We discussed body farms and decomposition, looked at the weather for the last few weeks, and the local wildlife, as well as whether she could have been wrapped in tarp, or what position she might have been lying in.
These were questions that were too insensitive to discuss in the regular chat; but by entering this space you came with the understanding that it might be difficult subject matter. I don’t know why, but this was where I spent the most of my time.
In the same morbid vein, a YouTuber visited the spot long after the body had been recovered, hoping to find the exact location. For the first time, we were able to see footage of the area that captures how incredibly beautiful it is. It’s a vast, flat and open area next to a shallow creek, where the grass is yellow and the trees are a luminous green, the bright blue sky overhead.
In the video, the YouTuber finds the spot where Gabby’s step father arranged a cross out of pebbles. A bunch of flowers lay there slowly curling and becoming straw-like; the scene far too peaceful and beautiful to comprehend that it was where she died. But as the video progresses, the YouTuber discovers the remains of a recent campfire. Immediately, he picks at the charcoal, exclaiming to his companion, “she was burned” in a horrible, gut-wrenching display of ignorance and insensitivity.
***
Was I just as bad as this YouTuber? When I really thought about it, the fact that I was almost consuming this case like a true crime documentary did feel perverse. When a TV show is released, people often say that it then belongs to the fans. Sometimes the Gabby Petito case felt like it belonged to the followers.
Disaster relief groups say that after an initial tragedy there is a “second disaster” - the teddy bears and flowers that arrive from well-wishers hoping to send comfort and support. Every time there is a hurricane, shooting, or flood, someone has to give away or dispose of all the cute, fluffy gifts, which often become rain-sodden or muddy where they lie.
Were we the second disaster? Were we flooding the case with unwanted sleuthing, saturating the conversations with our ignorance and morbid curiosity?
***
It wasn’t until the 21st September that the remains were confirmed as Gabby’s and the cause of death ruled as a homicide - with no further details. Everyone had hoped for the best, but were prepared for the worst. My heart sank the day I heard the news.
And then, after weeks of silence, Brian’s parents suddenly explained that their son had been missing for several days. Police began to search the Carlton Reserve, an enormous place in Florida not far from the Laundrie residence, where Brian had apparently gone camping on the 13th or 14th.
Sleuthers jumped at the task of helping to track down Brian. In the discord chats titled “sleuthing” and “theories and rumours”, users deconstructed Brian’s Instagram profile (including his eco-friendly stance to eat out of melon rinds rather than use plastic bowls) the places he had camped before and where he could be hiding now. A group listened to “scanners” or police radio, learning the police codes to translate what was happening. They were the first to know when a SWAT team was wrongly called to the Laundrie house by a member of the public apparently hoping to intimidate them. Others still watched flight paths of every plane going over the reserve, reporting anytime it looked like they were circling in; they ended up learning which were the private planes, which were new pilots learning difficult moves, and how often helicopters need to refuel.
In the news, there were regular “sightings” of Brian over multiple US states, and users compared photos constantly, zooming in on ear shapes, forearms, t-shirt colours and patterns.
Private jokes sprung up at every opportunity. Combining Brian’s “melon rind” manifesto with his bald head, and as a way to express their feelings about him, users started to refer to Brian as “melon head.” A key reporter on the case, whose first name was also Brian, was distinguished as “news daddy”, and references to him as simply “daddy” became commonplace.
Amongst these chats, one user called “cheese” could be seen spouting theories that law enforcement themselves had been involved in the murder, that Brian was also dead, or that they had both been killed as a ritual sacrifice by a cult from the Teton County area. Eventually, the mods made cheese their own chat, called “cheese’s corner.” I dropped in there a couple of times to find cheese passionately writing to bemused onlookers about the presence of aliens and worldwide conspiracies. “Cheese is actually insane,” I later saw other users say offhandedly, referring to their notoriety. Regardless of cheese’s wacky content, it warmed my heart that a harmless oddball could be respected and given their own designated space to share.
***
After the initial shock and sadness had passed, the discord server held 2.22 minutes of silence for Gabby and her 22 years of life. In the voice chat, I listened to people supporting one another in their mental health struggles. Over time, people had opened up, and shared the reason why this case meant so much to them; what it reminded them of in their lives, and how they felt about Gabby. She seemed to be an inspiration to everyone, to live life to the fullest with an open heart. There were regular reminders to take time away from the case, to practice self care, and in the designated “off topic” chats, people shared photos of their dogs.
We had turned something awful into a place we could come together. We even discussed what to do after this specific case ended; and we agreed to carry on working to solve crimes. As time went on, new chat channels were established as places to discuss other missing people who hadn’t made the headlines, those lacking the privilege of being a young white woman, whose families were desperate for help.
***
Amongst the hard work, humour, and caring words, there was hatred and bile for the Laundrie family, sometimes verging on vengeful. Users struggled to understand how anyone could refuse to cooperate with the police in this situation. Likewise, I could see the heightened emotions online having off-line effects. For weeks now, members of the public had been staking out the Laundrie house, chanting in protest and leaving shrine-like arrangements of Gabby’s photos, hoping to persuade the Laundries to talk. I saw footage of a woman who had flown to the Laundrie house to heckle them; they were effectively trapped, with their every move watched by the public. Meanwhile, the Laundrie family’s lawyer made statements mostly through text messages to journalists. “Idk” [I don’t know] he wrote simply, to a series of questions he was texted. The unprofessionalism was shocking.
With the story taking America by storm, discord users joked about how hard it had become to be a white, bald man in America, since any passing resemblance to Brian could get you reported to the police. A TikTok user shared a video of him explaining with good humour that his strong resemblance meant it was difficult for him to leave the house.
***
Things began to verge on the ridiculous when Dog the Bounty Hunter took up the case, and discord users gleefully shared the footage of him knocking on the Laundrie’s door. Indoors, the Laundries called the police. Dog tracked Brian to Fort de Soto Park in Florida, where he believed Brian could be manoeuvring from island to island by canoe. We studiously compared Dog’s findings of footprints on a beach to a photo of Brian’s feet, agreeing that the shape appeared to be the same.
When Dog found a Monster energy drink can lying on the shore, there was ferocious speculation as to whether this could belong to Brian. Brian’s Instagram posts were anti-packaging - including his encouragement to eat out of an old Melon rind. Brian was eco friendly, vegetarian, and appeared to hike barefoot. It was hard to imagine, then, that he would drink a Monster energy drink, let alone cast the empty can onto a beach. My most “liked” contribution to the discord and moment of pride was my speculation that “woke Brian” used melon bowls, while “dark Brian” was apparently capable of drinking Monster drinks, littering, and murder.
***
Clearly, we had begun to stray from our purpose, and with less and less news to chew over, it wasn’t long before there was discord on the Gabby Petito discords. Brian’s sister, Cassie, had volunteered to speak to police and journalists when her parents would not, but she stumbled through her interview, flushing and taking back words. While I was undecided, other users were widely in agreement that she was lying.
It was around this time that one mod commented on Cassie’s weight, in a hurtful and disrespectful tone. Users responded in outrage - this was not the community they had come to love - but the mod insisted that this was “not a safe space” and that it was not their job to take care of anyone’s feelings. Ultimately, the mod held all the power, and each time anyone expressed disagreement, they kicked each user out of the Discord, one by one.
I watched in horror as the very people who made this community were vanished from the server. Not only were they no longer online, they were banned from the group, and all of their previous messages and contributions were deleted as if they had never been there at all. Not even a ghost of their participation remained. By morning, the “Justice for Gabby” discord had collapsed altogether. I woke up, stunned, to only one Discord, where before there had been two. Like those users, the entire thing was gone, as if I had imagined it.
***
I had watched a similar series of events happen in the online sleuthing group for The Keepers. The 1950s murder of Sister Cathy Cesnik had never been solved - but a pedophile ring had been exposed in the school she taught, and it was now widely agreed upon that she was murdered as part of the cover up.
After I watched The Keepers, I joined a Facebook group dedicated to solving Cathy’s murder. Through this group, I found myself staying up until 2am looking at census records in Florida from the 70s. I used findagrave and ancestry, and even considered paying for a findmyfriends login, all trying to find someone the investigators were hoping to track down. But despite its honourable intentions, The Keepers Facebook community devolved into vicious bullying, with a handful of Facebook users accusing the investigators of seeking their own fame and ignoring important leads that didn’t fit their hypotheses. The group fragmented into two, with a new group appearing for people who did still support the original investigators. To this day I quietly maintain membership in both groups, keeping a foot in both these warring worlds. Is this the fate of all sleuthing communities? Is our cooperation only possible for a brief moment before we find ourselves at each other's throats?
***
That morning, I clung to the second “Gabby Petito” discord where I soon found other people discussing the collapse of “Justice for Gabby.” “Did the other #findgabby Discord go defunct?" A user asked. “Just saw that it disappeared from my sidebar." “Justice for gabby?” a user replied. “It was deleted today.” “It turned horribly,” another user added. Another went on, “One of the mods made a fat phobic comment ... and banned anyone who disagreed with them in the slightest.” Apparently this wasn’t an isolated incident, since another user described being attacked by mods; “it was pretty bad,” they said. On top of all this, they explained that cheese’s corner was not harmless at all, and had become a place for “a conspiracy theorist [who] made a lot of really hateful theories against certain groups.”
In the off-topic-lounge, I posted my thoughts. “I will miss that server, or the good parts of it anyway. I couldn’t understand why it had to get so ugly […] I’m really sorry it was so awful.” The user chatting with me replied, “it happens,” but said that they were sad, because it was “unfortunate how much time and sleepless nights I spent trying to be a good mod […] just for it to be thrown out like that. I wanted to make it feel comfy for everyone but some of the mods just ruined it.” “Ugh that’s so sad” I replied; “I appreciate the work you did.”
The ex-moderator went on, “I think all of us only wanted to help in the only ways we knew how to, and it’s been amazing, meeting everyone and being able to make new friends, and trying to get justice for Gabby.”
***
Within the Gabby Petito Discords, I saw human nature playing out in all its ugliness and beauty. The server fulfilled a desperate need to show love to one another and find solace in the face of this tragedy. We supported each other, made friends, and sometimes simply passed the time together. Despite Gabby’s murder being an awful event, rather than it consuming my thoughts and keeping me awake at night, I never felt that I was grappling with it alone. Rather than feel like an at-risk woman, a potential future victim, my identity was consumed by the role of sleuther, of someone actively engaged in putting things right, rather than fearing the worst.
On the Discords we worked tirelessly to find out what happened to Gabby - and we also engaged in a kind of server-wide bullying of a murder suspect, with discussions verging on the ludicrous and insane. But whatever pettiness and ridiculousness went down, these discords gave us a focus, and they helped us.
When the server collapses, when nothing is left but the memory of that online community, that ghost of a discord server, we can move on with our lives. For Gabby Petito’s family, there will be no such peace. They will have to wake up every morning and remember that she is gone. I cannot imagine what it must be like to lose a child in such terrible circumstances. But in this case, there is the added injury of public involvement. I’m not sure how much, if at all, being on the side of justice helps mitigate the uncomfortable fact that this case has nothing to do with us. Yet on the other hand social media led detectives to Gabby’s body, when it might have never been found. I hope that on balance, these clumsy amateur detectives and well-wishers have been a net positive, but it is entirely possible that we were not.
***
We still don’t know what happened between Brian and Gabby at the end of August, and Brian was found dead in the Carlton Reserve on the 20th October - apparently having gone into hiding there. At the time of writing Brian’s death has just been confirmed as suicide. There is the possibility that a notebook of his, found with his remains, will illuminate more.
Nothing can change this series of events now; so how can we learn from them? In his interview with Dr Phil, Gabby’s father explained that the only thing that could make Gabby’s death bearable is that some kind of good will eventually come out of it. If her story helps one person leave an abusive relationship, then her death has some meaning - without that meaning, her death is too painful to comprehend.
Gabby’s father set up The Gabby Petito Foundation to help with future missing persons cases, and to “provide aid to organizations that assist victims of domestic violence situations, through education, awareness, and prevention strategies.” In the weeks following Gabby’s death, I have already seen tweets sent to Gabby’s father, explaining that they have left their abusive partner as a result of her story. The fame and notoriety of this case may have been a curse, but the awareness it has spread may be its blessing: and if Gabby’s story has saved one life, maybe it wasn’t all in vain.
***
I send my deepest condolences and love to everyone impacted by this story.
Users quoted at length gave me permission to quote them in this piece.