i bet people dont understand that im joking 800% of the time

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@thedjentleman
i bet people dont understand that im joking 800% of the time
I just spit out my drink
every parent’s nightmare - more vines
fed306 cactus—cutie
this is accurate for me though lol
After high school you realize you were only friends with some people because you saw them five times a week.
This thought has been haunting me for months (via bled)
Bae: wow such big fingers! I wonder what you can do with them ;) Me: *stretches hand from the third to the twelfth fret*
THIS
The "I will do it just cause you said I can't" squad
Aries, Aquarius, Scorpio, Capricorn, Leo, Sagittarius
Baby Boomers: The recent generation is so rude
Baby Boomers: Screams at servers over petty shit like toast
Baby Boomers: Screams at cashier for telling them their coupon is expired
Baby Boomers: Ignores store policy
Baby Boomers: Says racist and sexist things
Once you start dating someone its like, impossible to insult them
"suck my dick" ok
“bite me” hell yeah
"kiss my ass" sure
"Fuck you" well if you insist.
"my mother was right about you, you’re pathetic, you’ve got no job, and you’ve got no future" if you insist
the last one made me lol
Welllllll it's official.
I'm going on tour from March 9th till July 5th or 6th. On the road for almost four months straight, hitting most of the lower 48 states with a sweet band, while recording an album for another band at the same time. Lol what have I gotten myself into.
there’s a copy of the declaration of independence on the bulletin board in my western civ class
today while my teacher was out of the room i stole it and put this up in its place
my teacher laughed and asked who took it but nobody told on me so i got away with it
i did it i stole the declaration of independence
nic cage is proud
shout out to people who have seen you naked but you can still have regular conversations with
shout out to people who can have regular conversations with you naked.
shout out to being naked
That wonderful fantastic moment when you finally meet a girl in your state that actually understands you and what you're about and then a week later find out you won't see her for four months oh yeah awesome that's just splendid. How fantastic. The opportunity is ridiculous but god that pisses me off. /endrant
It'll always be strange. There'll never be a good time.
This kids risking his life to get to school and I complain about walking across campus in the rain.
And I’m on full scholarship at a for year university in the US. What is wrong with me.
*four
No pressure
So long as I don't fuck up the next few weeks of my life, there's a very good chance that by the time I'm 20 I'll have accomplished the dream. No pressure.