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Dandelion

Warnings: Suicide hint, suicide mention, sensitive themes, heartbreaking themes

*How long have you been standing here? And how long have you been waiting for him? In fact, you're Shunsuke, and you're not bored or wasting your time. You're constantly moving in different directions, walking in circles, thinking, and trying to figure out what to say to him when he finally arrives. He probably called you for a reason, and he probably wants to ask you questions and understand what's going on, but... Sometimes, when you see him, you can't lie to him like you can to everyone else, which makes you feel annoyed and scared. You're trying to hate him, because when you spend time with him, you feel so strange, because you want to spend time with him and always be close to him, hold his hand, and even just looking at him makes you feel calm, because you want to be honest with him. You shouldn't feel this way about a boy, Shunsuke, don't you realize that you're sinking yourself? Children... They're all like that, aren't they? But if he asks you this question... Will you answer the truth or not? Will you be able to hold on and overcome this desire, or will you end up being pierced through by the wires and defeated by the one you love? You didn't have to think for long, because suddenly, someone closed your eyes. It seems like you were thinking too hard, and you didn't hear the footsteps behind you.*

— Guess who?

— Yuichi!

*This voice could be recognized from a thousand, this ringing, bright, charismatic, it was either shining brighter than all, or so quiet that it did not resemble itself, as if it were a different person, but so familiar, so close to the heart. You should hate him, but you can't, you like him and you like to listen to him, for him you entered the music school to hear him more often. Having exclaimed the name of the person behind, the boy could not remove his wide smile. Shunsuke immediately gently touched the palms of his hands on his face with his fingertips, taking them in his own and lowering them to better examine the one who invited you for a walk. His hands were warm, but it felt like they shouldn't be like that at all, as if they were originally cold, pale, like a dead man's. In front of him stood a boy only a year younger than himself, a shoulder bag with various bright drawings, key chains, badges, and he was wearing a bright blouse with different prints.*

— Wow! I thought you wouldn't recognize it!

*The boy's smile was stretched wide, when would he get rid of it? It's very annoying, you don't need this fake look, and he's buried inside this pile of dust and colors. Seeing him... Shunsuke was immediately filled with determination to make him laugh and see his real smile during their walk, the smile you like the most and the one you want to keep. It's naive, not mature, but you're not mature either, so maybe that's enough? No. You're holding back from saying something stupid because you don't want him to leave, and you don't want to be honest with him. In the end, Yuichi felt the awkward atmosphere and decided to break it up.*

—So... Have you been waiting for me for a long time? 🎶

—Yes! Where have you been for so long?

*Was he satisfied? It was so hard to say... But his smile grew even wider when he saw Shunsuke's indignation and stern expression*

— Ah, oh, I'm sorry! But I think you should get used to it, after all, girls are always late

— That's true... You're better than any girl

— I'll take that as a compliment! Learn while I'm still alive

*He said with a grin and walked forward with a peppy attitude, proud as if he had won his first victory, he looked a little proud for a while, but then faded away. He's acting quite cheerful now, it's strange... His smile... It made Tokano's heart shut down and start to worry, something is going on, it's not sincere again... You know what happened, so why are you so worried? Why? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?*

— Um... Shunsuke, let's go? Why are you looking at me like you've seen a ghost?

*The boy asked, looking at his friend, and you quickly regained your composure, smiling back and shaking your head slowly, as if trying to clear your mind. Yes, as long as he doesn't ask, he can relax. Yuichi is attentive and sees a lot, but maybe he'll forget? Naive, Shunsuke, naive.*

— Ah, nothing! It's just that we haven't seen each other for a long time!

*And because of who? Answer me.*

— You're right! But if you keep standing here, we'll be late, so let's get going, Shun-Shun.

— Don't call me that!

*The boy said in embarrassment, looking at Yuichi with displeasure. It sounds too childish! No, it's not just Shun, but two Shuns! It sounds... Well, it's too... Cute? No, no, no, no, it's more like childish, even though they are children. However, Yuichi just does what he wants, so he's probably going to keep doing it, especially when I see his satisfied grin. But we continued walking towards the movie theater, and Yuichi invited me to watch a strange movie. I didn't read the description, but the cover made it clear that it was strange, and I couldn't find anything suitable for our age. But you don't judge him, because your movie theater always shows some weird shit, man. As you walked, Yuichi was walking on a thin curb, his arms outstretched for balance, trying not to fall. And that's why you wanted to get back at him for the cute nickname*

— What if I trip you and you fall?

— You wouldn't do that.

— Are you sure?

— Yes

*Yuichi was confident in his words, and it was evident from his focused expression. Okay, he's right, you wouldn't do that, but he's taking it too seriously. However, there was a hint of worry and doubt in his seriousness. Is he truly confident? Or is he torn between doubt and mistrust? You've lost his trust, and you deserve worse.*

— Hey, say something. How are you, Shun-Shun? You look like a dark cloud.

— Ah... It's okay... And you're calling me that again.

*You were staring at Yuichi, who was still walking along the curb, but now he was looking at you. The younger boy didn't react to Shunsuke's request to stop calling him by that strange nickname. Well... You tried, not much resistance of course, because deep down you like the nickname, but you have to pretend that you don't, well, you've realized it, well done. Hmm, why does he call you that?*

— Why do you call me Shun-Shun?

*Yuichi switched to the curb under his feet*

— Well... Because it's cute, and it sounds like Tink-Tink, that's how bells usually sound and their ringing. Now answer my question.

*That's how it is... Nice, a slight blush passed over his face, no, rather crumbled, crumbled like a curse.*

— Well, how are things going... It seems to be normal, as usual, yesterday after school, I went for a walk with Sayaka and Ryo, it was quite fun, and today Ryo went to the history Olympiad, since he's really good at it.

*That's right, Shunsuke doesn't know anyone better than Ryo when it comes to stories, ancient myths, horror stories, and anything related to history or antiquity. But he also has another hobby - baking. You don't know why he started cooking, but you feel like there's something darker behind it, more than just an interest or desire. You remember a funny incident when he made cookies and gave them to the kids while telling them a story about a woman who poisoned her children by putting arsenic in their cookies because they were annoying her. I almost had a heart attack, Sayaka choked, Rei almost spat out her cookie, and she got goosebumps, Hiroto told Ryo that it might scare us, Takumi was scared and dropped his cookie, and Aya ate every single crumb... I envy her and Hiroto's composure, I want to be like Hiroto when I grow up! He panicked and apologized, but the story stuck in my head, I should listen to my mother more so she doesn't put arsenic in my food.*

— Oh, yes! He really knows a lot about her, but what about Sayaka? Rei, Aya, Takumi?

*The boy looked thoughtful, raising his head. You don't want him to fall while walking on the sidewalk, knowing how often he gets distracted from his route, so you move closer so that you can hold him if something happens. You're still worried about him, even too much, and why did you even try if you're just going to throw it all away now? This boy is driving you crazy, no, you're driving yourself crazy, stop blaming him for everything, stop seeing things in him that aren't there, and stop seeing him as a black spot. Yuichi noticed the way you moved*

— Um... Well, Sayaka's fine, as usual, coming up with new games, playing with us, and joking about vulgar topics and melodramas. I remember once she climbed a tree and then fell... The tree was tall, and luckily she didn't break anything, but she laughed about it, recalling a dramatic scene while Ryo applied a bandage to her wound.

*Sayaka has always been a crazy monkey who can't sit still, but she has a great imagination and is a lot of fun to be around! She can come up with interesting ideas that everyone can get involved in. Last time, we played a game of court, which was suggested by Sayaka after she remembered her father watching a show where adults pulled the child and divided the property. Hiroto was the judge, and everyone agreed that he was the perfect fit for the role. Sayaka killed Ryo's wife out of jealousy, and the investigation was conducted accordingly. Rei was Sayaka's lawyer, and I was Ryo's lawyer, and I never thought that a verbal altercation could be a real torture, and I thought I would fail, and being a lawyer wasn't my thing. Takumi was a witness and a mutual friend, on Ryo's side, and Aya was Sayaka's friend and on her side, and it would have been better to make her the lawyer, but she refused, and she wanted to watch the show we were putting on. The investigation began, we fought in a fierce battle, and in the end, Ryo won according to all the rules of the law. Sayaka was convicted and imprisoned (She was sitting on a hill while I and Ryo were surrounding her on both sides to prevent her from escaping, but she eventually did so after 10 attempts because I was tired of chasing her). I wonder what role Yuichi would have played if he had been with us. Perhaps he would have been an investigator or... Stop thinking about it, it's your own fault that he can't join you, you asshole, it's your own fault that you can't have fun as a group.*

— I see, so you're having fun, are you?

*There was an awkward silence, and a sense of guilt began to creep up my throat... You shouldn't have told them that, because now I feel like something is stuck in my throat.*

— Rei is the same as always, too mature, cheerful, and full of life. I remember that she had a conflict with a younger student because he was smoking outside the school building.

— Wow, what happened next?

— Well, nothing special, the boy was put on probation, and Rei achieved justice.

— Hmm, nothing interesting... Rei is the same as always, pursuing justice.

*Yuichi waved his hand in boredom. Rei is as usual strict and confident, but she has become more responsible, but sometimes she is still able to go overboard, be a little boring, but she is smart and she is good friends with other people, and she does not lose her status in school and prefers fashion. I remember yesterday, we were heading to the base to chat and play together, but suddenly we heard children bullying kittens. Hiroto had a hard time pulling Rei back, who broke one child's nose and knocked out another's tooth, and I tried to calm her down while the others took care of the kittens and quickly took them to the veterinary clinic. Sayaka's fists were itching, but Rei seemed to have transformed into a monster that couldn't be stopped, and Hiroto and I had a hard time calming her down. Perhaps this is why Sayaka decided to step back and help Takumi, Aya, and Ryo.Those kids complained to their parents, who threatened to call the police, but money solves everything, and in the end, those kids were punished by their own parents. I wonder what Yuichi would have done if he were there. I'm sure he would have tried to help Rei... Are you thinking about it again? You're annoying yourself*

— Aya is almost the same, but better, and I'm glad that she's getting better and attending school more often than usual.

*Shunsuke smiled awkwardly but genuinely, thinking about Aya. It's true, she's getting better, she's eating a little more than before, but still not much, and she's spending more time outside with her friends. However, it's still challenging, as she doesn't particularly enjoy long walks and gets tired quickly. However, she does enjoy visiting abandoned buildings, as they are quite quiet and cold, and she feels a sense of security there. As a result, they often go there, as it brings her back to life. One weekend, the group decided to have a picnic. Most of the food was brought by Ryo, Rei, Takumi, and Sayaka. Ryo brought his own homemade food, Rei brought various delicious items, Sayaka was served by her mother, Takumi was also served, and there was a lot of food. I brought my mother's food and included a spicy sauce because I wanted Aya to try it. Aya also brought food prepared by her mother, and Hiroto tried to sneak away and make an excuse, but we all knew that he couldn't bring anything. So... I was able to persuade him and he came, after which he was pelted with food, especially by Rei, he was embarrassed, but he couldn't do anything, his hands were tied! Rei and Sayaka looked like caring grandmothers from the entrance, well, and Ryo like a mother who tried to calm the fervor of two crazy grandmothers, I don't feel sorry for Hiroto. In the end, I poured a lot of sauce into Aya's food and she liked it, she ate almost everything, since then, I gave her this sauce, because she needs it more than I do. I remember how grateful she was and how she promised to give me something, but I refused. I wonder what Yuichi would bring and what he would do... Mizuoka looked at Shunsuke, and then suddenly became gloomy, but as usual, he tried to hide it.

— Oh, that's good.

— Well, Takumi has become more daring, and I'm not surprised, because he's really trying

*Takumi used to be a very shy child, and he would get flustered by just looking at himself, but he has been able to make a few friends, and he has also been able to express himself more by answering in class, participating in some competitions, but he is still very shy. He has a lot of fears and doubts, but if he keeps going, he will be fine! However, his health is also shaky, as Takumi was a weak child and could get sick easily, but he has become more cheerful. I remember how it suddenly started raining after school, and then, Takumi didn't have time to take a nap, as he was sent to the intensive care unit. We went to the hospital and visited him, playing and having fun, and this time he stayed for several days after he was discharged, although he can usually stay for months or weeks. It would have been interesting if Yuichi had been with us then. Surely he would have been able to cheer Takumi up quickly along with Sayaka and Rei.*

— Nice!

— What about Hiroto? Didn't you ask about him?

— I already know how he's doing.

— Wow, should I be jealous?

*Shunsuke decided to joke around, because it was a pretty funny moment for such a joke. Of course, he understood that Hiroto treats everyone the same way, like younger kids, and he's the big brother who'll be there to support and guide them in the right direction, and he's too old for him, so it's not surprising that Yuichi often hangs out with him. Perhaps this joke is too ridiculous, no Shunsuke, you idiot, how can you freeze something like this?! After what happened between the two of you!? Idiot. Yuichi looked at Shunsuke with a pause... As if he was thinking about something, but then he made a thoughtful-funny expression, and it seemed like he understood the joke, so he responded with the same expression.*

— Yuichi, this joke is terrible, I know-

*Shunsuke started to say, but he was interrupted*

— Hmm... Well... Let me think... This is a very tempting question that needs to be thought about... Hmm... Crocodiles... Potatoes... A book... Flowers...

*It was hard for Shunsuke not to laugh quite loudly at Yuichi's face and words, as if he was seriously considering whether Shunsuke should be jealous or not*

—Hey, this is a matter of utmost importance! I think I need a couple of higher educations to answer it, what a shame...

— Yuichi, stop it, I was just joking. I'm going to die laughing...

— Hm, my dear and beloved Shun-Shun, understand that no one can take your place in my heart.

*Yuichi looked rather proud, as if he was an actor who performs on stage, but... Now you were not in the mood to laugh, but rather the opposite. Your face was all flushed with embarrassment as you clenched your lips and frowned your eyebrows. Why is this boy so insufferable? Why can he so easily make you die of embarrassment and laughter? In fact, you already know why, because you care about him, you value him, and you would be willing to sacrifice a lot for his happiness, but you hate this truth, this fact, it's already difficult for him, but if you're together, it will be much easier, won't it? But what if it's not? Stop being paranoid. You enjoy this joke, or the things he does! Friends often joke with each other like this, for example, girls jokingly call themselves lesbians and shower each other with compliments, it's even cute, but when he tries to joke in this way, it confuses me... Is it a joke? Yuichi's eyes are sincere. It doesn't evoke the same emotions. How tired I am of this... But of what? Of myself? Of what you feel for him? Of your feelings? Of your attitude towards him? Or of everything at once? To silence? Yuichi noticed his friend's thoughtful and suddenly sad mood, and wondered if the joke had offended him. However, there was nothing wrong with the joke, and Shunsuke had previously been very cute when he was embarrassed. Therefore, he calmly pulled Shunsuke, who was already standing next to him, closer by placing his arm around Shunsuke's shoulder. After all... Mizuoka preferred to see his happy and embarrassed face.*

— You should hold me tighter, because if I fall, this ground won't be happy 🎶

*He smiled contentedly, looking at Shunsuke, who felt warm when he looked back. It was hard not to smile when Yuichi looked at him like that...*

— That's the bard's problem, not mine

— But you'll get it too

— Eh... You're so cruel...

*Shunsuke made a sad face, as if he was really sorry, but it was just a face, and Yuichi noticed it, patting his friend on the head*

— Hey, don't worry, I'm very merciful.

*A pleasant and warm hand ruffled his hair, just like his mother sometimes did. Shunsuke didn't react much, but it was nice to imagine himself as a cat or a dog, or any other pet that was treated with affection, so he even smiled a little, but then the hand quickly left his head... Эх... It's a pity. They came to a tall multi-storey building, a cultural center, where there were usually a lot of boring events where you could sleep. But this cultural center also had several other areas, including a movie theater, but surprisingly... The building was closed.*

— Closed? That's strange...

*Yuichi immediately took out his phone with a colorful flip-up case and started pressing buttons quickly. Shunsuke approached his "friend" and looked over his shoulder at what he was typing and searching for, apparently he had gone to the house's website and was trying to find information about why the building was closed. However, there was no information about it on the website, not even a single article.*

— Um... Seriously?! According to the schedule, we were on time, but the building was locked, and there was no mention of the early closure on the website.

*Yuichi was extremely annoyed by this rude treatment of people. Meanwhile, Shunsuke looked up at the sky. It was gray, filled with dark clouds, as if it was ready to release its tears at any moment and mourn for all those who were there, showing no mercy... That's why it was so quiet, with no one on the street, as if everyone had died and they were left alone. They needed to find shelter quickly to avoid getting caught in the rain. Shunsuke suggested, pulling the younger's attention away from the screen*

— Ah? Oh, yeah, look at those clouds.

*The boy also noticed them, but he wasn't too concerned about it. Eventually, they made their way to a nearby park, finding shelter under a small canopy. Shunsuke was right, as the rain began to fall quickly, not just a few drops but a steady and drizzling downpour that left nothing dry except for the two boys and the interior of the buildings. Who would have thought that it would rain so much in the middle of spring? Lately, it's been quite frequent... Shunsuke stood under the edge of the curtain's roof, looking out at the rain and the square. How do you feel? You feel yourself sinking deeper and deeper into your thoughts, becoming increasingly nervous. You must be honest, at least for his sake, your heart is racing, and Shunsuke vows that if he had a gun right now, he would not hesitate to kill himself. Yuichi, sitting on the bench, notices Shunsuke's slightly tense gaze and the way he fidgets with his pants, rubbing the fabric. After placing his bag on the seat, Shunsuke boldly turned on his phone and increased the volume. The music was quite loud, but he didn't bother to lower the volume. Instead... He placed his phone on top of his black bag and stepped into the middle of the rain-soaked square that connected the building and the park. He smiled brightly, like a child who had just been given a candy.*

— Shunsuke!

*He happily looked at the frowning face in front of him, while water dripped down his hair, clothes, and dripped from above*

— Dance with me!

*Shunsuke was there... Shocked and very surprised, why is he offering something like standing where he is? He might catch a cold if he stands in the rain for a long time!*

—Yuichi! You'll catch a cold...

— So what? I can see your face getting tense and how nervous you are. Come on! Shunsuke, if you get sick I'll take responsibility for you and bring you fruit!

*Shunsuke couldn't hold back his happy smile for a long time, why was he smiling like that? He must be cold. But the truth is simpler than it seems at first glance - he's with the person he loves, and he loves the rain.*

— Do you love the rain that much?

— No, it's not that... I'm just bored and we're alone!

*Actually... Yuichi just doesn't want to look at Shunsuke's sad and tense face, so he wanted to dance with him, but is it really a dance? The younger boy persistently extended his hand to Shunsuke, inviting him to take it. So what did the boy do? He took the hand, which was still warm despite the water, albeit less so than the morning. What will you do? Well... You went out into the center of the hurricane together, the cold rain falling on your face, hair, and clothes, but it didn't matter next to him... Your attention was focused on his joyful and slightly embarrassed face. Although you were physically cold, a warm feeling spread within you, and you couldn't take your eyes off him. You held hands with both of your arms and... You simply began to dance together, scattering raindrops in all directions as you moved back and forth. It's hardly a proper dance, but you both can't dance, so it's the best you can do, but it's enough to make you smile with a genuine and wide grin.*

— Hahaha!

*After that, you couldn't help but laugh, starting modestly and awkwardly, but Yuichi supported your idea, and soon you were both bursting into laughter with bright smiles. You had a great time together, even if you ended up at home with a fever. The pictures were constantly changing, everything was blurry, and how much time had passed? The melody, which wasn't quite suitable for dancing in the rain, had already switched to another song that was downloaded from Yuichi.*

— Oh... Everything is blurry... Hehehe...

— Let's go, Shunsuke! So that we don't fall, and if we do, we fall together!

*Yes, after that spin in the rain, your head was spinning, but it was spinning for both of you! And now you were sitting under the curtain, as the rain calmed down and ended, and the music was still playing, so the calm and slightly gentle notes echoed with the sound of the rain. Both boys were breathing heavily from exhaustion and long hours of fun, and Mizuoka didn't hesitate to rest his head on his friend's shoulder, as if it didn't matter at the moment, while Shunsuke rested his head on his fellow sufferer's head. Perhaps you're not as disgusted with the rain as you used to be, and you're not as cold as you thought you'd be, as long as you're with the person you love. Perhaps it's because you're more prepared for the cold, wearing a warm sweater, even though your friend's shirt may look warm.*

— Um... Yuichi?

*You were able to catch your breath by opening your mouth wide and breathing deeply with him, while he was still breathing heavily, you could feel his chest gradually rising and falling with the rhythm of his lungs and shortness of breath, which made you think for a while, but you tried to hide your slight embarrassment by turning your head and pretending to look outside.*

— Ah... Yeah?

— Are you cold?

*Soon, Yuichi took a final breath and stood up, but he didn't remove his head from my shoulder. I didn't mind. Listen to me carefully and look at him. Is he really the one you should hate? Yes, he's not perfect, and he's constantly criticized and disliked by many, but it's your heart's choice. When will you stop rejecting it? Perhaps there's nothing wrong with choosing sorrow? Because for you, this grief is happiness, and as long as you try to reject this happiness, you will be harming yourself as well as him, ah, yes, your happiness holds no value for you, but now... You raised your head and looked at Yuichi, who was deep in thought, his eyes shining with joy from his merry companionship with Shunsuke and... The older boy's smile began to spread on its own, causing him to unintentionally flick Yuichi's forehead.*

— Ah! For what?!

— For being frozen

— I was just thinking!

*The boy removed his head from the other boy's shoulder and rubbed his poor forehead from the impact, as if he had been shot and now had a bullet hole in his forehead, with blood dripping down his face. Perhaps you're overthinking things and should just turn off your brain for a while*

— Well, it is a bit chilly

— Then maybe we should go to your house so you can put on some warm clothes? I can wait.

*Yuichi paused for a moment, as if thinking about Shunsuke's suggestion, but then shook his head in refusal*

— No, look at the sun shining.

— The sun?

*Yuichi looked at the bright rays playing on the sidewalk, where they had been dancing a few minutes earlier. Indeed, after the cold rain, the sun broke through, and the rain subsided until it stopped dripping, as if the miserable and lonely life had come to an end, leaving only the bright sun and the joy it brings, along with the warmth. It was a sudden contrast and a quick shift in the weather. Therefore, we stood up together and stepped out of the curtain, trying to ensure that the rain had finally stopped. The clouds were still present, as were the puddles left by the rain, and I looked at Yuichi, who... He just shook himself in different directions, trying to release the water that was still on him. This is what cats usually do after getting completely soaked in water, in order to dry themselves faster by shaking off the excess water, and that's exactly what the boy was doing. Shunsuke chuckled at the sight and stepped aside to avoid getting wet.*

— Yuichi, are you a cat?

— Shut up.

*But despite the fact that the boy was being shushed, Tokano continued to look at him with a smile, also not standing still and taking off his jacket. First, he squeezed the excess water out of it, squeezing it like the edges of other clothes, and then also began to shake in different directions with Yuichi, so that the excess water would fall. It was fun. When a little water fell and after a small wet spot formed under our feet, we looked at each other and giggled*

— Now you're a cat too, Shunsuke!

— Well, dogs do that too

— So we're both dogs?

— I don't know... Maybe both?

*Shunsuke suggested, looking at Yuichi, who liked the idea*

— Why not? It's more fun than being just one thing, isn't that what they say? "We decide who we want to be," so why not be multiple things at once? And not one 🎶

*How did this dialogue about animals turn into a completely different direction? But maybe the questions are unnecessary here. You went back under the curtain to get your things. I felt a little awkward looking at Yuichi, who was soaking wet in his thin clothes and sometimes shivered from the cold, so I calmly took off my top coat and immediately... Threw it in his face*

— Hey! Don't throw it! Ah? Why? I don't want you to get sick.

*Yuichi looked at me in confusion, while I calmly looked at my friend*

— I don't want you to catch a cold. Unlike you, I have a very healthy body and I eat vegetables and fruits.

*Shunsuke looked very proud. It's true that he wasn't picky, although there were sometimes foods that were too difficult for him to eat, but he did eat a lot of healthy foods! Therefore, fruits and vegetables compensated for this, while Yuichi was quite picky and ate little vegetables, but he liked fruits. Mizuoka looked at Tokano with a certain amount of disdain and irritability*

— Hey! I eat them too! Kuh... Okay, you've won

*Yuichi suddenly put on the brakes, looking rather embarrassed, and for some reason, when he's embarrassed, Shunsuke finds it very cute and amusing, and his smile starts to spread wider without his control. After accepting the sweater, it was a bit too big for Yuichi, but he usually wears oversized clothes because they make him feel comfortable and he likes the way they look on him, so he put it on without hesitation. He looked good in Shunsuke's sweater, but let's not talk about that right now, shall we? Otherwise, we'll embarrass our main character, and I'm already blushing as I type this in my math class, smiling wider than China, and I don't envy anyone or myself. The movie didn't work out, and it's a shame, but what should they do now? They have the rest of the day ahead of them, and none of them are planning or even considering going home.

— Oh, I know, Yuichi, let's go to a place that has a cute view.

*As for Shunsuke's worries, they seemed to have disappeared, and he wasn't even thinking about them anymore, thanks to spending time with the person he loved. The place they went to was an abandoned, unfinished school, where other students and teenagers often gathered to have fun or chat. One day, Sayaka and Rei invited the guys over, and Ryō usually doesn't like dark places, but there were a lot of them there, but Shunsuke often held his friend's hand, which made Ryō feel more confident and even like the place a little, except for the darkness. In addition, there are always stones from an unfinished project lying around, which can be used to climb up to the second floor, which is still unfinished. There's no roof and there are always a lot of holes you can fall into, but it has a nice view from the hill down below, especially the sunsets and eclipses. Shunsuke thinks Yuichi might like it, so he decided to invite him. The boy looked at his friend and eventually nodded.*

— Okay, let's go, but is it far from here?

— Um...

*Shunsuke fell silent, they were roughly in the center of the city, where there was a cluster of shops, and that school was quite far away from this place. Then Shunsuke remembered that they would probably walk for a long time, and then the sun might set, which would be beautiful, but on the other hand, Yuichi's mother had problems, and it was unlikely that he could walk for that long*

— Quite a long time

— Okay, let's go

*Shunsuke was surprised and looked at Yuichi in disbelief*

— Are you sure?

— Yes, my mother is staying over at a friend's house, so everything should be fine, and my father is at work all day, so I'm alone.

— Ahhh... You also had a grandmother, right?

— Let me tell you a story on the way.

*Yuichi managed to intrigue me, but what happened to his grandmother that she no longer lived with them? And how did his mother manage to go out without worrying about her? Shunsuke had known about Yuichi's situation since they were in elementary school, when they became friends and spent most of their time together. It was an accident, and the boy just blurted it out, but his friend can't forget it. Did you seriously leave him knowing what was happening to him? You left him when he was vulnerable and suffering, and you're a monster, Shunsuke. I know, and I'm sorry, but I'm very selfish, isn't that right? Isn't that right? I'll get better. Will you get better? Don't be ridiculous. I won't leave him again. Will you tell me the truth? The truth?.... We set off, and I led Yuichi behind me, as I remembered the way well.*

— Well, I'll start.

*We walked at a leisurely pace along the sidewalk.*

— You know that my grandmother is ill, right? And about my mother's seizures.

— Yes, I remember all of that.

— Well, my mother almost killed my grandmother.

*Shunsuke was... Surprised, was Miss Mizuoka capable of harming others? She was mostly trying to kill herself and hated her husband, but here was an innocent old lady. But the boy remained silent, as he was curious to hear what Yuichi would say next*

— It was like always, my dad came home for lunch, he and my mom had an argument, and my mom started crying while he went to his room. And then, as always, the furniture and things flew, she cried, I calmed her down, but suddenly... Something else happened

*Yuichi spoke about it as if it were a normal, calm day that he lived every day, and to some extent, it was true. No, it was true, but at the end, the boy said something intriguing*

— My grandmother entered my mother's room and started asking questions, and seeing the scene, she became worried and tried to help. I was responsible for her and tried to get her out of the room because she would only get in the way. After leaving after 5 minutes, she came back with the same question and the same reaction... And so on for a while.

— Well, yes, it's dementia.

*Yuichi nodded and continued*

— My mother flew into a rage and pulled a knife out of her pillow, which she usually used to harm herself, and lunged at my grandmother, shouting something like, "You old bitch, you've been asking me so many questions that I'm exhausted", "I'm already sick of you", "Why am I the one who has to deal with you while your own son ignores you?"

*Shunsuke was... Even more surprised, was this the extent of Miss Mizuoka's anger?*

— My dad came to the screaming and he pulled my mom away from my grandmother slapping her, and I helped my grandmother. Then my dad decided to send my grandmother to a nursing home.

— Oh-oh... That sounds terrible...

— It's not like she should have been sent there right away, but as usual, my father is a slowpoke and always puts things off until the last minute. However, after she was sent there, my mother's condition improved slightly, and she had one less headache to deal with. She also spent more time with her friends to avoid her father, but she still made sure to be home to cook and clean up a bit.

*Yuichi spoke with confidence, pleased that his grandmother had been sent to a nursing home. Isn't that cruel?" But he also understood that it was more useful than her living with them.*

—In the winter. Oh! Look, dandelions!

—I see... And when did this happen?

*The kids suddenly passed a small patch of grass with a small field of yellow dandelions. There were many yellow spots on the bright grass, which was colored by the bright sun, which was high in the sky again, and the dew reflected the light beautifully, which was cute. Spring could always please with a variety of colors*

— Let's go over there?

*After that, the guys came closer to a small field*

— It's a nice place

*Shunsuke said calmly with a smile, he was of course more of a fan of indoor plants, but he also liked wild ones, never expecting when suddenly in the spring cute purple, blue, yellow flowers will grow in that place. As a child, he often collected small bouquets and gave them to his mother, despite the fact that they quickly wilted, his mother was happy. Since it's spring, why not? Meanwhile, Yuichi sat down on the grass, picking flowers and doing something. Shunsuke was curious about what he was doing, so he sat down next to him.*

— Wow, what are you doing?

— You'll find out later, but can I share something with you and complain?

— Yes

*Despite his words, Yuichi looked very focused, flower by flower, and it seems that you've already figured out what he's weaving, haven't you? After that, the younger one exhaled and began*

— Well, recently, my dad took me to a woman, and only after searching online did I find out that she was a psychologist. My dad left, and I was left sitting there, and she was annoying. She kept asking personal questions, giving me tests to solve, drawing, and more. But I knew it was important, and since things had turned out this way, I had to be honest. I told her the truth, but... Instead, she acted like everyone else, which was strange because her job was to help people in need, especially when it came to my head. She said I was fine and that I just needed to stop acting like a spoiled child who expected everyone to cater to my every whim. She also said that if I behaved like everyone else, I would be able to make friends and everything would be fine. NO WAY DID YOU HEAR THAT?!?! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT TO A CHILD?!?! IS SHE EVEN IN HER SENSES?!

*Yuichi burst out in indignation, restraining himself so that what he was doing would turn out well and not break. You are also taken aback by why that woman did that to Yuichi? She is apparently very stupid, isn't she?*

— She shouldn't have said something like that to you! It's so strange... Do you know why your father sent you to this woman?

— Mmm... Because I tried to stab myself at school? I don't even know... Even then, I was suspended from lessons... This is strange.

*Shunsuke fell into an absolute daze, Yuichi talked about it as if it was really normal and he didn't see anything wrong with it... Did he really say he tried to stab himself? Isn't this a massive problem? Once he was even suspended from school for a while*

— Ah... I see why you tried to do that?...

— I was bored

*"Bored"?*

— Everything around me is degrading, which makes me apathetic, so I thought that a little trouble would spice up my life, but deep down, I hoped that by doing this, I would be taken seriously.... But in the end... Everything changed. But! The psychologist now hates me! I closed the door in her face when I left, and I criticized her! You should have seen her face! Hehe 🎶

—... Yuichi...

*Yuichi suddenly fell silent, as if Shunsuke had said something wrong, and looked at the boy.*

— Why are you reacting like this, Shunsuke?

—.... Ah?

*What is this boy talking about? What does he mean? Why is he looking at you like that? Why is he... Why did you leave him and not want to take responsibility for your actions? Fool, did you expect something different? Something was stuck in your throat, making it difficult to speak or even breathe, but... Even with a shiver, you finally said it...*

— Yuichi... I'm sorry for avoiding you.

*Avoiding was an understatement; you pretended he didn't exist because you hated the feelings you had for him. You're terrible, Shunsuke. The boy clutched the fabric in his hands, looking guiltily at the dandelions and afraid to turn his gaze towards him, but when you did, you surprised Yuichi's calm face with absolutely nothing. That's when you realized... You realized everything*

— You don't have to apologize. You know, at first I thought that you hated me. I'm sure my classmates told you something or turned your mom against me, but... You're not like that

*Yuichi was just expressing his thoughts and guesses out loud right now, going back to work on the unfinished wreath in calm harmony and confidence.*

— That's why the only thing I was wondering was why. I expected you not to come, and if you hadn't come, I would have made sure that you hated me, but... no.

*The last couple of flowers. Shunsuke didn't even seem to be breathing and just listened to his friend's voice, trying to feel the emotions that he had once experienced, but then... Something soft landed on his head, but not hard, and Yuichi moved closer to place the wreath in its rightful place. Shunsuke looked at the younger in surprise, then took the wreath and stared at it in amazement. Neat and diligent, the stitches were tightly attached, so it wouldn't come apart on its own. You tried not to crumple it, because you appreciated the work of someone dear to you, it's too valuable a thing.*

—Yuichi!

*Shunsuke gasped in surprise, unable to believe that he had made a wreath for him, a man who had left him alone and pretended that he had never existed at all. It's not fair, it's not fair, Yuichi, what kind of unfair game is this? What do you mean? Why? It's not fair...*

—Hey, put it back on!" It suits you, by the way.

*The only thing Yuichi was unhappy about was Shunsuke taking off the wreath, as if he had never avoided it, ignored it. It shouldn't be like that, with every reaction of this boy, his heart was filled with grief, but also with hope that he could fix everything. My hands started to shake, it's not like that, it's not like that, it would be different... The other one is not him, but... but... His eyes started to fill with tears, and he lost control of himself.*

—I... this... Yes, you said that I shouldn't apologize, but I acted like an asshole to you, we had so much fun together today and still do! I'm really terrible! Isn't it?

*Shunsuke looked at the wreath and the soft yellow spots with a sad look, trying not to cry. He must not allow something like this to happen again, he is to blame and he must try to do everything in order to fix what he has done. Tears began to flow from the internal accumulated pain and from the realization. Yuichi was silent for a while, glancing at the repentant Shunsuke, the Shunsuke he used to know, and Shunsuke who was crying now. Does he really blame himself that much? Yes, he really did a terrible thing and Yuichi felt anger, abandonment, loneliness deep in his soul, but he understands that he does not want Shunsuke to drown in this guilt. It's so strange, on the contrary, he should want the criminal to be punished, but he's the only one who repents and wants to fix something, change something.*

— Okay, actually, the main thing for me was how you treat me, well, the reason too. Then why did you avoid me if you didn't hate me?

— Or... Do you hate me?

— I love you.

*The boy wiped away the tears that had accumulated a little, but they didn't have time to subtract them, because he was now filled with anger. The words came out on their own, like birds breaking open a cage and breaking free. How could he think... How could he think Shunsuke hated him?! He... I tried to hate, but instead I hated myself, despised myself, feelings, putting everything on the boy, IT SHOULDN'T BE LIKE THIS, HE SHOULDN'T THINK THAT I HATE HIM, IT SHOULDN'T BE LIKE THIS, IT SHOULDN'T BE. Does all this change the meaning and turn the situation around, does he hate Yuichi? No, he wouldn't have dared, he hated feelings, but if he hated feelings, then did he hate Yuichi? No, no, you're completely crazy, stealing something that's a part of you. Were you thinking of drowning it out? But instead, you hurt someone you cared about, made him feel like you hated him, even though he was surrounded by hate and lived in it day after day. How so, eh? What you were building just started to crumble like a house of cards with just words and a question that makes sense. Was your wall really that strong? Or did you like to imagine her like that? I DON'T CARE, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE WALL, LET THE WHOLE WORLD BURN DOWN, LET IT DESTROY AS MUCH AS IT WANTS, JUST ENOUGH, ENOUGH. Despite trying to stop the tears, they started coming again, sometimes when you think about such things, it's hard for you to control yourself.*

— You—I didn't want you to think I hated you! I didn't want you to be alone! I didn't mean to! I-.... Simply.... It seemed to me that it was easier this way and I could at least help you escape from hatred a little, I'm sorry.... Truth... I messed up everything and I made you think there was another person who hated you. It shouldn't be like this, it's so wrong.

*Also gently stroking the dandelions, the boy lowered his head while his tears dripped onto the plants, it hurts so much, it hurts so much, it hurts so much. That's it, you've had enough, he's had enough, both of you have had enough. The boy with the little ponytail looked surprised, no, it was as if there was a download in his head and he just froze in some kind of shock. Stop... That is... SHUNSUKE LOVES HIM?!? DOES HE LOVE YOU?!! DID HE GET ANYTHING WRONG?!? WAS HE IGNORING HIM BECAUSE HE LOVED HIM?!? WHAT IS THIS CRAPPY TRICK FROM AMERICAN TV SERIES FOR GIRLS?!? WHAT THE FUCK?!? Maybe he meant that he loves him as a friend... But that's no reason to avoid... that... The boy looked terribly embarrassed and awkward, his face was just covered in red paint and looked like a big tomato. Who does that anyway? After such questions, he just says "I love you" so easily, as if it were commonplace, maybe you're just not used to listening to it? How did you hear something like that from someone? From your mother? The father? It's so nice to hear, but it's also alien. "I love you" "I love you" "I love you", do such words exist? When he saw Shunsuke's face and heard what he said, the mood diminished and sympathy appeared, but the embarrassment did not go away, he thought about him, worried, wanted to make life easier, only it made everything worse. Shunsuke is only 12, of course he was worried that his feelings would make Yuichi's situation worse, but Yuichi doesn't give a fuck.*

—... Shun-shun

*Shunsuke slowly looked up at Yuichi while tears were falling from his cheeks, sniffing at the same time. He is ready to accept any punishment, but instead, the boy sat down closer and kissed him on his wet cheek, which... was unexpected and very embarrassing, which quickly made his face burn*

— You were worried and thinking about me, but you should have been more worried about yourself, I appreciate that. Yes, you're a dumb kid, but all dumb kids make mistakes.

— Hey! That was rude! You should have supported me... Well, or... Although... No, I don't deserve it.

*Shunsuke was still embarrassed by the cute kiss, but he was also surprised how Yuichi felt about accepting someone like him.*

— I'm telling you, you dumb kid. But it's okay, you're sorry and you want to fix the mistake, I'd be lying if I said I don't hold grudges, but we have plenty of time to catch up! Right? Therefore... Don't blame yourself so much. Давай веселиться!

*Yuichi said with a smile, wanting to amuse Shunsuke. The strange phrase he said at the end was something the boy kept saying at inappropriate moments because he wanted to cheer someone up or motivate them by using English, even though he wasn't very good at it. This phrase was appropriate for the moment. Shunsuke glanced at Yuichi and he said... He was right. That's right, they have a lot of time to fix everything, and he'll be able to do things he couldn't before, which calmed Shunsuke down and he was able to wipe away his tears. That's right, he'll fix everything, no matter what he does, it won't be perfect, but he'll try. Yuichi gently put his hand on Shunsuke's arm, which sometimes trembled.*

— You see, so don't worry! Today we're going to have a blast and it's going to be fun!

— Why do you have so much energy? What are you using?

— Sour candies

— Are you still here? I just want to cheer up too.

*The boy took a candy out of his pocket and handed it to a friend in misfortune, Shunsuke took the candy from a dear person and unpacked it and put it in his mouth. It was too sour, which made me close my eyes.*

— Beeeee... It's too sour

— I told you

*Yuichi spoke as he joined Tom and ate another sour candy. Despite the sourness, there was a pleasant sweetness that helped me come to my senses completely. Finally eating the candy, Shunsuke looked at Yuichi, who was happily chewing his own. He really has few joys, I wonder what it means to him how they spent their time today?*

— You look like a dandelion.

*He suddenly said, expressing almost nothing, but only grinning slightly. Yuichi was surprised, finally swallowing the candy*

— No one has called me that yet, but why?

— Well, your hair is soft too, and you want to run away when you grow up.

*But your roots have penetrated and spread so far that they cause pain, but also leave pleasant sensations. The boy looked at the dumb man, but then he smiled.*

— You're right! By the way, Shunsuke, will you blow up the school with me?

*Tokano placed a wreath on his head*

— Even the whole planet, just let's move Sayaka, Re, Rei, Takumi, Hiroto, Aya and their parents with ours to another planet?🎶

— Come on! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

*Actually, our walk went well! Can you even call this a date? I didn't know how to make wreaths, but after Yuichi made it for me, I also wanted to learn how to do it. Rei and Ryo tried to help me before, but it didn't work out, there were a lot of failures like here, Sayaka always liked to laugh at my failed works, and in the end, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't, the dandelions kept breaking.*

— Perhaps I will never comprehend the art of knitting wreaths.

—Hey, don't relax! Just have patience and everything will turn out great! Let's try it again.

— I already feel sorry for these flowers.

— Flowers don't have a nervous system, so they don't get hurt, they just die and that's it.

*After all, Yuichi knows how to calm down when necessary /j. But surprisingly, with Yuichi constantly sitting next to me and pointing out how to do it and how to do it better, in the end, I succeeded.... Something is crooked and oblique, but it's strong and at least I tried, yes, before that there were insanely many failed jobs, 3? 5? Pieces, we've been sitting here a lot.*

— Oh, I did it!

*Shunsuke was happy with the resulting wreath, but Yuichi also looked at him proudly, proud that he was able to help his boyfriend learn how to make wreaths, at least some*

— Cool! Now you're close to fully learning the art of weaving!

*Yuichi talked enough, but Shunsuke just smiled wider, placing a wreath on the head of a loved one.*

— It suits you. Thank you for teaching me how to make wreaths! I'll try to do them more often in the future to make them better.

*Yuichi looked at his head, then nodded shyly, he decided to give his first wreath to him... Cute. It will take him a long time to get used to this care and attention, but it will do him good, after all, he looks very cute when he is embarrassed, which only makes him smile more. After that, we continued on the road just chatting, but we had quite a lot of fun until we came to the very place. There were a lot of old stones and bricks from former work lying around, going inside you could see a spacious building with many rooms, empty holes where windows and doors should have been, sometimes there was no floor, and in some places trees grew. In addition, there was a lot of broken glass, graffiti, drawings on the stone walls and. There was a lot of darkness, there were a lot of dark rooms, and there were only some bright ones that didn't have a roof or part of it, giving light inside. This building looked like a big horror map where you have to run away from a maniac, and knowing that someone Shunsuke doesn't know once hanged himself here makes it tense, and the atmosphere here is not very pleasant. Yuichi liked this place and it inspired his creativity.*

— Wow! This is a really cool Shun shun place! I want to paint one of these rooms, oh! Look! It's like the light at the end of a tunnel! Isn't it great?

*Shunsuke looked at Yuichi, who was happy to know about this place*

— Do you paint?

— Oh, yes! I mostly draw animals, flowers, buildings, and I don't like to draw people, and I don't like people at all. It just got boring one day, so I wanted to try it, because Aya likes to do it, besides, when you spend most of your time alone, you want to do more hobbies than you currently have. Only if she likes to paint alone and in silence, I get pretty bored, I don't like silence, so I like to put something on the background or chat a lot.

*Yuichi said with an approving glance and found a small group of bricks, Shunsuke helped Yuichi make a small place to sit and then they sat down together. Shunsuke helped the boy to be quiet and constantly chatted about all sorts of nonsense, talking about school or what he had played yesterday while he was drawing and only rarely gave any comments. It was unusual for you because you're not used to talking a lot, but it was quite enjoyable! In the end, it turned out well, although it took a long time and the lines were crooked. In the end, it's time to climb up to the top of the world. Yuichi was a little scared at first, but Shunsuke was there, so they quickly climbed up, seeing the really cute view, they made it just in time for sunset, so the sun was slowly sinking, turning the sky orange.*

— Wow! It's really beautiful!

— I told you

*Shunsuke spoke quite and proudly. There wasn't really anything interesting to see after that, so I just decided to walk Yuichi home, since we live close by, and on the way we stopped at a store. I told him not to take anything for me, and I even took apple juice so as not to seem completely detached, but in the end he left me with no choice, sharing various goodies, chips and sweets.*

— By the way, Shunsuke, look! They were 1 ruble each. Which one do you like? Red or white?

*The boy was holding two chewing gum in his hands and each gum had a ring attached, one with a red rose and the other with a white one.*

— Come on, white, red suits you better.

— Well, okay! I made my own choice!

*Yuichi said, giving Shunsuka a piece of gum with a white rose ring. It seemed familiar to him, but he couldn't figure out why, maybe it wasn't that important. But we put the rings on together, and this one looked really cute.*

— I think it's too early for a wedding, we haven't really met.

*Yuichi was thinking out loud*

— We can save them for the wedding if you want.

— That would be great! But I won't take mine off.

*Shunsuke looked at Yuichi, smiling and nodding*

— Then I'll have mine too.

*The day was hard, but at the same time it was very fun, the heavy load that had been hanging for so long was sleeping, but it was very early to sigh*

//So, I don't like it, initially this work was supposed to be longer and it should have had more interesting scenes, but everything went in one place and I shortened the moment. They were supposed to talk about something personal with Yuichi already at the drop-off sitting on the roof, and in the end they already confessed sitting around dandelions, yeah. But there are many things that I wanted to discuss with you! That photo of dandelions was taken by me and cropped well, I thought that if I could add photos to the story, it could add atmosphere, but you know, I don't want to take photos from the Internet, but I want to use my own, because I love photographing nature, but lately I understand that it is dangerous and not always my photos they are suitable, so this feature is still possible for this short story. Yes, I highlighted the confession BECAUSE SHUNSUKE DOESN'T CONFESS EVERY DAY, WE NEED TO CELEBRATE SUCH DAYS WITH A CALLENDOREM KNOWING HOW DIFFICULT IT WAS FOR HIM, I hope IT'S clear. Russian Russian, but in English, I've already pulled off a similar trick with a fairy tale when I wrote hints in Russian, remember? The fact is that every version of Yuichi from au that I come up with has analogues of the phrase "Let's sing", but it's not always possible to use them. For example, Princess Yuichi has this phrase: "Lisons ensemble", which translates from French as "Let's read together", French because at that time there was a fashion for everything French, there was no way to demonstrate this phrase well, because Yuichi grew up here and it does not have much meaning as in childhood and he does not pay attention to it so much attention. I will keep silent about Yuichi from the rescuer, because there is a chance to use her if there is. Here's "Let's have fun!" (I think you've realized that Yuichi is a fandom player here and this phrase refers a little to fnaf, but not the point, I thought that just writing this phrase in parentheses would be sooo boring and uninteresting, since this au is kind of like Russian modernity, so English, although I could use German)

I explained the basics, but it was also very lazy and hard for me to write it, I constantly took long breaks, abandoning it, but moving on and continuing. In general, this fanfiction was originally supposed to be based on the song and was supposed to be a test of whether I could write a love/hate but in the end, everything went the other way and I fell far behind the song that inspired me, because she lost the adoration for me that I felt for her, I will not speak or voice the song and its translation, because I am embarrassed, but I can safely say that it is "Alyona Shvets - Dandelion", That's it. I was also inspired by the abandoned building where I spent a lot of time as a teenager in my native village, it was the same unfinished school, but I thought this place was romantic when you could help your partner climb up and hold his hand while he was afraid to climb and he was afraid (it's even good that I didn't have a real boyfriend or girls with such preferences in romance / to).

I wrote the last part in a hurry because I wanted to finish it quickly! Thanks for your attention.

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