The English Are Coming

The gentlemanly and mostly equitable blog of Arthur Kirkland, representative of England and the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. In which I shall be harrassed by America, blame France and cry into cups of tea. Magic anon status:...

[theenglisharecoming]

-Arthur’s feeling towards the Eurovision currently.-

[theenglisharecoming]

-Shoulders tense as he scrabbles at the Australian trying to break free of this sudden physical attack.-

I don’t know where on this forsaken Earth that this is seen as proper behaviour.. but wherever it is.. you should go back there!

[mateship]

     ‘ “Pʀᴏᴘᴇʀ”?  Oʜ, ɴᴏ, I’m never proper.  I thought you’d’ve learnt that already, old man.’  Kyle lets Arthur go, patting the blond man’s cheek with a wink.

[theenglisharecoming]

-Isn’t sure why he is still being touched. It’s like a record on repeat in his mind right now, reminding him over and over again that he is being patted. Like a dog.-

Well.. I suppose there had to be a reason I shipped you off in the first place.

[theenglisharecoming]

-This man is clearly insane.-

[mateship]

     ‘Aᴡ.  Wʜᴀᴛ’s ᴛʜᴇ matter, pops?  You mad?’  Kyle’s going to pull Arthur in for a noogie.

[theenglisharecoming]

-Shoulders tense as he scrabbles at the Australian trying to break free of this sudden physical attack.-

I don’t know where on this forsaken Earth that this is seen as proper behaviour.. but wherever it is.. you should go back there!

[theenglisharecoming]

You disgust me in every possible way.

[mateship]

     [Blows him a kiss.]  ♥

[theenglisharecoming]

-This man is clearly insane.-

[theenglisharecoming]

Now listen here you little shit, the very least you can do is to give me 12 points. 

-No matter how bad his song is he still deserves to win. The only reason he doesn’t is because all of these other bastards hate him. Australia and Ireland are -obliged- to support him because damn it that’s how this works!-

[mateship]

     ‘N’ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ you can do is kiss my hairy, tanned arse, old man.’

[theenglisharecoming]

You disgust me in every possible way.

[theenglisharecoming]

-Let’s just assume the answer to that question is yes.-

[mateship]

     ‘Woah!’

     ‘At least wait ‘til I haven’t voted for you ‘cause I totally won’t before you bash me.  Settle your kettle!’

[theenglisharecoming]

Now listen here you little shit, the very least you can do is to give me 12 points. 

-No matter how bad his song is he still deserves to win. The only reason he doesn’t is because all of these other bastards hate him. Australia and Ireland are -obliged- to support him because damn it that’s how this works!-

[theenglisharecoming]

-Let’s just assume the answer to that question is yes.-

[theenglisharecoming]

This is your doing … isn’t it?

[themaidencity-deactivated201803]

I have no idea what you’re talking about— SexyFuntime47WithStockings.

[theenglisharecoming]

Well you know what you can't do, don't you, you little brat?

You can go and service Doris yourself!

[theenglisharecoming]

I can too, bloody well take, all of my partner’s penis!

You pair of Irish wankers!

And why does Doris keep telling me to come round to help her ‘hang up her stockings?’

[themaidencity-deactivated201803]

No reason.

[theenglisharecoming]

This is your doing ... isn't it?

[theenglisharecoming]

I can too, bloody well take, all of my partner's penis!

You pair of Irish wankers!

And why does Doris keep telling me to come round to help her 'hang up her stockings?'

[theenglisharecoming]

Ye need to eat more.

Thank you for that assessment.. I don’t recall employing a dietician though.

[themaidencity-deactivated201803]

What’s wrong with being wild and hairy?

*  It’s not like he’s not a yeti beneath all this himself. *

Just shut yer gob and eat, that is a proper meal where I come from.

[theenglisharecoming]

The whole.. wild and hairy part..

*Liked to keep himself a little more trim. Of course he had nowhere near as much body hair as Ciaran and Hugh to begin with.*

All right, I'm eating, I'm eating.

[theenglisharecoming]

Ye need to eat more.

Thank you for that assessment.. I don’t recall employing a dietician though.

[themaidencity-deactivated201803]

Oi ye cheeky wee fuck, yer older than me.

* Very quickly a plate piled high with food was shoved in front of him, he turned off the hob and put the kettle on, crossing his arms as he waited for the verdict. *

Get that down ye, it’ll put hairs on yer chest.

[theenglisharecoming]

I'd rather not look wild and hairy like our Scottish brother.

*Half smiles as he starts to eat the food the Irishman has given him. There's too much on the plate for him to get through but he's going to give it a go.*

[theenglisharecoming]

* Sends him a get well soon card, and he's written inside. "Get well soon, so I can play with you some more." *

*Rips the card up and tosses it into the bin before going to look for one of his lover’s guns.*

[theenglisharecoming]

Ye need to eat more.

Thank you for that assessment.. I don’t recall employing a dietician though.

[themaidencity-deactivated201803]

Just so you know, i’m not leaving till ye eat it all.

* And he was adamant about that, all but waving the spatula like a weapon as he spoke. *

Yer no to old to be grounded.

[theenglisharecoming]

Alright Dad..

Bloody hell.. If you cook it I'll eat it, it's rude to refuse to eat something that has been made for you. I do have manners you know.

*Flashes him a tiny smile, actually quite enjoying this it seemed.*

[theenglisharecoming]

Ye need to eat more.

Thank you for that assessment.. I don’t recall employing a dietician though.

[theenglisharecoming]

I can eat.. pretty much anything. *You had to be able to with cooking like his.* Though I’m not particularly a fan of anything overly greasy.. unless it’s an English breakfast, I can forgive one of those every so often.

[themaidencity-deactivated201803]

I’m not cooking ye that cac Arthur Kirkland, ye having what I make and like it. 

* Was already putting together something that he usually made his family when they were feeling a bit shit and nothing was better than home made grub. * 

[theenglisharecoming]

… Right.

*Was still a little flustered that anyone was even bothered enough to visit and make breakfast. Still the Irishman was one of the few memebers of his family who didn’t hate his guts.*

I’ll just.. sit down then.

[theenglisharecoming]

Ye need to eat more.

Thank you for that assessment.. I don’t recall employing a dietician though.

[theenglisharecoming]

Well.. I can’t -recall- eating. *In other words he’d probably not eaten since some time yesterday. Follows the Irishman, not really sure what else to do.*

[themaidencity-deactivated201803]

* Assumed they were following as he rolls up both sleeves and starts making himself known in the kitchen. *

Is there anything ye don’t like..allergies?

[theenglisharecoming]

I can eat.. pretty much anything. *You had to be able to with cooking like his.* Though I'm not particularly a fan of anything overly greasy.. unless it's an English breakfast, I can forgive one of those every so often.

[theenglisharecoming]

Ye need to eat more.

Thank you for that assessment.. I don’t recall employing a dietician though.

[themaidencity-deactivated201803]

I take it ye haven’t eaten today, if that’s the case then — come with me.

* And he’s going to head into the kitchen to make him something. *

[theenglisharecoming]

Well.. I can't -recall- eating. *In other words he'd probably not eaten since some time yesterday. Follows the Irishman, not really sure what else to do.*