The En Guards

We're Stan and Pete! We guard things! (Selective and independent RP blog. OC friendly! Please feel free to contact me if you're in a roleplay with someone else and just need Stan and Pete for a post or two! Happy to help and make your roleplays richer!)

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alt!

“If you don’t hurry up I am going to shove my leg down your throat and wear you as a decorative stocking.”

[Meet Durand Popplewell! Known as Mr. P to his friends if he had any. Nah, I kid. His best friend is a glass of wine and valium.

He is five feet and two inches of condensed evil, and probably what would happen if you fused Yzma and David Bowie together. Genderqueer grandpa, he’s been gay as a blade since before you were born and an asshole for even longer. The only thing he’s better at than being evil is being a loving, adoring, extremely slightly overbearing and overprotective grandpa to his ward and orphaned grandson.]

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Send me "alt!" and I'll introduce you to a character I've rped in the past, want to play in the future or are currently playing somewhere else!

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Personal Headcanons about the Boys

[As in, these are things I may or may not incorporate into play and liable to change as per canon as the show goes on, but they’re things that make my heart happy.]

About Stan

Stan is about mid-thirties to mid-forties. He’s probably about the Captain’s age, whether he’s a little younger or older. Joined the guard back in his late teens/early twenties.

His full name is Constantino del Gordos. (Referencing another character that Diedrich Bader played.)

He has had his sciatica problems most of his life. An injury as a child kind of messed up his tailbone, leaving a spot on his lower back very vulnerable.

Bisexual.

He is completely tone-deaf.

Startled easily.

About Pete

Pete is late twenties to early thirties, joined the guard in his early twenties.

Full name is Peter Puisín (it’s pwuh-sheen; don’t worry literally not a single person can get it right besides his mother).

Pete picked up Mr. Happypaws in an alley somewhere, probably after smoking out a bandit’s hide-out or raiding a thieves’ den. The drooling, toothless kitty with the weird mitten-paws who sounded like a pug stole his heart and he kept Mr. Happypaws in his arms for the rest of his shift until the Captain told him to just DO something with the cat but you can’t take it on patrol with you.

Gay, ace.

Borders on passive-aggressive sometimes but doesn’t realize what he’s doing.

Very much likes when there’s nothing to do. He’d rather have a slow day on watch in the castle than dealing with monsters or fighting or battle or what have you.

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Please like/reblog this if you're willing to roleplay with villain characters without acting like the mun is a terrible person.

I writing evil or nearly evil characters more fun than writing good guys. I’m sick of feeling like people are going to judge me for my characters. I have a right to rp what I want and explain my characters actions, but not try to justify them. Because I know why a character acts a certain way doesn’t mean I think they are excused. The world isn’t black and white.

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Book

[Both are readers! Stan moreso than Pete, though he likes fashion plates and whatever the equivalent of Vogue is. Rogue? Pete usually goes for cookbooks and picturebooks he reads for Mr. Happypaws.]

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Just wanted to say that I'm ridiculously pleased that someone's RPing these boys, and I think you do a wonderful job with them!

[Thank you! They are good boys doing their best but sometimes their best is sneaking chocolate-chip pancakes to a prisoner in solitary.]

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Send 🖋 and a word and I’ll tell you some headcanons relating to it!

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[P.S. I wholly welcome comments from partners and outsiders on threads! I’d prefer no reblogs from people not in the thread but honestly if you like a thread of mine that much that you wanna show it off, I ain’t care at all!]

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"Are you an angel because I think you fell from heaven" (for Pete from my OC, Winter) ((This is just for fun))

“I didn’t fall anywhere though…” Pete looked away, brow knit.

“She’s flirting with you, Pete.”

“Oh. … Is that allowed when we’re on duty.”

“Well I mean, we’re not allowed to but technically everyone else can do whatever they want.” Stan shrugged, leaning on his halberd.

“Ohhhhh…” Pete nodded slowly, cheek to staff. “… Whaddo I do then.”

Stan shrugged and Pete stared at Winter for a while, nodding slowly.

“… My cat has no teeth.” He smiled politely, Stan slowly turning his eyes to Pete with the most bewildered expression he’d made that week.

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Wishlist

Anything that gets these boys bickering

Threads with Cap

Threads with Arianna

Threads with Raps

Mr. Happypaws getting out and Pete sort of oblivious but Stan beside himself with worry; another character joins in to help look for Mr. Happypaws

Young Cass and Stan and Pete and Stan and Pete probably getting their backsides kicked by young Cass

Shenanigans and monkeyshines

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[my bABIES]

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“So what’d you think of the Countess’ dress, Stan?” Pete asked idly as he and Stan closed the main doors of the castle after a small parade of attendants behind the Countess of Aguilo.

“Excellent choice in patterns, though I’d have chosen a chartreuse or olive stomacher, not the burgundy.” Stan responded casually, nodding to no one.

“I wonder if I’d look good in a dress like that...”

“Nah, you’re more Winter colors, you’re gonna want jewel tones to go with your eyes. Your eyes are really pretty blue, those are what you wanna focus on.”

“Aw, you think they’re pretty?”

“Definitely. Try plum and emerald, maybe some sky blues, those would really look good on you.”

“So purple and green?”

“Uh, no, duh, plum and emerald, those are completely different colors, Pete.”

“Are you saying I’m color-blind because that’s the tone I’m getting from you right now. I have feelings, Stan.”

“You having feelings has nothing to do with the fact that purple and plum are not the same thing, Pete! Even if it makes you sad, apples and oranges still aren’t the same thing.”

“Oh, so you think I don’t know an apple from an orange?”

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Source

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[Pete is the dreamer and the creative. He’s a little more oblivious, a little more spacey, but more prone to following the rules. Partly because he’s younger and knows he can’t get away with as much as Stan, who’s been around longer.

Stan is the more... sensitive of the two. More dedicated to being a guard but he feels things stronger than Pete and has a greater sense of empathy. He has a little more maturity to make up for that sensitivity though.

A little.]

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For Munday, anonymously ask the mun something you want to know about them, their portrayal, or what they will/won’t write.

Especially if it’s something you’re too shy or afraid to ask off-anon. 

(Admin note: If you reblog this from someone, try to send them something, even if it’s just a basic question. The mun will really appreciate it.)

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“Hrp.” Stan grunted, hand to his stomach. “Mm.”

“You okay?” Came Pete, looking sidelong. Stan had been making noises for the past minute as they stood on guard in front of the castle, leading Pete to worry.

“Yeah it’s fine, I think I just--urp--ate too many hors d’ouevres.”

“Aw, Stan, you know what happens when you eat too much...”

“Mm--I’ll be fine, don’t--”

“I think I have an antacid if you want it.”

“No I’m--(hic-urp).” Stan groaned, a burping hiccup coming out. “Great...”

“I told you, you can’t have so much prosciutto, it makes your stomach upset.”

“But it was (hic-urp) so goo-hoo-hoood... (hic-urp) Mmmmgh...”

“I’ll get the antacid...”

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[Ohhhh, I suppose I should let the cat out of the bag SOMETIME... If you haven't guessed it already, it is I, @tangledtech. :3 ]