The Estreen

My name is Cassie. I wish I could tell you my whole name. Because that would mean I was a nice, normal girl. But I'm not either one. Not nice. Not normal. The Yeerks are here. We're at war. And I'm one tiny part of the tiny, failing resistance. (Important character information here)

[conflicted-controller-blog]

Panic! At The (Pool) Party

[tobiaseverhart]

Tobias choose his own stall to morph in, managing to land on the floor with hopefully enough space to demorph easily. <Have I mentioned that I really hate flies?> Tobias grumbled as he started demorphing, the fractured eyes going first. As he continued to focus on his true form, the red tailed hawk, the fly wings shriveled against his back, and the legs sucked back into his body, leaving his as a fly meat loaf.

As the exoskeleton softened and the familiar itch of his feathers returning combined with the familiar feeling of the ground getting father and farther away as he grew and thickened into his hawk body, Tobias let out an internal sigh. He really really hates fly morph.

<See Rachel, you say that, but if you did that, it;d just be the newest fashion trend for the school.> Tobias joked, trying to keep the tone light before sending a private message just to Rachel. <We’re gonna be fine.We’ve totally done stupider stuff than this before, walk in the park right?> Tobias said, trying to reassure Rachel just as much as himself.

<Marco do you have baggies for us slug folks?> Tobias asked. <I already have these scabby legs, no way am I letting myself dry out as a yeerk too. There’s not enough lotion in the world to remoisturize that.> Tobias joked. <And I think the fact that I just made a joke about dry skin means we need to start watching different commercials Ax-Man.>

Tobias fluttered out of the stall, coming to land on Rachels shoulder. <Just tell me when I need to morph again.>

[theestreen]

The fly, unlike a lot of other animals they had morphed before, did not have an instant, deep-seated instinct to panic. In fact, for the most part even while being attacked the swift-winged creature didn't have any reaction except a "oh, better get out the way, then", which was mild under the circumstances. This meant that the fly was easy to control. This also meant that the mind-skittering panic Cassie was feeling had everything to do with her own instinct and nothing to do with the fly. Luckily, this also meant that she could take some attention off being a fly and instead devote it to not completely falling apart in a very embarrassing and more than exasperating way. This was, theoretically, no more dangerous than anything they'd done in the past. But Cassie was terrified. Terrified they'd get caught, terrified one or more of them would get stuck in morph - even for the humans, that would be devastating - and terrified she'd let the Peace Movement down as well as her friends. Why had she thought this would be a good idea? Why had she promised to get mud for Mr Tidwell and Illim? This was crazy. This whole plan was insane. And if they failed, it would be one heck of a lot her fault. The Animorphs and the Peace Movement would both be cut into, and the overwhelming desire in her was just to make it stop. Cassie wanted to reach out and just make it stop; curl both parties away behind safety where none of her friends would ever be hurt again. She stayed silent as Marco talked to Mr Tidwell and Illim, not trusting herself to speak. The morph was done dispassionately - fly could only bring forth nightmares, not myths or pretty patterns - and then she was human and suddenly shaking at the knees. Pull yourself together, she told herself sternly. Or they will know just how terrified you are. And this was your plan.  Tucking her hands together to hide the shaking, she exited the stall and glanced at everyone. "And an extra baggie for Jake, please," she reminded Marco, glancing at Jake in silent reminder of the plan to get Illim some mud from the pool she'd told him about. She was hoping that when he scooped her back up he'd either be able to get some mud as well, or that during recon he'd find a way to slip some in the second bag. It was, after all, Jake - he found ways to do the impossible during meetings. Biting her lip, Cassie glanced at each of her friends, knowing how much all of them would hate this next part. One by one, she sent them silent apologies, ending with Ax because, somehow, he made her feel the most guilty. As soon as she laid eyes on him, she had the irrational desire to leap across to Jake and cover his eyes. "Ax," she blurted, eyes skittering away and embarrassment starting to rise. "You forgot to..." She shook her head, knowing it would just start an argument they didn't have time or enough un-frayed nerves for right then. Instead, she deftly stepped right in front of Ax's form, hiding it from everybody else's eyes and very deliberately not looking to see who'd been gawking. "Um, okay. Well... Should... I go first?" She'd been Yeerk before, after all. Never in front of them, but she supposed it might be somewhat soothing for her to show them it wasn't a difficult morph, per se. And that she didn't suddenly turn soul-sucking evil or anything.

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

Jake laughed out loud once, stifling the sound with his fist, biting on the knuckle. “Sorry Cassie, the only time I’ve ever heard the term ‘meaty bits’ was in reference to something that I’m under threat of mutilation from Rachel if I talk about. Or even jokingly mention probably,” Jake said, his face still breaking out into a grin every so often even as he looked somewhere else to regain his composure. “And we have legs, I just didn’t talk about them. Those are Elfangor. He’s the one that gave us the power to fight, the power to move forward with all this. So I think he’s the proverbial legs with all this.”

"No way, you can’t use my obligation to Ax to make me accept the awkwardness of being called prince," Jake replied, smiling. "And you and Tobias certainly are alike, I’ve gotta agree with you on that. And I guess Marco takes after whoever the dad is supposed to be?" Jake said, grinning back at Cassie. "Or adopted works I guess."

"But if I don’t go completely over the top how am I supposed to make you blush?" Jake asked innocently. "Paid who? Marco? No, you never told me that. And I didn’t take any advice on compliments or anything from Marco. If I had, I probably wouldn’t be as worried about putting my foot in mouth as I am." Jake replied. "And what exactly do girls write on the bathroom walls? Cause I know what guys write, and I really doubt it’s similar."

Jake paused, taking his own bits of pasta as he thought through what he wanted to say. “I think… I think that it was a good policy at first, trying to not seem like we got really close to fast, especially right after since we had been at the mall and it made sense that we might’ve been at the construction site. But I think that now, it’s been two and a half years. We’ve gotten a lot of teasing, and a lot of stuff like that, and most importantly, time. Us doing this doesn’t seem sudden, it doesn’t seem like we fell for each other over night. We have a good defense of reason why we’d be dating, so I think that continuing to do this might be a good idea. Not just for our ability to not have to hide as much, but also, for us. It gives us these moments where not everything is on the line and we can be kids for a few hours.” Jake shrugged, taking a few bites of his food, chewing thoughtfully. “Although the downside is that it might lead to our parents being more suspicious if we’re out late at night.”

[theestreen]

Cassie wrinkled her nose, trying not to let her dawning horror show on her face. If she ignored the possible implication, she could live down her word choice. “I don’t think I want to know. At all,” she said truthfully, raising her hands in a gesture of surrender. “Jake Berenson. That was almost poetic,” she laughed, imagining Andalite legs attached to the image of the horrific blended body in her head. “How much time did you spend thinking that one out?” she teased.

  “You take all things that come with obligation – you can’t pick and choose which bits you want,” Cassie teased. “I… don’t even know who I’d have to have a kid with to get Marco…” She laughed again at the bizarreness of the situation. “I’m sure he’d want it to be… whose the guy who plays Bond?” She shook her head. “Adopted. Definitely.”

  “Honestly?” Cassie’s laugh turned nervous as she pushed around a bit of food with her fork. “Just… continue being around. I’m sure the blushing will keep coming…” She snorted, tried to cover up the sound, and just ended up making a strange sort of noise, which she promptly had to stop herself from laughing at. “Please. Please don’t ever take lessons in complimenting from Marco. He just… No. You’re doing much better.” She looked away quickly at the words she hadn’t meant to admit, and quickly shoved another forkful of food in her mouth to cover up her slip. “Depends which bathroom. Usually it’s Best Kiss or Avoid at All Costs or Who Grew Hotter Over the Summer or Top Ten Overall Best or So and So is a Slut.” Cassie shrugged. “It’s very stereotypical in there.” She eyed him. “Why, what do guys write?”

  Cassie’s lips quirked.  “I’ve already gotten the talk from my parents about being out late at night with you. As long as I can prove Rachel and another group member were around, I should be okay.” She bit her lip. “But… I… I meant to ask… like… is… that what you want? I mean, to… do things that would… make parents suspicious… ‘Cause… we’re not… you know, normal. So we don’t have to… do the typical teenage thing or label it in any way or… I mean, I… We could just… be what we were. If you want.” She stared at her food and slowly moved it around to make patterns. 

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

"I hope we would still have this," Jake agreed, blushing a bit. "And I agree, it’s made all of us more intense, everything about us is more intense. The relationships, the trust, the love I have for all of you guys is so strong, but I think that’s the only thing that wouldn’t have changed, with or without this war." Jake said, shrugging. "So I’m like the torso? The middle of the body?" Jake mused, his eyebrows furrowed together. "That would make Marco the brain, and Tobias the eyes. Rachel I think would be the arms, holding us up, Ax would probably be the hands for us then, he’s delicate, but he’s also able to do so much for us that we wouldn’t be able to without him. I guess that would make you the heart then, huh?" Jake asked, glancing up at Cassie.

"You what?" Jake asked before he saw Cassie looking down, obviously thinking of something. "You don’t have to tell me you know. Sometimes my mouth works faster than my brain." Jake said, mentally berating himself for his lack of thinking. "And I’ll take Rachel, we’re related already, but I’ve gotta take Ax too. I’m his Prince, I can’t just leave him. And would you really leave me with three kids to your one?" Jake joked, nudging Cassie’s foot as he smiled. "Although you can take Rachel if you want."

"Nah, no need to worry. Marco has made it clear I’m really not his type," Jake replied, grinning back. "Although I’m curious how you and Rachel planned to ‘dispose’ of Brittany and co." Jake wrinkled his own nose, thinking. "I just mean that you think things through more. You don’t just fly by the seat of your pants. You’re… deliberate in the stuff you do."

"Nah, can’t listen too much or they might start getting actual expectations of me. I can’t have that happen, now can I?" Jake joked. "And I did kinda wait for that moment. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, I’m sorry. I’ll save my next completely over the top compliment til you’re not taking a bite of anything, okay?" Jake said, suddenly completely serious. "But I really do think the company is part of why this meal is so good, seriously. And I never take relationship advice from Marco, or Ax. Too many soaps and too much Baywatch for me to trust them with something as important as our date."

[theestreen]

There was enough left of a thirteen-year-old girl who viewed every aspect of the world except the obvious in black and white to make Cassie smile. Maybe, somewhere in some timeline, they'd missed the construction site altogether. Tom wasn't infested, Tobias still somehow became part of the group, they all grew as close as they were right then... 

The daydream was too flimsy to last. Jake was wrong, she decided. Friends they may have still become, but they would have drawn lines much clearer and less jagged. The war had turned them into a relationship most humans never got to experience, and none could put words to. Otherworldly. Desperate. Just as full as hate as it was compassion and love. And, layered beneath in a place nobody would talk about, full of the knowledge on how to use each other as pieces to win a chess game. 

Cassie continued to smile, deciding not to comment. The feeling curling in her gut was not something she could explain. It had been there when she'd spent time with Yami, and hadn't really gone away since. 

"You're the meaty bits, Big Jake," she teased, glad she hadn't slipped into calling him the abs, or something Rachel-esque. She really needed to learn her own lines and ways of flirting, she decided. Because right then she knew only how to flirt as wannabe-Rachel or by putting her foot in it. "Uh... so... our body has no legs?" she giggled, imagining Rachel's slim, tanned arms attached to Jake's body, Marco's head and Tobias' hawk eyes. And they thought mid-morph was a freaky thing to see. 

She ignored his question - there was no way they were talking weddings. Even jokingly. She'd been forced into adult headspace about too many things, and was afraid how that might make her view something as innocent as a teenage girl planning her wedding. Besides, even she knew that was the one ticket to scaring boys off. "You definitely have Rachel," she agreed. "And I'm totally reminding you of that statement next time you huff at Ax for calling your 'Prince'. But, fine, Ax is yours, too. Tobias and I... Well, he's my kid. Almost definitely. Marco... Is not." She grinned at him, wide and obviously kidding. "The adopted one?" she suggested of Marco. 

"How about we just save the over the top compliments?" she asked with a bemused look, wondering vaguely if he'd gotten tips from Marco. "Did I ever tell you Rachel paid him to... lavish compliments on me after she talked me into buying a new outfit that one time? I'm listening for repeats, Jake Berenson," she teased. "Beware the wrath of the girl's bathroom wall's lists."

Important. Something wriggled in her gut, and she took her time taking a few bites of frankly delicious pasta before answering, carefully and in control of whatever things she'd waned to blurt out at first. 

"Important? I mean..." She took a deep breath, and looked him in the eyes. "No pressure right now. But, all kidding aside... Jake, you know this is... that there's a reason our group is still careful to not be seen to close to each other. And we both have... people close to us, in some way that could... hurt the other. Very badly. If, you know, they were to say something to the wrong people." She held his gaze. "So... I need to know if... you know." She couldn't keep looking him in the eyes, feeling suddenly stupid and shy and mortified. "If it's... worth the risk. Or if we're just going to... continue to be non-dating, non-talking-about-it us."

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

  "I’m what?" Jake asked, leaning forward. "If you don’t wanna tell me, you don’t have to, I just, I think maybe that we’d all still be friends without the thing we aren’t talking about, maybe not as close, but I think maybe the overall relationships would be similar." Jake said, glancing down, embarassed. "Ah, I see," Jake said, feeling a blush creeping over his skin as he thought about his joke, sudden half formed images flashing through his head, of Cassie in the dress she wore the day after the bear incident, his mind going faster than his mouth could keep up. "I didn’t realize that the idea was that terrible to you," Jake joked, trying to cover up his thoughts. "Although that does beg the question of who’s mine and who’s yours. I’m not taking Marco if that’s the case."

"I dunno," Jake replied, "Marco’s a pretty cute guy." Jake gave an involuntary shudder at the word posses, images of yeerks crawling in Rachel’s ear replacing the much more pleasent ones. "I don’t think you’re stupid, or weird," Jake said with a shrug. "Or if you are weird, at least you realize it. Plus, you’re smarter than I am."

"I’ve never seen a distrustful puppy in my life, so I can’t really comment on that," Jake said, his own half grin forming, enjoying the back and forth. "And he doesn’t seem too impressive, bet I could take him in video games. Although if he’s actually good at basketball, he has that on me at least," Jake said, snickering at Cassie’s comment about Rachel. "Don’t worry. Sometimes basketball confuses me too."

"Hey, weirder things have happened recently. I mean, did you hear about that bear attacking the school?" Jake asked, making his eyes wide, feigning surprise before getting serious again. "Sure, but fair warning, I’m probably terrible at this," Jake said, taking a deep breath, trying to remember any prayers he’d heard on TV. "Um… dear God, uh, heavenly father, thank you for this food and thank you for the wonderful person I get to share it with. I pray that it nourishes our body so that we may do your will. Thank you and uh, amen."

"It’s awesome," Jake replied after swallowing his second forkful messily. "My dad told me this place was good, but I didn’t expect it to be this good," Jake paused, waiting for Cassie to take a bite. "Although, that may just be the company I’ve got."

[theestreen]

Cassie wondered again about how things would have been without the war. Would her and Jake have been sneaking out to be together? Would they have kissed under different circumstances? Or would they never have progressed from blushing on bus rides beside each other? "We would have still been like this," she replied, firmly, because she wanted it to be true. She wanted this mismatched family of hers, and she wanted the boy sitting in front of her. "It's just that... with that Other Thing We're Not Talking About it's made us... more intense. I mean, I was best friends for Rachel for forever and I'd never seen her..." Rip out somebody's throat while cheering. "We're... a lot more intense. A lot of us that never would have been opened up has been laid bare and... and... matured. And, Jake, you're... Well, we're all kinda one big body. Different parts to one machine. We have to be; we have to all have our parts or we'd... Disintegrate. And you're... you're the centre. The pillar. You're what we're all tied to."

"Terrible? I..." She caught herself before she could blurt what she'd been about to blurt, averting her eyes and trying not to think of the times she'd scrawled Cassie Berenson on her school notes. "I'm not taking Marco. Marco is not my kid. Him and Rachel are all yours. Tobias and Ax belong to me. And you know that's the way it is."

Cassie giggled. "Should I be worried, Jake Berenson? Here I was, plotting with Rachel how to dispose of Brittany and Co, and meanwhile the threat is actually right in front of my nose." She shook her head, still amused. "Like I said- humans are weird. But I don't think I'm smarter than you." Her forehead wrinkled. "What does that even mean anyway? What's the scale based on?"

Her grin was warm and mouth-aching as he prayed, feeling how his fingers twitched nervously beneath hers. He could face down the approximation of Satan, her Jake, and still be this. She prayed, to whomever was listening, that he'd keep the balance once this was all over. She had no disillusions that he'd return to Old Jake, but just as long as he was able to be both - both the tiger and the dog, both the general and the awkward, too-big schoolboy - she'd take it. 

"I guess we should listen to our parents more, then, huh?" She had to struggle to swallow her next bite, staring at him with slightly accusing eyes. "Do you time those to be at the worst possible moment? Didn't Rachel explain that you're supposed to give the over-the-top compliments when there's no risk of the girl spitting up her food or doing any other activity to make her look the fool? Or did you take advice from Ax and Marco?"

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

  Jake nodded at Cassie’s words, smiling at her. “Hey, if I didn’t keep us focused, who would?” Jake asked, tapping his fingers against his thigh. “And I think all the pieces would work together just as good without me. I like to think I’m just facilitating it a bit.And I guess that’s true about someone needing to do it” Jake turned his hand on the table, his fingers brushing against her palm, curling his fingers to hold her hand. Jake snorted, trying very hard to keep a straight face. “Did you just take us from a first date to married Cassie?” Jake asked, his eyes twinkling with mirth. “And here my parents were telling me that I should be the one being careful to not rush you.”

Jake shrugged a bit, leaning on the table a bit, catching Cassie’s eye. “I don’t have anything to say to that. I guess I’ve never really interacted with someone who really only liked me for my interests, well other than Marco, but he really doesn’t count.” Jake said, pausing. “Put those guys, that look at Rachel like that, they look at her like that because they don’t really know her. She’s an ideal to be won, something on a pedestal to be admired, and you know how she’d hate that. Looking at someone like that, I don’t think it means a thing unless you know the person.”

Jake grinned, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. “Oh really? What’s so funny about this guys concentration face? And what are these oh so amazing talents he has?” Jake asked, deciding to play it up a bit.

Jake grinned at the emotions playing over Cassie’s face. Anyone outside of the animorphs would’ve missed it, but Jake was good at teasing out the emotions of everyone. “Thank you very much,” Jake said, nodding at the waiter with a smile. “I guess so,” Jake replied, pausing til the waiter was out of ear shot. “I mean, if you’re really feeling that we could always get this take out, and go sit in the back alley in morph.” Jake said with a grin, nudging Cassie’s foot with his, pausing to say grace with her.

[theestreen]

“Nobody, that’s the whole point,” she agreed with a grin. Then Cassie shook her head, firmly. “You don’t see it, Jake, but you’re…” She broke off, hesitated, then forced a grin. “But we’re not talking about that, right?” He didn’t need reminding, she was sure, how important he was to their survival. Certainly didn’t need her cementing the fact that he was more than just facilitator; that without them they’d collapse. She remembered the look in his eyes when he told her he couldn’t afford to be afraid for their sakes, after all. She jerked out of her reverie by his words, gaping at him as, in the back of her mind, half-formed fantasies again began to surface. “N…No, I just meant, you know, talking about separate children. Like… two parents… conversing… over… um….” She trailed off, looking at him, trying to will herself not to say something dumb like I’d love to be married to you, Jake Berenson.

“You sure Marco isn’t your celebrity crush?” she joked weakly, trying to pull the conversation out of the awkward depth it was digging itself into. “I know. Jake, I know that they… want to possess her. And I know I don’t want that. And I know it’s… kinda the same as loving famous people for how they look or how they sing or whatever. But it’s still…” She tugged at her hair, self-consciously, and then brought it up as evidence.  “I’m still stupidly human, still stupidly swayed by movies and advertisements and… and… hormones, I suppose. I know I don’t want it, but I do.” She gave him a half smile. “I sewed somebody else’s hair onto my head to look good for a wedding. That should… pretty much sum it up.” Her laugh was genuine. “Girls are weird. Humans are weird. That’s all it really boils down to.”

Cassie grinned along with him, caught up in his game of playing along. “It kind of… scrunches. Like a turtle face. Especially one side of his nose. Kinda… like a distrustful puppy,” she teased. “He’s very talented in dying in video games. And… getting an orange spherical object into a high, round object.” She winced. “Rachel tried to explain it to me, but she hasn’t got a lot of interest in basketball so her sarcasm didn’t help matters. I tried.”

“A wolf and a dog sharing pasta? Nobody would suspect a thing,” she giggled, gripping his hands tighter. It felt even more right, to be holding his hands like that. More powerful. And it suddenly hit her what they were doing – connecting, in public, over things normal humans connected over. She grinned wider. “Would you do the honours?” she asked.

“How’s yours?” She grinned around her second forkful. “Because I’m pretty sure you’re missing out – this is amazing.” 

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

Jake blanched at Cassie’s words, shuddering after a moment at the dad comment. “Yeah, let’s uh, let’s play it safe. I wouldn’t wanna get kicked out of the restaurant. And I do not Dad you guys, seriously, am I really that bad?”

"Yes," Jake replied, grinning. "Both. And I’m sure it’s more than just five guys, give yourself some credit. And what’s wrong with them liking you for your interests?" Jake asked, quirking an eyebrow. "And I really hope not, if you feel in love with Marco he’d be totally insufferable." Jake replied, laughing, mentally taking another deep breath as he kept going over "normal teenager" things in his head, remembering Cassie and his deal from earlier.

"Oh…" Jake said after a moment, glancing down at the table. "I’m curious who this super awesome guy is, must be quite interesting," Jake replied, grinning.

"No reason to thank me," Jake replied, reaching out and taking both of Cassie’s hands in his, squeezing softly. "I care about you a lot Cassie, and other people that wanna be weird about it, well, ignore them."

[theestreen]

"I... wouldn't call it bad." Cassie paused, tracing her finger along the rim of the salt shaker, trying to figure out how much she could say without pulling things back into the Forbidden Territory of that evening. "The humour and joking and... weirdness... we have is... needed. It really is. But it also has to stop. And you... you keep it in line. Keep us in line. Make all the little pieces work together." She smiled at him reassuringly. "Somebody has to be the parent." She touched the back of his hand. "It's a good thing about you. And... since I've been told I mom you guys too much, we could... form a club? Complain about our crazy kids?" She put on a posh voice. "Oh, mine's reached the Perpetually Stuck As A Bird phase. Teenagers."

Cassie laughed and shook her head. "They don't like me, like me. They... well, they think I'm cool 'cause I like what they like." She ducked her head, embarrassed. "And I think they're cool, 'cause they're into bits of biology I just don't get, and all that. But when guys like Rachel... It's not that I want it," she clarified, quickly, "not at all. But I was talking about the way they... worship her. Like she..." She remembered a phrase, suddenly, and had to look away as she used it. "Like she hung the stars."

Her next laugh was slightly breathless in relief that her words had been treated so calmly. "Well. He's certainly got talents with animals no normal person you've ever seen before has. Anvc bd a really funny concentration face."

She squeezed his hands back, feeling something making its way from the ball of lead in her stomach until it stuck in her throat. Relief. Gratefulness. Embarrassment. A little anger at the world - the type Rachel spoke of. Love. Yeah, that was there. And for once, she wasn't going to hide it. Her lips quirked, but before she could think of what to say, they were having food placed before them. "Oh. Thank you," she said hurriedly. Grinning at Jake again, she tried for a light mood. "So this is the part in The Lady and the Tramp when the song starts, huh?"

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

Jake shrugged one shoulder, tucking his hands in his pockets. “No one said that. I guess I was just hoping that the prettiest girl I know likes me at least as much as I like her though,” Jake replied, ducking his head down.

"Hey, I do not Dad you guys, at worst I’m like a stern uncle," Jake replied, trying to ignore his embarrassment and keep the tone light. "And I’d like to help Rachel avoid murder charges, so I agree, let’s just play it safe." Jake said.

"Guys are stupid," Jake said mildly. "Trust me, I’m an expert on guys." Jake paused for a moment, tapping on his thigh. "And just because Rachel attracts guys that only focus on her doesn’t mean that there probably isn’t a bunch of guys around school that would love to talk to you." Jake shrugged again, looking down, unable to meet Cassie’s eyes. "Oh, Marco isn’t your celebrity crush then?" Jake asked, looking back up at Cassie, grinning slightly. "What about his awkward gangly best friend? Do you think he has a shot with you?"

"Sounds good to me," Jake said after a moment. "And I don’t think the animal movies would be a very good idea unless we were sure to be alone, wouldn’t want my parents or Tom overhearing something and either freaking out or getting suspicious. And I agree about Ax, although if it’s gonna include Ax, we could just do that at his scoop and make it a little bit easier for us overall."

Jake stared at Cassie for a long moment, confusion clear on his face. “I don’t…” Jake began, following Cassie’s gaze to see an older couple moving tables, farther away from them. At that moment, Jake felt a ball of lead form in his stomach, about to make him sick. “Cassie, I don’t care one bit about you being… a vegetarian,” Jake replied, following Cassie’s lead. “You’re who you are regardless of anything else. And I like you for you, even if I am… a carnivore and you’re a vegetarian.”

[theestreen]

Whatever response Cassie had expected to her teasing, that definitely hadn’t been it. Prettiest girl he knew? Even with girls like Brittany and Allison and Gemma at school? Even though he was related to Rachel? She didn’t buy that – couldn’t compute short, chubby, awkward, fashion-impaired her with prettiest girl. So she just ducked her head away and swallowed and fished for a reply that wasn’t calling him a liar, and was very relieved when he moved on to the next topic.

“Playing it safe it is. I’m very happy with playing it safe.” She played with the hem of her shirt, trying and failing to hide the smile twitching at her lips. “Whatever you think is best, Dad.”

“Is this you speaking from personal experience, or because you’re friends with Marco?” Cassie laughed, grinning widely at him. Then she shook her head. “If by ‘bunch’ you mean ‘five who either do biology with me or who really want to be vets one day and love my dad to bits’ then you’re completely right.” Cassie rolled her eyes. “Again: somehow, I think I’ll manage to keep myself from falling in love with Marco,” she said, dryly. I-“He kept catching her off guard, that evening. Kept crossing the lines they usually drew so clearly in the sand. Sure, they were on a date but this was Jake and the two of them… spoke in code. In touchTitle: Bella Nottees and looks and subtle hints. Never outright, like this. She kept getting completely thrown by him being a different Jake than the one she was used to, now.

The Jake she’d fallen for, mixed with a bit of confidence the war had forced out of him.

She… she didn’t dislike it, per se.

“Um… Hmmm…” Cassie’s pretence of thinking wasn’t so much a pretence; she was fishing for just the right thing to say – just the right thing not to ruin everything. “I don’t actually think that awkward, gangly guy has much of a chance. I’m already kinda crushing on some other guy. And he’s… he’s awesome enough to be a really big threat to anybody else.”

She blushed hard enough for the red to seen through even her skin, sinking as low in her chair as possible. She felt so stupid for asking that question; for drawing attention to it. She felt stupid and insecure and guilty and wished she could swallow up the last few moments and spit out something better with their remains. “Okay,” she whispered. “Um… thanks…” She forced herself to look up. “Really. Thanks.”

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

"Your vote of confidence is astounding Cassie, I can see why you like me so much, what with my bone headed words," Jake teased, sticking his tongue out at Cassie playfully.

Jake kept his cheek gently pressed against Cassie’s hand, relaxing into her touch, a little bit more. When Cassie finally moved her hand back, Jake’s head moved toward it minutely, just barely moving before he snapped back to himself, sitting straight again. “I hope so,” Jake replied, glancing at Cassie for a moment before back down to the table. “I figure everyone would be more than willing to give me a few good licks.” At Cassie’s final comment, Jake grinned, a glint in his eyes. “Hmmmm, well if I get to be ice cream ala Jake, I’ll just have to give you a big hug, spread the love and all that. Although, I’d hate to ruin such a pretty outfit with ice cream stains.”

"Okay, now I’m curious about these guys you mentioned," Jake said after a moment. "Because as far as I know, other than your dad, Me and Marco, there aren’t that many human guys you interact with," Jake pulled a mock horrified face, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Oh goodness, Cassie, don’t tell me it’s Marco?" Jake paused, a grin splitting his face. "Hmmm, so Jeremy Jason McCole is the standard for being a hottie that I’m trying to hit?"

"It’s so much fun, you should come over sometime and do it with me," Jake said, adding after a short beat, "The script thing, not like… anything else. And I don’t want to think about Ax trying to overlay dialogue with movies, it’d be crazy space alien stuff."

Jake smiled at the waitress, handing her his menu. “Thank you,” Jake said after a moment, showing the waitress his appreciation.

[theestreen]

Cassie laughed out loud at him before turning and placing both hands on her hips, peering up at him with an amused tilt to her eyebrows. “Who said I liked you all that much, Jake Berenson?” she teased right back, matching his tongue gesture with her own, hers complete with cross-eyes.

“Well. It’s only fair we harp on you to keep you in line after all the times you Dad us,” Cassie replied gently, resisting the urge to reach out and touch his face again. She just wanted to map the entire plane of his face, and smooth out the lines of worry and fear she could imagine all too well. Despite being mortified within an inch of her life already, Jake’s comment about the hug and the pretty outfit still made her flush a little. “Rachel would kill you,” she agreed solemnly. “She views this” – she indicated herself – “as one of her greatest achievements this year. So perhaps we should just stay safe and keep it a la mode.”

Cassie dropped her eyes to the table and traced an old stain in the wood, trying to sort through the jumble of emotions Jake’s words had caused to flare up. A little bit of the mix in her stomach was hurt; she didn’t need to be reminded she was terrible at talking to guys, let alone ones who mingled with the crowd Jake did. “I said see,” she clarified. “Not interact with. I’m best friends with Rachel – she draws guys like the world’s biggest magnet. They don’t actually pay attention to me, but I hover on the sidelines and watch and listen.” Her lips pulled into an automatic smile at his teasing, and she was finally able to bring herself to look up at him again. “I assure you – as much as Marco is convinced he’s going to be rich and astoundingly famous one day, he’s not my celebrity crush.” And then Cassie had to drop her eyes again. “Jeremy Jason McCole was a… a… he wasn’t very nice at all.”

Cassie forced herself to take a deep breath, count to eight, and ignore the meaning Jake’s words could have had. “We’ll make a plan to do – to, um, dub movies.” She cocked her head to the side. “I’m trying to decide whether to stay away from movies that include people turning into animals, or whether it’ll be therapeutic to mock them. And Ax has learned enough phrases from These Messages to contribute human dialogue. Besides; maybe it’ll help him slowly learn to… blend in… more… It can’t be good for him learning only from Marco’s sense of humour.”

In glancing up at the waitress as she walked away, Cassie caught the eyes of an older couple sitting a few tables away. They were eyeballing her, and for a second of sickening panic all she could think of was that they were Controllers, and they’d overheard something, and her and Jake were screwed. And then she recognised their glares and saw what they were upset about – the man looked like he’d swallowed lemons – and she relaxed somewhat. Funny, how the war had changed what she got upset about. Maybe she should be more upset about it. If they were really pretending the war didn't exist, then maybe she should act like she cared more about things that seemed trivial when your hands were leaking the blood of those you slaughtered.

Maybe Jake should care a little more. She bit her lip, wondering suddenly if he would have worried, had he not been the leader of earth's only resistance. If he was just Jake the boy, using that drive inherent in him to be responsible and worthy of those he loved, would they ever have made it past the stage of awkward bus rides? And how much of their stagnation had been because of people who moved tables because of the sight of them? “Does it bug you, sometimes?” she blurted out, watching the couple shift to another seat, where they wouldn’t have to look at her and Jake. “That I’m…” She chickened out. “A vegetarian?”

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

"Sorry Cassie, I refuse to accept any apology unless there’s actually something to apologize for," Jake said, squeezing Cassie’s hand reassuringly, his fingers trying to convey what he didn’t feel like he could through words. "I’ll leave the worrying about that up to you, I know I’m gonna do something to make a fool of myself tonight,” Jake replied, his tone just as light. “I just hope it won’t be so bad you won’t wanna go out with me again… you know, assuming that this date goes well of course.”

"I… I don’t actually know what that means. I’ve never actually seen an After School Special," Jake replied, pausing to think, "At least I don’t think I’ve seen one before." Jake nudged Cassies foot back, grinning widely. "Well, we both know you’ll be able to pull of the wings. Although I don’t know that I’d want to catch all the crap Marco and Rachel would give us if you were in my bedroom in angel garb," Jake said, his tone managing a light joking.

"Oh yeah, I remember seeing this movie being advertised, it came out like… last week I think? It’s about a ghost and a vampire that like… gain control over the characters in a kids book and change them so it’s like, more realistic. It’s supposed to be super funny. The ghost is super emotional about the characters and tries to protect them, and the vampire tries really hard to make stuff end up happy, but it ends with the team members crying or hurt or something." Jake said, quirking an eyebrow at Cassie. "Sound good or should we look at something else?"

[theestreen]

"You're apologising because you think I apologised with I shouldn't have? You're sorry because you won't let me be sorry?" Cassie tried, but couldn't keep her straight face and serious tone. So instead she tickled Jake's ribs teasingly. "Well, I'm sorry, Mr Berenson, but I don't accept your sorry for not accepting my sorry."

His words about another date sent her head into fantasy land. Another night out, this one less awkward because they'd done it before and knew the rhythms. Knew how to act. Like the second time you slip into a morph. And it would only get easier, she knew. And after the war, they could -

She stopped herself forcefully. It was never a good idea to count your chickens before you were even sure you had eggs. "Well... if nothing else, everybody deserves a second chance," she hedged fairly, trying not to blush again. 

"Oh, you do not want to watch one of those. Somehow my parents got convinced it was a good way to teach kids about the 'big scary life things' and... they're quite strange. I think even they realised they were terrible because they haven't pulled them out ever again. Even when they sat me down to have the 'are you having a teenage rebel phase' talk."

She grinned shyly back, ready to leave his talk about the angel at that. But something made her mouth open - maybe Rachel's coaching had a stronger influence on her than she realised - and take it further. "What Marco and Rachel don't know won't hurt them."

"I can't say I've heard about that," Cassie admitted. "But then, I don't really pay attention to that section of the papers. It sounds really interesting. I'm in," she grinned. "I hope ghost stories make a comeback in movies. I loved Casper."

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

Jake took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “As much as I want to talk this through Cassie, can we just… not think about that? Just for tonight, for our first… ya know, date. I really want just one night to just… to have for us, yeah? Does that make sense?” Jake asked, scrubbing his hand through his hair. “I’m not like… blaming you or anything, especially since I brought it up first. Just… I really wanna have a night that I can think about without… without having that association.” Jake said, running a hand through his hair again, thinking that it was more likely to be both Alloran and the Visser dead, but even that was better than still being infested.

Jake returned the smile, trying to make it look perfect. “I don’t think your parents would agree that I’m not able to corrupt you, or that I’m corrupt in the first place. I am a teenage guy after all.” Jake managed a self-depreciating shrug, looking sheepish. “Not that I would corrupt you of course. I mean, I meant it when I said you’re my conscience.” Jake stared at the far wall, unable to meet Cassies eyes, feeling his cheeks flaming.

"That’s… that’s really confusing," Jake said, his brow furrowed. "And that’s really really crazy, that she was only thirteen. I couldn’t imagine having a kid at that age, or knowing that it was the son of God and all that, that’s just… that’s wild. I couldn’t imagine that. Then again, I can’t imagine a good nights sleep anymore," Jake said, trying for a joke.

[theestreen]

"Oh. Right. Yeah, sure, of course. I'm... sorry. I'm..." Cassie wanted to shrink into herself. The one thing she'd been trying to avoid letting Jake do, and she'd been the one flogging that donkey to the point where he asked if they could stop. She took a deep breath and tried to work up the courage to look at him in the eyes again, shame weighing her head down. "Consider us two normal, dorky teenagers who have nothing more to worry about except if we'll make fools of ourselves tonight," she said, forcing her tone to one of lightness. 

"Well... my dad seems to think we're going to run off and become the poster children for After School Special movies." It amused her, that that was what her dad was worried she was out doing. But... she'd promised not to mention the war. So instead she grinned and nudged his foot again and said, "Next time we need to give you an intervention, I'm showing up in your bedroom in full angel-lookalike." Thinking about it reminded her of the look of awe in his eyes when she'd first morphed back all of her except her Osprey wings. Her stomach fluttered - getting that reaction again was not... a bad thing. 

"Weird to think, huh?" She purposefully didn't mention the sleeping thing - no shadow of the war was coming with them, tonight. "Can you imagine which movie you want to see, yet?" she teased. 

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

 Jake watched Cassie’s face flood with emotion, deciding that with discretion being the better part of valor to ignore it.

"Yeah, the visser lacking a morph capable host would greatly help us in our campaign. Although if we get him out of Alloran, I really doubt that we’ll be keeping the visser alive as well." Jake shrugged one shoulder, "I wouldn’t be kept up at night either way to be quite honest."

Jake opened his mouth to reply, his brain catching up to Cassie and his words and the possible implications. “Oh, I uh, I wouldn’t really corrupt you. I mean not like… like seriously like… corrupt you. I just meant like, like religiously, you know?” Jake stammered out, his cheeks flaming red as he stared down at the table, trying to get his thoughts back in line. “Is Marry that important to people of the catholic faith?” Jake asked, thinking for a long moment. “And if you’re just barely still hanging onto the faith, then yeah, you’re as catholic as we are jewish.” Jake joked easily, grinning.

[theestreen]

Cassie gave him a wan smile. "Killing the Visser would be the preferable outcome," she agreed, ignoring the small part of twelve-year-old her that recoiled in horror at the notion of her calmly contemplating killing another being. "But... it's already... such a big thing getting Alloran out. I don't think... I don't want to dream it could happen in case I... jinx it?" She pushed her hair behind her shoulder again. "I believe this war is going to end, but I don't want to dream up specifics. Just..." She shrugged and looked away. 

Because I don't want to admit to myself that we'll have to spill a riverbed of blood in order to get a hold on victory. 

Somehow, Cassie managed a smile at him. "You couldn't. Corrupt me, I mean. You'd have to be... corrupt in order to do that." She stared at the salt and pepper shakers intently so she could avoid his eyes. Would it be so bad if he wasn't so good? If he was one of those popular boys who slung possessive, beefy arms over their girls and kissed on the first date and -

Stop it, Cassie. They're jerks and you know it. Stop. 

"The wedding was the first time we'd been to any kind of service in... about a year?" She grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "But... yeah. Marcy is thought to be the Mother of God, because she gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is God. And there's the Immaculate Conception - the belief that although she was born and conceived normally she was born out of sin - protected from it by God so she could one day give birth to Jesus." Another shrug. "I just... she would have been thirteen, when she married Joseph. That's as old as we were when this all started. And I just... even taking away the claims that Jesus was God's Son, he was Mary's, Imagine watching your son be crucified..." She shook her head. 

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

"Heh, maybe I’ll have to get Rachel to explain it to me," Jake joked with a smile. "If you wouldn’t mind her telling me that is. If it’s something that you don’t want me knowing about, I get it."

"Yeah Cassie?" Jake replied, meeting her eyes easily. "Huh, yeah, yeah okay." Jake said slowly, nodding his head vigorously. "Him and Alloran right? They’re the two we’re gonna free, yeah? Tobias told me about it, wanting to free him."

Jake nudged Cassie’s foot back, grinning widely. “I am totally not corrupting you. If you’d like though, I could try to corrupt you. Plus, I’m not even a really devout Jew. Like we do Passover and Yom Kippur, and sometimes stay kosher, but beyond that I tend to do other stuff with my weekend than go to temple, and I still eat pork and everything.” Jake shrugged one shoulder, “Plus I thought the only big difference between Christianity and Judaism was the whole Jesus thing?”

[theestreen]

Mortification rose like a tidal wave at Jake's offhand mention of taking it to Rachel. Frantically, Cassie started making a hundred pleas, bargains and threats to deliver to her best friend should Jake make good on his word. Because if Rachel was asked, Cassie couldn't guarantee she wouldn't take the exasperated "she's in love with you, you idiot, now go kiss her" approach. There wasn't anything bad about Jake kissing her, really (at all). It was just... it was like the times they'd kissed during or after battle. The actions seemed forced by outside circumstances; seemed just that much less real because of why they were happening. 

She wanted to be the one to tell Jake she loved him. And she wanted Jake to kiss her because he wanted to. Not because they almost died. Not because his cousin had told him to. Not because he thought he should not to hurt her feelings. She was so used to Jake taking the lead that she wanted it, selfishly, for this as well 

"Yeah. Him and Alloran." She thought of the Andalite - the Abomination - and all he'd done. And hoped one day, whatever happened, that there would be those who thought the Animorphs were worth saving, despite their sins. "Alloran... it's not only the right thing to do, but the Visser without a morphing host... that will definitely help, right?" She wondered if Alloran's family would be happy if he returned to them. 

"How would you corrupt me, Mr Berenson?" A moment after the words left her mouth, she realsed the potential innuendo and wanted to hide herself beneath the table. Oh, deer Ellimist. Rachel and Marco would have an absolute week of laughter if they ever heard about this. She sincerely hoped they had been joking and that they were not actually following them because it was more than bad enough it had to be Jake subjected to her free-running mouth. "Um... And Mary? Catholics are real big about the Holy Mother," she spluttered quickly, hoping to cover up her unintended question. "Yeah, Rachel once told me she'd sooner leave the family than give up bacon so I assumed you guys were about as Jewish as we are Catholic."

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

Jake nodded once easily, smiling brightly at Cassie. “Oh, okay. Must be some girl thing,” Jake gave a short but genuine laugh. “I probably wouldn’t get it anyways.”

"Yeah, I understand that You thought you’d always be there to tell them you loved them, and they’d always be there to hear it. And with the war… you don’t know if you’ll be able to tell the people you love how you feel about them," Jake felt his cheeks flaming hot, worrying his lower lip between his teeth as he thought. "I think that might be one of the things I’ll be thankful for too," Jake smiled easily at Cassie, still able to feel his reddened cheeks. After a long moment of self debate, Jake opened his mouth to say something before closing it again, merely tracing his thumb over Cassies knuckles again soothingly, tracing out ‘I love you’ in cursive without really thinking about it, too scared or unable to say it past the lump in his throat.

"Didn’t the devil have other angles that fell with him? I think it’s mentioned in the bible somewhere. So he definitely has friends, maybe the goodness in the world is just so strong that he can’t send anyone else because they’re too weak?" Jakereplied, thinking out loud. "And don’t worry, your secret is safe with me Cass," Jake said, grinning even wider at Cassie’s mortified expression.

[theestreen]

"Yeah." Cassie laughed softly. "Definitely a girl thing." This silly girl, anyway. Nice going, Cassie. 

She was quiet for a long moment, thinking of the team and their families. What Ax had risked to contact his parents again. Marco and his mom and dad and the mess that was their life. And Jake and Tom. But wasn't that usually how wars went? The innocent were the most hurt. And if they weren't, then they were no longer innocent. 

"Jake?" she said quietly, stopping and looking him directly in the eyes. "We're getting Tom back, okay? We're getting Tom back."

"To be honest, I mostly remember the generic Bible stories," she said with an embarrassed shrug. "But I like your analogy. Good kicks butt," she grinned. Her foot nudged his under the table. "Look at you. First date, and I'm already being corrupted by the Jewish boy," she winked. 

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

 Jake kept his soothing actions going when Cassie suddenly stopped talking halfway through a sentence, looking gobsmacked. “You okay Cassie?” Jake asked gently, stopping his thumb in case it was distracting her. “Did I uh, did I say something wrong or something?”

"I don’t think it always has to happen," Jake replied, chewing his lip in thought for a moment. "I mean there’s… I can’t actually think of anyone at the moment. And it’s pretty sad, but once you realize it’s likely gonna happen regardless, it’s less of a punch to the gut."

Jake’s eyebrows knitted together, confusion clear on his face. “Not that I’m aware of?” Jake replied, a questioning tone clear in his voice. “Isn’t the devil supposed to be like crazy beautiful and all that? And Marco… well looks like Marco,” Jake joked, finally understanding where Cassie was coming from. “Plus I always kinda assumed it was a demon and an angel on peoples shoulders. Doesn’t make much sense for one side to send a lackey and the other side to send the big boss does it?”

[theestreen]

"N... no... Sorry, I just... thought of..." She really had to get better about this lying on the spot thing. Marco was right - her inability to lie quickly would get them all killed one day. "Um... something... I f... forgot to tell Rachel. It's... not important..." 

And it wasn't. Because he'd said those words without thinking about it. Just a figure of speech - Rachel used it, too. And heaven knew they were all picking things up from each other. Her gut burned with shame and disappointment she knew was stupid, but couldn't stop anyway. 

"Yeah, I suppose everything gets a little easier to bear the more times you face it," she mumbled, her brain automatically sliding away from the safe discussions about pop culture to the darker alleys she'd been trying to hard to get them to avoid. "And, unfortunately, that happens with the good stuff, too. Like... This war is terrible. Beyond terrible. But it... Before it, I didn't think to tell my parents I loved them as much as I could, you know? Because it was just... taken for granted. And..." She stilled, felt his hand in hers, and took the plunge before reason could kick in. "I mean, there was this guy who sometimes sat next to me on the bus but we had all the time in the world, you know? No need to actually try anything... And..." She looked at him. Tried to force a smile. "I'll thank the Yeerks for a few things, indirectly. Getting to know you better? That's one of them."

Cassie laughed at Jake again and then pursed her lips. "Actually... that's a fair point. I mean, my grandparents always talk about angels protecting you. But whenever it's about bad stuff, it's always 'the devil' who will lead you astray. I dunno. Maybe Satan just doesn't have any friends, so he has to do the job himself." Her hand clapped over her mouth a second later, and she looked at him with wide eyes. "Please don't ever let my grandparents or my aunts know I just said that."

[theestreen]

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[jakeberensonrp]

Jake blinked for a few moments, his head shaking as he thought. “Cassie, you know that I love you and that I respect a lot of women very very much, but the laws of womanhood as you call them sound really really stupid,” Jake said, grinning back at Cassie. “Although if your handbook doesn’t have anything about it, then it must not apply to you, right?” Jake asked, wiggling his eyebrows comically at Cassie.

Jake returned the squeeze, seeing the hurt in Cassie’s eyes feeling like a knife to his gut. Jake nodded slightly, running his thumb soothingly over Cassie’s knuckles, tracing patterns over them to try to distract her.

"Okay I mean like… Harry Potter. No one’s died that wasn’t a bad guy. Harry’s still alive and all of the good guys are too. Even Sirius is alive," Jake said after a moment of thought. "And fairy tales aren’t kids stories, their adult stories that kids can just kinda understand."

Jake felt his own fire spreading through his cheeks as Cassie blushed, unable to look away to compose himself. Jake smiled as Cassie said that he wasn’t dumb with what he said. Jake felt his cheeks heat up even further at Cassies words as the implication of what he said really hit him. “That’s a good point Cassie, and it isn’t dumb at all,” Jake said, clearing his throat, “Plus, if I cannibalized you I wouldn’t have the angel on my shoulder, or my beautiful date.”

[theestreen]

"Hey, I just live here," Cassie laughed. "I certainly didn't make up th-" 

"You know that I love you." She felt like her whole world had suddenly ground to a halt, like the earth was no longer under her feet and the sky was no longer full of oxygen. "I love you." They'd never... She'd thought and definitely hoped that it was just something unspoken but... She tried to shake herself; tried to remember that it was just a phrase and he meant it but not like that. Not like he was actually saying it to her, right there at the beginning of their first date. She tried, but her heart still hammered like an entire brass band once it started up again. 

"You know that I love you." 

And the way he was stroking her hand was not helping her remain rational at all. "Right! Harry Potter!" she said, snatching at the conversation she'd lost track of when her insides had disappeared on her. "And there's magic, which is really cool. Except... Harry's parents kinda died, and they weren't bad people. But that has to happen to every hero, doesn't it? In stories, I mean," she added quickly. "You and Marco always say the superheroes lose their parents?" She pulled a face. "That's actually kind of... sad..." 

She thought she'd gotten the upper hand - gotten herself under control and able to function - when all of a sudden Jake took her joke and turned it on its head. And once again she was left gobsmacked, speechless, and so red she was sure she was glowing. "Is Marco the devil?" was all she could say, and even then the words came out stammered and twisted. She wasn't going to make it through this date. Either she'd combust, do something incredibly stupid or lose all sense of sanity and just fling herself on him and kiss him, like she had on that darn planet. 

[tobiaseverhart]

Makin' A Plan || Tobias & Cassie

[tobiaseverhart]

<I think the universe probably thinks it’s funny making your humor worse,> Tobias said mildly.<No, it’s really really funny,> Tobias replied, his tone chipper. <Yeah, I understand that. And are you sure about that Cassie? Or is it more that you’d like Jake to be able to focus on you?> Tobias said, his tone light and joking, making sure Cassie knew he wasn’t serious.

<They’re blood Cassie, that’s big,> Tobias replied, trying to sweep away his own nagging doubts, the little voice in the back of his head, wondering at the relationship between the Berenson cousins. <None of the rest of us have family that know about any of this, at least not that we can talk to. They have to look out for each other at family stuff more. I also think they just… they get each other better. I like that idea,> Tobias said. <About promising to keep each other safe and from losing ourselves. Kinda like… like an anchor right? We can keep each other from drifting, and even if we drift a ways out, we can still pull ourselves back ot where we need to be.>

Tobias bobbed his hawks head, nodding. <I’ll try to be more outwardly emotional. Plus I might be getting the chance to draw some more soon, so I might start having fingers a bit more often.>

[theestreen]

"Yeah, well, we all know how sane and fair the universe is," Cassie muttered. She wondered, as she had many times before, how much power the two warring gods had over their lives. And she wondered if there was anything stronger than the Ellimist and Crayak. Would the God her family half-served let things like that exist? Or was everything she loved - her whole life - just an unimportant circumstance of a game? 

Tobias' words made her blush automatically, and she was glad for her darker skin. "I have no idea what you're insinuating," she said primly, flicking her hair the same way Rachel did when she was flustered and trying not to show it just to make Tobias laugh. 

"You know, until this all started I never really saw them as cousins. I mean, I knew they were related but you'd never say so. And now... I guess... I guess you're right - blood is a strong thing." She chewed her lip and glanced at him a little shyly. "Do you feel that with Ax? Like there's... not an obligation but something... deeper?"

"Anchors. That's a really great way of putting it, yeah. We'll all just... rein each other in. We're all tied to each other, anyway." What Cassie didn't say was how she saw them all tethered more around Jake than anything else. How he was the centre despite ever planning to be. How she doubted that they would be able to do anything for each other if Jake didn't hold. She hoped - seriously hoped - it was only her feelings for Jake that made her view things that way. 

"Drawing?" Her grin was genuine. "Tobias, that's so great! And, wow, you will have had lots of different views and perceptions to help out with that... That's going to be amazing."

[jakeberensonrp]

Do or Die || Animorphs/Illim & Lance

[theestreen]

It was only years of dealing with scared and hurt animals and Jake’s fingers running soothingly across her knuckles that kept Cassie quiet. Logically, she knew she had no reason to be upset. Logically, she’d known from the beginning that things would be like this. Logically, she knew both sides were just tense and that they had reason to distrust each other. But all she could think about was how she just wanted them to all get along. 

She was squeezing Jake’s hand a little painfully, tense and upset, when he spoke up. She loosened her grip before stroking the back of his hand in thanks. Ax and Marco would both listen to Jake. She watched as Illim slowly made his way out of Mr Tidwell, reaching up with one hand to gently stroke Tobias once on his chest. 

"Maybe go sit on Jake, okay? That way I can get Illim away easier. Just in case, so nobody has to kill anybody." The last bit came out harsher than she wanted it to. After Tobias left her shoulder, Cassie gave Jake’s hand one last squeeze and made her way over to Illim and Mr Tidwell. 

"Ax, please," she begged the Andalite. "Everything’s okay. Neither of them are a threat, okay?" 

She held out her hands to Mr Tidwell, looking him in the eyes as she did. “I promise,” she told him as earnestly as she was able. 

[peaceandmath-deactivated2022111]

Lance relaxed very slightly as the Andalite reluctantly withdrew his tail (but stayed withing striking distance, he couldn’t help but notice). He’d been around Visser Three too often to ever be comfortable around an Andalite tail. To the guerrilla warrior who was smart enough to remain in bird morph, he said, “My condolences. Illim’s boss has killed a lot of people who should by all rights be alive. The sooner we can be rid of that… abomination… the better.” He didn’t recognise the mental voice… but then again, should he? Was there any reason that somebody’s mental voice should match up with their physical one? The only people who usually spoke with him telepathically didn’t have mouth of their own. The bird could be anyone. Best not to think about it. He knew too much already. 

Illim was tense and quivering in his hands. He ran a reassuring finger down his back and he calmed a little, but not much. And then Cassie was in front of him, hands out. He could trust Cassie. Couldn’t he? She sounded sincere. And she’d never given him a reason not to.

Besides, if the Animorphs had wanted them dead, or if they had wanted to kill Illim and keep him alive for some reason, they’d had ample opportunity. 

“Please be careful,” he pleaded as he transferred his friend carefully into her hands. More quietly, he added, “He’s a bit frightened. Yeerks don’t like being high and dry.” 

[tobiaseverhart]

<Sure. Don’t wanna make your life harder.> Tobias said as he fluttered over to Jake, fluffing his feathers as he landed. Tobias didn’t life being away from the enemy. He didn’t want to leave Cassie wholly defenseless.

Tobias trained his laser eyes on the yeerk, making sure he wouldn’t get away with anything that wasn’t totally above board. <It’ll be okay Rachel,> Tobias spoke soothingly to the grizzly. <I’ve got Cassie in my sights, and I’ll tell you if anything happens. Don’t stress yourself too much.>

Tobias waited, and once Cassie had the yeerk in hand, Tobias started dancing back and forth on Jake’s shoulder impatiently. Tobias winged over towards Cassie once she stepped back from Lance, rising into the sky above. <Just tell me when I can land and start absorbing Cassie. I wanna get this over with ASAP.> Tobias said, beginning to circle lazily in the sky.

[grizzlyrachel]

Rachel could barely watch as, one by one, her friends acquired the slimy Yeerk. The only reason she kept her weak bear-eyes turned toward the nauseating sight was because she didn’t want to miss her cue if the Yeerk betrayed them. He’d already admitted he wasn’t on their side; she couldn’t believe they were working with him — them — still!

Growling under her breath, Rachel paced back and forth, her shaggy shoulders radiating annoyance. When the Yeerk finally squirmed back into his usual ear without anything untoward happening, she was actually disappointed. She’d been hoping, despite the danger to her friends, that Tidwell and his Yeerk would try and attack or betray them. Then they wouldn’t have to go to the Yeerk Pool with slugs in their pockets, and Rachel could do what she did best: kick Yeerk butt.

<All done?> she demanded curtly; it wasn’t clear whether she was asking Tidwell or her friends, even to Rachel. All she knew was that this mission had already left a sour taste in her mouth, and the hardest part of it hadn’t even started.

[peaceandmath-deactivated2022111]

Lance took Rachel’s question (Rachel, he noted; he’d recognised the speaker as Rachel — so there was some kind of symmetry between their telepathy and their normal voice) as a cue, and snatched his friend back as quickly as he could without appearing threatening. He immediately held the trembling Yeerk up to his ear and felt him relax. Illim crawled in, questing, merging. The unification was smooth; they were both well-practised at cooperating in this, and there was no real struggle for muscle control of unintended blundering into random memories. Lance felt himself relax; partly in the knowledge that his friend was okay, partly in relief at feeling whole again. He always felt so empty when Illim left, like he didn’t know how to be one person any more.

That… might be psychologically problematic, actually. He filed the thought away with ‘complicated details to worry about later if we actually survive this war’.

"Well?" he asked the young fighters. "Are we done?” He glanced from the bear, to the hawk, to the more reassuring form of Cassie. He took particular care not to look at the Andalite. He had no idea what the group’s organisational structure was, and whether the others could keep the Andalite from killing him for the amount of time it would take to get back to his car. Or even if they’d want to.

<They have what they need from us,> Illim pointed out. <If they don’t want us around, this would be the best opportunity.>

<They would’ve gotten us while we were separated,> Lance countered, but both of them could feel the uncertainty in that protest. Out loud, he said, “We should go. The longer we linger here, the higher the chance that somebody might notice I’m gone.” Lance couldn’t remember a Controller ever randomly dropping in on him at home, but there was no reason for the bandits to know that. 

[theestreen]

Did Yeerks like to be petted? Cassie could feel Illim trembling in her gentle hold, and her first instinct was to sooth him in some way. It made her mouth dry being faced with such a stark reminder that the cool figure she now associated trust and ally power with could be reduced to...

Hesitantly, she ran a thumb over Illim twice - if it didn't help anything, then at least he only had to endure her touch for a short while. She hoped he realised her intentions were pure. 

"Okay," she said, a little too brightly. "Tobias?" 

She waited until he was perched on her shoulder before she opened her hands to expose Illim a bit more. His talons were so sharp as they extended toward the trembling Yeerk, and she wanted to beg him to be careful. But this was Tobias - she needn't have worried quite so much. Cassie did, however, put a warning look in her eyes as she advanced on Marco. Not enough to be rude, but just enough to remind him to keep his attacks purely verbal. 

As soon as Marco was done, she gave a quick glance in Jake's direction before heading back to Mr Tidwell and handing his Yeerk back. "Thank you," she said after she was sure Illim was back in control. "Both of you. We do appreciate the help." Cassie gave another glance at Jake, reading his face for orders automatically even as she offered, "I could walk you back to your car, if you want? The woods are easy to get lost in and the others need to go in the opposite direction." Hopefully everybody would get the hint.