the fall from grace

private writing sideblog for stella gibson.

[thef2ll]

AN EXPLORATION IN THE FALL FROM GRACE OF AN ANGEL AND MANKIND.　　　STELLA GIBSON FROM BBC'S THE FALL.

#sideblog.　#pinterest.　(this is a sideblog)

credits: psd is a mixture of colour-source and psychehelic

–  heavily influenced by original lore + headcanons.

–  memes reblogged on my multi are also accepted here regardless of how long since i last reblogged the post.

–  i switch between all perspectives when writing stella. [first/third are my go to, but i do opt for second person at times] if you're uncomfortable with the perspective used just let me know and i'll change it to whichever suits!

–  this blog will feature mature content and at times be trigger heavy. do not interact if the following topics make you uncomfortable: serial k/llers, m/rder, r/pe, abuse, self harm, suicide, strangulation. (they will never be written, but may be briefly mentioned in headcanons or threads)

[twcbelts]

*         send   META   +   a   word   ,   a   name   ,   or   phrase   and   i   will   write   a   head  canon   based   off   of   this   !!!  

[thef2ll]

#　modern life is such an unholy mix of voyeurism and exhibitionism. people perpetually broadcasting their internal and external selves.

[perfectfoil-deactivated20251202]

this isn't a family , it's a repressive regime . / from stella @thef2ll

When Vera’s gaze slants downward, peeling itself from the television’s screen to find Stella’s perfectly sculpted profile, it takes her a moment to realise that the proffered observation - or judgement, more like - is indeed directed at the screen upon which some sordid case has been unfolding. Though Stella’s eyes are still riveted on the papers spread out on the coffee table, her words are meant for other people than those inhabiting the pages and haunting the glossy photos Vera is trying her best to avoid looking at. She looks back at the television without a word. Beside her, Stella shifts, turns over a page, retreats back into a silence neither woman seems to find uncomfortable. After sparing a glance in Stella’s direction, Vera leans forward, picks up the remote and mutes the news. It’s a statement of its kind. Not as aggressive as turning off the television but potent, meaningful enough in its intentions. If it perturbs Stella, she doesn’t let it show, choosing instead to extend a hand to retrieve her glass of wine and sip.

“I know a thing or two about that.” About families that aren’t that. About repressive regimes. It’s her turn to turn to the wine, drinking from her glass for a moment in silence as though more to say can be found in the red liquid she watches swirl as the stem of the glass between the tip of her fingers. Stella doesn’t move. Doesn’t speak. Vera knows better than to assume she’s not heard her. She takes another sip then refills her glass but when Stella does move, her glass suddenly invading Vera’s field of vision, she almost startles. Their eyes meet. Vera’s fleet. She tops up Stella’s glass, clears her throat, discards the bottle. “You never ask,” she remarks. Vera doesn't either. Stella carries herself with ease and poise, wearing a facade like a finery, the front she presents to the world always so elegantly draped over her, like an expensive shawl made out of silk. It commands respect, forbids trespasses of any sort and warns, in a near nonchalant fashion, anyone who might entertain that very notion. “My mum raised me.” Mother. My mother raised me. Mother. She ought to nail that word into her vernacular. Mum never earned the name and the love it encompasses. With a cant of her head, Vera nods. “It’s your turn, Stella. Tit for tat.”  

[thef2ll]

an audible thought meant as a passing comment,  too transfixed on the inner turmoil that spreads to the pages stella keep flicking through.  searching for...  —vera's words interrupt her initial thought process,  but she's on the cusp of something now — stopping to indulge in vera's little world would only wound her ego. [because of course you would know all about repressive regimes, vera. the stench of desperation oozing from cracked wounds wasn't hard to miss] vera manages todo the unthinkable; catching stella off guard as her wrist twitches at the voice cutting through, steadying her wine glass before recoiling to take a sip. the silence was piercing then, stella's sight shifting to the muted television, the news having already moved on to another story.

it was all starting to make sense now, the profile she'd been building of vera. [theoretically, of course] the repressed desperation was clear, but it slowly unravels the more stella starts to think about vera's mother.　“what was she like?”　that would connect the last remaining dots, showcasing the final picture. it's easy to hear something else hidden between vera's words, it almost sounded peculiar, but it told her there was far more to it.　“and your father... where was he?”　the interest to know more pulls her in, even if she begins scoffing at the mere choice of vera's next set of words. your turn. eyes roll, head merely shaking as she takes another sip from her glass. as though she'd ever willingly offer up anything that allows an image to be created of her — that wasn't plausible, she will never be whatever fantasy people have conjured up inside their mind, not that she wanted too anyways.

“my parents divorced when i was young. i raised myself, mostly. nannies here and there.”　six in total, she remembers each and every name — at which age they came along, and how their faces looked among final moments; a look of pity sadness as they bid her farewell. it's she who feels sorry for them now. [or so she keeps telling herself] but stella isn't offering a detailed biography.

[mcflymemes]

"I NEED MORE TIME WITH YOU" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

feels like you only just got here.

i need more time. this can't be it.

don't go. please. not yet.

i'm not ready to let go of you just yet.

our time is limited, but my love for you is not.

won't you stay just a little bit longer?

it's never enough time when it comes to you.

please don't walk away.

i feel like we barely got a second alone.

this can't be all there is between us.

i really need you to hold my hand.

i wish you didn't have to go.

can't you figure out a way to stay longer?

do you have to go? now?

if you leave me now, i don't know what i'll do.

just... five more minutes. that's all i ask.

give me some more time. give me a chance.

i need you to stay here with me.

don't make me beg you to stay.

how much longer do we have together?

i want more time.

i hate to watch you go... but i love to watch you leave.

tell them you're busy. tell them you can't come in today.

maybe you can lie and say you're sick. stay here with me.

wait wait wait! where are you going?

i need you to be close to me for a while.

would you stay with me through this?

what if i asked you to beg me to stay?

when do they need you to leave?

how much longer do i have you here?

what if i want you here all to myself?

[name], please. please stay.

i can't let you go just yet.

i treasure every moment i spend with you.

would you lay with me for a while?

i won't be able to sleep if you leave.

i'm not letting you go.

the day just flies by when i'm with you.

you really need to visit me more often.

i feel like we barely scratched the surface.

i really don't want you to leave just yet.

can't we work something out? keep you here a little while longer?

maybe you could call in sick.

clear your calendar for me.

figured we could use a night alone.

it's been a while since we went on a date.

we should spend more time together.

do you miss me as much as i miss you?

time really does fly when you're having fun.

is that really the time? have we been talking for three hours?

i should be getting home... but i could be convinced to stay.

[thef2ll]

olivia, katie and stella are all the same person just in different fonts (and also different stages of their life)

[thef2ll]

#OPERATION: 　── * 　MORBID CURIOSITY.

" Where's your sense of adventure ? "

there's a rumble of an engine switching itself off as the punctured tire halts their journey. now enveloped in silence and darkness ─ side from the crescent moon and speckle of stars covering them above, the distant flicker of a motel sign that has her own nose turning and stomach churning.　“i lost that the second this car stopped.”　an almost huff as she pushes open the car door, heels meeting gravel as she looks down the empty road. [nothing, nothing, nothing] nothing but that damn motel for miles.　“i don't quite have a choice in the matter, do i?”　a sigh, finally turning to look at @codevanish.

[thef2ll]

#OPERATION: 　── * 　MORBID CURIOSITY.

" How long has it been since you’ve slept ? "

the morphine had slowly begun to trickle into her veins,  spreading a light ease through her system that she hadn't felt in years.  there's no telling the last time she ever felt this ditzy; maybe in her late teens when she could drink her bodyweight in booze and still wake up light as a feather the next morning. not so much now, thudding headache accompanying her instead.

the ache had subsided, unless she dared to move an inch — then she felt it,  [each striking blow;  crunching bones and the bitter tang of metallic filling her mouth] reminded of why she laid in a hospital bed, forced to stare up at the colour of sickness and death, unable to avoid @fortifeid's questions. especially in this state. not that she wanted to,  a strange sense of comfort in the mundane — the pure simplicity.　“since this morning.”　eyes close, chest lifting as the monitor beeps.　“i haven't slept properly in days.”　she'll blame the morphine for the honesty come morning. that was better than admitting defeat; in stripping herself down and giving up something so simple.

“where are my belongings?”　it dawns on her then, an uncomfortable rumble below the surface at not having something within reach to hash out whatever journey her nightmares dreams decided to take her on. [not that she'll remember a single thing come morning; all of this but a foggy memory that will wake her dead in the night months to come]

[healiotrope]

HER OWN BROWS QUIRK AND NARROW SLIGHTLY AT THE QUESTION. Eyes slowly being drawn upwards to meet with Stella's own. There was almost a menacing connotation to the action, without fully meaning to, it still caused her nostrils to flare. The question regarding her business was in a way, triggering in the sense that she took it as somewhat threatening. ❝ Something like that. ❞ She states simply, at first. Eyes still practically glaring as teeth clenched within her mouth that remained closed. A lot of herself had gone into this community and it did honestly affect her negatively when people questioned the overall authority or meaning behind it. Even though she understood that skepticism, it bothered her. She knows that Stella is only doing her job and so she attempts to keep herself stoic as much as possible, fingers pausing in their fidgeting motions. ❝ We are a Wellness Community, assisting those dealing with past trauma. So yes, I would call it that. ❞

[thef2ll]

#HEALIOTROPE: 　── * 　MATTHEWS, CHARLOTTE.

she says it with everyone she meets, more than whatever facade charlotte kept upholding. [one that seemed to slowly chip away with each passing second. maybe more if she kept poking and prodding] but stella means it this time. a quick look into charlotte matthews — not expecting much, until the surprise of her past began to surface, and then it began to click slowly into place for stella. there's more to it than a mere accident.　“a wellness community?”　brows lift at that, sight drifting down charlotte's mouth to her hands.　“travis martinez, was he also a member of this community?”　almost clearing her throat, a brief pause before looking back up, pen still hovering over page.

“i only ask, given your shared history with past trauma​​​​​​​.”

[thef2ll]

#OPERATION: 　── * 　MORBID CURIOSITY.

" What did you think was going to happen? "

well... i'd have taken you to the place i go each night – the one i should call home. but not the same place i lay my head each night, where i bask in moonlight and trickle away into the horrors of each night; awoken abruptly, covered in sweat and a scream lodged somewhere down my throat, desperation leaking till i've let it drip down onto the pages i keep close.

i'll take you down the hall, to a room with another aura; filled with a burning seduction, where blinds are closed and i remove the fabric beneath my skirt till it pools at my feet and i stand before them. there's no waiting for approval in a body i can barely allow to be seen in stark daylight, let alone completely bare, only the timid glow from the moon poking through each blind to show my silhouette. there's no hiding like this standing before another, painted nails will come to fine strands, loosening the grip of hair before tugging it to reveal all that @perfectfoil is. the first kiss would be delicate, full of sweetness that pulls a longing from the back of my throat, so wanton and humiliating to feel such a rush of hunger – to want, want, want. i'd never be fulfilled, of course. wanting to recoil – disappear entirely, allow the morning light to slip in as i slip out and remind those i've left behind that this is all it'll ever be, all it can ever be.

“i don't hold expectations.”　you should know this, isn't that all anyone ever talked about when i passed them by? i've seen the looks, heard the gossip. it's never shy, not when a woman was before them. but in this instance, they'd be right. my hand meets vera's knee, fingers slipping beneath the fabric of her dress, meeting the warmth of smooth skin.　“that's a very quick way to be let down – holding out hope.”　a mischievous grin forms, i'm sure the light hits my eyes at just the right moment to reveal each glint staring out. it drops and disappears as quick as it came, my hand recoiling to find my glass as i busy my mouth with the taste of merlot.　“i also know my limit.”

[ohisms]

↪     𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑩𝑰𝑫 ᶜᵘʳᶤᵒˢᶤᵗʸ .    (  a  collection  of  various unsorted question prompts .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .   will  be  updated  frequently .  )

are you kidding me ?

[ name ] ,  what just happened ?

hey !  what’d you do that for ?

did you plan on ever telling me ?

do you want to tell me the truth ,  this time ?

you seriously think i could’ve done this ?

did you know about this ?

[ name ] ,  what were you thinking ?!

can we talk ?  alone ?

why are you doing all of this ?

it can’t be that bad ,  right ?

haven’t you heard the stories ?

who did this to you ?

what are you insinuating ?

what did you think was gonna happen ?!

you think i could do something like that ?

who do you think you are ?

why won’t you let me help you ?

do you have any evidence of that ?

can we put away our differences for a second ?

where have you been ? 

is that  …  blood ?

what’s your problem ?

are you real ?

where’s your sense of adventure ?

would you kill for me ?

you’re  [ name ] ,  aren’t you ?

why can’t you just let it go ?

do you want me to stay ?

what if we left  …  ran away ?

what else was i supposed to do ?

how did you get this scar ?

could you give me a hand with this ?

do you ever stop talking ?

you’ve never done this before ,  have you ?

where do you think you’re going ?

how many fingers am i holding up ?

what can i say to make it better ?

why can’t we all just get along ?

can i stay the night ?

what’s that supposed to mean ?

where did your common sense go ?

you seriously don’t believe me ?

what aren’t you telling me ?

do you have a minute ?

why are you lying ?

you’re gonna walk away from this ?

where am i supposed to go ?

can we stop and think about this rationally ?

how long has it been since you’ve slept ?

why can’t we be civil about this ?

what makes you so special ?

where is all of this coming from ?

how are we gonna get out of here ?

you’ll never leave me ,  right ?

were you in on this ?

care to join me for a bit ?

shows what you know ,  doesn’t it ?

do you want to get out of here ?

what were you expecting to happen ?

what are you working on ?

i can tell you’re upset ,  what happened ?

when can i see you again ?

where do we go from here ?

can you sit up for me ?

how long have you been awake ?

what are you getting out of this ?

can we put this behind us ?

where are you ?  nobody’s heard from you .

how can i make this go away ?

were you following me ?

where does it hurt ?  show me .

[ name ] ,  what the hell ?

hey  …  can i ask you something ?

you’re not gonna tell me where we’re going ?

really ?  you’re gonna do that right here ?

are you even listening to me ?

we can help each other ,  right ?

hey  …  did you hear that ?

you have no idea who i am ,  do you ?

how long have you known ?

what exactly are you asking me to do ?

how was i supposed to know that ?

are you new around here ?

can you stop and listen to me for a second ?

do you think there’s something wrong with me ?

what ,  you think i’m not qualified ?

why did you help me ?

can you just look at me ,  please ?

what can i do to convince you ?

where did we go wrong ?

oh my god ,  are you bleeding ?

why the long face ?

are you trying to get yourself killed ?

what do you make of this ?

how much do you wanna bet ?

you’re sure this will work ?

why are you so concerned about me ?

what are you trying to prove ?

did you ever care about me ?

are you drunk ?

isn’t this amazing ?

how long have you been standing there ?

what are you suggesting ?

why are you such a pessimist ?

did you know them ?

can we call it a day ?

where did you come from ?

[ohisms]

↪ 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑷𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑴𝑶𝑵𝑫𝑨𝒀 ? ( a collection of sentence starters from the 2017 film . adjust phrasing as necessary . )

i like it . did you write that ?

haven't i already told you that ?

tell me , [ name ] , what's your secret ?

you're looking fresh as a daisy .

are you okay ? you seem ...

i'm just tired . tomorrow's a big day .

that's very important , do you understand ?

why can't you just accept that this is your family ?

this isn't a family , it's a repressive regime .

you're driving us all crazy .

this is our life , it is what it is .

you're burning up . you running a fever ?

shut the fuck up .

all these years , i've been trying to figure out your angle .

you're not interested in anyone .

[ name ] . i'm onto you .

you can't just vanish .

is there a problem ?

there's obviously been a mistake , can you please tell me what i'm doing here ?

what a pleasure to meet you .

i know who you are .

i'm amazed you made it this far .

this is ... this is all a big mistake .

for your sake , i wish that were true .

is there another way ?

i can't believe this is happening .

we can't just sit here . we gotta do something !

i don't wanna die . i don't wanna die .

you're gonna be okay , i'm here .

i'm sorry . i'm so sorry .

you're supposed to be the believer .

i don't know what i believe . i don't know who i am .

they won't suffer .

sometimes , i think " to hell with it " . to hell with everybody .

do not underestimate [ name ] .

make this a priority .

we always work best as a team .

somebody wants us to disappear . the question is why .

this isn't a game , [ name ] . don't lose your head out there .

what's it gonna be ?

playing dumb doesn't suit you , [ name ] .

get the fuck out of there !

that's not an option .

i wanted to , uh ... try something new .

hold on , we've got a situation .

all your big talk , and you've ... never been with anyone ?

trust me , we're doing them a favor .

i'm scared , [ name ] . what are we gonna do ?

shhh , we're gonna get you out of here .

we failed miserably as a species on this planet .

anyone who's willing to sacrifice their own flesh and blood can never truly be trusted .

you sold us out . how could you ?

i thought you of all people would understand .

what do you know about family ?

i did everything i was told . i did everything right .

i didn't plan this . it got out of my control .

i was a total fuck - up .

if i could go back and change it all , i would .

promise me you won't let them take them .

stay with me , okay ?