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[thefallenguardian]

Why not

It’s been so long since I came here. I had always intended on actually using this account, going through and filling it with stories and events that happened. Even if no one else read it, I wanted this to be a place a release for me. Obviously that never happened.

I’ve grown and lived many years since I last was here, and I must say it’s with mixed emotions I find my way back. I still have written close to every day. I have cataloged and both the good and the bad.

So before we go into everything, and I start to post my life story, I want to explain who I am. I am a man of 21 years, born in Mississippi, USA. I was raised in a decent home that got better and more accepting the further in age I went. I spent my teen years in Florida where I learned acceptance and patience unlike many will ever know. I joined the US NAVY on my 19th birthday and have been in ever since. That’s just a brief description of me, now let’s see how much you can piece together from my stories.

[thefallenguardian]

My truth

This isn't going to be a story of a boy who fell in love and then lost it. It isn't me saying I am sorry. The story told isn't my way of pointing out the mistakes and trying to get you back. This is the way everything happened through my eyes, cause no one really ever cares about the man's view.

You were weak and foolish. A petal blowing straight into the fire ahead of you. You trusted him with your heart and he merely passed it to the next. He never cared, never asked what you wanted, he just walk away. I stood there, as my bestfriend left you crying and hurt. I watched as the petal I loved started to burn. As he walked away, who was it that picked you up and mended your wounds? Who was it that brought life back into your eyes and gave you something to hold onto?

You had found a home, somewhere you were accepted and loved. You found the guy who was willing to crawl miles just to see you smile once again. You stumbled across a heart big enough to accept your flaws and foolish enough to change its own. But it was never enough. You wanted more. The power, and love, and compassion was never enough; nor was the fight I made to keep you safe. The petal I saved was no longer one I could know.

As I let you go, the wind took you and blew you far away... but I couldnt let go. I searched for you. Months I gave, walking and looking for the one I loved, the very petal of which I let go. When I found you, it was too late. You blamed me for what had happened. You flew straight to the fire that burned you before... and I never could forgive that. He took everything this time, and left you bare. But still I fought for you, I held you tight, Iifted you up and brought you back. I finally grew past the pain and forgave your sins. I accepted you... but it was never enough.

I make one mistake. I find a few petals and just talk. Mere words is what you ran from. I accept every flaw you have, and the one time I allow temptation to take grasp, you run with no fight for the one who always saved you. The guardian you loved. And so you cast me from your heart, only to laugh as I fall and make me beleive there is hope. So you're right, I once was your guardian, I once loved you. But that side is behind us now.