Goodbye, Flip-phone. Now what?
I made it with a flip-phone for almost one year. Living (mostly) disconnected was a great way to detox the mind. However, overtime, negative energy started to fester as I built resentment towards those on screens at inappropriate times, parents allowing their children to use screens rather than engage with the world around them, and overstimulated society in general. It was starting to backfire! Plus, my flip-phone service was becoming unreliable and Verizon was unable to provide a remedy. So, I am reluctantly back to the iPhone 6 plus. I’ve learned to appreciate the benefits to being connected and hope to embrace technology in a healthy way moving forward. A key realization come from this: that we as individuals have the choice to abuse constant-connectivity or not, and that is the real challenge and opportunity.
This was nicely explained by Max Strom in ‘A Life Worth Breathing’ (page 33) as he emphasized the importance on being present. He says:
“Some of us have a very difficult time trying to learn to stay in the present moment, to keep the mind from fantasizing, planning, strategizing, and organizing the future. This is especially true for one whose career demands a great focus on the future. The answer is that one does not have to choose one way or the other as a permanent mind-set; the work is being able to focus on the future when it is necessary, and one of the many functions of your mind, but not the only function. And when one is not working, then you should bring the mind to stillness.”
There is a ying and a yang to everything.
That being said, I wanted to share some of the smart phone etiquette practices we have implemented in our little family. We recommended them out at home for 1 week and see how you feel.
1) Disable all notifications except text messages and phone calls.
2) No screen time in front of the baby except: talking to family together, making personal-related-calls at standing desk, and most importantly, DJing. If you need to use the phone to make a call or text, do it standing up with the phone sitting on the counter or table. Babies are learning body language, and when they see a human with shoulders and face towards them, they are expecting the give and take connection. A very important emotional development milestone. Having a screen in your hands will interrupt that, mutually.
3) Do not allow baby to play with screens. Take away gently and explain that it’s for work only and now is not the time to work.
4) No screens in the bedroom. Keep the bedroom your private space. If you need an alarm clock, use a traditional alarm clock. In the meantime, if you still need an alarm clock, put your screen in airplane mode. The alarms will still work, however, it will turn off bluetooth, wifi and phone service. In addition to providing some peace and quiet, it will also significantly reduce your exposure to EMFs (electromagnetic fields).
5) No screens usage during meal time. Enjoy a conversation over meals without interruption of the mobile device. Wonder and ponder unanswered questions together.
6) Designate ‘screen stations’ at home and in the office. Think of it as putting your phone in a parking space so you can check it at the appropriate times without it interrupting your day. You don’t need to wear your screen.
All of this is in an effort to embrace stillness. I’ll wrap this up with one more quote from Max Strom in ‘A Life Worth Breathing’ (page 23):
“When the mind is still, the heart - our emotional center - is unencumbered, and when the heart is unencumbered, we feel joy, contentment, and peace. And then, instead of absorbing the world’s chaos into us, more and more we can bring this stillness out into the world. Only after the storm is brought to stillness can we act from our highest Self, or soul, and not from the lower mind of craving, fearing, and so forth.”
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