chronically offline @theferalcat - Tumblr Blog

i know the 'is mcdonalds a date' questions making its rounds but i feel kind of insane bc thats never even been a metric for me. a date is just when someone says its a date. i went on a date w someone to smoke in a building w a caved in cieling in the rain, shoplifted from a gas station paranoid as hell to get them a soft pretzel and then we chased a rat around. where is your sense of adventure people

memeuplift

dikdikpronouncedxylophone

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

somethingusefulfromflorida

The pit-of-your-stomach dread you feel when you finally remember what your forgot only to realize you've run out of time to do it... It would have been better if you had missed it entirely, but no, you remembered just in time to be paralyzed with fear over not being ready, like being woken up 30 minutes before a test you didn't study for.

memeuplift

curvasyrectas

c-53

When I offer a bag to a customer they usually say like ‘if you have one, that would be great’ and I’m always struck by how bizarre of an offer it would be if I didn’t have one. Like.

“Do you want a bag?”

“Yes, if you have one, that would be great :)”

“I don’t. How does it feel to want :)”

sketchy-panda

every male power ballad can fit on the pyramid. place your favorites.

i’ll go first

thedankmemes

mcmissileproof

at least once every couple of months I still think about the time my old coworker said I was an extremely serious person and she'd never once heard me make a joke, and apart from that not being true at all I just kept thinking about a few days prior when I'd told this same coworker "my brain actually doesn't have any wrinkles, it's actually perfectly smooth and round like a beach ball"