hello. my name is elias hazel, i am an alter in a system and these are some thoughts i recently had.
finding individuality as an alter is hard. you may be the most brilliant and unique person to exist, but there may be nothing in the body or outer world that enforces this, and nothing to make you feel like this is your home too.
when i was first in system, i was terribly lost, sad and angry. i desperately wanted someone to worship, to follow, to dedicate my life to. thankfully, no one accepted this offer of mine, an offer i would give to almost anyone i came across that our system was close to.
but as i stayed longer and longer, and fronted more and more, i began to form my own self. i began to worship arceus in the body, trying to connect with my god in a world which told me He could not exist.
the system didn’t like me at first. found ways to make fun of me, used me as an example of “oh be glad you don’t have him in your system”. i may be a grouchy pious old man but i try and help us all, i do schoolwork, i organise, i take care of the body. and eventually they realised that.
now, i have my own possessions. i have a lovely silk scarf i use for veiling when i pray. i have carved out a place in this body with my bare hands, something we all have had to do. and while i feel triumph, i also feel sad, because it is sad someone is not even able to live their own life in a body they inhabit.
all of this is a roundabout and sleep deprived way of saying… this body is yours too. don’t be afraid to start carving that part of its life out for you as well. it is hard, but it is worth it.
-🥀🌑📜
