TheGateOfAll

[thegateofall]

You know I'm in pain Incredible pain. i know you say “me missing you and all those other things” you don't want to hear it it's not good for you It's just without you, you know it's going to happen to me. no one's going to be around to stop it I know you don't believe me I don't think you'll even read this I don't know when I'm going to do it.

I hope that you really don't care anymore because you're probably not going to hear from me again. I hope you don't feel bad about me dying I don't think you remember but I remember one time you said you would kill yourself we Weren't together so I guess you are wrong. I said I couldn't live without you and I can't. I hope you have a good life with someone you really love give them as much love as I wish I could have given you.

I'll see you in the Stars 

[thegateofall]

I’m just a terrible person

[thegateofall]

It kind of breaks your heart when you hear from the person you love the most the person who once said that if we weren’t together they would also die, that their life is actually doing much better without you. Why not just fucking kill myself be better off for everyone.

[thegateofall]

No one actually wants to talk to me it’s all just fake until they get tired of me. I can’t live without people in my life but what is the point if everyone hates me? I wish I could kill myself and get over it.

[thegateofall]

Everything feels so quiet everything so dull . I just wait here in the nothing alone. I can’t vent anymore No one wants to hear it guess it’s a good thing no one reads these. Every night now I just think about what would be the best thing what would be the best last thing to say to the person I loved should I even say anything at all? What should the last thing they hear from me be? Can’t think about it without crying.

[kaijutegu]

Happy World Crocodile Day!

What's your favorite crocodile? Mine is the Cuban crocodile.

There are 23-26 species of crocodilia (depending on how you split a couple of species) in three families: Alligatoridae, which has the American and Chinese alligators and all the caimans; Gavialidae, which has the gharial and tomistoma, and Crocodylidae, which contans the true crocodiles.

Cuban crocs have been my favorite of the true crocodiles for many years, ever since I got to work with the pair at Louisville Zoo when I was... much younger.

They were such babies back then...

I love that they gallop!

This is footage from the now-defunct Smooth Waters Wildlife Park, not a pet.

You probably love them too, even if you don't know it- if you've been around the internet long enough, you've likely seen this video.

These are baby Cuban crocodiles being hand-raised as part of a conservation project at the Dragonwood Conservancy, not pets.

Those laser noises are baby Cuban crocs making an affiliative call (not a distress call) when their caretaker shows up!

While I love all species of crocodilian, Cuban crocodiles are definitely my favorite of the true crocs. What's your favorite?

[nazskoll-xxx]

Commission for my girl @flintlockwood711

Turned her boyfriend into an alligator 🐊

[great-and-small]

May a nap of this caliber find you very soon

[thegateofall]

I miss you so much ——- I wish we could’ve seen it together the stars the moon

salty waters and the fresh sea

long walks and tall trees calm fires with fresh tea and the quiet places we may dream

Rowdy adventures with love besides us

Mechanical things and art that binds us

no end in sight for the love that finds us

How I wish I could see it outside of my head but only one of us will met a happy end

I imagine this life till the end of my own to the dreams long past and the love we once owned.

[thegateofall]

I don’t have anyone left I’m just sort of at the end of my rope right now I’m just sort of putting a plan together to end things. Thinking about alcohol for it but if that doesn’t work I’m trying to put a gun together just to hurt me, of course. I’m just broken I don’t have friends I got broken up with I can’t even leave this place or anything. Either everyone leaves I get too afraid and push them away the person I love most in the world couldn’t handle me anymore and moved on and there’s nothing here but pain without them I don’t wanna be here anymore. There’s always someone who says there’s people who care but those people always leave I just can’t take it anymore.

[thegateofall]

I miss you

[thegateofall]

I miss you. I miss you so much.

[thegateofall]

I’ve been playing a lot of deadlock still not good I don’t think I could ever really mentally even really try with the thoughts going on my head. I’ve been playing a lot of Viper she’s very positive like you reminds me of you. She also likes to drink and that’s nice.

The community is a bit mean I don’t think they’re allowed to tell people to kill themselves so they just kind of say something close to it you know insinuating things. Playing that game keeps my mind off of everything so hard to keep my mind off things.

[thegateofall]

I hope you forget about me. Please forget about me if you haven’t already I hope you live longer than I do. I know we both said that we wouldn’t be able to live without the other. I hope that’s not true for you with what happened I don’t think it is. i’m not planning to be here forever like I said every single thing keeps going in my head every bad moment every word every time you screamed in my ear. Even the moments long past the ones that didn’t involve you at all it just repeats and repeats, and the only thing that helps is drinking.

I’m hoping to drink myself to you know I hope I can actually get through with it this time. I’m also relieved there’s no one here to tell me not to. You blocked me out I really hope you find someone nice. I guess it’s a good thing you don’t have anything to remember me by.

You know funny enough where is the thing you said about burning? When I’m gone, they’re probably going to burn my corpse just being a pile of ashes, imagine that isn’t that funny.

[thegateofall]

Everyone always leaves every single person I just can’t take it. Why is it every single person? 

I’m just tired. I’m just so fucking tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired. I’m just tired.

[thegateofall]

About a year, maybe more going through all that just to end up with nothing there is no one everyone hates me I am a terrible person. Why are you even fucking bother? Why fucking talk to me? Everyone hates me I am a terrible fucking person. Fuck me.  There’s only one way to end this stupid fucking cycle no one’s here anyways people in the fucking hotline don’t care fuck me I just wanna end this fucking painful.

[thegateofall]

I’m so tired I’m so tired I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’m so tired so tired.