Proof that Jess Mariano is a Gigantic Nerd:
Has a book in his back pocket at all times
Tried wooing his crush with basic magic tricks. Multiple times.
Also tried wooing his crush by stealing her book and writing notes in the margins
Was employee of the month at Walmart
Risked injuring himself to go on a romantic carriage ride with his crush
Described the times he had class with his crush’s bf as “brief non-pugilistic time”
Spent $90 to get a picnic date with his crush
Wooed said crush on said date with literature banter
”You know, Ernest only has lovely things to say about you.”
Put together and personally delivered an entire care package of diner food when he heard his crush was gonna be home alone
Got visibly angry and defensive when someone implied he’d never read Jane Austen
Got so overwhelmed when he finally got the girl that he had to “regroup” before he could stand close to her
Stared lovingly at a book for like 4 minutes straight then called his gf a “cruel woman” and a “book tease” for not letting him read it right away
Deescalated a fight by saying, “It’s getting a little West Side Story here and I gotta warn ya, my dancing skills are not up to snuff.”
Tried fighting a swan with a soup ladle
”Yahoo-ed” the exact distance between him and his gf’s future college
Brought a book to read at a strip club
Was given a romance self-help book by his uncle and actually took advice from it
Chucked rocks at his ex gf’s window like he was in some cheesy romance film
Is still pining over his high school gf. Even now. In his thirties.
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