ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM ADAM KAY’S THIS IS GOING TO HURT : SECRET DIARIES OF A JUNIOR DOCTOR. some have been edited for rp use by me ; feel free to change wording, pronouns, or anything else as necessary !
❛ it’s basically a miss congeniality contest without the sash. ❜
❛ it would be more efficient to prescribe common sense for my colleagues. ❜
❛ i drink about three bottles of wine on a good day. on a bad day, i only manage one. ❜
❛ it’s a free country, so we respect everyone’s – fucking stupid – values and wishes. ❜
❛ [name] hasn’t apologised to me, as that would require him to change his entire personality. ❜
❛ i’m a member of a gym already, but i haven’t been in about £3,000. ❜
❛ oh my god, it’s hereditary. ❜
❛ you don’t… go out much, do you? ❜
❛ all it means is that you spent £1,300 on a pencil. ❜
❛ i think i’ll just take my chances and let nervous energy and red bull keep me going. ❜
❛ when you see what’s in my hand, please do not scream so loudly that three members of staff come rushing into the room. ❜
❛ if you’re having an affair, you can just tell me, you know. ❜
❛ i’d hate him to think i don’t trust him to do his job properly, which i don’t. ❜
❛ even if i wanted to have an affair, i honestly think i’d be too tired to unzip my trousers. ❜
❛ one day the world will explode, and doubtless i’ll be working when it does. ❜
❛ the procedure was first performed in 1869, and most units haven’t bought new equipment since. ❜
❛ my colleagues are idiots and can’t spell the name of the only fucking job they have to remember the name of. ❜
❛ the food’s always excellent. whether it’s to die for is your decision. ❜
❛ and just like that, i’m ruining the stag do, apparently. ❜
❛ this is your third night in a row coming home on time – have you been sacked? ❜
❛ fuck, what do i do now?! ❜
❛ she has ’strongly worded email’ written all over her. ❜
❛ none of his lines would even make it onto the speech bubble of a saucy seaside postcard. ❜
❛ oh my god, where’s its face? ❜
❛ well, we weren’t always quite so honest with the punters back then. ❜
❛ the thieving little cunt. ❜
❛ shame on me for thinking i’d be able to get through a whole coffee undisturbed. ❜
❛ well, we’ve spoken to a lawyer and the answer, it turns out, is ‘yes. that would totally be assault.’ so we’ll say that i didn’t do it. ❜
❛ home delivery is for pizzas. ❜
❛ it’s clearly important that my senses are only dulled through exhaustion. ❜
❛ i have to award him 100% of the bastard points. ❜
❛ i’m sure i used to be nice before this job. ❜
❛ i’m cinderella in scrubs. ❜
❛ i’m not sure what i’ll do with this team once they’re assembled. fight crime, maybe? get them to cover my shifts? ❜
❛ i have genuinely put off eight sets of parents from naming their child after me. ❜
❛ if you have any questions whatsoever, please do not contact me. ❜
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