this is going to be me taking an extremely selfish position on a person doing an incredible thing, I am fully aware of that and acknowledge it but right now I just want to be a lil bit selfish ok
so basically since I moved into the dorms my life has DRASTICALLY improved, I am less stressed, studying is easier, food is easier, and I'm gaining a friend group and support system. a good chunk of that is directly, explicitly, and exclusively due to one of my suitemates, T.
T is absolutely amazing. In the few short weeks I've known her, she's become one of my heroes. She's introduced me to all her friends, including one who I hang out with almost every day now. She's got the biggest heart of anyone I know. She's from the US Virgin Islands and has been almost single-handedly organizing donations, emergency services, and connecting worried families with each other since the hurricane. People are literally calling her personal cell phone to ask about loved ones or whatever else. She's being interviewed by CNN this Sunday about everything she's done/is doing. She's been stressed to pieces but she always has a smile and I admire her so fucking much.
But today she announced that she was dropping her classes and going back to the Islands to help out with disaster relief. She has a boat there that was only moderately damaged, and she intends to fix it up and use it as a shelter to house herself and other volunteers. She's upset and scared and doesn't know how long she'll be gone or if she'll be able to keep her dorm room while she's not technically a student (our RA says she might due to "extenuating circumstances," but it's not his decision).
This is the part where I get selfish. I am also upset and scared. She has had such a major impact on me and my life in just the past three weeks, all for the better. My life has improved so much explicitly because of her presence in it. She's the thread connecting me to her friends, to the only real social outlet I've had in half a damn year. Other than the one guy I hang out with regularly, I'm worried that I'm not yet close enough with her friends to integrate with them without her there. She's been the one inviting me to hang out with them and everything; most of them don't even have my number and I barely know half of their names. She's been so sweet and kind and thoughtful; when she saw I'd made a Facebook post about anxiety, she left me a KitKat and a sweet note outside my door. I can't begin to express what a positive influence she's had on my life in such a short time and I'm terrified of what it's going to mean when that's gone. and the fact that, if they don't let her keep her dorm while she's gone, then even when she comes back we won't be suitemates anymore.
I don't really know how to end this so that's all I'm going to say I guess, I know I'm being terrible and selfish but I am actually really upset and scared and just needed to rant and be selfish for a minute