THE GOLDEN PAIR

INFJ & INTP

[thegoldenpair]

As an infj, I love staying inside all day 🤍🤍🤍

Right???

[thegoldenpair]

I do not think Infj/ Intp are golden pair. The Infj wants to go experience life and live life to their fullest potential while the Intp wants to stay inside all day, which isolates the Infj if they aren’t isolated already. Intp have the potential to do anything, but they choose not to. I think the real golden pair is Infj/ intj. Much more compatible because of their introverted intuition. I think it is golden if the Infj/ Intp pair works out... lol.

Just kidding. You're free to think anything you want.

[thegoldenpair]

I'm pretty sure your INTP is typecast wrong... sounds more like an intj to be honest based on how he interacts with people.

The INTP is a she.

[thegoldenpair]

jacked.

INTP is changing the back tire on car after driving home without realizing it was flat. Sets up jack and begins lifting car.

INFJ, trying to help: Here, let me just- Oh, I don't think it's aligned right... Here, if you-

INTP: Get your hands out of the way! It's not a Ouija board!

[thegoldenpair]

supernatural.

INTP gets sudden whim to see a fortune-teller. Tells an excited INFJ all about it.

INFJ, speaking fast: And? Then what? What did she say about me?

INTP: Why would I ask about you?

INFJ: *groans* Okay, anyway. This is so unlike you! What did you think about it?

INTP: Hmm. I'd need to talk to other fortune tellers to confirm her reading before I form an opinion.

INFJ: What!? *laughs*

[thegoldenpair]

INFJ things: shopping personalities.

INFJ watches Jersey Shore for funsies.

Next day: INFJ cakes on makeup, walks around saying "chooch" and combs fingers through hair. Desires long, claw nails and dark tan.

INFJ watches Sex and the City.

Next day: INFJ considers fashion for the first time in a lifetime. Browses Prada site. Adopts Carrie Bradshaw's hand movements and gestures.

INFJ spends time with old friend.

Next day: INFJ is basically carbon copy of old friend. Has existential crisis about identity.

WHO ARE WE REALLY?

[thegoldenpair]

INFJ things: assumed responsibility for everything.

INFJ finds a litter of kittens with no mother. Stares out window at kittens for hours, waiting for mother to return. Panic sets in as the sun sets and it gets chilly.

INFJ internal thought process: Well of course *this* has fallen into my lap! And of course I have to do something about it. It has to be me because I can't count on anyone else to do the right thing the right way! God, why is it always something??

INFJ gets kittens to safety. Somehow gets roped into a trap, neuter, release coordination program but that's a different post.

Next day. INTP calls INFJ.

INTP: One of my co-workers has to get rid of his dog. I said we'd take her. Is that okay?

INFJ internal thought process: Well of course *this* has fallen into my lap! And of course I have to do something about it. It has to be me because I can't count on anyone else to do the right thing the right way! God, why is it always something??

[thegoldenpair]

adventures in randonauting.

INTP: It wants you to turn here.

INFJ: Where am I supposed to park?! A stranger's front yard? Is this thing rando-nuts?

[thegoldenpair]

morning texts.

INFJ: Did you know at 7 am I can hear a fucking revelry horn playing somewhere?

INTP: I don’t think that’s how it’s spelled. 

INFJ: It’s an alarm on someone’s phone, I think. 

INTP: Still, I think it’s reveille.

INFJ: 

[thegoldenpair]

what'd she say?

INTP is in the park enjoying time with Golden Dog. A couple with a dog walks by, then stops near INTP, while their dog goes apeshit - barking, snarling, pulling at the leash - trying to get to Golden Dog. INTP is forced to move.

Later, couple drives by INTP while she's walking, rolls down window and apologizes for park weirdness.

Couple: Our dog just likes meeting people and we thought your dog would want to meet him, too! Sorry about that!

INTP, deadpan: That's okay. You can't help it.

[thegoldenpair]

find me un-intimidated.

Bug exterminator comes to door trying to sell services.

INTP politely lets exterminator get through sales spiel, but says no. Exterminator then begins trying to scare INTP by mentioning all the poisonous spiders in our area. A novice mistake.

Exterminator: Anyway, we can offer you a great price that will be locked in for a year.

INTP: I've read about these bugs and spiders. It's exceedingly rare for them to bite humans.

Exterminator: Well... right, but in a few months, when they all hatch, you might be overrun and especially if you have pets or children... And the special price may not be available anymore.

INTP: That's okay, I'm sure you have competition I can call. Have a nice day.

[thegoldenpair]

INFJ social bar.

INFJ tries to re-establish relationship with father. Calls him several times to talk and notices he doesn't once ask about INFJ or INTP - though spends ample time talking about alligators. Again, lots of effort has been spent on someone who simply doesn't care.

INFJ: So, our parents didn't really care about us, which is fine, but I think it may be why I'm so needy.

INTP stares at computer screen.

INFJ: It's also probably why I'm hyper about making sure you know I care about you. Do I do enough to show you I care about you?

INTP: Uh oh.

INFJ: What?

INTP: You still haven't realized I'm reading something over here.

INFJ: :(

INTP: My sims talk to plants when their social bars are low. Have you tried that? Maybe a tree? Lots of trees outside...

[thegoldenpair]

lockdown, day...whatever.

INTP: How do I plant seeds??

INTP has decided to play Sims 4.

INFJ: You love having big gardens in Sims, but you never try and grow anything in real life.

INTP: I do lots of things in Sims I don't do in real life. I don't talk to strangers in real life. I don't get lost in my own house. I don't glitch and get stuck in the walls!

[thegoldenpair]

nest feathering.

INFJ: If you had the money, how would you decorate your house? What's your ideal environment?

INTP: I guess comfortable.

INFJ: Fireplaces? Deep couches?

INTP: I don't need fireplaces.

INFJ: I think I could go either way. Either minimalist or full bore fortune-teller's caravan.

INTP: You could never do minimalist.

INFJ: :(

INTP: Think of every room you've ever had. Things dangling from the ceiling. Christmas lights. Knickknacks. Every wall completely covered with paintings and pictures. Minimalist...please!

[thegoldenpair]

after all these years.

INFJ and INTP are watching Gordon Ramsay eviscerate incompetent small business owners on TV. INFJ turns to INTP, spots an eyelash on INTP's cheek, and snatches it.

INFJ: An eyelash! Make a wish! Lord, don't let me catch coronavirus-

INTP, as is her custom, quickly tries to blow eyelash away from INFJ before wish can be made.

INFJ: AHA! I saved it! I saved it!

INFJ triumphantly clutches eyelash tightly between two fingers.

INTP, laughing: Fuckin' A. You are the craziest person I know.

[thegoldenpair]

stressure.

INFJ and INTP, in the car.

INFJ: Huh. Is this Rangewood? Do I turn here or is it the next-?

INTP: WHERE ARE THE STIMULUS CHECKS?!

[thegoldenpair]

house bullsh*t.

INTP and INFJ return from Target with a bunch of batteries. The smoke alarms have decided to start meeping at once, possibly breaking in solidarity with the rest of the appliances. Yay, lockdown sucks.

INFJ: AND IT'S ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT-

INTP: ALWAYS!

INFJ: *shrill* MEEP!

INTP, removing latex gloves: These batteries were really expensive. I got eight of them. They last five years, though.

INFJ: Well, then we're taking them with us when we move.

INTP laughs.

INTP: That'll be fun for the new owners. The day we move out the house starts meeping goodbye.

INFJ: Like the Phoenix Lament.