Hail the Moose King

O Canada We Chillin 4 U

[thegovernmentofcanada]

It's all so tiresome because the premiers all have gone on record saying "tariffs bad" but you know the second he's inaugurated every major Canadian politician is gonna be like

[thegovernmentofcanada]

[thegovernmentofcanada]

Hey guys just wanna let Americans know that Canada is currently undergoing several crises including an immigration crisis. Sure it's easy to come here but good luck eating, having a place to stay, finding a job with a living wage, or surviving in general lolllll

[thegovernmentofcanada]

[thegovernmentofcanada]

So about the Nazi in parliament

Lol. Lmao even.

[oneheadtoanother]

[thegovernmentofcanada]

I'd post more often but nothing I say as a joke would be as funny as real life anymore.

Joe Biden literally visited Parliament and announced to the entire legislative assembly that he "loves all your [sports] teams, except the Leafs"

How the fuck am I supposed to top that?

[thegovernmentofcanada]

WHO LET BOB AND DOUG GO TO SPACE OH GOD OH FUCK

[blackpyrefly]

Could you talk some shit about Alberta? I've lived here my whole life and I need someone to roast this place to validate me

Never been to Alberta but I will give it a try for you: Flat ass province. Cold as shit. What do you do for fun anyway? Eat grass? Fuck Alberta

[butchflirt]

They don’t even have rats

[redchrominance]

[pup-b]

I can't stop thinking about the fact this is a Real Election sign.... Brad Vis this is Not how you recruit the young people

[seat-safety-switch]

More Canada Lies

Or, if you’re not the government attorney who just levered a devastating judgment against me for fraud, “More Canada Facts.”

Did you know? Ontario has the fastest drivers in all of Confederation. This is partially due to the long highways they must navigate every day to go to their miserable jobs, but also because the increased use of road salt has lightened their vehicles to (and often beyond) stripped race-car weight. This doesn’t explain the relatively slow speeds in Quebec, however, because the Quebecois cancel out this weight reduction by eating lots of smoked meat and consuming only filterless cigarettes.

Holy Shit, Nobody Told Me That it is illegal in Banff to be German and not stop every three to four minutes in order to take a picture of every piece of wildlife. Due to a brief paperwork mixup in 1996, German tourism momentarily stopped, at which point the GDP of the area tripled due to the locals now actually being able to get to work on the same day they left their homes.

Why Don’t More People Know About the Magnetic Hill in New Brunswick? An optical illusion tricks your brain into thinking your car is rolling uphill without the engine being on, when in actual fact this is caused by the magnetic force caused by the flow of investment money leaving the province.

Don’t Forget To Visit the Targa Newfoundland, where foreigners attempt to drive down normal Newfoundlander roads at normal Newfoundlander speeds and crash into normal Newfoundlander homes, just like normal Newfoundlanders do. Except they’re sober.

[thegovernmentofcanada]

OP turn on your address

[thegovernmentofcanada]

When you see another post asking people to contact their representative and you're just like

[thegovernmentofcanada]

;)

[thegovernmentofcanada]

HELL

FUCKIN

YEAH

[thegovernmentofcanada]

Happy Canada day remember that it took 120 years to apologize for residential schools and we still fuck them over 🎉

[thegovernmentofcanada]

I guess you guys are expecting me to talk about the raptors, huh?

[catnippackets]

i'm thinking of moving to canada because frankly i can't fucking take america anymore. i know canada has its problems but its looking a lot better rn

Canada is really big and there’s bears everywhere are you sure

[thegovernmentofcanada]

Being big means there's less bear per square meter you fool. You absolute buffoon.