monte cristo

He's grown greedier over the years- before he wanted only my money, now he wants my love as well

[thegreatkabucha]

mistakes

I hate making mistakes at work. They remind me of going back to my last toxic company. I despite making a mistake because it makes me wonder who’s going to think poorly of me, and if it means my boss is going to fire me. Even though I’ve been doing great at work - I get scared. 

I know with time this involuntary trauma-based reaction will fade. I hope one day I can not take mistakes so personally. To error is to be human so they say. 

But it’s hard. 1.5 years later, it can still be hard.

[cookiekappa]

saw a post a while back about Sophie making increasingly gaudy hats for Howl for every birthday and him absolutely loving them

[thegreatkabucha]

J’s parents are so unbelievably selfish it’s infuriating. 

They get COVID, promote bogus science on Facebook, and now go on vacation. 

UGH - I can’t stand it or them.

[largishcat]

anyone else get embarrassed when their self indulgent daydreams are like too self-indulgent? like oh jeez the telepaths are going to judge me

[library-seraph]

#ah so when you’re not Catholic you think it’s telepaths lol

[normal-horoscopes]

Sentences that explain like 70% of America

[auldcine]

Eleanor Parker as troupe actress Lenore in Scaramouche (1952)

[yugiohz]

mr. and mrs. movingcastle are ready for summer

[godlessondheimite]

[haleyincarnate]

Excerpt from Chloë Frayne’s poetry collection, Letters, and Why They’re All For You

[thegreatkabucha]

I wrote another blog post! Check out my blog here: https://authenticallyanni.medium.com/get-instagram-nails-with-japanese-nail-art-60b12b952c1

[oak23]

Marie Kondo really isnt fucking around

[oak23]

If anyone is curious what she says directly after this quote: 

When one or the other of these thought patterns makes it hard to throw things away, we can’t see what we really need now, at this moment. We aren’t sure what would satisfy us or what we are looking for. As a result, we increase the number of unnecessary possessions, burying ourselves both physically and mentally in superfluous things. 

The best way to find out what we really need is to get rid of what we don’t. Quests to faraway places or shopping sprees are no longer necessary. All you have to do is eliminate what you don’t need by confronting each of your possessions properly. The process of facing and selecting our possessions can be quite painful. It forces us to confront our imperfections and inadequacies and the foolish choices we made in the past.

 Many times when confronting my past during the tidying process I have been so ashamed. My collection of scented erasers from primary school, the animation-related goods that I collected in junior high school, clothes I bought in high school when I was trying to act grown up but which didn’t suit me at all, handbags I bought even though I didn’t need them just because I liked the look of them in the shop. 

The things we own are real. They exist here and now as a result of choices made in the past by no one other than ourselves. It is wrong to ignore them or to discard them indiscriminately as if denying the choices we made. This is why I am against both letting things pile up and dumping things without proper consideration. It is only when we face the things we own one by one and experience the emotions they evoke that we can truly appreciate our relationship with them. 

There are three approaches we can take towards our possessions. Face them now, face them sometime, or avoid them until the day we die. The choice is ours. But I personally believe it is far better to face them now. If we acknowledge our attachment to the past and our fears for the future by honestly looking at our possessions, we will be able to see what is really important to us. 

This process in turn helps us to identify our values and reduces doubt and confusion when making life decisions. If we can have confidence in our decisions and launch enthusiastically into action without any doubts holding us back, we will be able to achieve much more. In other words, the sooner we confront our possessions the better. If you are going to put your house in order, do it now.

[thegreatkabucha]

they say you stop giving a fuck the older you get. I think it’s true. And I embrace it. 

I caught up with a very old high school friend yesterday, one I hadn’t seen in years. They told me a story about one of my first deep unrequited crushes- and how at a party a few years ago, my former crush was talking shit about how I was really hot, but it didn’t make up for how small my boobs were.

When I heard this, I didn’t feel hurt- the most remarkable thing was how little I cared. Four years ago, eight years ago (when I last saw him) - this would have devastated me. But now? Why do I care about the opinions of a nobody?

Yes I have small boobs, but I’ve learned to love them. They go well with my tiny waist and big thighs. I love the clothes I wear for my body type. I have an amazingly smart handsome man who adores me, and makes me feel beautiful everyday. I survived being told far worse things to my face and behind my back. I have a better career than this guy will ever have, and to be honest - that guy has nothing of value for me anymore. He’s just some small town boy I knew once eight years ago. 

Ladies- for the love of god, never marry that small town first love without seeing what the world has to offer.

[thegreatkabucha]

Today is the anniversary I got fired. I remember last year when everything happened, I was like “oh great April 2nd is forever ruined for me”. But it really wasn’t. 

Since then, I’ve had a kickass year. I got accepted into DePaul, NYU, and U of Michigan for grad school. I got a dream job at a huge tech company with good pay. What a year!

To celebrate, I’m getting a makeover this weekend. And I finally updated my LinkedIn profile. I still have a lot of anxiety about it- I have sick fantasies of my former boss somehow tracking down my boss and badmouthing me. But Justin helped walk me through how that was an illogical fear. 

In short, if you think your life is over - it isn’t. It really isn’t. There’s always hope. Please always remember that. 

April 2nd is a good day. And it will remain that way. 

[thegreatkabucha]

So I started a fashion blog! If you want to read my random fashion musings, follow me at: https://medium.com/@annikaylb

[thegreatkabucha]

Today my parents asked how work was doing, and I said “it’s great”. And I really meant it. I’ve never really meant it before.

It was such a nice feeling

[hifurio]

[fr0otmachine]

[sussexblr]

I’m never going to be able to look at this engagement in the same light, ever again. 

“It still haunts me. It’s this photograph someone had sent me. We had to go to an official event at the Royal Albert Hall, and a friend said ‘I know you don’t look at pictures, but oh my god you guys look so great’ and sent it to me. I zoomed in, and what I saw was the truth of what that moment was, because right before we had to leave for that I had just had that conversation with Harry (asking for help/her suicidal thoughts) that morning. We had to go to this event and I remember him saying, ‘I don’t think you can go,’ and I said ‘I can’t be left alone.’ We went, and that picture, if you zoom in, what I see is how tightly his knuckles are gripped around mine. You can see the whites of our knuckles because we’re smiling and doing our job, but we’re both just trying to hold on. And every time those lights went down in that Royal box I was just weeping, and he was just gripping my hand.” - Meghan Markle

[dontblamethewitches]

harry: and that's when my dad stopped taking my calls

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